Five ways your teen is the same as a toddler

So maybe you are reading this as the parent of a teen, in which case I expect you will nod along with at least a couple of these. If you are reading this, still in the innocence of life as the parent of a toddler, happily expecting things to change as they get older...well we are sorry, really we are, but sadly somethings never change...

• Your day still revolves around them

It used to be that you had a schedule based on feeding, naps and potty times. You ran them to music groups, mum and baby groups (or dad and baby groups). You organised play dates and marked craft time on the calendar. Now however, while the things you are organising have changed, you are still running your day according to the teen. You are nagging about homework, telling them to get up out of bed, to remember to put their washing in the laundry (or if you have them better trained than I do - nagging them to actually do some washing). You resist drinking alcohol in the evening in case you need to be a taxi later. And you are up late worrying and trying not to text too much when they are late home...which brings us nicely to:

• Sleep (or lack of it)

Once you used to find getting them to bed a chore, the never ending rounds of stories and drinks of water. The checking for monsters under the bed and the 'one more kiss'. And then, always just after you yourself had nodded off, the cry of 'MUM' or 'DAD' and a tiny crying body who had a nightmare, or wet the bed (I knew that last glass of water was a mistake), or just needed a cuddle, appears at the side of the bed, you either make room are get up and carry them back to their room, but both options usually result in not much more sleep. Now you would imagine that having a teen would put paid to all that, they can do it themselves, you'd think, but no. Now you have the constant getting them to bed battle but with added backchat of "I don't need to, I'm a grown-up" and once they are in bed, the eerie glow of a mobile as they check snapchat into the wee small hours, despite you calling to tell them to turn it off, only for them to complain they are too tired to get up for breakfast. And this is with out the perils of the teen 'going out' and not coming home and your own bedtime creeping by with no text or word from them..should you go to bed? should you stay up? Are they coming home at all? How can you sleep even if you do go to bed? and then...they are home! at 2am and they need a snack and a chat and dear lord will parents ever sleep again

• Fussy Eaters

This post was actually triggered by a real life event (not that the others aren't real - they just didn't trigger this post) on Saturday. One of DD's favourite meals is a chicken dish in tomato sauce served with rice. (remind me to post the recipe sometime) any way, the ingredients vary a bit depending on my mood and store cupboard, last time I made it I bunged in a few olives, which she diligently picked out, "I don't like the olives in it" she opined. So this time when I slung the olives in (because, dear reader, I like olives) I was prepared for the teenage moans..what I was not prepared for was "It's yummy, shame there aren't more olives in it though". So yes, you have a fussy 2 year old that happily eats a breadstick on Sunday only to cast it to the floor in furious displeasure on Monday, and you are hoping for this to settle down...well DD is 17 and there is, as yet, little sign of it.

• Clearing up after them

I assume you've heard about messy teen bedrooms? It's not a myth. Things grow in there. Green things in bowls and the base of coffee mugs, socks go there to die. Picking up a few stickle bricks is nothing, nothing I tell you, to the horror of a teenager's bedroom...let's move on...

• Adoring them

I know, I'm a slushy mum, but you know how you look at your angelic toddler sometimes (when they are being angelic or are asleep usually) and you just sigh with the perfect beauty and love of them? Yeah well that. When you teen emerges out of their pit room and is all dressed up looking gorgeous and young and vital, and they smile and say "I'm off out, back later" and you love them and feel that familiar warm glow of being a parent...which lasts right until you peek into their room...or are still up at 3am wondering where the hell they are...

Do you have a toddler or a teen? Or both (I'm praying for you) Do you recognise any of these scenarios? are are there any I've missed?

Things I love about being a mum

This morning on Facebook the lovely Fi at ChildCareisFun mentioned how she was sad to see so many 'I hate being a mum' posts online, not just 'I had a bad day' but proper I hate being a mum blog posts.
I thought that part of the problem was that if you claim you love being a parent, that your life is nice, happy and generally good, people see you as smug and a bit of a bitch to be honest. So I think mums (and dads) are scared to say - this is ace! I love it!
Maybe the fact that you like being a mum and they don't, makes them feel defensive and angry?  Maybe they had a succession of bad days and forgot the good days. Maybe they do really hate being a parent. I don't know. But whatever, not all parents feel the same. So I'm here to balance things up.
I'm one of those weirdos that had an easy time with the birth, loved it all. Who enjoyed pregnancy (even the vomiting) and who loves being a mum, every day.
I thought about writing a rant. But decided a poem was nicer.
So here is my poem. About being a mum.

