Showing posts with label CMT. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CMT. Show all posts

5.9.17

Living with an invisible illness



Charcot-Marie-Tooth can be an invisible illness. It isn't always. Some people with Charcot-Marie-Tooth are in wheelchairs or wear leg braces/supports or use walking aids. Many of us have clawed toes and fingers. Some have curved spines.

But it can be invisible and in the early stages it often is. Charcot-Marie-Tooth, named for the three Drs that discovered and diagnosed it, is a type of (oddly common) neuropathy that affects both motor and sensory nerves. It is usually inherited. In fact, it's other name is Hereditary motor and sensory neuropathy.

I was diagnosed with CMT in my 30s after years of being bad at sport and even bad at walking! I was teased as a teen and have struggled in some jobs due to my poor motor skills (very weak hands and clawed fingers). It was a relief to be diagnosed.

Knowing why you can't do what everyone else can is actually very liberating. I can tease myself now, shout "oh you silly helpless cripple!" when I can't remove the bank card from the ATM (no pincer grip with my fingers), and I can use a walking stick on days I feel especially wobbly.

And that's what I wanted to tell you. You might see people park in a disabled bay, with a blue badge of course (I don't have one yet, I may reapply, but last time I tried I was deemed fit enough to walk far enough to get by without one), you might see them get out of the car and pop into a shop, they don't look very disabled do they?

You might see an attractive young lady or handsome young guy wait at the foot of a flight of stairs because both sides of the stairs have people coming down holding the handrail, why don't they walk up the centre? They look young and fit. (I cannot walk up or down a flight of stairs without holding either the wall or a handrail, my balance is simply too poor - I once fell down an escalator on the London underground due to the crowds and people pushing)


You might see someone leave the pub and stumble into the gutter, are they drunk? (TBF they might have CMT and be drunk - *me)

You might see someone in a wheelchair get up and walk, where there are a few steps, to help their mate who has to get the chair down the steps. Has there been a miracle?

Maybe a wheelchair user gets up to reach up to a high shelf in a supermarket, are they playing a prank?

Maybe a women is crying because she can't open a water bottle, what's wrong with her?

Charcot-Marie-Tooth (and many other illnesses) can be hidden,they are still there, lurking beneath the surface, we don't want to be ill, we don't want to be weak. We just want to be able to do the things that able bodied people do every day with out thinking about it.

So this September (and always) think about invisible disabilities, but particularly Charcot-Marie-Tooth as September is awareness month. Try and remember that when a person that appears visibly fit asks to take the lift rather than the stairs, they might not be 'lazy' (if I had a £ for every time work colleagues have joked that I'm lazy when I take the lift I'd have £28) they might need to use the lift. When they take an age to descend a staircase, clinging to the handrail there could be a reason beyond what you can see.

When a grown up asks you to open their Pepsi, think of the embarrassment they already feel, the bravery it has taken to ask a stranger, they don't need to be laughed at or called weak (all of this especially important to tell teens as they start school or college too - CMT gets worse as you age but embarrassment at asking for help from peers increases). Lend a hand when you can.

Be patient, be considerate, be kind.




Image Copyright: designer491 / 123RF Stock Photo and nd3000 / 123RF Stock Photo

18.11.16

What I wanted most as a child

Written for the Post40Bloggers blog prompt Number 82

Something you desperately wanted when you were a child


When I was younger I was terrible at PE. I mean terrible. I had no balance, I was slow; running seemed so easy for everyone else, they made it look simple and fun, they didn't get left behind or fall over and graze their knees. But from about the age that 'Sports' Day' became a huge memory in  my childhood (aged about 9 maybe?) PE day became a day of horror.

I would try all manner of feeble excuses to not take part, faking coughs, sprained ankles, headaches. I would take an age to get changed, volunteer for anything that needed doing that didn't involve actual sport. Fetching the basket balls, handing out and collecting the tabards, setting out the cones...

