Gross books for gross kids

OK the title to this post is a tad misleading. While the books may be gross I don't think kids are, but they do all seem to go through phases of being fascinated with things that, as adults, we have been conditioned to see as 'not nice' or 'not to be talked about' so it's a jolly good thing that some books are around that cover these subjects to help us squeamish adults cope with life, and kids.

I have just been rereading Snuff: (Discworld Novel 39) (Discworld Novels)by Sir Terry Pratchett and Vimes's son Sam is fascinated with poo and dirt throughout the book, which made me think about children's books that we had loved..

So here are my suggestions for 'gross books' based on books that DD had a smaller person, and that we both really enjoyed, because you know what? Poo IS funny!

Dr Dog - Babette Cole
A book about a family dog that happens to also be a Dr. He struggles with his family as they are rather silly and at times quite disgusting, sharing hairbrushes, scratching their bums and farting far too loudly. Along the way Dr Dog teaches small children some hygiene tips and gives us all a laugh, he also gets rather exhausted...poor Dr Dog

Drop Dead - Babette Cole
Another book by the same author looking at the stark fact that however exciting and wonderful (or not) our lives may be, we will all suffer the same fate in the end and just Drop Dead. Tackled with love and humour this is a funny book for small children. It only tackles death due to old age, and does have a weird reincarnation hint at the end, but is simple and funny. As always with Babette's books the artwork is lovely.

The story of the little mole who knew it was none of his business -
This was bought for DD when she was small and soon became a firm favourite at bedtime. A mole finds himself in the unfortunate position of being pooed upon. Having poor eyesight he is not sure of the culprit so he sets off to find out, and to exact his revenge. On the way he explores many types of poo. Poo lovers will enjoy this book, and will find it invaluable on trips to farms to help identify poop.

Here Comes the Poo Bus - Andy Stanton
A Bus is coming to take the insects to the seaside! The bus is made of poo so who could resist? A totally gross story in rhyme of a trip to the seaside, some laugh out loud moments, some truly horrible illustrations and a rather dark ending make this a hilarious read for all!

There are many other poop themed books for small children, but I cannot say I have read them all!
Books about Poop

But what about wee I hear you ask! I'm glad you raised that point!

Why not have a read of :

Father Christmas needs a wee -Nicholas Allan
In which Father Christmas tries to deliver presents before he goes to the loo. Any child who has hopped about declaring they don't need the loo yet will be able to appreciate Santa's predicament...will he be in time? Read this rhyming book out load for tense chuckles and to find out the answer! But don't laugh too hard!

I want my Potty! (Little Princess)  -
Any parent who has run through the house with a potty will  be cringing along with the story in this book. The Princess needs her potty, but where is it? and where is she? Who is in charge and can they get the potty to her before it's too late?

Mummy Laid and Egg - Babette Cole
And last but by no means least - my favourite book ever about sex. A manual for everyone, from 3 years and up. Take care with the ways 'mummies and daddies fit together' some of the ways are not for the faint hearted...or those with poor balance. The perfect book to teach children where babies come from.

Have I missed any books that you love that are slightly (or even very) gross? Do let me know in the comments.

Meanwhile I'm off to read my book (yes I really have a copy, and yes it is full of glossy photos of poo)

Post contains Amazon affiliate links - if you buy a book via these links I get a small percentage, and it costs you nothing.

Let your Kids Be Bored This Christmas

Seeing so many parents struggling to entertain their children during the (short) Christmas holidays I feel I need to let you all into a secret, you don't have to entertain children for every waking minute.

Photo Copyright: denisfilm / 123RF Stock Photo

Now don't get me wrong, planning things to do with your kids is great, it's fun and can be a lovely treat for you all. A panto at Christmas or a drive round to look at the Christmas lights followed by hot chocolate and marshmallows at a cafe, a snuggly afternoon with a family Christmas movie, even doing some crafty decorations, are all fun and to be recommended, but the times in between do not need to be filled with ideas.

Children have rooms full of toys, books and things to do (in most cases - and certainly in the families I see asking online for ideas!) and so they should be allowed to be bored, they whine a bit, the whinge a bit and they mooch a bit until they find something to do. It is an important skill to learn to amuse yourself, to learn that you can be responsible for creating fun times and creating exciting things to do in your own life, all by yourself.

No parent wants to create a needy, child, who may well grow into a demanding and entitled adult so lets try and pull back on the idea we need to fill each waking moment of a child's life with scheduled activities. It's easy to fall into that trap, I've done it myself, "Bored with colouring? Let's try a jigsaw!" "Finished the jigsaw, let's build a train track" "Trains not fun any more? Let's make a rocket from toilet roll tubes" But it's not necessary and it's not even helpful.

Pinterest should bear a bit of the blame I'm sure, filling parents heads with perfect playrooms and wonderful elaborate craft ideas, telling you to have 'ideas jars' with all sorts of fun and educational projects inside, written on slips of colourful paper to be snatched up when the children are all out of ideas of their own, but take a step back, slow down...