Things I love (and loved)  about being a mum

A Poem

Waking early at 3 to the sound of her tears.
Being her comfort for all of these years.
Holding her close as a she snuffles and drinks,
holding her less close as she starts to stink!
Cleaning her bottom at a quarter past ten,
then at half past eleven, I do it again!
A basket of washing, sits sopping wet,
the machine not working, and yet and yet,
those so tiny socks are catching my eye,
laying there waiting, nearly making me cry.
Such small clothes for such a small child,
who soon will be big and running me wild.
Changing a sheet that is soaked in wee,
and a tiny sad face pleading with me
that they know they can do it, no nappies required
but accidents happen when you are so tired.
Wobbly bike riding, a crash on the lawn.
A nightmare needs snuggles though it's nearly dawn.
I drag myself, knackered, from comfy warm bed
because someone woke early and now bumped their head.
Packing a bag for a day out seems barmy,
I carry enough to maintain a small army!
First day at nursery the tears are all mine,
I ring my own mum who says 'she will be fine'.
A wasted day worrying when I could be free,
but missing my 'baby' who should be with me.
Paintings on fridges and pasta shell 'jewels'
fondly admired as the nighttime drink cools.
And now she's at school and is going alone,
the time is just whizzing and 'my how she's grown'.
She has her own phone and she snapchats her mates
and she talks about popstars and going on dates.
Next month is her prom all sparkle and dresses
and 'my hair just won't curl' is the top of the stresses.
I've been a mum now for 16 short years
surviving on love, and on wine,and on beers
from the very first moment I gazed in her eyes
every day has been filled with joy and surprise
that I made a new person, who is gorgeous and clever
and have I regretted it? not once, not ever.

as always I'd love your comments - come and chat over at Facebook

Wordy Wednesday with Kirsty Smith

Wordy Wednesday is here again and this week I would like to introduce Kirsty Smith!

In her career as a TV Producer working in magic and comedy, Kirsty Smith introduced Russell Brand to an erotic lady wrestler, locked two presenters in a cage with 60 chickens for a week, and was made to magically appear dressed as a Morris Dancer from a giant pair of underpants. Now at home with two small children, life is almost exactly the same but even funnier and with added rice cakes. She blogs at www.eehbahmum.com  and has written for The Daily Telegraph, The Metro, The New Statesman and The Huffington Post.

You must admit she sounds quite a fun person! So let's see what secrets I can winkle from her in my Wednesday author interview.

Why did you start writing?
I honestly can’t remember I’ve always written. As a teenager I wrote a whole edition of Just 17 magazine on my own in my bedroom which is in no way weird. I’ve got boxes in the loft filled with terrible poems, rubbish short stories and plotlines for really bad films. Now I have a blog instead which saves space. (Teenage poems are the best! I hope they are suitably dramatic and emo)

What 3 things (not including paper, computer, pens) would you like to facilitate a good days writing?
No children - (sorry kids), no internet and no phone calls asking me what’s for dinner. Just leave me alone.

Do you write to a schedule, eg every day or three times a week, set times, etc or do you write as and when the mood strikes?
Pretty much every day I think waiting til the mood strikes sounds marvellous but impractical.

What are your favourite biscuits? And would you have them with tea or coffee?
Tunnocks. All of them. I’d have a Caramel with tea. And then a teacake with  coffee. And then a snowball on it’s own even though it’s not technically even a biscuit. (sponsorship no doubt pending...)

Where do you do most of your writing?
Wherever. I don’t have a special desk or anything fancy. I write a lot in my head while I’m running or walking through town. I can write in a busy cafe, at home in the kitchen or in the car while my daughter is at gymnastics.

What book(s) are you reading at the moment?
I’ve just finished Agatha Christies autobiography. I’ve read it at least 3 times, I first discovered Agatha Christie when I was at primary school her life spanned the Victorian age through both wars and she spent a lot of time in Iraq and Syria on archaeological digs. Her writing has filled theatres, tv screens and movie theatres and she started because her sister said ‘I bet you couldn’t write a book’. I love her. I have just started Go set a  watchman and am also reading the Virago book of women gardeners -I’m aware that makes me sound really, really old.