But Sports' Day itself was a nightmare. Even back in the 70s schools tried to be inclusive, but I didn't qualify to be in any 'proper' races, mine was the ignominy of the 'special' races, full of fat children, wheezing breathless asthma sufferers, and wobbly weak kids, kids like me. And even in these races I did not surge to victory, we stumbled and gasped our way down the 100 yard track like unenthusiastic hamsters, passing the finishing line with the simple joy that it was all over for another year. Nearby the rest of the school waited watching, I imagined them hating us all for being so pathetic.
child standing on a wall 70s

I didn't join in running games in the playground, I was dreadful at catching a ball. When I turned 12 I briefly enjoyed cross country running, mainly as we all departed at various times, spaced out, there was no way to see how badly you were doing (until arriving back last after the showers were finished and everyone was already in Maths) and you could jog/stumble along the paths in the woodland as slowly as you liked, with no one judging you.(except the aforementioned maths teacher!)

I dabbled with throwing the javelin at age 13 and no one was killed, so I'll take that as a success, but despite my height and long arms I didn't seem to have the strength to fling the javelin very far.

As soon as I was in the sixth form I eschewed sport altogether. Finally I had the power to control my own free time at school and I chose chess. Again I was with the nerds and the geeks, but I was used to it by now, they were my people.

So where is this post going? with its whining and self pity? Well at age 34 I was diagnosed with Charcot-Marie-Tooth (Hereditary Motor and Sensory Neuropathy) and suddenly it all made sense! The weakness, the bad balance, the stumble, the tripping due to foot drop. I wasn't dreadful at sport! I was not bad at all considering I was disabled!

So this post is a reminder to myself. What I desperately wanted as a child was to fit in, to be sporty, to be one of the runners, to be a winner on sports day. But I'd have settled for knowing why, knowing why I was last.

29.4.13

Festivals for the (mildly) disabled

I have Charcot-Marie-Tooth Disease, I am a mother and I work full time as an IT Manager.
CMT has probably shaped who I am the most as it’s been with me the longest, although it was not diagnosed until I was 36, I had been showing symptoms since my early teens and I had had some surgery on my feet in my twenties. My hands’ clawing was at first assumed (by me) to be related to my job and excessive computer use but a keen neurologist said that as soon as he saw me walk across the room he knew I had CMT! My main symptoms are weakness, tiredness and poor balance.
 

CMT certainly doesn’t define me though. I am a keen camper and  part time festival hippy. Every summer I can hardly wait for the weather to be good enough to tempt me out in my tent. I am a minimalist Glamper! No electricity hook up but plenty of bunting, solar powered fairy lights and flowery deckchairs. My husband doesn’t share my camping bug so I camp with my 13-year-old daughter.
 

To ensure I can get the tent up on my own I use a Dutch Pyramid style tent, one most would think of as ‘old fashioned’, but due to their reliance on one main centre pole they are simple to put up even when you are alone, have poor balance and weak hands. I actually own three tents (one painted for festival use) and only threats from my husband have prevented more purchases. Ebay is a terrible danger to the camping obsessive.
 


I usually start camping in March or April and go away as many weekends as I can until October, last year we camped for Halloween which was cold but fun. But the best use of the tent is to attend a music festival for a long weekend, letting my hair down, entwining it with flowers and being a hippy for a while.
 

This year I’ll be taking my daughter to Glastonbury, Wilderness and Camp Bestival again, a fantastic music festival in Lulworth in Dorset that is family friendly, very safe and enormous fun.



For anyone that hasn’t been to a festival I can recommend it as a way to relax; even the uneven ground can be overcome if you take your time, there is no hurry to do anything, lots of people are drinking, so my wobbly gait and odd stumbles go unnoticed.



