New Year and some New Ideas

A new year makes a lot of people take stock of their life, they look at changing things and starting new things that they hope will improve their lot. I'm no different! and so far this year I've been doing the following things...I'm sharing them here so that I can remember and so that you might get a few ideas too - and of course, as always, do add any comments or ideas I've missed.

I have not joined a gym. Or pledged to run a marathon, or given myself a target of walking more. However, Fizz says I should remember that even when it's raining she likes to take, at the very least, a stroll around the block.

What have I done? 

Online stuff.

Well first I did a quick email tidy up. I looked at all of the emails waiting to be read and shuddered! I use Gmail and have set up lots of rules and filters to sort my mail but there is still a lot of it. So i looked first at the business emails I receive. Lots of companies sign you up for 'information about our offers' type emails when you buy from them or when you open an online account, so the first thing I did was to unsubscribe from all of those.
Then I looked at my filters and checked they were all still relevant, I deleted a few that had been set up for specific events that had now passed, and created a few new ones for 2018. With my inbox tidied, I moved on to Twitter and checked which apps and companies have access to my twitter, lots are necessary of course, the apps I use on my iPad and the news sites that allow sharing, Klout and a few others, but I deleted any I hadn't used in a while and then deleted all those I didn't recognise.
Having long been a fan of not listening/looking at nasty things I also checked I was still signed up to BlockTogether and that they still had the access they needed (by signing up there I have over 51000 people blocked on twitter - most are on the 'nazi' list - (message me on twitter if you'd like to know more) Twitter is a much nicer place since I started using BlockTogether.
I also checked that all the sites that could have 2 factor authorisation (2FA) set up, did have. security of online life has become as important as keeping your home safe, with more identity theft and online fraud, so if a site offers extra protection, I take it! I also renewed my yearly subscription to LastPass password manager. I have over 50 different passwords and using a password manager I can be sure they are all different, long, complicated and hard to crack!

Next I looked at some money saving;

not least because I need to find the money to connect to the Playstation 4 network so that I can go (virtual) fishing with my brother at the weekends. The PS4 network carries an annual charge of £49.99 so that was my target.
It was remarkably easy to hit because it seems that I've gradually (lazily) been hemorrhaging money!
First I bought some coffee bags so that I can make my own coffee at work. I have to have real coffee and a cafetiere is just too much mess but using coffee bags instead of a £1.70 a day coffee from the canteen I can save £5.50 a week!
Also by buying ready meals instead of using the canteen I can still have a hot meal (microwaved) but save £2 a day, so there's another £10 a week.
Much as I love Audible and audiobooks my £7.99 a month habit is pricey, so as a trial I've cancelled that. I intend to relisten to the 40 or so books I have bought from them over the years and then to look at using the library's free audiobook service. So there is a huge £96 a year saving too!
With just those few changes I have saved an amazing £822 a year! more than enough for my PS4 bill.

What have you been up to? Any savings this year or changes to your life that don't include exercise or diet (those are so old hat now surely? haha)

Ranting about Delivery Companies

Today I feel the need for a rant, grab popcorn and take a seat.

Why are delivery companies all so terrible?

Copyright: ragnarocks / 123RF Stock Photo

I'm not going to single one out because every one I have ever had contact with has at some point done something stupid.

• I've had a laptop left on the doorstep in plain view of the street (in a box clearly identified as a new laptop!). 
• I've had a box thrown over a wall, a box containing 12 glass bottles of traditional beers, a box that then lay, smashed and sad in the rain for a WEEK because no card was left and so no one know the parcel was there. 
• I've had parcels left under car wheels. 
• Boxes left in empty recycling bins, again with no note. 
• Numerous parcels undelivered or left with neighbours but no note left to tell me.
• I once rang to chase the delivery of a new mobile phone to be told it had been signed for the previous day and that then mysteriously was delivered one day later...no signature required.

And that brings me to today's rant. DD ordered some presents for her friends from a well known online retailer, but from a seller there, not the well known online retailer itself, 4 days after the latest delivery date she emailed to ask where the gifts were, to be told they had been delivered and signed for, two weeks earlier!