When I was a kid in the long summer holidays (from memory, summer holidays lasted about 20 years) I might have one or two days out to a zoo or the park, or a picnic in the woods. We might even have a week's holiday if I was lucky; but the majority of the holiday was spent outside playing, on my bike, in the garden, round a mate's house. And when the weather wasn't up to that, then playing in my room, reading, or  making up stories and games with dolls, playing shops in the kitchen, playing schools with my blackboard and chalks and rows of serious faced dolls, or colouring and drawing, making little story books, or card games.

None of these activities was scheduled or suggested by anyone (I did not draw ideas out of an ideas jar!) . You sat around, you got bored, and you found ways to fill the time. I can even remember (upon whining "I'm bored") being told that intelligent children are never bored! And really any child intelligent or less so should never be bored, especially in an age of multiple console games, Lego, books, toys, jigsaws, TV, drawing things, painting stuff.....

One of the things I remember very well was 'helping' around the house, joining in with polishing the hall floor, or helping with baking in the kitchen, going to the shops.

And so if your whining child really won't stop, then just throw some other ideas out there "Clean your room then!" "dust the lounge" "Hoover the bedrooms" "Do your homework" "Revise some maths" you'll be amazed how rapidly a child will find almost anything else to do except that.

Do you let your children get bored? How do you deal with whining? Or are you a scheduler?  and what free things are good to do (for all those other schedulers out there)

And if you really must have some ideas, I suggest some free things to do in this post, Falcondale Life Blog has a free holiday planner printable here, and for the crafty among you check out Red Ted Art's blog

But mainly I suggest closing your ears to the whining, make a cup of tea, read a magazine and let them be bored, even just for a couple of hours, they may surprise you.

Which Christmas tree is best, fake or real?

It's the time of year for tree wars. It's like the breastfeeding vs bottle wars but with more tinsel. (unless you are a really flamboyant breast feeder!)  So before everyone starts burning each others trees down in rage I thought I'd do a quick round up of real vs fake Christmas trees.

First The Real Tree:

• It smells of loveliness and the wild outdoors and Christmas
• You don't have to store it between Christmases (a big consideration if you like a largish tree and have little storage space, no loft, garage, shed etc)
• Trees are a renewable crop just like cabbages,(not exactly like cabbages, cabbages are difficult to decorate and trees are really hard to boil)  while they grow they do breathing and stuff that is good for the planet, and they are biodegradable.
• They are pricey though - this year the price of a tree (depending on where you live) varies from £4 a foot to an eye watering £20 a foot!
• They drop needles. Yep, even the non drop varieties, and even if you spray them with non droppy needle spray stuff. Those sharp little needles get everywhere, terrible if you have a crawling baby, merely annoying otherwise (unless you are having naked sex in the lounge under the tree then all bets are off).  Hoover daily, sometimes twice.
• Insects. You might bring them in with the tree or they might decide to live there later. Whatever, it's a party villa for creepy crawlies...but in your lounge.

And the Fake Tree:

• After the initial spend (which can be considerable but often comparable to a real tree, see above) they are reusable so will become cheaper per year with the passing of time. I have an 8 ft tree I bought in 2001 and it's still in use, it cost £50 ( so £50/15 years = £3.30 per year)
• You can get wild colours to match your decor. It's a bit 80s I admit, but you can get trees to match a chic white colour scheme, or a blue Elsa and Frozen themed one...or (probably) a pink Peppa pig themed tree. In the 80s Mr TM and I had a white tinsel tree with pink baubles ... we really are too classy :-/
• They don't drop needles (don't panic, I'm going to try not to just write two lists that contradict each other) They are less mess, you can skip the hoovering.
• You can put them up as early as you like because they will always look the same! They won't get browner or lose needles and look thinner as Christmas approaches, they are as bushy on January 6th as they were on December 1st
• You don't have to trek around to find the perfect tree, after the first year you are sorted, there is the perfect tree. In your loft! (so yeah, you need storage space)
• They need to be 'put together'. Most large trees are in pieces and need some erection, and fluffing (stop that!) to get them to their prime. (DD would like to point out this is great family bonding time...she does the fluffing)

Our 15 year old tree

So there we have it. Trees for Christmas can be real or fake, each have their merits and disadvantages and your personal situation and choice will come to bear on what you get. I honestly don't think there is a right or a wrong answer. We have a fake tree. What sort of tree do you have? I'd love to see it - tweet me a picture at Tattooed Mummy or share a photo on my Facebook page, or comment below. 

What I wanted most as a child

Written for the Post40Bloggers blog prompt Number 82

Something you desperately wanted when you were a child

When I was younger I was terrible at PE. I mean terrible. I had no balance, I was slow; running seemed so easy for everyone else, they made it look simple and fun, they didn't get left behind or fall over and graze their knees. But from about the age that 'Sports' Day' became a huge memory in  my childhood (aged about 9 maybe?) PE day became a day of horror.

I would try all manner of feeble excuses to not take part, faking coughs, sprained ankles, headaches. I would take an age to get changed, volunteer for anything that needed doing that didn't involve actual sport. Fetching the basket balls, handing out and collecting the tabards, setting out the cones...

