Compassion Fatigue - I'm guilty

BBC News - The direct mail that tugs the heartstrings http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-33549655

This rant was brought about by a reminder via the BBC News site of the way charities target people.

I realise that charities need to be given money and time and often old clothes to work, and I know about the argument that the money spent on advertising and promotion is regained in donations but one thing that is annoying is that it's not fairly spread.
For example. I see an online request or a TV advert for a specific event (in the last year this has happened to me at least twice) I respond with a donation - usually using a website, my name and address and details are given. Over the next year I receive numerous 'news letters', 'updates', requests for more money, asks for direct debits, pens, coasters, in short I receive in 'junk' mail well over the value of the original donation I made. So while over all, the advertising is paid for by donations, I feel that mine is wasted and hasn't gone to the thing I intended at all.
And usually, unlike with an email, I don't have an easy opt out on the paper mail. There is no 'send the enclosed card back to stop future mail'. Last year after about the 7th mailshot I finally tracked down, via an online search, an email address and asked to be removed from the mailing list. So far I have had no more mail from that charity.

Christmas is also a high pressure time for charities with certain charities insisting on sending 'gifts' of pens, stickers, wrapping paper, cards etc and then asking for a donation. The idea here is presumably to make you feel so guilty at having received a gift that you donate more. It's horrible to add such pressure in a donation request in my opinion.

The people in the cases the BBC highlights feel pressured to give and I feel that too sometimes, though the final effect too much 'bumpf' through the post actually has, is to harden me to charity requests.
Because I do support several charities (on a regular basis) I now find it easier to disregard letters that fall on the mat begging me to stop child abuse, help battered woman and feed the starving elderly. I send these letters straight into the recycling. I am not proud or happy about this hard hearted attitude, I would like to be soft and kind and care lots but as the BBC has reported, it doesn't stop, it increases. Donate £5 and next you will be asked to donate £20 and then set up a direct debit and then a new, equally worthy cause will fall onto your mat.

I don't know the answer. For me it is picking a charity or two and setting up a regular donation. I do respond sometimes to world disasters but luckily my main charity is also a member of DEC so I don't get extra requests subsequently. Otherwise, for local charities I donate in cash only, so they don't have my details or know who I am. Perhaps charities could look at online and phone donations and ask at the time "Is this a one off donation or should we contact you in the future?" and make that a large and clear question, not a vague check box buried amongst the terms and conditions in a way large corporations would be proud of.  Don't even get me started on the 'chuggers'; the charity muggers that accost you on the street and try and guilt you into donating, showing you pictures of starving cats and beaten dogs.

Have I got 'compassion fatigue'? Is it possible that the constant attempts by so many charities to wear me down, to get me to part with money, has actually had the opposite effect? Maybe.

How do you cope? Do you give regularly? Not at all? Cash only? Or are you a sucker for a good cause and give as often as you can?

For information you might like Give as You Live - an online scheme (which costs you nothing) where you sign up and many online purchases cause charity donations to be given on your behalf, Amazon is part of their scheme for example.

The charities I support regularly are CMT UK (as I have Charcot-Marie-Tooth it's rather self serving of me) and World Vision - where I sponsor a child in Uganda.

Load of Bollocks

It's charity Tuesday!

I'm a lady. I am the mother of a teen girl. I do have a husband but I'll admit we rarely discuss testicles. I mean, you don't, do you.(except you - you weirdo)

But apparently we should do! It's all well and good us ladies marching about with our boob awareness and Cop a Feel campaigns and the like, but we mustn't leave out the chaps!

So gents, don't be afraid to 'talk balls' (you do enough of it usually) get in there! Talk Balls to your sons, your friends. Make testicles top of the chat list this Friday in the pub. Mums of sons, pluck up your courage! Talk Balls!!

Over 2,200 young men aged 15-44 are diagnosed with testicular cancer each year. (One of my mates had a testicle removed due to cancer when we were about 18 - he's now a grown up (!) father of two)

Orchid’s ‘Father and Sons’ campaign hopes to encourage men to feel confident talking to their sons about testicular cancer, and ensure they know how to check for signs and symptoms.