What was your favourite school subject? and was it the one you were best at?
Languages, I studied French and German at university, although I was never that good at grammar. Speaking French is mainly waving your arms around and saying ‘bof!’ a lot. (well that sounds simple enough...)

Did you have a good or bad 2015?
2015 was great. I wrote a freaking book! And I potty trained my son. And we bought a house. And I didn’t sit on the floor of the supermarket and cry at any point which is always a bonus.

Do you have writing plans for 2016? Are they secret or could you share a teaser?
I am working on some comedy scripts, based on the blog and the book and I have started writing a novel.

If you could have any job in the world except being an author, what would you choose and why?
I’d be a tv scriptwriter...please!

If you could genetically cross and animal with a fruit or vegetable what would you choose and why? I'm currently thinking of runner bean eels, bright green surprisingly crunchy but easy to breed in the often flooded UK.
Kiwi fruit crossed with flies! They’d be tiny, furry buzzy things and when you squished one it would be all tasty and green. Also kiwi fruit are already furry so I reckon they’d be happy to co-operate. (Nice!)

If you could take any fictional character out for lunch, who would you choose and why? And where do you think you'd go to eat?
I want to hang out with Anna Madrigal at 28 Barbary Lane, we’d get stoned and skip lunch. I  adored the whole world created by Armistead Maupin it felt like a million miles away from my life as a teenager in rural Yorkshire but at the same time like home. Plus my subsequent San Francisco obsession led me to discover Amy Tan. When I realised I’d finished reading all of Maupin’s books I cried for days.
 I was bereft !

Kirsty is the Author of How to Have a Baby and Not Lose your Shit

How to Have a Baby and Not Lose your Shit is for women who want to start a family but are not sure quite how 'into' babies they are. Women who have no intention of ever making their own Play-Doh (yes, that's a thing). Women who think that babies are a teeny, weeny bit boring.
Appealing to new and expectant mums (as well as existing mothers who will identify with many of the experiences!) this is not a book about surviving parenting: having a baby is not an ordeal, it's a brilliant life-affirming experience. This book is about enjoying parenting but acknowledging its challenges, about how you can love your children to the moon and back but still not like having fingers that smell of poo.

Wordy Wednesday with Stephenie Siviter

Some time ago I fell in love with a blog. The blog and the blogger were new at the time, but with time comes experience and now I'm happy to share her writing with you for Wordy Wednesday.

The writer I'm talking about is Stephanie Siviter, and you can read what I thought of her blog in 2013, here. But fast forward to today, let's see what's changed.

So Stephanie, when did you start writing?
I can't remember a time I didn't write, from awful diaries, to teen angst poetry, to ridiculously long group emails (before blogs existed) to about 67 half started novels. So as soon as I could hold a pen I think.

What 3 things (not including paper, computer, pens) would you like to facilitate a good days writing? Inspiration, a few minutes peace from the kids, tea.

Do you write to a schedule, eg every day or three times a week, set times, etc or do you write as and when the mood strikes?
I can't write to a schedule. I can't write if someone tells me to (or read). I only write when I get a spark of inspiration. I only write when I HAVE to write.

What are your favourite biscuits?
Plain digestives. Mcvities and no other brand will do.

Where do you do most of your writing?
in bed on my laptop while the house sleeps.

What memorable books or blogs have you read in 2015?
Lots of fellow mum blogs - particularly the ones on Mumsnet frontpage. I haven't read a book all the way through for about three years due to attention span and having babies. haha I know the feeling, though I blame twitter

Have you had a good or bad 2015 and why do you think it was good (or bad) ?
2015 has been hectic. I had my second baby (last baby) and finally married their daddy. I'll look back on it as one of the best - but I have been so busy and stressed probably not stopped to appreciate it enough. oh a baby and a wedding, no wonder it was hectic, though it sounds lovely as well.