But Sports' Day itself was a nightmare. Even back in the 70s schools tried to be inclusive, but I didn't qualify to be in any 'proper' races, mine was the ignominy of the 'special' races, full of fat children, wheezing breathless asthma sufferers, and wobbly weak kids, kids like me. And even in these races I did not surge to victory, we stumbled and gasped our way down the 100 yard track like unenthusiastic hamsters, passing the finishing line with the simple joy that it was all over for another year. Nearby the rest of the school waited watching, I imagined them hating us all for being so pathetic.

I didn't join in running games in the playground, I was dreadful at catching a ball. When I turned 12 I briefly enjoyed cross country running, mainly as we all departed at various times, spaced out, there was no way to see how badly you were doing (until arriving back last after the showers were finished and everyone was already in Maths) and you could jog/stumble along the paths in the woodland as slowly as you liked, with no one judging you.(except the aforementioned maths teacher!)

I dabbled with throwing the javelin at age 13 and no one was killed, so I'll take that as a success, but despite my height and long arms I didn't seem to have the strength to fling the javelin very far.

As soon as I was in the sixth form I eschewed sport altogether. Finally I had the power to control my own free time at school and I chose chess. Again I was with the nerds and the geeks, but I was used to it by now, they were my people.

So where is this post going? with its whining and self pity? Well at age 34 I was diagnosed with Charcot-Marie-Tooth (Hereditary Motor and Sensory Neuropathy) and suddenly it all made sense! The weakness, the bad balance, the stumble, the tripping due to foot drop. I wasn't dreadful at sport! I was not bad at all considering I was disabled!

So this post is a reminder to myself. What I desperately wanted as a child was to fit in, to be sporty, to be one of the runners, to be a winner on sports day. But I'd have settled for knowing why, knowing why I was last.

Thank You Letters

The last time I put pen to paper and wrote a thank you letter....hmm let me think...I thanked my best friend for the gift she sent for my 50th but that was a text, I thanked my daughter for my mothers' day gift but I thanked her in person. I thanked my American mate for something she sent but that was an email...no I think the last time I put pen to paper was when I was about 16.

When was the last time you wrote a thank you letter? And do you make your children write them? We have always made DD write cards and letters of thanks (drawing pictures when she was too small to write) and my friends all ensure that I receive a thank you card if I send their child a gift too. But are they really still necessary in today's busy electronic world?

A thank you I received in a recent Amazon delivery!

First things first, I don't usually expect a thank you letter or card if I give the present direct to the recipient. After all, I know they received it and they can say thank you there and then. I do however like a thank you letter if I have posted a gift, and if I receive a gift via the post I ensure I send some sort of thank you as a way of not only showing gratitude, but of letting the sender know that their gift arrived. And when DD was small and had large birthday parties, we ensured every child received a thank you card for coming, and for the gifts they brought.

Lately though I've realised that actually writing the letter may be a bit old fashioned. I'm not a Victorian. I can text, email, tweet, Facebook, Skype ... well you know the drill. So should I still be asking DD to write thank you letters? And should I be doing it too? Or not? I asked a few parenting bloggers if their kids wrote thank you letters:

Katy says "I've never received a thank you card for Christmas, only for a wedding or a new baby. That is fine with me too. I'll get my daughter to say thank you to people when she receives gifts." http://katykicker.com

Stevie says "I always used to mean to do it and bought cards every year just for that purpose, but we've gone 'modern' instead. The boys either text people, email them or give them a quick phone call to say thank you on the day." www.acornishmum.com

Milla says "I always mean to send them. Most years I even handmake thank you cards with my kids before Christmas (my logic being that the writing inside doesn't need to be as fulsome if the card is handmade ) but I hardly ever get round to actually sending the wretched things. Post-Christmas is such a mad time with family birthdays and back to school and calming down hyped-up kids." liveoxfordshire.com

Mary says " I'm old school. If someone had taken the time to send my son a present or give him money then he is writing them a thank you note. I think it's really rude when people don't acknowledge the fact we've given them a present. It doesn't need to be War and Peace, but he does need to make a little effort" http://Over40andamumtoone.com

Naomi says "I send them - usually a postcard of a recent photo of the kids. Mine are 4 and a baby, so at the moment I have "Thank you for my Christmas presents" and then write their names. When they are older they can write them themselves. I think it's polite - - if someone has gone to the effort of getting a gift for them, it's just a thank you. I should add, lots of our friends and family live some distance away, so we don't see them very often." Http://lifebynaomi.com

Louise says "We do thank you cards for birthdays and with Christmas I usually send a photo of the child with the present or a video of them saying thank you as the presents are mostly from family." Http://pinkpearbear.com

Beth says "I've never sent or received a thank you card for Christmas. We do for birthdays but not for Christmas. We are lucky though as usually see all the family who buy gifts so they can say thank you there & then. My Dad always says seeing their reaction is priceless so this means more than a thank you card I guess" http://Twinderelmo.co.uk

