Sherlock Drinking Game

A certain someone asked for a Sherlock Drinking game. This is an obvious necessity and I'm surprised I haven't done one already. So here we are. It is designed to be used with the modern BBC adaptation of Sherlock, but may well work with other versions.

It goes without saying that you should drink responsibly. Set yourself a limit and once you get there, stop! Maybe continue playing with chocolates or bacon sandwiches or doing a little dance for each drinking opportunity.

And so we begin:

• Any one mentions Nicotine patches - one drink per patch
• Sherlock fires a gun - one drink per shot
• Watson Fires a gun - two drinks per shot
• Anyone mentions Watson's blog - drink
• Watson's love-life is mentioned - one drink
• Sherlock's love-life is mentioned - two drinks
• Any one hints at the 'boys' being a couple - drink
• Sherlock turns his collar up - drink
• Sherlock ruffles his hair - drink
• Watson sighs - drink
• Mrs Hudson moans about the mess - drink (two drinks if it's blood/body parts)
• Sherlock receives a text message - drink
• Anyone runs - drink

I think that should do it.

For the Victorian Christmas special (as many of those may not count) I shall add

• Styled moustache and beard in a named character (we might die if I include extras) - drink
• leaping from a moving cab - drink
• Sherlock lights a pipe - drink
• any cape twirling - drink
• sword stick - drink
• anyone punches Watson - drink (two if it's Sherlock that punches him)

What’s been happening in the world of TM - a catch up post

What’s been happening in the world of TM . Well Dry January is finally passed and I managed it without too much hassle. The discovery of a nice non-alcoholic red wine and a non-alcoholic lager did help. I also discovered a fair few juices and soft drinks that I liked too, not least the lemonade from Cawston, sharp and delicious, and the yummy rhubarb and apple. It was equally nice to celebrate a month of the booze with a whole bottle of cava on Sunday, leaving me a tad tipsy and struggling to make sense in tweets.

I think @tattooed_mummy has been celebrating the end of #DryJanuary! 😂 pic.twitter.com/CBrH20UTX1
— Samantha Gouldson (@SamGouldson) February 1, 2015

The experience of dry January has meant I plan to go back to only drinking alcohol at weekends, and sticking with my new non-alcoholic discoveries in the week. This is partly down to health but more down to my weight! Since before Christmas extra lard seems to have been sneaking its way under my skin in that cunning way it does. As you will remember I found a nice free diet app to help me keep track of what I was eating, and by cutting down I’ve so far lost half a stone in January. I hope to continue the slow weight loss until I’m under 10 stone, at which point I will be less strict with my diet but still keep an eye on things. As a deliberate (I’m pretty sure) attack on this, people keep bringing cakes into work, I am resisting.

I received my tower of London poppy back in January and finally put it all together and set it in a plant pot (next to my home-grown avocado) in the conservatory, it’s giving a splash of colour and reminding us daily of the futility of war – not that anyone in power seems to have noticed that, but still…

My tower poppy finally in place, with it's avocado friend. #towerpoppies @TowerPoppies pic.twitter.com/2OuoDb3GDt
— Tattooed_Mummy (@tattooed_mummy) January 31, 2015

On Friday DD bravely had a 3rd tooth extracted – ready for her new braces, in preparation for gorgeous film star teeth, I’ve promised she can have them whitened too when they are finally straight, people will mistake her for an American!

On Saturday we had a teensy bit of snow that barely hung around long enough for comment.

Our Dogs, RIP

On Sunday afternoon Mr TM foolishly mentioned he had been toying with the idea of getting a dog again. It’s been over a year since we lost our last dog and the house is ominously hair and mud free, his daily walks are boring and I think he would like to remedy all that. Of course DD and I were way too excited and keen and instantly began scouring lists of rescue dogs. Initially put off rescue when we saw some of the ‘rules’ the smaller charities had, we were heartened to see that the Dogs Trust is keener on making sure dogs and people are matched up and happy than in red tape, also the adoption fee was much less! Mr TM has now forbidden us to speak of dogs again until he’s made up his mind. This is me not saying that there are some extremely cute dogs at the Dogs Trust…and if we got one (which I’m not talking about) she would probably be a small, cute, young female, not a Jack Russell …maybe a staffy…but as I said…I’m not talking about dogs.

A catching up post

I'm sure* you are all wondering what I've been up to this week
(*I realise you don't care)

And so here is my news.

This week I have mostly been panicking about what to buy my dad for his birthday. I'm sure in 'the olden days' it was easier to buy things for people, we didn't have much and we didn't seem to want much, we were easily pleased. I know that each year I struggle to think of things that I need or want that I don't have already...more earrings? More books? More handbags? When did owning things become a chore? I just thank my lucky stars for food and alcohol - both of which get used up between birthdays and for charities that allow you to buy something for someone that actually needs something...I once bought a bicycle for a Dr in Bolivia for a friend...and my mum once bought me a school desk in Africa...