If you could genetically cross an animal with a fruit or vegetable what would you choose and why? I'm currently keen on a poppy seed ant, it could sprinkle itself over your loaf.
I don't understand this question. And however much I try all I can see are spider sprouts - if it's ok I'll leave this one. Still shuddering at the idea of ants on my bread. I'm leaving this in purely because it made me laugh so much! hahahahahah

Have you any new books planned for 2016? Do book ideas pop into your head unexpectedly or do you sit and plan them?
I have had an idea for a book for over a year now and hope to finally start it next year. It's about the dark reality and dark comedy of motherhood and being a stay at home mum ... with a big twist. ooh a teaser, sounds intriguing.

If you could bring a dead person back from the dead for one day to have tea and a natter with them, who would you choose and why?
It would be my teaching mentor from when I started teaching in 2004. I was on a year out to Australia when he was diagnosed with cancer and he died within such a short amount of time I never got to say goodbye. I also never got to tell him how much he meant to me. I joked many times about how annoyed I would be by his helpful suggestions during teaching. But the truth was he was a bit of a father figure and I loved him very much. Not a day of teaching passes without me thinking about him and I wish I had got to tell him how thankful I was. He always called me Bridget because of my single status and I'd love to tell him about my two babies and husband. When you get older you realise who are truly good souls - and I wish I could have told him what an amazing man he was. He was called Pete.

You can read my poetry and honest take on being a parent at http://www.mummyswritingdarling.co.uk/

You can buy Stephanie's books on Amazon, from 80p! you'd be a fool not to.


Thank you to Stephanie for taking part. I'm looking forward to hearing more about your new book.

Story of Mum Exhibition

As mothers, it's not often that we feel seen, heard and valued. Yet our everyday stories matter, and sharing them can inspire others.

Story of Mum: Mums making an exhibition of ourselves is a touring programme of exhibitions and events in galleries and online that aims to put mothers in the spotlight.

The exhibition celebrates motherhood, explores the impact of mothering on our identities, and encourages mums worldwide to share their stories in words, photos, collage and film.


Find out more at www.storyofmum.com/exhibition.

Parallel to the real life events, a virtual exhibition is travelling round the world, stopping for mini exhibitions on blogs - like this one!

Participants are asked to choose an item or two from the existing exhibition, create something to add to the exhibition, and share their thoughts on these and their identity in motherhood.

So, welcome to the Story of Mum travelling exhibition. Come in, make yourself comfy, browse the exhibits.

There is cake of course, and art, writing, general mummy silliness.



So, let us begin....

I CURATED THIS:

You may like (and will probably identify with) GeorgiaP who is a mum and a ...

I chose her picture because of the fun it conveys, the joy of being a mum and of course a love of drinking. I too am a giggly drunk, though the longer I'm a mum and the older I get the more likely I am to be a sleepy drunk.

I CURATED THIS:

or maybe poetry is your thing? We mums have been writing some lines to create a poem, both beautiful and true, about motherhood.

Care giver

late night tweeter

story reader

Sleepless survivor

food provider

tear wiper

Fierce protector

rule maker

cheek kisser 

Woman

I loved adding to the poem, it's a beautiful moving pattern of words that flow and mix to show the multifaceted life of a mother.

I CREATED THIS:

I've even made an identity parade (as did many other mums) so you can see more about what I get up to

I'm often tweeting, working (though happier camping!), often grumping (usually due to lack of sleep) I have always wanted to be a mum, I didn't think I ever would be and then when I was the grand old age of 34 there was DD. Perfect in every way and despite my moans and grumbles, despite the lack of sleep, I wouldn't change a thing. She is a teen now and she is still my perfect baby. I adore being a mum. The sleepless nights, the breastfeeding, the toddler years, the growing up and seeing her off to school, and now the challenging teens... Talking to other mums online, sharing the highs and lows is fun too. Story of Mum helps that happen.

Mummy Bloggers

I hate the term 'mummy blogger' (I may have mentioned this, at length, before) I hate the whole image, some woman who is 'just a mum' (don't get me started) who sits around reading Woman's Own, listening to Woman's Hour and eating chocolate while her husband earns all the cash and then sometimes she writes a review of some nappy sacks.

Now I KNOW that is not what all you lovely mummy bloggers are actually like, I know because whether I like it or not I am one of you (also I've met a few of you and without a shadow of a doubt all ace!). I'm a mummy (clue's in the name) and I blog (clue's in what you are reading), ipso facto I'm a mummy blogger. And |I'm none of the above. I work full time (blogging in lunch breaks and evenings) I rant about politics, gender issues and food. I hate Woman's Hour (though I've I've actually been on it) and I have a SAHD for a husband who does all the house-y stuff.