Dave (slightly shocked) say "I didn't even know this was a thing! Growing up, I always said thanks to people by ringing them or face to face when I next saw them. I kind of like the sentiment of spending the time to write a letter with / on behalf of Toddler L, but the truth is that we're never going to get around to doing that!" www.thedadventurer.com

Kate agrees with Dave and says "I didn't even know people did this. I was always taught to call or thank people in person, and then later my mum would send a picture of me playing/wearing said present. A lot of our friends live quite a distance away so this is probably going to be an option, however with modern technology you can Skype/FaceTime." Http://Lesbemums.com

Abi says "I always send them. We always sent them as kids so have just continued doing so. Even if we see the person to thank in person, I always follow up with a note. Might take me 6 months to post it, but it goes eventually! I may take a more modern approach of text/email as the kids get older/ we have more!" Www.somethingaboutbaby.co.uk

Sophie says "Writing thank you letters and cards after receiving birthday or Christmas presents was drummed into me at an early age. We HAD to send them, even if we had sent 'thank you' in person or when we had opened the present in front of them. As I got older I got nagged as I tried to explain that saying 'thank you' in person or on the phone should be enough. I can't imagine what the postage costs were! When I talked to friends or my husband about their etiquette most were quite surprised about the letter writing. These days the relatives who used to send a card for any occasion have started barely sending any, probably due to cost of postage and I'm happy to email." http://www.sophieandlily.co.uk

Cat say "I do it for older relatives and distant relations who are 'that type' but now I usually send a quick picture message or short video with a bit of text saying 'thanks for your pressie'" rockandrollpussycat.co.uk

Jayne says "I'm useless at thank you cards. I try and take nice pictures of the kids and the gifts and attach a message saying thank you." http://kidskicksandcloth.com/

Steph says "I always make sure we send thank you cards. I write them and the children sign them (as they are too young to write a whole card). I always find it really rude when I don't get a thank you from others. I'd be more than happy with a text / email/ call but it amazes me that some people don't acknowledge the pressie at all." http://www.hellobabyblog.co.uk

Laura says "With four children and countless gifts, it really isn't feasible for me to get them to write out thank you cards (more so as three are unable to write!). I tend to do a group text or share a post on facebook tagging everyone to say thank you, or if it's an elderly relative we phone them up to say thank you as they seem to expect a more personal thank you." www.fivelittledoves.com

Lucinda says "Once children can write they HAVE to write their own thank you letter whether they have opened it In front of the giver or not. I think they have to think about the thought and action that went into choosing a present for them, and thank accordingly. Old school maybe but we don't want the next generation to lose the art of being able to write a hand written letter!" www.thelondonmummy.com

Claire says "I myself have never sent thank you letters for anything or received, I've rung or texted the person to say thank you and wish them merry Christmas etc as it is important to take a few minutes to show gratitude for the people who've spent their time and money on gifting something thoughtful. I'll definitely be encouraging my little boy to do the same, at the moment while he is so young my partner and I will send a picture of him using the gift and whatsapp it or email it to the person who gifted it or we will say thanks ourselves over the phone but we will definitely be encouraging our little one to do the same. Letters & cards etc takes so much time!" www.dearmummybear.wordpress.com

Lara says "Hmm, maybe I'm old school then! We always send them and making them doubles as a fun wet weather activity! I think it's really important to teach them to thank people for their gifts. However we never receive them from other family members, only from friends Which is a shame. I totally get that modern life is busy and I expect once the boys are older it will be more likely to be a digital thank you but for now it's important we do it in physical form. It also means we take the time to remember whom each gift has come from." www.adventuresofamum.com

Rebecca says "We always thank when the present is received but maybe not after opening it. Oh I am so hopeless at sending thank you cards. I always buy cards to send but keep forgetting!" Http://becster.com

Jennifer says "When my children were tiny I'd make sure thank you cards were sent for every gift, I'd do a crafty afternoon with them get out the glitter and decorate some cards, then I'd write and send them. As they got older and could write themselves this turned into something much more time consuming. Now we'll make and send cards to a few people, such as elderly relatives but if it's someone who's on social media we're more likely to take a photo with the gift and send that to say thank you." Http://www.mymummyspennies.com

Laura says "I love getting thank yous so always make sure we say thank you to people. I write notes for older people that have posted things but younger relatives I'll send a video of the kids saying thank you or type a message or email. I'm not ever so organised though so it is sometimes a while after the event." Www.wafflemama.uk

So it seems we agree that some sort of thank you is in order, we mostly agree that cards and letters are nice (especially for older relatives that may not be as tech savvy) but that it maybe we are moving into a digital era where a 'Thank you Youtube clip' might soon take the place of a card - what a shame Vine is closing down, all those thank yous, sorted in 6 seconds each!

What do your family do? Do you write thank you letters?

School Uniforms - Love them or hate them?

You must have been living in a dream if you have failed to notice that a) it's the start of a new school year and b) school uniforms (and the inability of parents to stick to it) have been in the news.

