Breastfeeding - my experience

Almost 18 years ago now I had a baby. As all mums will tell you, it feels like it was yesterday, they grow so fast. What is it they say? 'The days are long but the years are short' ? Yes that sums up parenthood. Tiring, exhausting, but ultimately amazing and it's all gone in a blink and they are adults themselves.

When I became pregnant I decided I wanted to do everything naturally, or as natural as possible, though I didn't want a home birth. I felt that if everything went well then hospital would be OK and they could do the clean up, and if things went badly, I'd have the support I needed.


I also decided that I wanted to breastfeed my baby. At the time the advice was exclusive for 4 months and then introduce solids but keep breastfeeding alongside for as long as possible. (current World Health Oganisation advice can be found here) That all sounded fine to me and so I didn't buy and bottles, no formula, no sterilising kits. Nothing. I had boobs and I didn't need anything more.


The birth (a water birth) was easy and fairly swift, less than 12 hours. And DD (darling daughter)  was born with a shock of dark hair, eyes to fall into, like deep pools and a gaze with the knowledge of centuries, as babies tend to have. I was instantly in love and started feeding withing minutes of birth. Text book stuff, I stayed in hospital overnight and the midwives checked on my (and her) latch positioning regularly, they asked how things were, checked I was feeding on demand and were just lovely. The midwife that helped deliver her showed me the 'rugby ball hold' as DD preferred to feed on one side and Dave (the midwife) worried I'd get lopsided!


After 48 hours or so I went home and everything was fine, DD slept and ate and was as cute as the cutest button. Life was dreamy.

On day 5 after the birth I woke to discover my milk had 'come in'. What a misleading phrase, it conjures flowing rivers of creamy goodness when in reality it means your tits, whilst looking like a porn stars are suddenly rock hard and tender, engorged and not in a good way! Baby DD found her latch was no longer easy, she looked at me accusingly, suddenly she couldn't feed, and so she wailed. I wailed too. Hearing her wail my body cheerfully created more milk! I hurt! I wailed more, DD wailed. My poor husband looked on helplessly. After 12 hours things had got worse, not better and I was terrified that DD would die of thirst (I had no idea how resilient babies are!) I was hysterical, she was purple in the face from screaming and my husband said he was going to buy bottles and formula right away.


I broke down, felt like a failure, torn between not wanting to give up and feeding my child! Luckily I'm really stubborn. So instead of letting him go for formula I said we should phone the labour ward, they had said we could phone for any reason, at any time (it was now 10pm) I rang, they said to come straight in. And so we did.


The loveliest nurses and midwives in the world took DD for a walk around the ward to calm her (and, looking back on it maybe to give her a sly drink!) while another midwife made me tea and calmed me down. Then they brought a now calmer DD back in and helped her get a grip, it felt like they just held her head against my boob until she had no choice but to suck! But maybe it was more subtle than that.

Whatever they did it worked, she glugged (you could hear her glugging!) and emptied both breasts. Poor hungry baby - she then slept for about 8 hours. We went home and after that we didn't look back. DD continued breastfeeding as and when until she was 4 months when she was keen to eat! She raced up the centiles chart (chubster!) and then gradually settled when she started eating food. She continued to breastfeed until she was 10 months old, when she self weaned having discovered cups and food easier that the work needed to breastfeed! Such a cute and lazy baby.



The things I loved about breastfeeding were; the lack of preparation, you want milk, it's there (and no extras to carry when you go out) ; the snuggles, tiny pudgy hands massaging you as baby drinks, like a little kitten; the cheapness, I didn't buy bottles, or sterilisers; the supposed health benefits were just a bonus if I'm honest


My experience of breastfeeding was fabulous. I want other mums to know it can be great, and support can be great too - never be afraid to ask. If I hadn't had help I might have given up on day 5! I felt like a failure but mum's shouldn't, there is no reason you should be good at it! It's a skill and both you and baby have to learn. Take your time, get help, enjoy.

And if you don't breastfeed? That time is gone in a blink anyway - enjoy every precious second with your child.

Breastfeeding on demand...the demand of £200

Where to start.

Twitter is all of a twitter about a trial taking place in the UK to try and increase breastfeeding rates among 'deprived' families (its always 'deprived' families isn't it? I'm never quite sure what that means, poor? badly educated? both?) You would think that this would be a good thing. But I fear that the way the trial team are going about it and the reaction from almost everyone means it is not a good idea at all.