And then I thought, what if I WAS that sort of person though, what if I was 'just a mum' (I know I know - I told you don't get me started) if I was a mum that blogged about being pregnant, varicose veins, pelvic floor weakness and vomit. What if my reviews were of changing bags and nappies and I ranted about public toilets (or lack of them) and baby changing facilities, would it be so bad if I was that woman? and you know what, it wouldn't be bad at all! If written well that sort of stuff is BLOODY AWESOME because being a mummy is BLOODY AWESOME and if you can share the ups and downs in a moving and yet still hilarious way then a blog like that would be gold dust, gold dust I tell you!!!

And so I present to you my new favourite blog, a blog by a mummy, about being a mummy, and it's BLOODY AWESOME! so I have finally, after far too long probably, embraced the mummy blogger (metaphorically - it would be a tad stalkerish otherwise) I'm proud to be amongst this illustrious group of super humans. Go, Read one of the funniest yet gentlest blogs I've read in donkeys' years.

I give you The Confinement Chronicles, my favourite post is ...nope can't decide they are all hilarious, have enjoyed the frankly adorable post on being pregnant far too long, and laughed like a drain (appropriately) at the take on the bladder of a pregnant person.

Go ahead and check her out, But do come back, I'll miss you

And look, she's only on Twitter too! follow! follow!

It is fine to be offended by public breastfeeding...

It is fine to be offended by public breastfeeding...or any breastfeeding.
You can be repulsed by it, loathe it, find it vile and disgusting.
You may if you like actually feel physically sick when you see a woman breastfeeding.
That is your right.
I myself find spiders to be loathsome and vile.
Everyone has a right to be disgusted by anything.
We can't help it.

I could tell you that breastfeeding is natural (it is), beautiful (it is), that it is brilliant for both mum and baby (it is), I could tell you that it can be hard and that mums need a medal even for trying to breastfeed in many cases (they do) but just as you could tell me that spiders are harmless (yeah yeah) that they are miracles of nature (I hear you) that they rid the house of nasty dirty flies (yep again) and neither of us would be convinced. I would still feel disgust when i see an arachnid and you would still feel ill seeing a woman breastfeeding. It's your right of course, I can't tell you how to feel. Neither can any one else.

You are allowed to be disgusted by a perfectly natural and beautiful thing.

What you are NOT ALLOWED to do is ask a woman to stop, to ask her to 'be more discreet' or to 'cover up'. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED to ask a cafe owner to move the lady to another table 'at the back' YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED to ask her to feed her baby in the toilet, or to point at her, to make a fuss, to embarrass her. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED to complain to her or those around you, to harass her.

You are allowed to look away. To move away, to use another cafe, to eat your sandwiches in the toilet.

You are free to be disgusted, just as I am of spiders, but you are not suddenly allowed to assume the world is an adult only space, or that a baby eating should be hidden away.

And to all breastfeeding mums reading this. I salute you.

oh and I don't kill spiders - I know it's my problem, not theirs

Awarded 5th April 2012

  
 

Breasts, juicy juicy breasts...

So there was a report, it was about breastfeeding, we all got enraged. Yes all of us, everyone..or maybe just me. Anyway the point was I was enraged. The report (widely reported in the media) seemed to say that breastfed babies were poor sleepers, miserable, cranky, and generally sadder babies than the chubby bundles of fun that sleep through and giggle like smiling cherubs when fed formula. No wonder there was rage; I’m almost a breastfeeding nazi! (I’m not but once on twitter someone listed me as such, I was sort of proud) anyway….I went off to track down the report itself since none of the media sources, not even the BBC, saw fit to link to it or reference it in anyway. Luckily the NHS website was more forthcoming and even helpfully pointed out the errors with the ‘study’…such as that the ‘study’ was not actually designed to study the difference between breastfed and formula fed babies at all, it was an aside from a larger study and that the study itself had only 300 participants, that the data was all subjective and no backgrounds were obtained for the babies…well go check see for yourselves(and a snippet below), it’s basically a pile of ‘maybes’ and ‘might haves’. No real concrete data at all.