DD is now 16 and has left school. After years too numerous to count in which she just got up, put on school uniform and went to school, she is starting college. No uniform, and as far as we are aware not even a dress code! I blogged earlier in the year about how we went out to buy some clothes. And it may surprise you to know (or it may not) that I spent as much on 'some new clothes for college' as I ever did on school uniform at the start of term, in fact due to the uniform remaining the same, I was only ever replacing worn out or outgrown clothes, not 'this old thing that is no longer fashionable and any way I've worn it loads and everyone has seen it and I'm bored of it' so I suspect I'll be spending more from now on (actually not as DD is taking responsibility for her finances from now - but that's another post!)

So here is my list of reasons why I love school uniform. 

And before we meander down the 'but freedom of expression!' 'Personality!' 'Individuality!' my daughter is only at school (now college)  7 hours a day, and all the rest of the day, and at weekends, she can wear what she likes, be as individual as she likes, have a unique personality...

So I love school uniform because:

• It's easy. You know what to buy. They know what to wear. No arguments. It just is.
• Cost. You have to buy something, I've found uniform no more expensive than 'normal' clothes, and while you still need 'weekend clothes', you don't need as much as you do when you are wearing 'weekend clothes' all week!
• Speed of getting ready. Maybe it's a girl thing (!) but as DD got older, what to wear became a huge deal, for school it's nice to have no debate, no "I've worn this already" or "oh Jane hates me in that" or " but I said I'd wear the blue! Everyone is wearing blue today!" (see also Mean Girls, on Wednesday we wear pink)
• Differentiation of work and play. Some people may argue that school shouldn't feel like work but the reality is that it is and it does. Personally I don't mind that - I work and I'd rather not, it's life. It's nice to feel like you've left work behind and it's your time when you get home and take off a uniform.
• Durability - school uniform is practical, it's rarely built for trendy fashion, it's tough, hard wearing and stain resistant. Minimal ironing (I say minimal - I mean 'no') easy wash, quick dry.
• Every one looks the same. Rich or poor you are there in the same kit. Yes I know there is shabby uniform and posher branded blouses but on the whole you all look the same as everyone else. No bullying based on clothing (obviously there is bullying based on something else, but fashion isn't in the list)
• Responsibility - It's never too young to learn some responsibility to yourself. Knowing where your uniform is, looking after it, making sure to get it washed and ready for Monday. No 'oh I'll just wear this then' , you need to be responsible.
• Learning to obey rules - now I know loads of people will rail against this but the world doesn't work without rules. Where to drive, tax to pay, bin days, recycling, plenty of jobs have a dress code, or even a uniform, health workers must dress a certain way and be clean, police dress to be identified, as do other civil servants etc. Some rules are worth following and if you feel your school uniform is really terrible, form a pupil group at school and try and change it! 
• Identification. Uniform can be a simple way to see who is a child at your school. As a teacher supervising a day out uniform can be a simple way to keep an eye on everyone (I used to love the Brownie uniform on days out when I was a helper there for this reason) in a sea of T shirts and jeans, (and other school uniforms form other schools) your school uniform can identify you.

And no, school uniform doesn't help you learn better, but it doesn't stop you learning either, and denim shorts don't help you learn better either.

Feel free to disagree (or agree!) with me on Twitter or Facebook

For the record, DD liked wearing her school uniform. (Look at that lovely hat!!)

Your school uniform opinion #poll

— Tattooed Mummy (@tattooed_mummy) September 7, 2016

Cardoo Colouring cards

I've looked at and liked Cardoo cards before. They are a fun idea that turns a card into a small gift. For a child they are great to add some fun to what can be a pretty, but ultimately only decorative, thing. Perfect to send abroad I use them to send to my sponsored child in Uganda.

Now Cardoo have a new range, perfect for older children, teens and adults. With the craze for adult colouring making colouring a 'cool' thing to do again, and helping lots of people to cope with stress I think they are rather a good idea. Excellent for sending to a teen coping with exams, or in hospital with nothing to do these cards are 8 pages of mandala, floral or geometric designs to colour yourslef. You could even colour half yourself first as a way to bond from miles away on a joint project and send some love.

Each card is slightly different style, but all have lovely metallic foil finish on the front so that even before colouring they are stylish and beautiful. They are complimented by a plain brown envelope - perfect for you to decorate before posting.

The cards retail at £3.50 and the range launches on 1st July 2016, with a selction available at WHSmith.

Find out more about all of the cards and look at the range of colouring cards at www.cardoo.com

Thanks to Cardoo who sent me a couple of cards to review

SATs and why I (almost) like them

A blog post today as a follow on from something my daughter said on the morning of the SATs and the subsequent twitter chat on the subject.

SATs are compulsory national tests for primary school pupils. Children in England are required to take Standard Assessment Tests (SATs) at the age of 11 (school year 6). SATs were first introduced in 1991 for Key Stage 1 (KS1)
SATs are given at the end of year 2, year 6 and year 9. They are used to show your child's progress compared with other children born in the same month.

