Short and Ranty - words

Short and ranty is what this blog post is. Me, I'm quite tall and ranty. Today I'm ranting about the term 'Hack' as in 'life hack, 'parenting hack', 'storage hack', 'money saving hacks' etc etc

What does anyone think this means? Does it mean anything and who started it? Hacking as in the original meaning (to cut, notch, slice, chop, or sever (something) with or as with heavy, irregular blows) came into popular use to mean a break into a computer system. OK I can live with that, it's a virtual cut, or slice, into a programme, fine. But as a life idea? I presume some bright spark somewhere thought 'ooh changing a computer system is a hack so maybe changing something in my life is a hack too'

Well it isn't, you sound ridiculous and this mangling (hack can also mean to mangle BTW) of the language has to stop. I'm happy for words to change meaning over time but grabbing a word and shoving it into a space where perfectly good words for that thing already exist is just ridiculous and demeans the language.

You don't have a 'camping hack' you have a good idea. You see, an IDEA, the word was there already! A cunning thing that people might not have thought of that could help them if they adopted it. Try it, try using "I have a great idea" rather than "I have a hack for that" it works and you sound so much more human.

For some great camping ideas and not a hack in sight try my other blog WWW.TentsAndFestivals.co.uk

It took off with 'troll' too. Troll originally meant a person that threw ideas (often but not always vile ones) out into the public domain to get a reaction. Hence the often used term "don't feed the trolls". Feeding a troll in the form of replies to a deliberately controversial post/tweet/message etc was what they wanted so it was suggested ignoring them would work. Nowadays a troll seems to have become anyone on social media that says anything people don't like and specifically someone who threatens or is particularly vile in their attacks. Well in my opinion while they may be a troll as well, they are more than just a troll, they are often breaking the law for a start and I'd like a new word in this case. Any ideas?

And a last little rant about 'literally'. I am literally going to talk about it! I metaphorically throw up each time someone uses the word 'literally' to mean its exact opposite. Can we not move back to either 'metophorically' or even 'almost'. As in "I almost died" "I almost threw up" "I metaphorically killed him" "I literally wet myself" wait ... you literally wet yourself? I hope you got your jeans cleaned up OK.

What’s been happening in the world of TM - a catch up post

What’s been happening in the world of TM . Well Dry January is finally passed and I managed it without too much hassle. The discovery of a nice non-alcoholic red wine and a non-alcoholic lager did help. I also discovered a fair few juices and soft drinks that I liked too, not least the lemonade from Cawston, sharp and delicious, and the yummy rhubarb and apple. It was equally nice to celebrate a month of the booze with a whole bottle of cava on Sunday, leaving me a tad tipsy and struggling to make sense in tweets.

I think @tattooed_mummy has been celebrating the end of #DryJanuary! 😂 pic.twitter.com/CBrH20UTX1
— Samantha Gouldson (@SamGouldson) February 1, 2015

The experience of dry January has meant I plan to go back to only drinking alcohol at weekends, and sticking with my new non-alcoholic discoveries in the week. This is partly down to health but more down to my weight! Since before Christmas extra lard seems to have been sneaking its way under my skin in that cunning way it does. As you will remember I found a nice free diet app to help me keep track of what I was eating, and by cutting down I’ve so far lost half a stone in January. I hope to continue the slow weight loss until I’m under 10 stone, at which point I will be less strict with my diet but still keep an eye on things. As a deliberate (I’m pretty sure) attack on this, people keep bringing cakes into work, I am resisting.

I received my tower of London poppy back in January and finally put it all together and set it in a plant pot (next to my home-grown avocado) in the conservatory, it’s giving a splash of colour and reminding us daily of the futility of war – not that anyone in power seems to have noticed that, but still…

My tower poppy finally in place, with it's avocado friend. #towerpoppies @TowerPoppies pic.twitter.com/2OuoDb3GDt
— Tattooed_Mummy (@tattooed_mummy) January 31, 2015

On Friday DD bravely had a 3rd tooth extracted – ready for her new braces, in preparation for gorgeous film star teeth, I’ve promised she can have them whitened too when they are finally straight, people will mistake her for an American!

On Saturday we had a teensy bit of snow that barely hung around long enough for comment.