Orchid commissioned a survey and new stats show:

• 42% of parents do not regularly talk to their children about health issues or concerns
• 20% of parents never broach the issue with their children
• 30% of parents do not feel confident discussing how to check for signs and symptoms of testicular cancer
• 76% would sooner refer their child to a GP rather than raise a health-related concern with them directly
• Only 36% of 18-34 year olds are confident recognising the signs and symptoms of testicular cancer – a remarkable 20% lower than breast cancer

Watch the video (it made me laugh), share on twitter, #talkballs

For advice and support on testicular cancer please visit www.orchid-cancer.org.uk

Christmas Cards

If you look around you at this time of year you cannot escape being told it's the season to send cards to everyone you know, actually you may even find you are being told to make cards with your toddlers, to create and to send a Christmas masterpiece.

When I was small I took delight is giving out cards or sending them (via the battered cardboard and cottonwool-adorned school postbox) to all the other kids I knew. I would not enjoy the writing of them so much, you were probably lucky to just get my name scribbled inside, maybe your name too if I really liked you but certainly no personal message of cheer. The choosing of the card design was always important, some years I favoured a mixed box, other years all the cards needed to be the same size and theme. Once written that stack of cards felt magical, and the joy of getting a similar stack of my own with my name on was equally delightful. Decorating the house with cards on ribbons or strings was part of Christmas.

Copyright: markaumark / 123RF Stock Photo

But a lot has changed in the 40 years or so since little me wrote 40 cards a year. For a start I have a smaller circle of friends (I'm not including the thousands of oddballs I chat with on twitter of course - not being a stalker, I don't know where you live) and the friends I do have I see regularly, or if not I chat to via Facebook, twitter, email or text...or even phone! So the urge to send cards is less. Postage is expensive too - sending 40 cards even 2nd class and UK only would cost £21.20 on top of the cost of the cards! Hardly surprising then, that fewer and fewer people send cards.

Many people prefer to spend that sort of money on something more meaningful such as a charity donation or a gift for someone that normally wouldn't get anything.

This year I'm wondering whether to send any cards at all. Part of me feels mean, and how do you tell people? I'm sure to offend someone who won't know why they don't hear from me. I suppose that, like last year, I will restrict my card sending to the extremely tiny number of people and relatives that are not on Facebook, Twitter, Email, Text and that I don't see in person from one year to the next...but a tiny part of me wonders why I bother with a card at all if it's a once a year thing?

Do you send cards? And if so who to?

Hopeful Sunday #growhope

Posting a couple of pictures that mean hope to me.

What does hope mean to you?

Visit http://www.worldvision.org.uk/get-involved/grow-hope/ to find out more and

GROW HOPE WITH WORLD VISION THIS SUMMER

Join World Vision in marking the anniversary of the 1984 Ethiopian Famine, the worst in living memory, by growing and sharing hope with family and friends this summer.

follow #growhope on Twitter

Because I'm a Girl

Every year, millions of girls across the world are at risk of FGM - Female Genital Mutilation. 

Also known as female genital cutting, it’s a practice dating back thousands of years, which involves the full or partial removal of a girl’s external private parts.  

It is mostly carried out on young girls, sometime between infancy and age 15, but has no medical or hygienic justification. 

It’s practised for a variety of complex cultural reasons including beliefs that it helps to preserve chastity, cleanliness and family honour, and that it prepares a girl for marriage.  

FGM is a global issue - in the UK, 20,000 girls are at risk this year. As part of Plan UK's Because I’m a Girl campaign they are calling for FGM to be eradicated.

I'm just going to wait while you reread that; especially " involves the full or partial removal of a girl’s external private parts."

Full. The full removal of a girl's external private parts. 

Plan UK is looking to eradicate this practice in a generation. You can help.