For those that can’t face pitching a tent (although that is the best bit) many festivals have ready-pitched tents, yurts, gypsy caravans, and disabled areas close to the action to save the long walks. I'm not 'disabled enough' to qualify for a spot in the disabled camping section and don't use a wheelchair, I'd love to hear from campers or festival goers that cope using a wheelchair on site, I imagine that unless it's very wet a motorised wheelchair would cope ok, but spare batteries? 

Don’t be fooled into thinking that festivals aren’t out there for you! There are hundreds
of festivals every year from small beer festivals, to huge well-known music festivals. Local festivals or those of special interest are often more fun than the larger ones.


We like smaller festivals where there is dressing up, music, food and general silliness, on a smaller scale,  this year we are off to the Findon Faerie Festival in May

One thing I did invest in was a festival trolley. You can hire them but I use mine all through the festival as transport and instant seat! (I've got a well trained helper)

 

For information on these and other festivals
http://www.magicalfestivals.co.uk/
http://www.efestivals.co.uk/festivals/
http://www.campbestival.net/

http://www.wildernessfestival.com/

article originally published in CoMmeNT Magazine in 2011 (updated for this blog post)

15.11.10

I'm a Twitterholic - don't judge me

When did you join twitter? (You can find the exact date at bwitterday.com)
I had an account for 6 months or so, which I deleted when hubby said I was addicted. He told me to create a new one when I was so grumpy without twitter! This account was started
September 22, 2009


Why did you join twitter?
I didn't want to, it sounded awful and I loved facebook (which I have now deleted! oh fickle online person I am) but Stephen Fry seemed to rate it so I joined to see what it was like.


Who is/was your oldest follower? Who did you follow first? Tell me all about them. (firstfivefollowers.com will give you this info)

The First person I followed was Stephen Fry

My first 5 followers on the new account (so they must have missed me!) were: @saraheadworth @StoatsJackson @ti_bo @LivingWithCMT @JasonBradbury.

Stoats is a lovely cuddly funny guy well worth a follow :-) I have a crush on Jason Bradbury, Ti_bo is a cutie of the nefarious type, the CMT account is a hereditary condition I have too, we share symptoms :-) Sarah is a nice relatively normal person haha



Do you have any celebrities following you or have you ever had a DM from a celeb?

not DMs but lots of @replies (depending on your idea of celebrity I guess!) I've had tweets from Graham Lineham, Alexsander(The Meerkat) , Paul Daniels,  Stephen Fry, Chris Moyles, and I chat fairly regularly with  Jason Bradbury, Andy Stanton, Matt Kirshen I tend to star them, so check my favourites.


If you could follow anyone who is not on Twitter – alive or dead, real or fictional – on Twitter, who would it be?

would be good to follow a blog of someone really real but also who is secretive in real life or who no one knows much about, God would be great though! But I bet he'd tweet fast


Which came first Twitter or the Blog?

The blog. No readers, but the blog.

15.3.10

Something I did and continue to do, I think I'm good at it!


Some information about me that I didn't know for many years, I have Charcot-Marie-Tooth also known as CMT and Hereditary Sensory and Motor Neuropathy. I've added a link there so you can pop off and read up on it if you like. It's OK I'll wait, go on....go read, we have time.

OK all done? so now you know I have issues with balance, my muscles don't work right, I can't feel stuff (or sometimes, oddly can feel stuff more intensely) and cold makes me freeze up completely.

Ok onward, what did I do that was so great? I made a new person! a whole new person! perfect in every last detail, and I popped her out the way I wanted to! I had minimal pain relief, and there was water....

Now I don't know about you, but creating a whole new person? Seems pretty damn fantastic to me! a real miracle and the pope can make you a saint if you do a miracle, personally I think all mums qualify, and yes I know we need the dad to help a bit at the beginning but 9 months of growing a baby is what we mums do! And some of us continue to be the only source of food for that baby for months after that when we feed that bundle of sweet wriggliness with milk from our own bodies. See there is another super power right there! We make milk! (I know all mammals do all this but you know - this is all about ME!)