Our Dogs, RIP

On Sunday afternoon Mr TM foolishly mentioned he had been toying with the idea of getting a dog again. It’s been over a year since we lost our last dog and the house is ominously hair and mud free, his daily walks are boring and I think he would like to remedy all that. Of course DD and I were way too excited and keen and instantly began scouring lists of rescue dogs. Initially put off rescue when we saw some of the ‘rules’ the smaller charities had, we were heartened to see that the Dogs Trust is keener on making sure dogs and people are matched up and happy than in red tape, also the adoption fee was much less! Mr TM has now forbidden us to speak of dogs again until he’s made up his mind. This is me not saying that there are some extremely cute dogs at the Dogs Trust…and if we got one (which I’m not talking about) she would probably be a small, cute, young female, not a Jack Russell …maybe a staffy…but as I said…I’m not talking about dogs.

Shark Week! Lets talk blood! - Pink Parcel Review

That time of the month, Aunt Flo from Redcar is visiting, the painters are in, you've fallen to the communists, it's the red tide, you're cursed, on the rag, on the blob, surfing the crimson wave...basically it's shark week...yes ladies let's talk periods! (but gentlemen, do not stop reading, you can score awesome caring points later in this post, from the lady in your life!)

Poor Mr TM lives in a house with two ladies. (I use the term loosely) there is me of course, but there is also the adorable DD and of course being female and living together we not only experience shark week we synchronise it!

All that baggage that Aunt Flo brings with her when she comes to visit! Having the painters in would be bad enough but there's the delightful hormone swings, the cramps, the the THE JUST FEELING BLOODY ANNOYED ABOUT EVERYTHING OK!?

So it was with delight that DD and I agreed to review the Pink Parcel and the Teen Parcel.

The idea is fairly simple, they choose nice things for you each month and send them to your house along with your chosen sanitary protection. Thus both delighting you and saving you the sudden rush to Tesco Express on a Friday night in your worst pants and a dressing gown, clutching a hot water bottle.

The website allows you to choose your sanitary protection choice from tampons and towels and make a choice within that about flow etc (sorry to be graphic chaps, bear with me) You set up your dates (which you can change at any time if Aunt Flo is late etc) and then you just wait for the goodies!

There are sweet things for that carb craving, fancy teas because , well we are British we do tea at times of national crisis so on a day we've fallen to the communists sounds like a good excuse! There are beauty things to make us feel lovely (we still are lovely obviously but we don't always feel it)

DD was very excited with them both, but being a fairly grown up 15 year old she was equally happy with the contents of the Pink Parcel as the teen one, though she has found use for the spot cream!(and eaten my chocolate!)

If I had one criticism  it's that they don't cater to hippy ladies like me that don't need disposable sanitary protection each month, maybe they could look at an extra option maybe with a pair of nice panties or something? Just an idea.
The boxes are beautifully designed and unpacking them is a fun joy - DD even squealed about the cute little tampon bag.

Your first Pink Parcel is £5.95 and after that they cost £9.99 a month, that includes postage. They are filled with really nice branded goodies and I would say that they are worth the money.

I would think that they would make a super gift to yourself to remind you each month to love yourself, make your visit from Mother Nature more of a celebration than a curse. They would also be a lovely present for your daughter to welcome her to the world of womanhood.

And now chaps - you still reading? Good -Here is where you gain maximum kudos, buy a subscription for the lady in your life, show her that you appreciate the discomfort of a period, that you know she has a hard time of it once a month, and that you want to let her know it's OK to treat herself. Make her feel special at a time when she doesn't feel very special at all.  And after shark week maybe she'll remember how nice you were....WHEN YOU ARE NOT ANNOYING THE CRAP OUT OF HER! sorry where was I ? Oh yes, so there we are, a gorgeous gift box to make surfing the crimson wave a little more lovely.

Pink Parcel is specifically looking to create more open conversations around periods, so that women and teens no longer feel embarrassed or afraid. They encourage women to join the conversation via Twitter using the hashtag #AMonthlyThing. Pink Parcel also hosts a blog on their website with tips and information to debunk period myths. Why not follow them on Twitter and Facebook?

