Rant, moan, rant - are we too whiney?

So a heated exchange on twitter about a  blog post I retweeted and a question I asked a week earlier have led to this post.

I had wondered if we get a skewed view of a company due to bloggers being more likely to post negative ranty (haha pot kettle etc) posts than cheerful ones about events, products etc. So I Asked bloggers what they were more likely to write about.

A few bloggers did admit they were more likely to rant or at least to write more in a ranty post, than they did in a happy one. I certainly know from experience that writing angry is easier than writing happy!

(Picture Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos )

Most bloggers also said they would usually contact the company first and give them chance to redress any issues. And of course people might blog that a bad day out was saved by a great company response…or not.

I have blogged about dreadful service in restaurants, rudeness of car drivers, and probably other things I can’t remember. I’ve also blogged about fabulous festivals, great camping trips, and lovely staff on holidays with DD.

It was suggested that ‘moaning is done for the sake of it’ and ‘people should lower their expectations and be happy’.  While obviously sometimes people can moan about trivia and should indeed be taking a critical step back and looking at the bigger picture, on the whole bloggers I’ve read have used a ranty post as a last resort (or a warning to others!) after all else has failed. In my opinion complaining about genuine poor service, faulty products, and a lack of comment from a company is essential, if we just accept whatever we are given at whatever price we will be given worse for more money! Companies are in the business of selling, the customer has a right to expect a reasonable deal and the company expects a profit. No one suggests the old adage that ‘the customer is always right’ anymore, but companies should certainly ensure the customer is at the very least fairly treated and politely dealt with.

What is your experience? Do you moan more than praise? Do you think it’s right to complain or are we becoming a moaning culture where we expect perfection in every case?

I’d love to know what you think.

Thanks to the bloggers on twitter that answered my original questions, and to those that sparked an interesting debate.

Violence and Rage - a ranty outburst

So for ages I have no idea what to blog about and now today I'm so ranty I can't focus enough to rant properly!

Ugh! Newspapers. All year people online whinge and moan about how inaccurate the reporting is of a demonstration, or a new law or a celebrities weight or what ever. "The papers lie!" they shriek, foam flicking from rabidly angry lips and keyboards juddering with hammered keys from angry fingers, "The papers only tell half the story, they are twisting it, it's not true!" and you know, I tend to agree. Newspapers, whatever they may claim are not really a public service, they are a business, they are in the business of selling and due  to the general prurient and vile nature of humans (of which I am one) repulsive stories sell better than nice ones. Huffinfgton Post have a 'Good News' Section and lets be honest it feels a bit forced.

Anyway suddenly the 'Nigella story' hits the front page (no links - for various reasons, you've either seen it or you haven't)  and everyone not only believes every word but they add their own take on what 'obviously happened'. Really? Really really? I wasn't there, I didn't see, maybe you did, but the people that weren't  have decided what is right and wrong, and suddenly the newspaper they clutch is the holy grail of truth. And worse, men are suggesting 'well he needs a good kicking!' does he? Does he? Really because if you are so sure that meting out violence to someone that 'deserves it' is the right thing to do how can you ever complain about violence? After all 'maybe they deserve it'!

Of course no one 'deserves' violence. Violence is not a good thing, be it domestic, government or gang crime, if you think violence is the answer I think you should rethink the question. I just want people to take a breath, think, raising the subject of domestic violence (as this 'incident' has done) can of course only be a good thing. But we must remember newspapers might have an agenda, and rage sells.

Now to try and stop raging

If you have been affected by Domestic Violence, don't forget you can call The National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247

Manners Maketh Man

On Saturday I went to the Post Office to post a parcel. I queued with everyone else while only one window was open for service. All very British (and polite) we waited with hardly a murmur. Twenty minutes passed and a second window was opened. The lady in front of me went to be told her passport application was filled in incorrectly and would be rejected

• an aside here, how is this possible? How can you fill in a passport application wrongly? I've filled in many, from the age of about 19, I'm not a genius. I've filled in forms for adult and child passports. They come with clear instructions, and a whole sheet about photos and signatures. How hard is it to understand 'do not write outside the box' or 'use a clear X in black pen only' sheesh people you don't deserve a passport.

anyway *removes judges wig* she was given a long explanation of the million and one things she had failed at and still we all waited. Finally a window was free, it was my turn! There was no trendy announcement system in this little post office so i headed to the window to be told, tersely "I haven't actually called anyone yet, you will have to wait" 
Now I don't know why I didn't ask if he was always that rude or if today was a special day, but what's wrong with "I'll be with you in a minute" and a smile.
I was told off! Told off for being a customer, who had waited (politely remember) for nearly half an hour to post a parcel!