Watch this 38 second video. Share it. Don't keep quiet. Join the campaign




Plan's stance on FGM

"Plan believes FGM is a form of violence against women and girls and an abuse of human rights. FGM directly relates to traditions of unequal power between women and men, and is socially acceptable in communities where it is used to enforce discrimination and ensure the compliance of women and girls.

Our plan is to change that by supporting community leaders and governments in creating societies where inequality is eradicated and the human rights of women and girls are respected and celebrated."

Life, the final frontier

DD and I just sat down and went through her 'options' booklet from school. She is 14, and suddenly her life is moving from fun and papier mache animals for homework,into the realms of serious study, exams...work.

It's exciting, a leap into the world; but it's scary too, what if she makes the wrong choice or hates what she chose?

And even if she gets all the results she needs...what next? Things have changed a lot since I left school, and the careers advice I received was terrible anyway.

Which is why I was excited to hear about vInspired.

Vinspired is a charity dedicated to helping young people from all walks of life reach their potential. In the past 5 years vInspired have created over 1 million opportunities for young people to volunteer, laying the foundation for future enterprise and employment. A way to get that vital experience that many employers look for.

Over one in five young people aged 16-24 is out of work. So it’s no longer good enough just to have good grades to get into further education or get a job – young people need to get experience in the workplace. vInspired can help; but that's not all, they have put together a Job Jumpstarter Pack.

The vInspired Job Jumpstarter Pack gives simple but effective tips from how to make an application, to practice interview questions, all based on insight from businesses across the UK and what they are looking for from prospective applicants.

The FREE pack contains:

• CV templates and tips to make a great first impression.
• An interview checklist, test questions and answers to come across as confident and competent.
• Application form advice to get noticed for the right reasons.
• Advice on building a LinkedIn profile to build networks
• How to get voluntary experience through vInspired, giving you the experience to get your dream job
• Plus inspiring real life stories from people who’ve been in your shoes, plus online awareness advice and more

Simply Visit http://jumpstarter.vinspired.org/  to get a copy. (and I'll be honest - lots of adults will find this really useful too! )

While DD doesn't quite need to worry about a job yet, I can see it's going to happen very very soon, so it's great to find stuff like this is out there,especially free!

Have you had to face this with your kids yet? Do you have a plan? If you have any other suggestions or links to useful information, do add them in a comment. Thanks

Really?

A few weeks ago I arrived home with some bits and pieces I’d bought from a charity shop. As is the way of charity shops the items I had bought were in a ‘reused’ bag. In this case a smart brown paper one from the well known clothing chain FatFace.


DD saw the bag and asked what I’d been buying.

“Nothing much” I replied “just a few charity shop bits”

She looked at the bag.

“There is a charity for people with really fat faces?!?” she asked in amazement.



How we laughed, it seems my delightfully silly daughter is not brand conscious and she had never heard of FatFace

Magpie Monday

I'm writing this on a Friday due to being a tad busy of late - but I shall link it with MissieLizzie's Blog for Magpie Monday where it shall be admired!

On Monday I popped into town for something or other in my lunch hour. While there I wandered into a new Charity shop I have not seen or visited before and I wasn't hunting for anything (although my current charity shop hand bag had just come all unravelled and broken that very day)

So when fate tapped me on the shoulder and pointed out a fine brown handbag I stopped for a look.

I'm not a designer handbag kind of person. I don't think I have even spent more than £25 on a bag and that was probably a one off. If a bag is over £15 I deem it 'pricey'. But (as the art fans say) ' I know what I like' and I liked this, it was big but not too big, smart but not too smart, casual but not... well you get the picture.

It had lots of sections inside, zip up pockets and compartments, phone pockets. It was, in short, lovely.

It was also £7.50. in  Charity shop! I paused but still bought it, even the woman at the counter paused and said "£7.50 is that OK?" as though I may not have noticed, or, more likely, as if I looked like the sort of person that couldn't afford a £7.50 bag.

I have loved the bag since then. Today I read in the BBC News about a lady that stole designer handbags to sell on Ebay and for some reason I peeked at the label in my new bag and googled it.

My bag is a David Jones, RRP of about £50

I feel unexpectedly smug.