Teen Parcel &  Pink Parcel on Twitter

Disclosure - I was sent one of each Teen and Pink Parcel for the purposes of the review

I have more American readers than British ones

I like to check my stats for the blog, I use Google's basic blogger stats page, the Webmaster page and even StatCounter (I sound obsessed, I'm not they all offer slightly different things)

I love to look at the search terms that found the blog, lots are hilarious! And I like to see if people stay to read more than one page, and do they use the tabs I've created to sort the blog a bit. Do my visitors pop off to look at my camping blog? But I also like to see where my readers are from. A lot of hits are bots of course and so much spam! So I can often discount certain 'guilty' countries if they have high hit numbers. But I can't help noticing I have more American Readers than British ones.

I wonder why. I am clearly (so I assume) a British blogger. I use the moniker 'mummy' rather than 'mommy' in my blog title and my online user name. I blog recipes of Eton Mess. I talk about Jubilees and London Olympics.

I do discuss teen parenting or course - a fairly universal concept I'd imagine, at least in the Western world. And I've been known to throw out advice on potty use (both adults, at festivals, and children). I've ranted about breastfeeding and about birth plans.

But my political rants are mostly English based, and they are rare. And my walks and 'what I've been up to' posts are very English.

Maybe that's the answer, maybe the Americans like a slice of slightly angry British life? Or maybe all my British readers are nervous of being tracked and are using American Proxy servers!

Let me know! Are you American? Do you read my blog often? Why? and I'd love to know how you found me. :-)

Feeling Extra Sociable

It seems that through a clerical error ... due to my skill ...because everyone loves me ... for some reason I have been shortlisted for a Blogging award with Britmums.

I have been selected in the category 'Social Media' which includes social media as an adjunct to blogging. Y'know, Twitter, Pinterest and that. I think I talk too much.


Hilariously the category is sponsored by Pinterest. And those that follow me there will be aware that my Pinterest is ...a little odd shall we say.

Anyway, if you like this blog, or love my weird Pins, or like a natter on twitter do consider voting for me. I'd love to add 'Award Winning' to the front of 'Blogger' when I brag about what I get up to in the evenings.









Oh and pop over and check out my Pinterest Boards *nudge nudge*

There are some great blogs shortlisted, and as long as they are not in my category *wink* feel free to vote for lots of them!

California Driving Tunes

I'll be meeting up with Mimi, a friend I've known online (and met once in person) for years. I have hired a convertible car and DD and I are planning Thelma and Louise style adventure (with less death hopefully) and so I need some songs to drive to.

I'm planning on popping a few onto my generic mp3 playing thingy (probably my phone actually) and also doing a CD or 4. I plan to take the unabridged Audio Book (on CD) of To Kill a Mocking Bird too, we have a lot of driving to do.

So I'm asking you for some help, some input, some reader participation. So far the tracks I have lined up are



and some Beach Boys of course, California Girls....obviously

San Francisco (Be Sure to Wear Flowers in Your Hair) - of course.

But what other must have driving tunes do two English girls in an open top car cruising the West Coast need?

Suggestions in the comments please!

A very special toy.

I'm going to post about a special toy. I want you to post about one too. I'll add a linky.

The post should be about a special toy, with why it is special, it should have a picture of the toy, which can be drawn by you if the toy is lost in the distant past. The toy can be yours or a friend's, or belong to your child.

There will be a prize for the best post. (I shall look for a sponsor but if I can't find one I'll provide the prize)

Competition and PRIZE details now live at http://tattooedmummy.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/a-special-toy-blog-competition.html

What a tangled web we weave

When first we practice to deceive...

So they say, and based on one experience I had online it seems to be true.

Way back in the olden days, before twitter, message boards were very popular. I think some still are.

I was a member of a popular board for parents. Both mums and dads chatted about kids, life, jobs, all sorts of things. Some of us flirted a bit, nothing serious, we were mostly all in relationships. Some of us made friends and exchanged Christmas cards, talked on the phone, chatted via email that sort of thing. And about 20 of us became really close. All women and one dad.

When a few of us were banned from the message board site (don't ask, that's a WHOLE other story) we started our own board.