"There are several additional points to make:

• The researchers did not take into account other wider issues that might affect the chosen feeding method, mother/baby interactions and babies’ temperaments, such as whether the mothers were working, time spent with babies and feeding schedules.
• The study relied on mothers to subjectively rate their babies’ temperaments. Such self-completed ratings could be influenced by other things, such as the mothers’ anxiety about breastfeeding.
• The differences in temperament between breastfed and formula-fed babies as rated by the mothers appeared to be small. For example, the emotional instability score was 2.8 in the bottle-fed group and 3.0 in breastfed and mixed-fed babies. It is not possible to say whether these small score differences would have made appreciable differences in the day-to-day temperament of the babies.
• Educational achievement of women who breastfed or mixed-fed their babies was higher, and how this might have influenced their scoring of temperament was not discussed by the authors.
• It is not known whether the current method of feeding at three months represents a consistent pattern since birth or whether there have been changes. For example, a baby described as formula-fed at three months may have only just been switched to formula feeding and may have been exclusively breastfed up until then. Finally, as the researchers point out, this small study of mothers and babies in Cambridge may not be representative of UK mothers and babies generally."

But why were mothers bothered? If a study says that something may not be as good for your baby you won’t do it – you want the best or your baby. Best is a fed baby. A baby that grows and is happy. Breast or formula can do that, but mothers all want the best. This study seemed to imply that breast was actually inferior…or did it? It said that breastfed babies were more restless, formula fed babies slept more. Well I don’t know about you but after a huge meal of heavy to digest food I sleep well too! Often most of the afternoon, so having a belly full of heavy rich food makes you sleep … ok …

And babies that are breastfed cry more. Now this is the thing that made people sit up! Babies that cry are sad! Miserable! Poor little things! But most breastfeeding mums I know feed on demand. The babies need to inform mum when a new helping of grub is in order, and it might not be in four hours because, well it was easy to digest, it went quick and now “I’M HUNGRY!” and then they drink and are not hungry and can get on with being babies..watching the world, growing, communicating (often by crying “I want to touch the thing!” “why is the light bright” “I want a cuddle” “I want to be left alone” “I want a cuddle “I’M HUNGRY AGAIN!” ) so really is the crying bad? 

No! babies cry! Breastfed babies may (or may not – it’s a tiny, flawed study) cry more but that may be because they are communicating more! Because they are more awake, because they are not dozing with a tum full of formula!

So is formula bad? Of course not. Lots of babies grow up happily on formula, a mum may not be able to feed, may adopt, may have a tough birth, may have a busy job or a second child that is ill and needs her attention too, amy not fancy brestfeeding, there are a million reasons a mum might not breastfeed (one reason I’m not a ‘breastfeeding nazi' and would never say anything to another about her choice unless she asked for advice) but should a woman choose not to breastfeed because of this study? NO! certainly not!

But the sad fact is that thousands of women every year are put off of breastfeeding, and your milk is nearly always the right thing for your baby. The reasons for not breastfeeding are usually fear, fear of exposure, fear of offending people, fear of being verbally abused, fear of not having enough milk, fear of not being able to do it, and an added fear that on top of all that it may be ‘bad’ for the baby is just awful!

Formula is not a poison and may suit you better, but don’t use it ‘to get a quiet night’. My own experience and that of many breastfeeding mums is that if you relax, if you are led by your baby, you can have plenty of sleep with breastfeeding (not all at night it's true!) and will often not get sleep with a formula fed baby…because (guess what) babies are all different. Babies are different and mums are different, babies that sleep may have mums that don’t worry, or mums that fuss more to get things right! who knows!?

You are the mum, you and your baby are a perfect match, and if you can, you should listen to what you, your baby and your family needs, then everyone can relax and be happy. They are only babies such a short time, enjoy them.

Mothering Sunday

My lovely DD has written me a poem and said I can share it with you. It is wonderful and made me all smiley and teary at the same time. I'm lucky to have such a sweetheart (remind me I typed that next time I'm close to strangling her)

and the silly bit? well maybe she had this in mind - a polaroid from yesterday's trip to London Zoo courtesy of Vosene (more of that later)

Hope all mothers (and those doing the job of mothering) have a lovely day today.