You don't know what you've got til it's gone

Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos

Water. I sign petitions for clean water in other countries, I donate and sponsor via World vision. I believe that as a world with the knowledge and resources we have we should be able to ensure at a bare minimum that everyone on the planet has access to clean water. But it’s not until you wake up to a burst water main and no water (as we did this morning) that you realise the enormity of having no water.

And of course we do have some water, in the loft tank, in the toilet cisterns (don’t flush!! We need to keep them full as long as possible until the water is back on so it’s all a bit ‘festival loos’ here in the heat!) But hand washing? Luckily we have wet wipes and hand gels but many germs need soap and water to remove them properly. And we have a bit of water in the kettle..

Should we clean our teeth or is the water more usefully saved for drinking on this scorching hot day? No showers or hair washing certainly, no clothes washing. I was lucky and popped out to buy some clean bottled water, I have a car so could nip to the shops before work and there were still (a very few) bottles on the shelves. I managed to buy 5 small bottles. I didn’t have to carry a heavy bucket. For me water collection was a brief inconvenience but imagine if I had to do it every day…

I remember the long hot summer of 1976, standpipes in the street, water rationing, cleaning your teeth with coca-cola (I may have made that up) but I’d forgotten it until today. I also think it might do us good to experience things like that more often, a quick reminder of actually how many amazing things we just take for granted.

So today, a hot day by the coast, schools are closed, some shops, cafes and other businesses will no doubt also have to close due to ‘health and safety” when they have no water, no toilet or washing facilities. Could you cope with no water? For how long? And if you have the luxury of a car and money to buy it bottled had you realised what a luxury that was? I’m not sure I had.

Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos

Today I’m at work, with water, leaving hubby at home, with no water. We have already popped next door to check on the lady that lives there, We will share some of our water with her, she is in her 90s.

So today I’m thinking about water. Let’s make the most of what we have, and share what we can. If you are having a cup of tea as you read this, count yourself lucky, and enjoy.

Charity Tuesday - Lunches and World Vision

For the last few days I've been muttering about finding out more about child sponsorship with World Vision. 
I already donate a regular amount each month, not a lot but it's regular and helps with all manner of horrible situations around the world. Sometimes when a new humanitarian disaster looms I top up with a larger donation. But I loved the idea of sponsoring a child, I guess when you have a child of your own you really do become a parent of all children, you can't help yourself, you feel actual pain at seeing a child in distress (OK maybe not the whining kid at the check out in Sainsbury's but most kids) and then when Jessie J shaved her head for Comic Relief and said she did it because she didn't want it to be an instant thing, because she wanted a reminder that charities need money all the time, it was a nudge for me to get on with it.

The minimum amount to sponsor a child with World Vision is 75p a day. £22.80 a month.

Then today the Guardian asked people on Twitter to Tweet pictures of school lunches, with hilarious results. Of course it started off OK, a few lunch boxes (DD's included) with wholemeal rolls and some fruit, then sushi, then humus and suddenly we were into middle class one-up-manship and it all went a bit ... Well see for yourself (Click here for the sensible pictures and here for the silly ones - it may be hard to tell the difference)

DD's Lunch today , featuring a roll she made for herself

And I thought about kids around the world that have no lunch at all, no crisps, (probably never seen a crisp) no bread, nothing, breakfast if they are lucky, a long walk to school (if they are lucky) and maybe a meal later after chores, and I had the final push I needed to ring World Vision and get on with it!

So, later this month we will receive our sponsor pack. We are sponsoring a little girl in Uganda with the rather cute name Kiiza. I can't wait to 'meet' her, apparently she is 5, is from a family where the dad has left, has 3 siblings and she likes drawing. I am silly excited.

So there's my Charity Tuesday. Do you have a favourite charity? or are you a 'donate to who ever whenever' sort of person? Regular donations? or sporadic ones? 

Hoping everyone's Tuesday is a happy one today.

What's this? #teamhonk ? Postcard!!