The dad on the board was in his 30s. He had a young wife and a young daughter when he first joined. Later his wife got pregnant again and they had another girl. He was really nice, worked in the city doing shares or something, was good at financial advice. Often discussed schooling, wanted advice on his daughters, that sort of thing. His wife wasn't keen on him sharing things online, so he used a pseudonym ("Bis") , for himself and "fake" names for all his family, much like I do now, back then I shared my real name, and my families real names and location.

He was witty and clever, very chatty, often flirty, but never stepped over the line. He was nice, and fun. It was good to have a dad's perspective on things.

We were all friends on the new board, still talking about family life over a year later.

Then one of the ladies on the board broke up with her husband. It was very sad and a tough time for her, we all rallied round (digitally speaking) with advice and support.

Soon after that, Bis needed to travel on business and suggested he meet her as he would be in her state. She agreed, they met and had lunch.

But she was worried, she told us he appeared a lot younger than he had claimed, and he was a lot more flirty than he was online. But the meal passed without major incident and they said goodbye still friendly.

When he returned home after his trip he told us how he'd stumbled on a family crisis. His wife was having an affair and was planning to leave. He was devastated. She would be taking the children and he didn't know what to do. He hoped maybe he could stay with one of us, specifically the lady he'd met as they'd got on so well .....

None of us knew what to say, so many friends with breakups was upsetting, we were sad for everyone, but the lady he'd met told us privately that she was uneasy about meeting him again.

Bis continued to tell us about what was going on but things sounded like they were happening so fast, it was all starting to sound 'odd'.

Bis told us how much he'd always liked the lady he'd met and that now he wanted to ask her out, but he'd told some lies. We assumed maybe his wife didn't know about his online life, or maybe he'd invented her 'affair' to put himself in a good light, but the "affair" his wife had wasn't the lie...

He told us he needed to come clean. It seemed that a tangled web was so tangled by now that even Bis realised, despite keeping copious notes about what he'd said in the past, the ages of his girls, etc etc he couldn't continue.

It was ALL a lie. He was not 30. He was not married. There were no children. He didn't work in the city. There was no business trip. He didn't even have a girlfriend.

He was a teenager, living at home, he worked at a corner store. He had joined the message boards when his then girlfriend had aborted his baby when he had wanted to keep it and marry her, they had split up. He had wanted to pretend he was going to be a dad, he had been so upset he had invented his perfect family, and the lie had grown and grown.

He had grown to like people online. But he couldn't stop the lie. It was too big, it had a life of its own. He had tried to 'remove' his family only when he wanted to ask the woman out...

Everyone on the message board was shocked. They immediately banned him. The woman he met was freaked out and wouldn't speak to him ever again.

I kept on touch online for a while as did my friend Mimi (she's real, I've been to california and met her) but it was odd, not knowing what, if anything was real.

Sometimes I think of him and wonder what he's doing now. I hope he's ok. The story was strange and sad. But it makes me behave differently online now.

There is an old New Yorker cartoon where two dogs are using a PC, one is saying to the other "on the internet, no one knows you are a dog" it's true. None of us know who the others are.

Take care out there.

Have you been fooled online? How much do you lie? 

Pop over to my Facebook page and comment  there, or come for a chat on twitter. 

Pimp my Chimp

You know when you are asked to look at someone's blog to review or comment?

No, me neither. But today my luck changed and I was asked and then I panicked because what if it was totally crap? The writer considers me a friend (based mostly on the fact he used a picture of my nipple as wallpaper on a colleague's pc ...but I digress) and I hate having to say bad things or lie...

So phew, it turns out his blog is pretty witty. Probably more witty than mine, certainly as ranty.

so if you hate IT (we all do) or if you love IT (weirdo) but like laughing at stupid people, I think you'll enjoy The Chimping Dandy

I know I did.

Ps. Its true about the nipple

No Mojo (aka the one where i whinge)

I think I've lost my mojo, my blogging mojo obviously - in all other areas I'm filled with mojo, seriously mojo-d to the brim (as it were) but blogging? not so much.

So I'm blogging this post to clear my head, ramble a bit and try to find my missing mojo.