It won't have escaped your attention that some parents kept their children away from school for the day (risking fines) as a protest.

My daughter is 16 and currently revising for her GCSEs. She was surprised at the kerfuffle, and stated that while she didn't love tests or exams, starting them early, including 'big' tests' has helped to prepare her for the ones she now faces and she thinks that starting testing early is good as it starts to make tests common place and takes away the fear often associated with them.
She went on to say, that in her opinion, it is the adults making a fuss about the tests (and she included teachers, parents, and I suspect, the media, in this 'adult' group) that is the real problem, not the tests themselves, which she said she didn't really even notice when she had the first ones at age 6 and was OK with at age 11 as the teachers didn't make a big deal about it.

I've always held by the belief that tests are a useful gauge of how teaching is going, and can pick up on children that are falling behind, or leaping ahead of their peers, it can help to stream classes and that can be a good thing. But I also don't think that testing children more and more will improve teaching.

Improving teaching is based on lots of things, mainly the teachers themselves, and the curriculum they are given. I think a wider curriculum is better as it is more likely to capture childrens' imaginations. (currently I think teachers feel compelled to teach to do well at exams)

So, I was interested that a child that has recently done the tests was in favour of them, though many adults are telling me they have changed since she took them. And that opens up a whole new can of worms about changing the ways schools, teaching and exams happen; I firmly believe that constant change is a bad thing. Changing in education has become a thing that politicians seem to do now for the sake of it. We really need to look at why we are schooling children. To make good workers? To improve their minds? To help them think? And then look at the best way to achieve that goal and stick to it (sorry I have rambled off of the point)

My own view is that testing is needed. It should start early with the emphasis being that it is the teaching being tested and the children should not even be told it's happening to begin with. (am I the only parent that remembers the 'school inspectors' of the 70s visiting the school and sitting in the back of class making notes, and on the day before the visit the teachers begging us to behave?) But constant testing won't improve teaching or learning, so let's let teachers get on with that too.

If you fancy telling me what YOU think, pop over to Facebook where I have a page that would love your thoughts, or tweet me.
Thanks for reading.


"Mummy is a Gadget Geek" also wrote on this subject here

and you can try your luck at a mini SATs here (I scored 6/10)

Room - a movie review

I was sent a preview dvd of the Oscar winning movie, Room , to watch. It is a movie I had seen advertised but the subject matter had put me off watching it. I like kids films, adventure films, sci-fi, comedy but gritty realism isn't usually my choice. And the theme of Room, is a difficult subject, especially for a parent of a teen daughter to watch.

Room tells the story of a 5 year old boy and his mother, trapped in a single room. As the film progresses we discover why they are in the room, how they got there, and what their life is like. The film manages to show the horror of their existence in a calm way that never strays into the salacious. Somehow the understatement of the awful abuse and horrific nature of their imprisonment makes the situation all the more ghastly. A situation that should be your worst nightmare has become commonplace and routine.

But amazingly this film is not depressing, it shows the strength of love, the power of the human spirit and is ultimately extremely uplifting. Don't be fooled, you will cry, I cried 7 times (and one of those times lasted through several scenes) but it really is a great film and well worth a watch. An adult film with very adult themes, it is not suitable for young children (it has a 15 Certificate in the UK, an R is the US) .

There are many scenes in the movie that provoked very strong emotions in me. I think as a parent I identified most with the mother who lost her daughter, rather than 'ma' the girl in Room. But in the early part of the film I did feel for her and the way she tried to keep her son happy, the way she made things about him, and stayed strong through routines. She is shown in such a powerful way, despite her seemingly powerless situation. The normal anger of a child rebelling against his mother when we, the viewer, know what she is going through is heartbreaking. To see her cope with his rage at her is difficult. And to see things through his eyes as he pretends to sleep in Wardrobe at night when Old Nick visits is clever as we are left to know the horror while he does not.

The thing that made me cry the most (and there were a lot of tears) was when we see the bedroom of the lost daughter, still the same as the day she left, 7 years before. The hope her own mother always had that she would return. I held DD and wept.

While it was Brie Larson who won the Oscar (for Best Actress) it is Jacob Tremblay the 8 year old Canadian child actor who plays Jack that stole the film (and a piece of my heart). His brilliant acting on first seeing the sky outside of Room was just wonderful, totally mind blowing.

But I mustn't tell you the whole film, you must see it for yourself.

STUDIOCANAL is delighted to announce the DVD and Blu-Ray release of the multi award winning ROOM on May 9th 2016. 

Directed by Academy Award® nominated Lenny Abrahamson (Frank) with a screenplay by Emma Donoghue that she adapted from her best-selling novel, ROOM stars Brie Larson (Kong: Skull Island, Free Fire), Jacob Tremblay, Joan Allen (The Bourne Ultimatum), William H. Macy (Fargo) and Sean Bridgers (Trumbo), ROOM is one of the most highly acclaimed films of the year.

I don't have to explain myself to you

I don't have to explain myself to you but I have a blog so I can.