OK so here is the birth story (men and non-mums may now be bored and are allowed to skip down the page if they like, there are pictures later, not gory ones, nice ones)

I had no idea about the CMT when I became pregnant, or until about 2 years afterwards. I was 34 when I got pregnant and was just outside the 'older mum' label! But at the birthing class while there were other mums in their 30s it was obvious that over 30 and a first time mum was slightly unusual (not so now but this was 10 years ago). So there I was 34, odd one out and wildly excited! I was making a baby!!

I enjoyed every second of being pregnant, I wasn't excessively tired (not more than normal anyway! tiredness it seems is relative and I am permanently tired due to the CMT!), and I enjoyed throwing up (yes really because it meant I was PREGNANT!) I commuted to London and worked 10 hour days until a few weeks before the birth, I was super mum! (I did not like the sods that never gave up a seat on the train for a hugely pregnant lady by the way - so if that's you and you are by chance reading this, shame on you! when you are pregnant it's hard to balance on a swaying train, your legs ache and you are often tired, and feeling sick, give up your seat!)

So pregnancy went well, despite constant referrals to Drs (by the nurses) as I was SFD (small for dates) until finally a lovely Dr wrote VERY SLIM MUM on my chart and highlighted it!( I never did go up a bra size, despite being turned away from maternity bra shop 3 times as the nice lady fitter was certain my boobs would suddenly get bigger.) Baby was growing fine and as the weeks passed my excitement grew. On her due date, despite a 3 mile walk with the dogs, nothing......... so I was booked for induction in 10 days time.....luckily for me lovely daughter (known online as DD) had other plans

One evening, exactly a week late at 10pm just as I was getting into bed...my waters broke! so clutching overnight bag and birthplan (lovingly composed some 8 months before) hubby rushed me to the hospital (ignoring repeated requests for him to slow down)...seriously guys do you like this bit? is it that you get to drive like Lewis Hamilton through the town centre for the first time in your life? Do you secretly hope the Police will stop you and then give you an escort, lights and sirens on? It's not necessary in most cases you know! Oh well I guess hubby enjoyed it.

So here's the what I did well bit! (finally i hear you all sigh!) I stuck to the birth plan, all of it! Even in the face of adversity and pressure from the midwife...

I had a TENS machine, and I walked around. I used the birthing pool. I only had gas & air, no epidural (the idea terrified me!!) I wasn't 'cut' - I tore (too much info? sorry about that! i did warn it was birth stuff!). Hubby was with me all the time. DD was born under water in the pool. (and I only swore once, that wasn't in the plan but...hey I was having a baby!) And even though the midwife asked me 3 times if a student could come and watch I stayed firm and said no. We waited for a while before cutting the cord. DD breastfed straight away.

I breast fed. I did not give up despite horrendous problems on day 5, involving a rushed trip back to hospital when DD couldn't latch, I had engorged breasts and we were competing for who could cry most! I used cloth nappies (not at all fashionable or easy 10 years ago) and we washed them ourselves and dried them on the washing line. I took a year off work. We decided that hubby would stay home and be daddy, and he did and it worked great.



And I think I'm still doing well, despite the CMT I do all the things mums do, I take her riding, camping, on holidays. I teach her things, I try and ensure she thinks of others and what is right and wrong, that not all things are easy or black and white, that things need thought. I tell her that I love her, I hug her a lot, I play silly games with her, I also try and give her the freedom she needs to flourish, even when that's scary. (see previous blog post)

My daughter is 10 now and she is caring, bright, funny, pretty, all the things a parent could want from a daughter. She likes makeup and goth clothing, she loves babies and animals, she can swim, ride, roller skate, play the clarinet....

..but maybe I should be just a tiny bit British as it's not really me that is doing all this, I can't claim all the credit, she is just an amazing person, ......


.....and I MADE HER!

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