Retro Goodies and a kitchen of delights

On Friday I took a day off work, the lovely horse mad DD had a 'Pony Day' at the local stables, so lovely DH and I wandered around some charity shops. We laughed at the oddities, sneered at the self help books, bought some art books....and then, I saw....this

well what's a girl to do? it was so pretty and my pyrex dish had recently succumbed to unexplained damage, so I practically 'needed' it. £2.45 and it was mine! Oh the joy, I found I was really really happy to own it. I mentally shouted at myself "get a grip! you are not a 1950s housewife to be thrilled by kitchenware!" but it was no use. I love it.

After someone on twitter mentioned there was a blog that dealt with  lovely finds in charity shops I decided to blog about it, but also to look around and see what else I had 'collected', magpie fashion, over the years...

The first thing i realised was that we inherited a lot of stuff. The very plates, cups, bowls etc that we use on a daily basis are pretty retro...

and the eagle eyed will have also seen, that along with the Chelsea Bird themed crockery there is a recipe book, a retro recipe book ('old' for the un-trendy). It is a book from 1968, by the amazing Marguerite Patten, called simply 'Everyday Cookbook' and it's a gem. I inherited it from my mother in law and as I gazed at the pages I realised that I owned many things that were in the book, and used them in my everyday cooking too!

So here are some examples, pictures of the item, with the book opened on the relevant page, see how good you are at spotting 

 This first one, the scales, I found in the same charity shop as the pretty lidded roaster. And even though I already have a set of scales like this (and yes I use them to weigh stuff they are not just for show) I couldn't resist buying them, they were too cheap, too shiny, too pretty (I am a magpie!)

 This next item once had a lid but DD broke it (sad face) I inherited it from my mother in law as well and the exact same dish is used several times in Marguerite's cook book. Semi claim to fame.

 This coffee cup (one of a set) is inherited from my Grandmother, they are so delicate you can see light through them, I rarely use them because I prefer a mug, but they really are lovely.

And of course not kitchen is complete without a mixing bowl

And while I was looking at the cook book i thought how it was so sweet in what were 'new' foods (oh the exotic avocado!) and what a kitchen should look like

Now I think I'm doing quite well, my kitchen is fairly 'domestic goddess' like

 but then I saw that the late 60's early 70's wasn't all about the food....

So I was pleased to declare I use this next thing, a lot :-)

Anyone for Baby Cham?

Posted as part of Me and My Shadow's Magpie Monday

Post Script - I just searched Ebay for "Chelsea Bird" and was shocked! maybe I should stop eating off of 1930's plates and sell them! (then I could buy up all the pyrex/opalware) 

The new lidded roaster I bought is listed there for £20 so I feel even happier now!

Ranty Ranty Rant (in which our hero rants)

So NetMums has annoyed me. An article in the news says that they did a survey and mothers admitted to ‘lying’ about how much quality time they spend with their kids, what they cook and feed their children and how much TV they allow kids to watch. Etc etc

The reason for this lying is apparently to keep up with other parents, and the moral is that we can all relax as everyone is lying.

This makes me angry on 2 counts. Number 1 is pretty obvious to anyone that knows me and it’s because I don’t lie, and neither does my hubby, I include him because he’s the stay at home parent in our house, he’s the one that cooks DDs meals from scratch (I recently taught him Bolognese sauce! LOL) and he’s the one that sits with DD to do homework, the one that helps, encourages and listens while she practices her clarinet. I’m the one that drives her to horse riding, bakes muffins with her, takes her to her music lessons ( and yes, I admit it – we have middle class pursuits and you know what? I don’t care!) which leads me on to the second reason it annoys me. (to be fair, it annoys NetMums too and it’s part of what the are saying but not all, because they are happy to assume everyone lies, which as I’ve pointed out, they don’t!)

I’m annoyed because of the reason parents supposedly feel compelled to lie. Once again it’s to feel good about themselves. Parents that lie are lying because they see their parenting as substandard, and they lie to sound closer to the ideal parent. Well here is a newsflash

THERE IS NO PERFECT PARENT

Really, we are all learning and all our kids are different , we, and they, are all individuals. Maybe your kid watches TV from when they get in until bedtime every day, maybe you are a vegetarian and they only eat organic, maybe you breastfed for 6 years or you formula fed from birth, maybe you work and your kid goes to breakfast club, maybe your 11yo has a TV in the bedroom or you have no TV in the house. IT DOESN’T MATTER!! We all love our kids, we all do the best we can for them and for us. As Janet street Porter said today on Radio 4 “There is your way and there is the wrong way” there is always someone ready to bash your choices, always a ‘study’ somewhere to show you are ‘parenting wrongly’ so get a grip, DON’T LIE be proud that you are a parent, a parent who may struggle, may yell, may use the TV as a babysitter so you can get time for a shower, a parent that may (shock) allow a toddler to share your bed because it means you all get to sleep. Whatever you do, if it works for you and your child be proud of it! Stop lying! 