I was quite excited when I saw that some bloggers I know were off to Ghana to see where the money raised from Red Nose Day actually goes, also excited as I'd lost touch with Ghana since my friend was there for a year doing VSO work at a hospital, she enjoyed every minute (despite getting malaria!) and the people were lovely, my friends and I back in the Uk sent regular gifts to the children (inflateable globes, pencils, the toys from Christmas crackers) and sent my friend tapes of the Archers Omnibus edition to keep her in touch with Britain! So it's lovely today to get this lovely picture and message.

This photo is taken in a classroom in a school situated on the edge of a slum in Accra. These children were being taught synonyms when we arrived and we were shown their exercise books - such neat handwriting! 


This is a digital postcard sent from TeamHonk (www.mammasaurus.co.uk; www.aresidence.co.uk; www.mummybarrow.com ) during their travels with Comic Relief in Ghana celebrating #goodwork. 

For the past 25 years the money raised through Red Nose Day has been changing the lives of the poorest and most disadvantaged people in the UK and Africa. Let’s Keep Up the Good Work. 

Find out how at rednoseday.com For other digital postcards please do check out the linky on www.teamhonk.org Badge code: 

The one with Jason.....and near nudity, and lust..oh and charity

So those people that know me well (and yes Twits I include you) will know that I have something of a crush on Jason Bradbury.

There are many reasons, he is geeky and clever and funny.........oh and he has a rather nice body. Luckily he knows I have a crush on him so I can blog about it with only minimal embarrassment. My husband also knows about my crush, he finds it funny.

We (as a family) have watched The Gadget Show for a long time and as my crush grew i started following Jason on Twitter. Jason is incredibly nice. No really, he is a really nice bloke. He is of course also an idiot! Always up for a ridiculous challenge, so I'm sure that when he was asked to Join the Swim he leapt at the chance, partly to show off his bod (he's such a floozy!) , partly for the unbelievable challenge but mostly for the charity it will help.

" Sir Richard Branson and Ronan Keating are taking on the ultimate challenge. They’re captaining a team to swim the gruelling waters of the Irish Sea and raise £1million for Cancer Research! 

The Swim is a celebrity-led challenge to cross the Irish Sea from Holyhead to Dublin in a 10-person relay. Almost three times the length of the English Channel, this 56-mile swim hopes to raise £1 million for Cancer Research UK’s lifesaving work.

Will this team of celebrity adventurers beat the odds to swim the most treacherous waters off the British coast? Richard and Ronan are to be joined by Gadget Show host Jason Bradbury, Snog, Marry, Avoid presenter and pop star Jenny Frost and have most recently been joined by Strictly Come Dancing star Pamela Stephenson.

In the time that it is likely to take The Swim team to cross the Irish Sea (40 hours), around 1,400 people will have been diagnosed with cancer in the UK. So Cancer Research UK is calling on everyone to get involved in The Swim and help raise £1million for the charity’s lifesaving work."

So are you still sitting there? are you in awe that a bloke that had such poor swimming technique a few months ago is planning to swim in the Irish Sea?! Well why not donate a few quid while you are still in awe, you know you want to! If you are as crazy as Jason you could even organise a swim of your own..

Let me know if you donate, or if you plan a swim, or just comment with "phwoar!" if you like these pics :-)

I mean, who doesn't like a man in rubber......or a man out of it!

About Cancer Research UK
• Cancer Research UK is the world’s leading cancer charity dedicated to saving lives through research
• The charity’s groundbreaking work into the prevention, diagnosis and treatment of cancer has helped save millions of lives. This work is funded entirely by the public.
• Cancer Research UK has been at the heart of the progress that has already seen survival rates double in the last forty years.
• Cancer Research UK supports research into all aspects of cancer through the work of over 4,000 scientists, doctors and nurses.
• Together with its partners and supporters, Cancer Research UK's vision is to beat cancer.
• For further information about Cancer Research UK's work or to find out how to support the charity, please call 020 3469 6699 or visit www.cancerresearchuk.org

Magpie Monday - the overload edition

My parents are staying for the Bank Holiday weekend and as my mum taught me all I know about charity shop shopping and bargain hunting it was inevitable that we would spend a morning trawling local charity shops.