It hasn't helped that the weather has been shit for the time of year, unrelenting cold, wind, grayness, drizzle, rain, snow, hail ... you name it, it's been flung at the UK lately, oh except sun, and warmth, if you named sun you are out of luck. I had a festival to go to and it was fun but it was fun despite the weather, not because of it. There was wind so strong the main festival tents had to be moved and my own tent waved like a cats tail in a room of grumpy foxes. I really thought it might collapse altogether, though in the end it stayed erect...mojo worked there at any rate... but on the whole the weather has depressed me. 

Our garden fence blew down, I have to spend time and money getting that fixed. Our heating is STILL on and we are cold and all my summer dresses are taunting me from the wardrobe "oh look" they cry, "you have at least 6 of us! haha you won't have time to wear us all! the summer won't be six days long at this rate!"

And the media also is a mine of misery. Political decisions based on the roll of a die or the loudest yahoo at the meeting. Tornadoes (yes I realise my weather whinge pales into insignificance but as I've said before, a greater catastrophe than mine does not lesson my pain or distress), and now bloody murder, closely followed by right wing ranters all over the place...I'm not racist but...yeah you probably are then..

And stories of people I know on twitter and blogs having horrible family news, cancer, losing children, troubled pregnancies, family bereavements...

So with all this how can I blog funny? or even rant funny? there is no funny. No wonder my blog didn't make it to the finals of the Brilliance in Blogging awards. I wouldn't have voted for myself at the moment. Gloom gloom gloom.

Luckily I have a week off next week, I will spend time relaxing, seeing DH and DD and hopefully having some fun. Maybe, if i look hard enough, I'll even find my mojo.

Pointless Morris Dancers

Saving money? Save a Pound? No Problem!

When I read Inside The Wendy House's Blog post on saving cash I knew I could add a few top tips myself! Then when I saw it could help me save a few pounds myself with MoneySuperMarket, well I was off and running!

So without further ado here are my ways to save some money, starting with my fabulous new thing....

1. Buy a SmartCafe cafetiere/mug - you can still have real coffee at work (or on the move if you are brave) without paying coffee shop prices.
2. Buy a multipack bag of crisps (or other snack of your choice!) I work and I'm a dreadful snacker - if I buy a bag a day singly it cost 60p a time, but a multibag takes the price down to less than 25p
3. Cancel expensive TV subscriptions. I know not many people will do this, but there is lots of free TV and you don't really NEED it do you? oh ok just check you are getting the best deal...
4. Ensure you are using the best mobile phone deal. Contracts might get you a new phone but they cost more in the long run. A Pay as you go sim (like Giffgaff see my sidebar link) is very cheap, from £5 a month!
5. Check that you really need that paper bill, loads of companies (phone, electricity, gas etc) will reduce your bill if you get only online invoices.
6. Really penny pinchers among you could cut open the end of the toothpaste tube to get the last un-squeezable bit out...
7. But even the less keen should rinse shampoo bottles, bubble bath, washing up liquid, liquid washing detergent etc with water to get the last bits out.
8. Use your washing line if you have one, not a tumble drier
9. Use the internet to compare prices and ensure you are getting the best deal
10. Repair things! In an age of disposable this and that I think we forget things can be repaired! Check out your local cobbler to keep shoes going longer! and invest in a glue gun, lots of toys can be 'saved' that way.
11. Do home baking and use the whole oven, plan ahead, make your own cakes and fill the oven up!
12. Buy cheap food that keeps when it's on special offer. Pasta, rice, lentils etc can bulk out a meal and last a long time in the larder
13. Only eat meat a few times a week. Meat is more pricey that vege food. Try and plan a few meat free days
14. Find out what you can freeze and utilise your freezer, keep sliced bread in it and only defrost what you need to safe mouldy bread. You can freeze milk, butter and cheese too
15. Buy local, avoid paying petrol to drive to a big store and buy fresh produce in small amounts more frequently.
16. Organise clothes swaps with friends of a similar size! (or with kids of similar ages) get 'new to you' clothes for free and clear your cupboards at the same time.
17. Use Caustic Soda to clean drains (not those fancy expensive drain cleaning products) follow the instructions, it's cheaper and more effective.
18. Blog! Enter online competitions and join in, it's fun and you might win things, anything will help from a free book to actual money!
19. Check your washing machine, can you turn the temp down or use an eco wash? that will save time and money.
20. Don't be too proud to use Lidl or other cut price Supermarkets
21. Use ebay to buy things. Lots of nearly new bargains and cheap deals.
22. Use ebay to sell things! Why give things away if they are nearly new? Someone may want it - try ebay or the local free paper
23. Always check online for discount vouchers/codes before you buy something online.
24. Sign up to voucher mailing lists. Pizza Express send me discount vouchers almost weekly!
25. Plan ahead, taking kids out for the day, take drinks, snacks and refillable water bottles.
26. Find free stuff to do with your children so a fun day is not an expensive one! baking, mini treasure hunts, walks in the coutry or local park can all be fun.
27. Use a Kindle or Kobo app on your phone or PC (assuming you don't have an ereader!) and you can download hundreds of free books to read. For all ages
28. Use the library! Not only for books but to read the paper, see magazines and even story times with the kids
29. Don't buy a news paper, so much news is available on the television and online you will save a small fortune (and not miss much to be honest!)
30. Wash your own car. Saving mone on hand washes and car washes, and get some exercise at the same time! (or get the kids to do it!)