Admit you are awesome. You are mainly awesome because you read to the end of this ranty piece of crap. Now like my Facebook page and you will explode with awesomeness

Camping in the Spring or Summer

We had a chat on twitter (which rapidly got out of control as these things do!) about a few of us getting together for a camping trip. Maybe in the spring or the summer holidays for a weekend or even longer. As my daughter is at school it needs to be holiday time. I suggested The Camping and Caravanning Club site at Norman's Bay, Pevensey and this idea met with approval from the people I hoped it would. While the idea of a 'twentup' took off across twitter I held firm to my ideals of a few of us having a wee get together with kids, beer and wine, and maybe a sausage or two.

If you need more info contact me via my contact page. (Contactify Link here)  Would be nice to actually make this happen.

And if you can't come to this event but see folk near you on the '#twentup' tag - let them know you are keen and organise more camping trips, you can't have too many tenting trips!

 

National Camping & Caravanning Week (#NCCW)

May 30 to June 5 this year The Big Pitch!!

Meet up at Norman's Bay - anytime during this Big Pitch Week!!

Wean me gently, a poem about breastfeeding..................

This is a poem by Cathy Cardall it was brought to my attention by @radicalactivist -  and I love it and wanted to share! (it made me all weepy at the end)

Wean me gently

I know I look so big to you,

Maybe I seem too big for the needs I have.

But no matter how big we get,

We still have needs that are important to us.

I know that our relationship is growing and changing,

But I still need you. I need your warmth and closeness,

Especially at the end of the day

When we snuggle up in bed.

Please don't get too busy for us to nurse.

I know you think I can be patient,

Or find something to take the place of a nursing;

A book, a glass of something,

But nothing can take your place when I need you.

Sometimes just cuddling with you,

Having you near me is enough.

I guess I am growing and becoming independent,

But please be there.

This bond we have is so strong and so important to me,

Please don't break it abruptly.

Wean me gently,

Because I am your mother,

And my heart is tender.

You Know you're a mummy when......

A lovely meme nabbed from the blog of Christine at Thinly Spread

The rules are basic, write a little list of things which mark you out as a Mum (or Dad), link back to this post (or Christines!) (thank you) and offer the  meme up to some other bloggers who you think will enjoy it. It doesn’t matter if you have tiny babies or birds which have already flown, if you’re a parent I want to know what marks you out as one!

1. You spend more money on clothes for your daughter than on yourself, in fact you only look at kid's clothes, you think about kid's clothes and you know her shoe size and dress size but are not sure of your own as the last time you bought yourself anything new was so long ago.
2. You are a grown up but you do weekly spelling tests, make 'models' of anything from 'The Moon in a Shoe Box' to a 3d seed, and do regular 'times tables'.
3. Your car contains a car seat and a spare, in case a friend needs to come, this friend will never be your friend, you do not have friends, your kid does.
4. You have a calendar in the kitchen which is so full of appointments, parties, playdates etc that there is no room to add any more, none of these are about you.
5. Tears at 3am make you move over in bed to make room for a 'small person', who despite only being 10 years old will now take up 45% of your side of the bed, you don't care though because you want them to sleep well.
6. You would walk over hot coals to see your daughter happy, because you love her so much.
7. You sometimes want to kill your child because she can infuriate and argue like a pro (see 6 above)
8. You are an expert at creating a fancy dress costume at short notice from things you can find around the house.
9. You understand the importance of a 'particular' bear and won't sleep either until it is found
10. You never get tired of cuddles, chubby hands creeping into yours and watching (and listening) to your child sleeping.

So there is mine.....what makes you know you are a mum (or dad)?

Maybe I should ask specific bloggers to play - but I'm WAY too busy being a mum........

so just play along - pop your links in the comment box and I'll come have a read........when I get a minute