Despite only a two hour reconnaissance we have an impressive haul! I told her that her bargains should be included on the blog too. so first up are my mum's goodies.

 She bought two pairs of shoes (she's loving wedge heels now they are back 'in' - I'm jealous I can't wear heels due to my CMT)

 She bought a cat print fun fur jacket as she's envious of mine ;-)

 She also bought this lovely embroidered and beaded bag, originally from Accesorize, which I spotted and she nabbed while I was deciding if I needed another handbag!

 A skirt and top, the skirt is linen and the top is a Jaeger one

Two very pretty bowls, the china one to be a soap dish (it is just the right size) , it's very delicate and cute, the glass one she has no idea what to use for but in true Magpie style, she bought it because she liked it!

And then the goodies I bought (which actually are not as awesome)

 

First I was attracted the suave good looks and roguish moustache of Ian Stewart , unable to resist his 50's charms I bought him to play on my retro portable record player.

 I bought a teacup and saucer for Mr Tattooed Mummy with the witty slogan, "I don't go to the Gym - I garden" which is very appropriate.

I bought a small bag for myself featuring My Little Pony - it's quirky and odd and is a source of embarrassment to DD so my work as a parent is going well.

 

 I found the perfect match for a previously found and adored pyrex bowl (see here) so was very happy with that.

I bought two annuals for DD at 50p each (cheaper than a comic!) and she was thrilled.

And I scored a copy of the SIMs (deluxe edition) for PC which I haven't tried but have always wanted to - for £1

So all in all a fine haul. How did you fare? was there a drought? or a flood of great bargains in your life this week?

Posted as part of Magpie Monday over at

Magpie Monday and the further adventures of Mr Tattooed Mummy

So, last week I blogged this, as a link up to Magpie Monday. (If you didn't see it - pop over to have a read - the rest of this is only amazing if you know the back story)

And some bright spark told Mr TM 'he needed one for coffee'. Now we don't drink instant coffee, we have the real deal and it lives in the fridge in an airtight container, so I thought no more about this silly idea.....but Mr TM did not forget.

On Thursday we went to Chicester to row on the canal

(which is lovely and well worth a visit) and after an hour of lovely rowing (in a boat, with oars - not arguing!) , watching ducks, herons and water rodents we had a picnic and then strolled into the town. Unable to resist the lureof a charity shop (Chichester has many) we wandered into a few and Mr TM had (unknown to DD and I) his eyes peeled.......

So! after a trip to the Scope shop, and for the grand total of £4 we are now the proud owners of..............drum roll.............. three matching lidded jars!

but that ladies and gentlemen is only the beginning, for this jar was part of a set......

Including an actual sugar bowl

a small shallow unlidded bowl of no clear purpose (currently holding our dishcloth)

and last but not least two matching mugs!

So that's it! he wins again! I may as well give up! and he's forbidden to buy any more of these jars EVEN if he does see another one! Where are they from? who made them? are they local? we don't know! There is no makers mark! any ideas welcomed.

Posted for

What have we been doing in the sun?

Well we went to Marwell Zoo which was amazing and lovely.

The space the animals have there is great and the giraffe (our favourite animal ...almost) were roaming round a water hole almost as if they were 'at home' in Africa, on such a hot day we could be forgiven for thinking we were actually there!

We ate delicious Buffalo burgers while watching the buffalo (I loved that!) and we ate icecream while staring at sleeping tigers.

We sniggered at sleeping tapirs, and looked at the pigmy hippo grazing.

Rhinos amongst the blossom, and otters nibbling crab claws.

The day could not have been better! and we even have a new favourite animal, the fossa, slinky streak of madagascan killing machine that  he is!

So if you want a day out with too much to do - I recomend Marwell! Simples.

Oh I nearly forgot - buy your tickets online for discount AND avoid the queue to get in when you arrive!!

(Amazingly this post is not sponsored! LOL)