 And if you want to enter your own money saving ideas for a chance to win £1000, visit www.moneysupermarket.com/30-ways-to-save-1-pound/ for full details, terms and conditions.

(Picture Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos )

Votes, Cleavage, Awards ...

It was with not a  little shock and amazement, that when perusing the the Brilliance in Blogging shortlist to see if any of the lovely people I know online had been mentioned, that I discovered I was listed!

Last time there was a Blogging Award going I was hosting it and there were no prizes just the joy of winning, and of course it was a fabulous way to find wonderful (and weird) new blogs.

But to be nominated by an actual real person (maybe even you! yes you, reading this right now!) for a BritMums Brilliance in Blogging Award was just .....well Brilliant!

Gratuitous Cleavage Picture to Amass more Votes

And that got me wondering, as I was nominated in the 'Laugh' Category (I don't think they have a 'Rant' category) what have I written that made you laugh?

I looked back over some old posts, some that made me laugh at the time or make me laugh now, and here they are ... are they what made you snigger? If they raise even the tiniest of a smile I'm not too proud to say I would simply Love you to vote for me. Thank you.

• My Top Ten Celebrity Beards - I was a tad tipsy when I wrote it, it still makes me laugh

• The one with Mr Tumble - Funny and a little disturbing

• When 5 Year Olds Swear - because swearing is big and clever

• The one with Horse and Lasagne - say no more

• The one where I lose the plot - actually most posts are like that, this was on saving money

• The one where I am Nemo's Dad - no really, I am

And why not check out some of the other rather fun blogs listed too, after you've voted for me obviously, it wouldn't do to get distracted ....

Mummy Bloggers

I hate the term 'mummy blogger' (I may have mentioned this, at length, before) I hate the whole image, some woman who is 'just a mum' (don't get me started) who sits around reading Woman's Own, listening to Woman's Hour and eating chocolate while her husband earns all the cash and then sometimes she writes a review of some nappy sacks.

Now I KNOW that is not what all you lovely mummy bloggers are actually like, I know because whether I like it or not I am one of you (also I've met a few of you and without a shadow of a doubt all ace!). I'm a mummy (clue's in the name) and I blog (clue's in what you are reading), ipso facto I'm a mummy blogger. And |I'm none of the above. I work full time (blogging in lunch breaks and evenings) I rant about politics, gender issues and food. I hate Woman's Hour (though I've I've actually been on it) and I have a SAHD for a husband who does all the house-y stuff.

And then I thought, what if I WAS that sort of person though, what if I was 'just a mum' (I know I know - I told you don't get me started) if I was a mum that blogged about being pregnant, varicose veins, pelvic floor weakness and vomit. What if my reviews were of changing bags and nappies and I ranted about public toilets (or lack of them) and baby changing facilities, would it be so bad if I was that woman? and you know what, it wouldn't be bad at all! If written well that sort of stuff is BLOODY AWESOME because being a mummy is BLOODY AWESOME and if you can share the ups and downs in a moving and yet still hilarious way then a blog like that would be gold dust, gold dust I tell you!!!