I'm with you on the over commercialisation of Christmas. What was a 2 day peaceful retreat with your close family and a single gift has become a festival of weeks, with sales and black Fridays and cyber Mondays and pressure to all have fun and lots of it, usually at vast expense.

The pressure to have food and to buy quite literally so much that you will be binning  80% of it the day after boxing day (especially if you are the sort of person who slavishly abides by sell by dates)

The pressure to not only buy more than you can afford, not only to fill your house with relatives, friends and enforced jollity, but the pressure to do it all NOW...

if not sooner.

I have put up my Christmas tree. I did it on Sunday, Sunday 29th November (coincidentally the first Sunday in advent). I don't have to explain myself to you, but I will. Since DD was born, in the first week of December we have always put up the tree before her birthday, it seemed fun to have the extra decoration for her celebration and once she was old enough to appreciate it she loved it too.

DD enjoys decorating the tree and now, finally just as she turns 16 she can reach to the top to add the star (for many years only the bottom 2 feet was decorated by her!)

This year was no exception, she will celebrate soon, and as a busy family, the weekends are our 'together' time. This weekend we spent that time putting up the tree for her celebration.

Is it too early? For you it may be, so don't put up your tree. For us it is just the right time, and our tree looks lovely. And no, we don't take it down early, it will be there until 12th night and we will mourn its passing. I can't help thinking soon I might be that mad woman that keeps the decorations up all year round, these dark dreary days need some extra sparkle.

Letter to my younger self - would I write one?

People write open letters to their younger selves and share them online. Have I done one yet? I don't think so, and the main reason is that I hate spoilers. I'm not sure my 16 year old self (or my 8 year old or my 12 year old or even my 30 year old) needs to know any of the things that will happen to her.

Look how cute young me is - she should stay spoiler-free I think

DD suggested that I tell her "don't worry about being bullied about walking funny or being terrible at sport as it turns out that at 36 you'll be diagnosed with Charcot-Marie-Tooth, so you are disabled not useless" but I think finding that out at 36 was a blessing really, if I'd known that at 16 would my choices in life have changed? Maybe I wouldn't have been so brave to explore the pyramids in Egypt in my 20s, and maybe my choices in having a child (the simply gorgeous DD) would have been different knowing I carried a hereditary mutant gene that affects the nerves and thus balance and strength throughout the body.

Camel Riding at Giza

I think I might tell 8 year old me not to panic for years about nuclear war, that the 'how to survive a nuclear winter' warnings never became needed (not yet at least) and that working out if you could get home to your parents in 4 minutes was just an unnecessary worry that spoiled times that should be fun, I think I would tell 8 year old me that the government were scaremongering idiots and to just enjoy the long hot summer holidays, because one day you have to go out to work and that's no fun.

Innocence of youth

I wouldn't tell 13 year old me that I would not marry a young teen heart throb (no, not even one of the Bay City Rollers)  but would in fact settle down to live happily for  30 years plus with a man 20 years my senior, I'm fairly sure 13 year old me would be horrified, and probably worried too. 13 year old me also wanted 6 children and I'm not sure telling her that it turns out having one perfect child is just what she needed and will love, would cheer her either.

I wondered if I should tell 19 year old me to get the tattoo! You wanted it and yet you acted so sensible, worrying it would be something you'd wish you had never had. You mentally argued for weeks before deciding to 'wait' and wait you did - until you were 40! But if I'd had my first tattoo in my teens I wouldn't have stopped, I would have lots of tattoos now and less canvas left to work with, and more importantly I wouldn't have been able to take 5 year old DD with me to see me get my 'sewn on' tattoo (as opposed to a temporary 'stick on' tattoo, a type I wore frequently before I had the permanent one. And that memory of mother and daughter, ink and blood, giggles and muffled swears is a memory I treasure.

A similar great memory is the first festival I ever went to - again with DD (and a friend and her daughter) not the drug and booze filled weekend of youth, but a hilarious time to be silly and let our hair down in a field, to discover the horror of festival toilets in the company of a 7 year old is the best fun! no, I don't think younger me needs to be prompted to go to festivals earlier than that.

DD at a festival

 There's no point in upsetting young me with tales of who dies and when, I don't think anyone I've loved has died with things I would like to say to them left unsaid. Maybe I could tell young me not to worry about my parents, that they hang around being just as odd as usual until DD is at least 16, but then I'd have to mention the lack of 6 children, so maybe not.

My mum and me

I certainly wouldn't warn young me of any internet perils! DD has been bridesmaid for a woman I met online, and we have viisted another friend, Mimi in California, twice since I started chatting to her years ago on an internet forum. I have so many online frineds, I think young me will enjoy discovering the fun of meeting new people that way, she always was a little shy.

DD taking her bridemaid role seriously

Is it a case of  je ne regrette rien? I think I'm lucky. I am 50. I have had an interesting life, a fun one. I have a house, family, I've travelled, owned dogs, had tattoos, and a child. I hope the next 50 years are as enjoyable.