Me with DD

The plan is to give mothers £200 of vouchers for a supermarket if they continue to breastfeed for 6 months. Leaving aside the issues around mothers or babies that cannot breastfeed, how would this even be policed? Would a health visitor take your word for it? Search the house (maybe using trained sniffer dogs) to hunt out tins of SMA? Test the baby like an athlete in training for 'banned substances'? "I'm sorry Mrs Brown your baby has tested positive for Aptamil" Watch you feed? A very weird situation whatever.

And what of the actual idea, that £200 would make you change the way you fed your baby. Most mothers I know made a choice based on knowledge and support at the time. £200 would not have made me NOT breastfeed, and when I asked twitter mothers that didn't breastfeed agreed that it wouldn't have made them do it. What many many mothers said was that more support would have helped them keep feeding. Places to feed in public, health visitors and midwives that didn't just suggest a bottle when feeding was difficult, someone to sit with them while they fed, someone to help with housework or look after the other children so they could feed in peace. A LAW preventing comments when they did decide to feed in public (well done Scotland)

Radio 4 interviewed a few women in London and none of them thought it was a good idea, all thought it wouldn't change what they did, and many thought extra help and support would be a better use of the money.

And of course many people think it is unfair. The NHS has already used cash incentives to get people to stop smoking and to lose weight. It seems that taking an unhealthy option gets you cash! (not that not breastfeeding is unhealthy obviously) What next? You get to the drive thru at Mc Donald's and a voice says "What meal would you like sir? or would you prefer to just have the £10 from the government for eschewing junk food?" What of all the parents that are struggling to do their best and are not given £200.

And the silliest thing is that breastfeeding is its own financial reward!! You don't need to eat much more to make milk (in fact eating well but normally will get you back into shape quicker) Formula is expensive as are bottles and sterilising equipment. Breastfeeding is almost free!

As to the whole issue of women's bodies...I'm a very pro breastfeeding sort of woman but it is your body! To be bribed with £200 to do something you didn't want to? Imagine being told "women now to be paid £50 for having sex with their husband when he's keen but they are not in the mood"? (actually I bet some of you are already choosing new shoes based on that idea...but anyway)

It's all wrong.

The UK has the lowest breastfeeding rates in the WORLD according to the Dr on Radio 4 this morning. We need a change in attitudes and support, not cash.

Programs on TV like 'Health Freaks' where Dr Pixie squeals "ooh breast milk has a bit of a yuk factor doesn't it" while cringing at the idea of a man drinking breast milk don't help! It's MILK, you drink milk for COWS, that you have never met and had coffee with so why get all fussed at a woman you know providing milk?

We need to get a grip. Women make milk, it's our super power. We should support all women, including

those that choose not to use that super power. Women need help, support and kindness not cash to help us be better mothers. We are all being the best mothers we can be, don't alienate groups of us. Breastmilk or formula, a happy baby and a happy mum is what we should aim for.

I'm glad this is only a trial. We shall see what effect it has but I hope all factors are taken into account and that maybe a trial of extra help and support is run alongside it.

What do you think? Would £200 have changed your mind? Do 'poor' mothers really need that £200 or would explaining the natural savings be enough? How bribe-able are you?

If you are struggling with breastfeeding you may find this link helpful.

Wean me gently, a poem about breastfeeding..................

This is a poem by Cathy Cardall it was brought to my attention by @radicalactivist -  and I love it and wanted to share! (it made me all weepy at the end)

Wean me gently

I know I look so big to you,

Maybe I seem too big for the needs I have.

But no matter how big we get,

We still have needs that are important to us.

I know that our relationship is growing and changing,

But I still need you. I need your warmth and closeness,

Especially at the end of the day

When we snuggle up in bed.

Please don't get too busy for us to nurse.

I know you think I can be patient,

Or find something to take the place of a nursing;

A book, a glass of something,

But nothing can take your place when I need you.

Sometimes just cuddling with you,

Having you near me is enough.

I guess I am growing and becoming independent,

But please be there.

This bond we have is so strong and so important to me,

Please don't break it abruptly.

Wean me gently,

Because I am your mother,

And my heart is tender.