This year I bought my dad beer..and I have a surprise gift planned for when we meet up next weekend (we are going camping of course) 

Also I've been planning my imminent London excursion to see Sir Tom Jones in concert in Hyde Park. I was hoping to take DD but she is double booked and is off to a Cheer leading Competition instead. The weather forecast for London is wet...and that's not just the middle aged women at the concert...

I've also managed to finish a bottle of wine and a bottle of cava this week, averaging a glass and a half a night, not sure when you declare you have a drink problem...when you can no longer afford it?

Other things I have been doing include playing The Sims (freeplay) on the ipad, including finally getting a birthday for all the babies, and buying a Frisbee for the dog.

And trying to get past level 20 on Disney's Maleficent Free Fall.

So there is my exciting life. Oh and Mr TM broke the lawnmower...again, by crashing it into the trampoline., we currently have an uncut circle of grass like a reverse crop circle on the lawn.

Musketeers drinking game

A drinking game to play while watching The Musketeers, for a teetotal version use marshmallows instead of shots

Take a drink when ...

• A Musketeer leaps through a window - 2 drinks, (one if it's anyone else that leaps)
• A musketeer is running through a market and a stall is upset - 2 drinks (one if it's anyone else)
• Someone is threatening someone with a musket but not shooting - 1 drink
• There is a Man hug - I drink
• There is a Heaving bosom - 1 drink
• A musketeer denies being hurt or down plays a wound that is obvious to everyone - 1 drink
• A Musketeer kisses a woman - 1 drink
• A musketeer fights with a sword in each hand - 2 drinks (one for each sword)
• A musketeer gets topless - 2 drinks
• Anyone is surprised in their underwear or other state of undress - one drink
• A musketeer stands brooding in the rain - 1 drink
• A woman banadages a mans wounds - 1 drink
• A woman folds linen - 1 drink
• Anyone swirls a cape - 1 drink
• A musketeer takes a drink....match them drink for drink
• A musketeer thinks about, or moons over, a lost/past love - 1 drink

Anyone still sober?

The one where I went to the pub with some authors and a banana

Last night was a blast.

Back in November inspirational authors started an auction to raise money for the Philippines. For those that had lost everything, or almost everything in a terrible natural disaster.I bid on one of these lots. The whole hilarious bidding war can be seen here.

And so last night, I claimed my winnings. I was not disappointed.

I travelled from the South Coast to London. Others involved travelled further. Emily and I mysteriously met on the tube, by chance, with my flamboyant Banana Splits T shirt giving me away.


Hayley was waiting nervously, alone, outside the pub. We gathered her up and sallied forth into the drunken throng. We found Andy Stanton (who gives great hugs and is a perfectly lovely chap) and Anthony McGowan (more of him later) ordering drinks, hoorah, we sneaked our orders in and retired to the table to await the others. Soon we were all there.

"I expect you are wondering why I gathered you all here tonight" Andy intoned in an ominous clichéd author stylie..

No one ask about the banana...

And thus the fun began. Conversation ranged from literature, to whether you could make money from writing children's books, to travel, to twitter, to cats, and often strayed into the bizarre.

No! I said don't ask about the banana!

 The pub we met in was heaving, noisy and difficult to have a proper chat in, so we moved on to a (slightly) quieter location. Briefly mistaken for a book club, we were given goodie bags by Tony (some fab books, which led to much book signing), gifts from Andy(more signing). Then we were treated to some male rivalry

(I mentioned Andy won as an author as he was bearded, what Tony replied cannot be published here but suffice to say Andy challenged him to a duel, of sorts, in the gentlemen's toilets)

and took photos of each other, we chatted and laughed, laughed andchatted and generally got on like old friends. What a wonderful thing twitter is to help us meet people, and how super that while doing some amazing things for charity (the auction has raised over £50000 for the Philippines) we could have such a fabulous time.

Yes that's me, and Andy Stanton.....and the banana

Sadly I had to leave at 9.30pm to catch my train, leaving the others to drink, chat and misbehave until? well I don't know! I hope they will comment here on what happened next...for me it was a simple tale of missing my train home, finding one that got me most of the way there, and finding a taxi...rolling in at 12.30 ish.

PS yes there was a toy banana, yes it looked and felt like a sex toy, yes it was inappropriate and we laughed about it anyway. It is Tony's fault. Click here to see why

Wow Tony, what a large banana you have....

The lovely authors I met were Andy Stanton Anthony McGowan Amanda Jennings Emily Diamand Jane Hardstaff Sally Nicholls Hayley Long
Do check out their books, some really nice, and talented, folk.

For the love of Tea - #Competition

A nice cup of tea. What could be better. (shhh no one mention bacon butties or alcohol)

A nice cup of tea, what could be better, suitable for vegetarians, teetotallers and everyone (ha! see what I did!)

I love a nice cup of tea, you know when you make a really good one that is just right, no scum on top, just the right strength and just the right temperature. And that temperature is 60-65oC according to the Royal Society of Chemistry they also point out that the water should be freshly boiled and not re-boiled (something that my husband does grrr!) as previously boiled water will have lost some its dissolved oxygen and that is important for tea flavour.