I waited, finally he asked what I wanted.

"I would like to send this parcel, first class please"
 "Do you want it guaranteed to arrive Monday?"
 "Oh I don't know, how much is that? "
"£6.99"
".....and how much is first class?"
" ...£3"
"erm, no then first class is fine, thank you" he grumbled something, took parcel and money and I left.

Later I offered some things on Freecycle, One item was brand new, still in box, worth about £15. I thought I'd have a few replies and I was right, but I was unprepared for the tone.

Actual Replies

• can you deliver to (with address)
• have you still got
• can pick up now (about 3 of these)
• yes please (more than 5 like this)
• when can i collect

Now the thing is this was the ENTIRE message, no corrections, notice there is no 'hello' no sign off with name etc amazing! And RUDE!

When did this being rude become a thing? I know I sound like Victor Meldrew but politeness is the oil that helps society keep going without grinding to an aggressive halt. It seems to be the norm today for parents to not 'force' a child to say 'sorry' or 'please' or 'thank you' under the grounds that there is no point if it doesn't mean anything. But I think it does have a purpose, it keeps people calm, politeness helps in a society that is overcrowded, like dogs lowering their tails in a pack, we need to be polite. It is important.

 Image credit: icetray / 123RF Stock Photo

I finished my day angry (and ranty hence this blog) no doubt with blood pressure raised. Of course you could argue that's my problem, but shouldn't we all be looking out for each other? Shouldn't society want to remain peaceful? If saying 'sorry' or 'thank you' can diffuse a situation why not say it? It doesn't cost anything. But not saying it might be costing society as a whole.

What do you think? Is politeness important? Do you teach it to your children?

You know what annoys me?...

stream of annoyance follows...

• People that don't indicate, especially at roundabouts, I'm not a mind reader - bloody signal
• People that stop in a slip road when they don't need to, learn to drive! stop shilly shallying about, get on with it!
• Bum cleavage, on men or women, looks vile, and I bet your kidneys are cold, learn to dress yourself and work out what size you actually are.
• People wearing clothes that are too small, it doesn't make you look skinnier it makes you look fatter, wear the right size, or diet back into the smaller ones.
• Leggings that are actually tights and therefore see through. just *vomit* blergh, wear leggings, or wear a dress/shorts and tights. Don't go out in just tights, hideous
• Uggs. Shuffling horrors that get soggy and worn at the sides in minutes, grubby monstrosities
• Wearing PJs outside the home. No excuse unless you are on your way to A&E. 
• The media creating bandwagons for idiots to leap on, heck we all leap on them. Stop pre-judging crimes. Let the courts do it.
• Facebook.
• People that don't clean up after their dogs - I'd rub their noses in it to teach them a lesson
• Parents that swear at small children
• TV commercials
• Unnecessarily huge cars
• Smart phone battery life (or lack of it - it isn't any use being smart if you are asleep when i need you)
• People that can't leave a public toilet (or any toilet!) clean for the next person.
• Fridges that appear full and yet have NOTHING you fancy eating in them
• Instant coffee, especially when it is called 'coffee' as in "would you like a coffee?" so that you have to ask "is it real or instant?" then you look like a coffee snob (which I am) you wouldn't offer a cup of instant tea without mentioning it was instant! (and yes there is instant tea, and yes it is a nasty as it sounds)
• Luke warm milk. (unless you are getting it direct from the source milk should be ice cold)
• Misleading labels on food like "fresh" or "light" or "low fat" or "green"  most of them are meaningless (what is 'fresh' all about? as opposed to 'stale'?) Low fat is almost always high in sugar, and low salt can have more salt than another brand.
• Wasps
• Stuff women are supposed to do to be 'pretty' or even just 'women'; shaving legs, painting nails, shaving underarms, wearing up thrust bras, make up, false eyelashes, high heels, hair conditioner, hair dye, wearing jewellery... I don't mind doing some of them some of the time but give us a break! It's not essential to life!
• Getting old
• 80's fashions being 'in' again, and remembering them from the first time round and knowing they were dreadful even then
• Not being allowed to be naked when we want to be 
• Intolerance where it doesn't affect you, like racism or homophobic or being anti-gay marriage, or anti religion
• Poor grammar (Sod's law states I have made at least 13 grammatical errors in this blog post - I'm talking about genuinely not having a clue not the odd mistake)
• The loss of innocence as kids grow up - it's all over so quickly

• Vegetarians (just kidding - wanted to see if you were still awake)
• and lastly? judgemental people ...yeah yeah I know - *puts self on naughty step*

LOCOG - Crushing the Dream, one day at a time

I was really excited about the Sports even that shall not be named. Not at first I admit, but gradually I came round to realising that it was going to be a historic event, something good in a  time of recession. I stopped worrying about how much it would cost and concentrated on what it would achieve. 