And so I present to you my new favourite blog, a blog by a mummy, about being a mummy, and it's BLOODY AWESOME! so I have finally, after far too long probably, embraced the mummy blogger (metaphorically - it would be a tad stalkerish otherwise) I'm proud to be amongst this illustrious group of super humans. Go, Read one of the funniest yet gentlest blogs I've read in donkeys' years.

I give you The Confinement Chronicles, my favourite post is ...nope can't decide they are all hilarious, have enjoyed the frankly adorable post on being pregnant far too long, and laughed like a drain (appropriately) at the take on the bladder of a pregnant person.

Go ahead and check her out, But do come back, I'll miss you

And look, she's only on Twitter too! follow! follow!

It's a funny old world

I like the internet. It makes the world a small place. Like an intimate soiree. And like a party you chat, you listen, you get talked into things....

So when a Twitter buddy sent me a link to an online competition saying 'this would be great for you' I had to take a look. How flattering! It was a competition to be the Citizen Journalist for Ecover (a company I love and use and have reviewed on the blog in the past) and part of the deal was you had to attend a festival. We all know I'm a sucker for being drunk in a tent in field so how could I refuse!

I entered. I panicked a bit that I didn't write much (about 140 characters per answer I expect!) Then I imagined that was the last I'd hear of that.

But I only went and won! So I'm now on a roller coaster ride to discover Ecover's 'Secret Thing' and to write articles for their online news magazine The Splash., To attend Hampton Court Flower Show (will I need a hat?) and then of course the festival.....

 Yes gentle reader this middle aged self proclaimed hippy is only off to Glastonbury this year in the company of Junior reporter DD! - who knows what adventures will befall us! Stay tuned!

I won't be alone as I cannot be trusted there were two winners. So I'll take a moment to introduce you to .... Lemon!

And the Winners Are...

For Best Animal Blog - The winner is http://marleyandlola.blogspot.co.uk/

For Weirdest Blog - By a landslide!!  http://www.theskullillusion.com/

For Blog that made me cry most this year - a tie!! two winners  http://motherhoodjourneys.com/ and http://randommusingsofarandomlife.blogspot.co.uk/

For Angry/Rantiest Blog the winner is http://dadandproud.wordpress.com/

For Best Political Parent Blog the winner is http://liveotherwise.co.uk/makingitup/

For Craziest Family as demonstrated by antics on Blog the winner is http://iknowineedtostoptalking.blogspot.co.uk/

For Blog with the cutest family the winner is .....  http://mamacrow.blogspot.co.uk/

For the Most positive feel good blog we have another tie! Hooray and the two winners are ... http://www.storyofmum.com/ and http://www.sleepisfortheweak.org.uk/

For Blog with the best life advice the winner is http://www.analyticalarmadillo.co.uk/

The *£!*$ Award for the Blog with the best use of Profanities the winner is (and it was close!)
http://www.thekrakenwakes.org/

For the Blog that once made me wee laughing the winner is ... http://iknowineedtostoptalking.blogspot.co.uk/ (sadly not sponsored by Tena Lady)

Best non UK based blog award goes to http://www.chickenruby.com/ (and no you greedy whatsit - there is no prize!)

For Blog with no theme but i just love it so there the award goes to http://bad-fiction.com

Best Music blog goes to  http://eddsnotdead.blogspot.co.uk/

The award for For Best New Music Blog goes to  http://hornetmusic.blogspot.co.uk/

The (if we are honest, slightly dodgy) award for Best blog with 'Aftershave' & 'Whiskey' in the title goes to http://whiskeyforaftershave.com/


The award for The 'I survived his shite and came out incredible and fabulous' blog award goes to http://motherhoodjourneys.com/

The award for Bravest Blog goes to http://poundofcheese.blogspot.co.uk/

Sexiest Blogger as voted by my readers is ....... drum roll ....  http://www.bigfashionista.co.uk/

Best Impersonation on a blog is unsurprisingly the talented and handsome  http://fudgecrumpet.wordpress.com/

And the award for  Mid-Life Blog Crisis - for bloggers who change blogs more than once a year goes to ...who else ... http://www.notsupermum.com/

Full details for those that missed all the nominees are here

Night Stalker

I awoke this morning to a better email even than the one I received on Sunday to tell me I had won the lottery! (£55 since you are wondering). An email to tell me that my favourite blogger, blood drinker, and undead writer Jonathon8 had blogged (and tweeted)  again after a long absence. (295 days – but if I told you that it may make me seem like a bigger stalker than he is)

So now I cannot concentrate, I’m wondering where has he been? Who has he been with? Where has he fed? Is he ‘well’? (whatever passes for healthy among the undead.) and more importantly, why is he back?