No one in the house had seen this parcel, we checked with neighbours, we searched around the house, (no point in checking the bins as they had been emptied twice since the delivery date!) nothing. I contacted the company. 'Nothing to do with us' they said 'it's been delivered, we have signed delivery proof'. I asked to see the signature. The signature is barely even a line, it's a stroke of a pen and bears no resemblance at all to any of the signatures of the occupants of the house, in fact even the dog would make a clearer signature. I told the seller this. They replied that the driver had also filled int he name of the signer (my surname) and 'he couldn't have known that unless the signatory told him' ... erm...surely the name is ON THE PARCEL! Of course the driver can know the name to fill in!
Maybe he was busy and planned to come back later, maybe he got home and realised he missed the parcel and meant to do it the next day and forgot, maybe he called at the wrong house and some weird stranger claimed our gift? I don't know, but the parcel is not here and someone somewhere is lying.

I spoke to the delivery company in this case and they were helpful but said that it is up to the seller to query deliveries, not me, and that if there is a problem the seller needs to claim from them. So I am stuck in the middle, DD has paid, we have received nothing, the seller claims it's delivered, the delivery company can't help.

What is the point of a signature if it's not a signature that matches yours? I think it's about time that the delivery world caught up - what about a digital PIN, a number generated by the delivery company and not known to the driver, but emailed to the recipient so that they can key it in on delivery?

Currently I'm still fuming, arguing with a seller on a well known online retailer website and threatening to open a claim with the well known online retailer to get our money back.

Update : Well know online retailer have a good claims procedure and have refunded DD. So Yay! for them.

Do tell me about your delivery nightmares. I know you must have some....

I'm so sure you have a tale to tell - I've switched blog comments back on!

Cheerleading

My daughter is a cheerleader. She has been for several years now. When you think of cheerleaders I expect you think of short skirts and pompoms and to be fair there are pompoms and short skirts some of the time. But the reason DD likes doing cheer is that it's acrobatic, dangerous, exhausting, difficult and fun!

American style cheer has been growing in popularity over here and it is more about pyramids and throwing people into the air than pompoms most of the time. A proper sport has grown from what started as a few skimpily glad young women on a touchline supporting a team, cheering them on to win.

In the US Cheer leading is one of the most dangerous sports with huge numbers of injuries (I'm not sure that's anything to be proud of!) mostly as the girls are keen to be held or thrown higher and higher, and with the introduction of boys into the team the girls are often tossed higher than ever!

If you don't know what I mean, check out this amazing Cheer leading competition video.

One of the problems with being a cheerleader in the UK (apart from everyone assuming you just shake pompoms all day) is buying decent cheer kit. Dance and running gear is not what you need for cheer leading. Having decent cheer trainers (white, with support but flexibility, and light weight) is important, and it's nice for a team that plans to compete or do any displays to have a decent matching uniform. And while you can wear leggings or shorts and a T shirt for practice, it's nice to have dedicated 'cheer' items. Cool down kit is also popular with the girls in my daughter's team, comfy trousers and warm sweatshirts.

Cheer Cool down pants

So I was delighted to find that we can order Cheer kit online from a UK based supplier. Living Cheer are based in Telford (home of several cheer competitions) They have a great range from trainers to T-shirts, even bags and cute bows and badges. We were sent some trousers and shorts for DD to try out and she loves them, fashionable and comfy, she has taken to wearing them around the house as well as to practice each week, proud to show off her sport. Living Cheer even have uniforms, so if you are thinking of starting a team (and why not!) you can get everyone into a matching kit. At the moment they don't seem to have a range of boy's uniforms, which is a shame as there are more and more co-ed teams (many boys have realised the benefit to hanging out with fit young women in short skirts, or revel in the sparkle and glamour themselves) but hopefully Living Cheer will start to stock boys kit in the future.

If you want to know more about cheer in your area try contacting local leisure centres or the BCA (British Cheer leading Association)  or UKCA (UK Cheer leading Association) or Future Cheer.

Online Chemist - Direct to you - a review

I work full time. I squeeze in blogging in lunch breaks and after work. I have a teen so I'm a mummy taxi sometimes too, especially at weekends. And while this menas that (retired) Mr TM gets the joy of most of the big foodshops (lucky him!) it means that shopping for me is a bit of a chore. Finding time to get stuff on the way home from work, limited to where ever is open, no time to browse...

So it was nice to be asked by Chemist Direct to check out their online Chemist Shop. They offered me a voucher code for  a discount in exchange for this review, so here it is.