Sport would be highlighted in schools. Kids and young athletes would be encouraged. The Paralympics would show disabled people in a positive light, moving them away from the 'benefit scrounger' image they seem to have gained.

The Ticket 'lottery' was horrible. It felt weird, and unfair, to order more tickets than you needed? or to just order what you required and risk disappointment? To order in some kind of 'double guessing' way by selecting sports that you imagine to be 'unpopular' ... but what if everyone did that? To order in the highest price band or the lowest? It was a nightmare and in the end I ordered the cheapest options in what I wanted to see and only what I could afford.

I was one of the lucky few it seems as I got nearly all the tickets I applied for! So the excitement grew again. The thought of seeing top athletes in a massive new arena  or pool, cheering on my country with DD at my side.

Kindly donated by @Kungpofanda at Twitter

The  transport looked like it might be tricky. We live close to London (an hour on the train) but even so the journeys seems long and complicated, we were advised to leave 'extra time' so I did. I booked the tickets on the train even though they cost more than the tickets. I felt smug and organised.

And then the emails started...and the texts telling me to read and observe the rules in the emails ... "or else you may not see your event". That sounded ominous and threatening. 

Suggestions to arrive TWO HOURS earlier than the event, after I had purchased tickets (planning to arrive 30 minutes early) Suddenly an early morning train journey became a dawn/milk train journey - 5.14am for an event that starts at 9am. And then the searches, the rules on 'excessive' food (what is excessive? who decides how many maltesers is acceptable?) the ban on liquids, on large flags, umbrellas, kittens. Where was the fun? Where was the excitement?

And now missiles on roofs of ordinary peoples flats ('you are at no danger' they are told - 'so why the missiles and armed guards then?' I would reply) A lack of security from the company PAID and CONTRACTED to provide them. Soldiers brought in from our troops aroud the world to patrol a sporting event! Allegations of free tickets to top events for the great and 'good'...., And finally the crown, we can no longer even mention the games (and possibly the year, the word summer or the metalic colour of the medals) without getting sued..

I admit, I'm losing the love. I want to get the love back. I want the Sports Event that cannot be named to feel like a Sporting Event of a Lifetime, not a War.


Toy Soldier Picture Credit : National Museum of Play Online Collections

edited to add  the no kittens pic

In which our hero rants (again) this time about about song lyrics...

I don't know about you but for a me a song is more about the lyrics than the tune. I'd say 70% lyrics to 30% music maybe. The lyrics need not be cheerful, or even 'nice' but I like them to make sense and be reasonable. I love the song by Eminem about a horrible subject, a song of domestic abuse of both parties caught in a hideous cycle of harm, of a man lying to himself, knowing he can't stop and woman caught up with confusion as to what is pain and what is love, the subject is horrible but the lyrics and the entire song are beautiful, so tragic. My favourite song of all time is 'If you go away' and I prefer the Marc Almond version, I love the song of loss and of love, a song that realises that sometimes people leave and if they do then you will be sad....

But a song of late, that is getting right up my nose, is the current UK number 1 (good grief!) by Bruno Mars. He just doesn't get it does he? He sounds like a stalker in this song! he sounds like a freak, a weirdo a truly scary person to know, and I don't care how catchy the tune is, the lyrics frankly scare me! Let's analyse them a bit.