My tea of choice is Assam. I love its golden colour and taste to wake you up! I always feel its like a 'posh' builder's tea. I drink it white, with one sugar.

My lovely husband drinks green tea (loose leaf only, in a glass cup) with no milk or sugar. But he's weird.

It was with excitement that I discovered the perfect website for the tea lover! The rather aptly named 'Nothing But Tea' (though actually that's a fib as they sell tea related goodies too.)

They are, to be blunt. tea obsessed. It's all about the wonder of proper tea. Honestly take a look, who knew that tea was such an enormous subject, a tea bag is nothing, nothing, the NBT website is alive with the joy of the leaf, the ceremony of the art of tea making. Just a read of the website makes me want to spend time watching my tea brew, to really savour the proper taste of proper tea, and I'm British after all, we are famed for making and drinking tea!

Nothing But Tea shuns the teabag (filled as they are with inferior leaves and dust) and sells only loose leaf (Mr TM will be happy!)

But don't panic, in a hurry you can still make a fast, fuss free brew using the cutest tea ball

Hedwig Tea Ball £3.60

or play submarines in your mug

Submarine tea infuser £4.68

Or go the full ironic and use a teabag shaped infuser

Cute teabag tea infuser!

I bet you fancy a cup of tea now. I know I do. Luckily the lovely people at Nothing But Tea would like to give away a Beautiful Tea set (worth £48)  and a whole box of tea samples to one lucky reader! Could it be you?

To enter use the Rafflecopter thingy below.

You must leave a comment here telling me which is your favourite tea from the Nothing But Tea website (I confess Mexican Sunrise Oolong sounds rather fine!) There are extra entries for Twitter follows, Google+ shares etc.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Festivals, Camping, Spring, Summer. I can't WAIT!!!

So, half an hour of lunchtime left, time for a quick blog about camping and festivals because it's snowing and I am missing being under canvas.

Yes the joy of canvas - and when I say that I'm not euphemistically referring to all tents, I actually own two proper canvas tents. I have a nylon tent too and it's fine, waterproof, light, easy to erect (steady!) but it's not really the same. it doesn't have the authentic camping feel, it has the wrong smell. Ah the smell of a canvas tent, the lovely warm summer smell of the tent as it warms in the sun, or the autumn smell as it dries after rain. Rain which on a nylon tent is noisy but in a canvas tent has an oddly solid 'thump' to each drop, leaving one to assume that the Armageddon of storms is taking place when actually it's a light shower. At least the wind doesn't bend the firm steel poles of my canvas tent though. The canvas might snap and crack like a whip but the tent stays firm in the onslaught of a spring wind.

I am longing to get out in the tent (and to test my new storm kettle!) with my long suffering DD (the darling husband stays home (more sense than TM & DD I bet you are muttering) but it's so close to festival season, costumes are being bought, supplies are being listed (cans of G&T and Pims mostly), soon the tents will be checked.

The first festival I'm off to is the Magical Faery Festival in Findon, Sussex. Sounds delightful, a fine excuse to dance skyclad or in ethereal faery garb to mystical music in a field of green. Here's hoping for fine weather, fine food, fine wines and average toilets.

Many people are put off attending a festival due to the whole 'portable chemical toilets' thing, I can sort of understand that but the first festival I attended was Eastern Haze, DD was 8, it rained and rained, no one could get lorries on site to clean the loos, by day 3 the poop was a foot higher than the seat (who looks at a pile of poop in a festival toilet and thinks "hmm if I hover I can squeeze another one on there"?) and after that, all festival loos appear amazingly clean! and just in case of disaster we take the 'ShitBox' (never had to use it but it's a comfort to know it's there) and Sheewees of course!

After the Faery Festival DD and I are off to Glastonbury of course - and we are so excited we can hardly breathe. More of that in later blog posts.

Then we have tickets booked for Camp Bestival, a true 'middle class mummy' joy of a festival, eco loos, baby changing and breastfeeding tents, Pims on the castle lawn, Jousting, flowers, art, literature, ballet and some good old fashioned music. Love this festival to pieces and will be taking painted festival tent, as we will to the Faery festival - not so sure about Glastonbury, I'm a bit concerned about tent safety (and my lovely canvas being weed on, so may buy a new cheap yet funky tent for Glasto)

And then only the next weekend we will be off to Wilderness, smaller but just as lovely, boating on the lake, smoothies for breakfast, flushing toilets. A gorgeous festival.

And at each festival you find me, erecting the tent, sometimes with help from DD, making it look easy (considering I'm 'only a girl' and then having a celebratory beer.(top tip here - always erect your tent at least once before you go - it saves looking like a tit that has no clue what they are up to and checks no bits are missing!)

Spring, Summer, Festivals, Camping. I simply cannot wait. Are you coming? Should I bring extra Pims?