The first thing I checked was whether the website was registered with the Pharmaceutical society. It's a way to ensure that you are buying medicines safely and legally. I'm pleased to say that Chemist Direct is registered and proudly display the logo and registration number on their homepage.

The site was easy to search and had lots of clear pictures of the products on offer, they have sale sections with all sorts of offers. And then the site is split into catergories such as Pet, Beauty, Mother and Baby, Vitamins, Healthcare etc and they even have an online Doctor. An online Chemist is not only convinient it means that you don't have to sit and chat face to face about an embarrassing problem!

I spent a good hour browsing the cosmetics and the perfumes, looking at the great value branded products and the electricls too (yes there is a sexual health section, they they sell sex toys, no I didn't buy any)

I chose some nail polish for DD (remember how keen she is on nails?) and some lovely aftershave balm from Crabtree and Evelyn for Mr TM and then some lip gloss and powder for myself...lipstick, powder and paint, is she is or is she ain't? well yes I am!

Delivery is free on orders over £30 and they often have fabulous clearance bargains with up to 70% off recommended prices so your money goes further, great for gift buying or as a treat.

I like the fact that you can shop 24 hours a day, the site is easy to use, and they accept payment via Paypal as well as the usual card payments.

The products are great value, there are some real bargains and bulk buys available too to save even more.

They arrived promptly and well packaged. Today I'm rocking some L'Oreal 6 hour glossy lip gloss (in Golden Tattoo colour naturally!) and DD is looking forward to some Bubblegum Pink 'Model's Own'  nails.

Why not start your first shop with £5 off using this link

Members of Parliament and their members. A Rant about Cock Pictures

So a Minister has sent a picture of his todger to a journalist who he believed to be a young female researcher. He is married with 5 children.

Is he sleazy? Yes. Was he wrong to do it? morally wrong? yes. Was he stupid to send a digital copy of his cock over t'interwebs to a woman? yes

Twitter seem to agree, among the humour and cock pictures are some angry tweets about his stupidity and lack of morals.

Already got someone on radio saying about Brooks Newmark it's time to 'draw a line under it'. I say add a moustache and a smiley face too
— P* (@98Apples) September 27, 2014

Pathetically naive and disgusting behaviour with ZERO respect for wife and kids #brooksnewmark
— Dominic Farrell (@DominicFarrell) September 27, 2014

And at first I agreed, after all what sort of creep, married with 5 kids sends pics of his shlong to young women online? but then I had a rethink, what if the MP was a young woman and the journalist had posed as a man? What if the entrapment was the other way round. And again I wasn't alone, lots of people though the entrapment was the disgusting part. That the newspaper and the journalist were to blame, after all, being sleazy is not a crime, betraying your wife, while pretty vile, is a person's own business.

Furious at this Brooks Newmark story. That is not journalism, that's entrapment. Just a disgusting and unnecessary attempt to hurt people
— Darling (@__Darling_) September 28, 2014

A male journo sent Brooks Newmark explicit pics of who knows who as part of a sting operation. Gutter stuff. Shouldn't be resigning issue.
— Owen Jones (@OwenJones84) September 28, 2014

And again I was swayed. I thought 'yes he's been a fool but so what. the newspaper was in the wrong even more'

But then my husband pointed out that we are in a country in a state of high alert for terrorism, we have parliament recalled for talks on war, and during all that we have MPs that think it's OK to send pictures of their John Thomas to female researchers on twitter because they believe on the strength of a few tweets that the woman is who she says she is.

@Nickking who sets up a fake profile & puts months of work into trying to see some ministerial cock? That's what I find staggering.
— Andy Smyth (@antisyzygy) September 28, 2014

Because a Minister needs to be more savvy. If a journalist can take the time to set up an account and create a false persona online just to get a willy picture, then what would others do to get things they need? Using a cock shot as blackmail would be a beginning but leading to what? secrets shared, information accidentally given or even given deliberately assuming that this new twitter friend was a researcher in the House of Commons so she must have clearance...it's all ok right? Because people online don't lie do they?!

So for me after all the outrage at the Sunday Mirror, and the laughter at Brooks Newmark's paisley pyjamas, after all the moral outrage on behalf of his family, I'm left thinking that the biggest question is why we allow MPs onto social media with so little training, they do not seem to understand the basic lesson that I teach my 14 year old.