If you have never seen his blog, take a read, start at the beginning, trust me, he is a vampire that most definitely does not sparkle.

The one where I rant a bit about reviews

This post is sure to mean I am never approached by a company to review a product ever again. But that is not my intention.

I opened my Google Reader to read 11 new posts yesterday and they were all reviews. All of them, every one. 

And that made me think. 

I do not follow any review blogs or company blogs, I follow (vomits at use of phrase) mummy bloggers, and a few daddy bloggers and a few other personal blogs. I read them for the chit chat, the anecdotes, the mundanities of life that oddly seem either comforting or hilarious when put into a blog. If I want a review I go to amazon, or a review site, or I google it. Now before you all shout, yes I know, I have reviewed things here. I reviewed some Nakd bars (they were yum) and a mysterious magical toothbrush (it was amazingly effective) , I reviewed Vosene (more than once) and I reviewed a Nokia Smart Phone. So I am not immune to the lure of the 'freebie' and lets be honest, who doesn't like something for nothing!?!

But I at least try to be honest and I know it's hard to look a gift horse in the mouth; of course this means reviews of freebies tend to be good, many are glowing, does this convince me they are great products? not really? so is the advert (for gentle reader, that is what these reviews are) really even working?

I will post here and on twitter if I find something I love, whether I'm asked to or not, whether I am sent a freebie or not. And I will accept things to try, and then review them if they are something I would normally use or try and I will be honest.

I think the main thing about adverts is, that like the television, they need to be short, and spaced between quality programs because if not, the blog just turns into one long ad break, and I for one find the urge to fast forward....

Maybe this is not a popular view? maybe you love to find new things via a review on a friends blog? Do you blog reviews? Do you set yourself limits?  Do comment below and let me know.

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The Totally Truthful Memetastic Award

It appears I have been tagged. By someone I thought was a friend, now I wonder.....

thanks Julie although maybe she's not entirely to blame, after all, she was tagged by  Jillsmo

with this silly meme

and here are the rules

1. You must proudly display the absolutely disgusting graphic that I have created for these purposes (put it in your post, you don’t have to put it in your sidebar, I think that would seriously be asking too much). It’s so bad that not only did I use COMIC SANS, but there’s even a little jumping, celebrating kitten down there at the bottom.It’s horrifying! But its presence in your award celebration is crucial to the memetastic process we’re creating here. If you need a higher resolution version… I totally have one!!
2. You must list 5 things about yourself, and 4 of them must be bold-faced lies. Just make some shit up, we’ll never know; one of them has to be true, though. Of course, nobody will ever know the difference, so we’re just on the honor system here. I trust you. Except for the 4 that you lied about, you lying bastards! But don’t go crazy trying to think of stuff.
3. You must pass this award on to 5 bloggers that you either like or don’t like or don’t really have much of an opinion about. I don’t care who you pick, and nobody needs to know why. I mean, you can give a reason if you want, but I don’t really care.”

so with out further ado, have a guess

1. I once came home from a 'vicars and tarts' party on the tube and was propositioned by someone who thought I was a prostitute.
2. I am really a man, but I blog and tweet as a woman because it's easier and more acceptable to make friends that way. The photos I post are my wife, and our daughter.
3. I'm allergic to carnations.
4. I was once caught having sex with my boyfriend in some woods, by an old man walking his dog.
5. I was a competitor on the Chris Moyles Show's phone in game 'Car Park Catchphrase' but I didn't win.

so now I can tag...and I tag

Mamacrow   cos I love her

Marley the dog! cos he is funnier than funny

Not Drowning Mothering the blog that makes me wee laughing

Very Bored in Catalunya because she is lovely

Christine at Thinly Spread just because