Easy come, easy go
That's just how you live, oh > OK her choice I guess, a fairly laid back young lady.
Take, take, take it all,
But you never give
Should of known you was trouble from the first kiss, > OK so you knew she wasn't for you from the 1st but you gave it a bash anyway
Why were they open?
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked,> well you can ask to be loved but you know you can't force someone to love you, she obviously thought you were fun and that was all.
Cause what you don't understand is > and here we get weird
I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) >ignoring your blatant use of 'ya' when you mean 'you' (I'd dump you for that alone) you sound a tad odd, where would you see us, and in what situation that you'd need to catch a grenade? are you taking me to Afghanistan?
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) > self harming is not big or clever, what is the point of this weird offer?
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah) > inconvenience hundreds of commuters for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) . except take 'I don't want to go out with you any more' as a clear indication of my feelings it seems
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain, . that you are creating! no one else, just you you idiot!
Take a bullet straight through my brain, > in the light of what recently happened in the US this is just crass and bad taste
Yes, I would die for ya baby; > by this part of the song I'm actually wishing you would, maybe it would shut you up!
But you won't do the same > no because she's got some sense! She doesn't want to go out with you - move on!

No, no, no, no
Black, black, black and blue beat me till I'm numb > don't tempt me
Tell the devil I said “hey” when you get back to where you're from
Mad woman, bad woman,
That's just what you are, yeah,
You’ll smile in my face then rip the brakes out my car . give her some credit she is trying to rid herself of this obsessive stalker..
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash

(chorus - I won't make you suffer it again)

If my body was on fire, ooh
You’ d watch me burn down in flames > while dancing and singing and rejoicing that she no longer needs the restraining order
You said you loved me you're a liar . no she just realised what a freak you actually were
Cause you never, ever, ever did baby...
(whining til fade)

Ranty Ranty Rant (in which our hero rants)

So NetMums has annoyed me. An article in the news says that they did a survey and mothers admitted to ‘lying’ about how much quality time they spend with their kids, what they cook and feed their children and how much TV they allow kids to watch. Etc etc

The reason for this lying is apparently to keep up with other parents, and the moral is that we can all relax as everyone is lying.

This makes me angry on 2 counts. Number 1 is pretty obvious to anyone that knows me and it’s because I don’t lie, and neither does my hubby, I include him because he’s the stay at home parent in our house, he’s the one that cooks DDs meals from scratch (I recently taught him Bolognese sauce! LOL) and he’s the one that sits with DD to do homework, the one that helps, encourages and listens while she practices her clarinet. I’m the one that drives her to horse riding, bakes muffins with her, takes her to her music lessons ( and yes, I admit it – we have middle class pursuits and you know what? I don’t care!) which leads me on to the second reason it annoys me. (to be fair, it annoys NetMums too and it’s part of what the are saying but not all, because they are happy to assume everyone lies, which as I’ve pointed out, they don’t!)

I’m annoyed because of the reason parents supposedly feel compelled to lie. Once again it’s to feel good about themselves. Parents that lie are lying because they see their parenting as substandard, and they lie to sound closer to the ideal parent. Well here is a newsflash

THERE IS NO PERFECT PARENT

Really, we are all learning and all our kids are different , we, and they, are all individuals. Maybe your kid watches TV from when they get in until bedtime every day, maybe you are a vegetarian and they only eat organic, maybe you breastfed for 6 years or you formula fed from birth, maybe you work and your kid goes to breakfast club, maybe your 11yo has a TV in the bedroom or you have no TV in the house. IT DOESN’T MATTER!! We all love our kids, we all do the best we can for them and for us. As Janet street Porter said today on Radio 4 “There is your way and there is the wrong way” there is always someone ready to bash your choices, always a ‘study’ somewhere to show you are ‘parenting wrongly’ so get a grip, DON’T LIE be proud that you are a parent, a parent who may struggle, may yell, may use the TV as a babysitter so you can get time for a shower, a parent that may (shock) allow a toddler to share your bed because it means you all get to sleep. Whatever you do, if it works for you and your child be proud of it! Stop lying! 

Admit you are awesome. You are mainly awesome because you read to the end of this ranty piece of crap. Now like my Facebook page and you will explode with awesomeness

How old is too old? (or 'sniff it and see')

Every now and again on social media someone says they have chucked away a yoghurt 3 days past the 'use by' date, or asks if bread 2 days past the sell by date is OK to eat or........well you get the idea. They want to know if they can safely consume an item of food that seems to be saying  

NO! DON'T EAT ME, YESTERDAY I WAS FINE 

BUT TODAY I AM FILLED WITH POISONOUS BACTERIA 

THAT WILL KILL YOU IN AN INSTANT 

WITH PAIN YOU CAN ONLY IMAGINE 

or something like that anyway.

I am old enough to know that expiry dates are a fairly new invention. Yes young people you read that right, we have not always been told when food is 'past it's best'. For hundreds, indeed thousands of years we used our own judgement! We looked at things, smelled them, touched them and decided 'is it still good'? (* when I say 'we' I do not, obviously, mean me! I mean the human race, I'm not thousands of years old, or hundreds come to that!)