"On the internet, nobody knows you are a dog"

Peter Steiner's cartoon, as published in The New Yorker

It seems to me that the government needs to ensure that MPs and all who work for the government and use social media need some proper security training. And that is the issue this has revealed.

What a tangled web we weave

When first we practice to deceive...

So they say, and based on one experience I had online it seems to be true.

Way back in the olden days, before twitter, message boards were very popular. I think some still are.

I was a member of a popular board for parents. Both mums and dads chatted about kids, life, jobs, all sorts of things. Some of us flirted a bit, nothing serious, we were mostly all in relationships. Some of us made friends and exchanged Christmas cards, talked on the phone, chatted via email that sort of thing. And about 20 of us became really close. All women and one dad.

When a few of us were banned from the message board site (don't ask, that's a WHOLE other story) we started our own board.

The dad on the board was in his 30s. He had a young wife and a young daughter when he first joined. Later his wife got pregnant again and they had another girl. He was really nice, worked in the city doing shares or something, was good at financial advice. Often discussed schooling, wanted advice on his daughters, that sort of thing. His wife wasn't keen on him sharing things online, so he used a pseudonym ("Bis") , for himself and "fake" names for all his family, much like I do now, back then I shared my real name, and my families real names and location.

He was witty and clever, very chatty, often flirty, but never stepped over the line. He was nice, and fun. It was good to have a dad's perspective on things.

We were all friends on the new board, still talking about family life over a year later.

Then one of the ladies on the board broke up with her husband. It was very sad and a tough time for her, we all rallied round (digitally speaking) with advice and support.

Soon after that, Bis needed to travel on business and suggested he meet her as he would be in her state. She agreed, they met and had lunch.

But she was worried, she told us he appeared a lot younger than he had claimed, and he was a lot more flirty than he was online. But the meal passed without major incident and they said goodbye still friendly.

When he returned home after his trip he told us how he'd stumbled on a family crisis. His wife was having an affair and was planning to leave. He was devastated. She would be taking the children and he didn't know what to do. He hoped maybe he could stay with one of us, specifically the lady he'd met as they'd got on so well .....

None of us knew what to say, so many friends with breakups was upsetting, we were sad for everyone, but the lady he'd met told us privately that she was uneasy about meeting him again.

Bis continued to tell us about what was going on but things sounded like they were happening so fast, it was all starting to sound 'odd'.

Bis told us how much he'd always liked the lady he'd met and that now he wanted to ask her out, but he'd told some lies. We assumed maybe his wife didn't know about his online life, or maybe he'd invented her 'affair' to put himself in a good light, but the "affair" his wife had wasn't the lie...

He told us he needed to come clean. It seemed that a tangled web was so tangled by now that even Bis realised, despite keeping copious notes about what he'd said in the past, the ages of his girls, etc etc he couldn't continue.

It was ALL a lie. He was not 30. He was not married. There were no children. He didn't work in the city. There was no business trip. He didn't even have a girlfriend.

He was a teenager, living at home, he worked at a corner store. He had joined the message boards when his then girlfriend had aborted his baby when he had wanted to keep it and marry her, they had split up. He had wanted to pretend he was going to be a dad, he had been so upset he had invented his perfect family, and the lie had grown and grown.

He had grown to like people online. But he couldn't stop the lie. It was too big, it had a life of its own. He had tried to 'remove' his family only when he wanted to ask the woman out...

Everyone on the message board was shocked. They immediately banned him. The woman he met was freaked out and wouldn't speak to him ever again.

I kept on touch online for a while as did my friend Mimi (she's real, I've been to california and met her) but it was odd, not knowing what, if anything was real.

Sometimes I think of him and wonder what he's doing now. I hope he's ok. The story was strange and sad. But it makes me behave differently online now.

There is an old New Yorker cartoon where two dogs are using a PC, one is saying to the other "on the internet, no one knows you are a dog" it's true. None of us know who the others are.

Take care out there.

Have you been fooled online? How much do you lie? 

Pop over to my Facebook page and comment  there, or come for a chat on twitter. 

Dearest Beloved

I get some really lovely emails from some really lovely generous people sometimes, (every day) which just proves to me the Internet is full of fantastic and lovely people. I thought you should share in the joy these emails bring, so here are a couple from today's offering