Meeting Larry the wolf boy in the Californian Freak Show while visiting Mimi

So, Dear Young Me, enjoy yourself, you have so much excitement ahead. (oh but ask someone to buy you shares in Apple for your 15th birthday - trust me on that one)

Halloween - Safe and Spooky

Just a reminder that Halloween is now more of a children's day of dress up fun more than anything else. I love dressing up for any excuse (as you know) and I've always encouraged DD to join in

Here we are some years ago on Halloween on our way to a party.

With more and more cheap costumes appearing on the market it's easy to assume all are safe. Check before you wear! Fire is a bigger risk than ever at Halloween not just due to trailing mummy bandages and wispy fairy wings, but all those pumpkins with candles in too!

Why not opt for either LED lights in your pumpkins and decorations or glowsticks to remove some risk. And check your costume is fire safe too.

Find more information here http://www.escapade.co.uk/halloween-fire-safety-guide.asp

Have a Happy Halloween.

Escapade – LED Candle Initiative
Having been in the fancy dress business for over 34 years, and as an authorised retailer of some of the largest brands in the world, all Escapade products conform to European safety standards.
Candles are one of the biggest causes of fires in the home - the London Fire Brigade attends around 20 fires a month caused by candles, incense and oil burners. Therefore, safety must come first and be the highest priority this Halloweens season.

“Unlike any other event throughout the year, during Halloween it is traditional to use candles in Jack-O-Lanterns around the door. As part of our fire awareness training we learn that there are three elements to make a fire: oxygen; fuel; and a heat source. We all need to breathe and wear clothing (be it fancy dress costume or a school uniform), but with the use of LED lights we can eliminate the heat source, making it impossible for fire to exist. Halloween should be scary for the right reason; together let’s make it safer for everyone”
- Bhupendra Maisuria, Director at Escapade

  Escapade Pumpkin lights are currently on spooky sale at £1.99 (updated for 2017)

Evil Aunties and Wicked Uncles

I am not only a mummy, oh no, I am also an Auntie. I have two nieces, and several 'honorary' nieces and nephews, the sort where you are almost a mum to them because they are the kids belonging to your  mate. Though in my case many of these mates are now scattered across the UK and we don't see each other that much. I'm not an Evil Auntie though so I still like to send the little ones fun presents on their birthdays and at Christmas.

So I was happy to have the chance to review a website with the rather silly name of Wicked Uncle, for some reason I pictured a sort of Lemony Snickett character behind this enterprise but I needn't have worried, the website is neither gothic nor run down, it is fresh and clean and easy to use.

The premise of the site is simple, much like a wedding planner saves the bride from tearing out her hair over the organisation, Wicked Uncle does all the stressful gift giving for you, all you need to do is to choose (which Wicked Uncle helps with) and then pay and all is done.

Gift wrap, cards, messages, delivery all sorted, you can just sit back and bask in being the brilliant organised Aunt (insert the relative or friend of your choice) and wait for the thank you card to arrive. And arrive it will! Because Wicked Uncle have a rather genius option of a multichoice pre addressed thank you card, so  that all the little rapscallion needs to do is add a tick and a stamp and post it for you to be thanked!

I was so pleased with the site layout, while there are options for Boy/Girl searches, there is also a much more useful 'All' option and then the toys and gifts are sorted by type of recipient rather than gender, so you can search for categories like 'Brainiac' or 'Snuggly' or 'Outdoorsy' or 'Role play' and many more. Each category can be further sorted by age suitability, perfect for when you haven't seen the little darling in over a year. My favourite bit of the site were the little messages that pop up when you add things to your basket

And while obviously buying a glow in the dark zombie shark is super cool, the messages vary, always complimentary and always amusing.

The choice of toys and gifts is fantastic, from Zombie Brain Poppers at £7.99 to Poop Emoji Cushions (we all need one) at £12.95, and from Cuddly lanky cats at £12.95 to Story Cubes at £9.95 (I bought some of these, great for games around the campfire! and for bedtime) and so so many more, I loved the site and found navigating it really easy, I can't stress enough how simple it was!

Make your own super hero mask

I chose to have a couple of presents wrapped, and unlike some other online retailers, the wrapping price is not horrendous as it is only £2.95 with each additional present at £1.50 and there are lots of paper designs to choose from. And standard delivery is only £2.95 (though there is a speedier option too)

Robot Clock

The parcels can be sent out same day if you order before 4pm! so no excuse for belated birthday gifts. Personal messages can be added free of charge (handwritten by elves on the present label) or you can buy and add a card.

My parcel arrived in good time, with the excellent thank you card included (obviously if you have the gift sent direct to the child this makes more sense!)

I will be using the site again, it was so easy, such a great choice from baby to teen (and beyond if you have a silly sense of humour) from cheap small toys, classic wooden ones, to big main presents for the one child you really like ;-)

Inflatable Penguin snowboard!

I dare you to have a browse and not find something you just have to buy - perfect for Christmas. Go on, have a look.

Disclosure - I was sent vouchers to spend on the site - but I loved it so much I spent some of my own money too! The words and thoughts in this review are all my own work, typos and all.