And in some cases we still do. While supermarkets may wrap your vegetables in a plastic bag with a sticker proclaiming 'use by 9 Feb 2010' your local green grocer is unlikely to do the same, my local green grocer sells cucumbers, they are long and firm and green and that's it! I have to fondle the cucumber and decide how fresh it is! Is it soft? getting limp? then I'll ask if it's discounted or buy a firmer one! (are you all right? some of you appear a little flushed?)

Likewise my butcher does not put 'use by' dates on his pork products, i have to admire his loins and decide if they are fresh, are they greenish in hue? Do they smell? If not, I'm happy, a pink fresh loin is most women's dream, as are his sausages and his faggots! but I digress.

Until 1973 no stores in the UK used best before dates at all! And it was Marks and Spencer that began the trend purely as a marketing technique, to show how 'fresh' their food was! Of course all other food sellers leapt on to the bandwagon to be sure and keep up with the new trend.

It's true that some foods nowadays are hard to see. How can I tell if a tin of beans is 'fresh' or if a carton of orange juice is? and the simple answer is of course that I can't, like the rest of society I rely to some degree on labelling of the packets, but wouldn't it be easier to tell me when it was packed rather than a use by date? When I bake a cake I estimate how long it will last (bad example - 10 minutes in my house) by the date it was baked and then I use judgement.

When I open a loaf of bread and it had a patch of mould on it, I tear off the blue bit and toast the bread! I only throw away the whole loaf if it's more mould than loaf or if the flavour is totally tainted. Marmite can disguise a multitude of tastes.

And yoghurt is gone off milk! As is cheese, it can't go off! Sniff it! how does it smell? I've often eaten yoghurts 2 weeks past their 'use by' dates with no ill effects at all. And cheese can usually just have the mould cut off - after all cheddar is often already 24 months old by the time you buy it! So why would another month make any difference?

But I'm not alone, I am aware that many of you eat food that you have judged to be OK. Just remember it's a skill, learn it, pass it on, don't be afraid, trust your instincts.  My good friend Donna on Twitter sent me this handy link to get you started.

And don't come crying back here if you get sick.


Remember that this advice is just from a boring old person, not anyone clever and don't take risks with the elderly, the very young or the infirm. (No testing mouldy yoghurt out on your granny!)

PS   A website called Love Food Hate Waste perpetuates the myth by saying NEVER eat food past the use by date, which is just silly IMO. They even tell you 'if it looks fine, still throw it away!  I still say that for cheese and many other products this is ridiculous.


If you would like to buy some out of date food to practice on - look here for some cheap deals. Yes indeedy, an online retailer that specialises in old food!

Too angry and upset to type much

This story about how a women would not be able to look after her own baby made me so sad and so angry I don't even know where to begin. (social workers can now predict the future based on no evidence at all it seems?)

but I had hoped that when the baby was born all would be well, she'd be given support and the family would prove doubters wrong. Seems I'm too optimistic, she didn't even have a chance, due to MILD learning difficulties Kerry Robertson has had her baby taken away at a few days old (when she was trying to breastfeed exclusively as is recommended by WHO) and now can only see him every other day.

You can read more for yourself here. But if you are a parent (or even a teeny bit caring) I suggest you have tissues to hand and maybe a stress ball or punchbag!

Even if this does get sorted out and baby Ben is returned to his parents, he has missed out on vital feeding days, and his family have been traumatised and will be affected for life. I am ashamed, ashamed that this can happen in a country that claims to care about people. I am praying for her and her family because right now I don't know how else to help. (suggestions welcomed)

The couple have been allowed to see their son for two hours every other day.

Miss Robertson said: ‘Holding him made me upset all over again. I’ve told the social workers I don’t want him to have bottled milk or a dummy. I feel breastfeeding is so important and at least then he is still having some of me.’

If this had happened abroad say in India we'd all be saying, "oh but that's because they are not like us, not caring, not a state with money to help" etc etc

and oddly India does indeed seem different to us just look here

“Initially, we were concerned about the way the mother would react. But surprisingly, she is taking good care of her child. She has become very active, lively, mature and cheerful. Earlier, she used to be a depressed and quiet person,” Ratnam said. “Also, she very well realises the fact that Pari is her child. The name Pari was suggested by her only. She is very attached to her.”

A great debate on the rights of the FATHER in this case here