Book giveaway

Book Giveaway UK only

Who doesn't love a good book,and here is a good one, for kids or the soft hearted adult, a book about friendship by Michael Morpurgo. Open to UK entries only as I'm paying the postage ;-)

This is a brand new paperback edition of The Amazing Story of Adolphus Tips

All you need to do is use Rafflecopter (below) to enter.

Competiton closes Tuesday 7th May
 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Birds, Bees and Pornography

Every so often the subject crops up, should schools discuss (and maybe even show!) porn to the children as part of their sex education and personal development and of course many people shouted "NO!"


NO!!

NO !!!

what are you thinking!?

NO!!!!

But I wonder if the schools may have a point. Porn is everywhere and whether paraents like it or not it's unlikely to go away. Children (and I'm talking of early teens but each day the age seems to reduce) have smartphones or access to smartphones via their peers. One argument was along the lines of "I'd prefer to talk to my children about that myself!" and for a second I agreed but then the opposing view was put forward, and that is pretty clear, not all parents DO talk to their kids about sex and not all want to, in fact the original commenter went on the say

"we've all, as parents, had that horrible, cringeworthy, talk with our kids, about the birds and the bees"

and I thought 'have we?' I know I haven't, I've had quick questions about sex, I've had HILARIOUS conversations about where babies come from, I've read some quite genius children's books on the subject with DD, I've been amazed at the breadth of her knowledge and the breadth of her investigational questioning! But horrible and cringeworthy? Nope.

Because I've always just answered what was asked, always have (we bought Mummy Laid and Egg when she was about 3) . Seems to me like the most simple thing in the world. And even now that DD is 13 she asks questions that surprise me or make me laugh, but nothing that makes me cringe. (Saturday morning comment a case in point "Hmm you two are very jolly this morning, was there fun and frolics last night?" cue my husband and I crying with laughter (and *ahem* not answering! LOL)

But lately she has been asking other questions, questions that start "I saw on TV ...." and it's obvious that some things she sees are confusing (not least the fact she pointed out no one on TV uses condoms, they just cuddle and have sex, so she quite reasonably wanted to know when you would stop to put it on) and while I'm happy to discuss all this there are many parents that are not.

So I think schools SHOULD talk to kids about porn, and about the dangers of sexting, and the risk or pictures online, of photos on phones, of facebook, about respect about the fact that prawn isn't very 'real' (as many wags on twitter have pointed out "Porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.") That people come (unintentional pun honest guv) in all shapes and sizes, that sex can be funny as well as passionate, that stuff can go wrong and you can still be friends with and love your partner, even if there are fanny farts and lost condoms ...I'm straying off the point (another pun, good grief it's turning into a carry on film, not a porn one!)

any way - to cut a long (oh for goodness sake!) story short, I think porn should be discussed in school, and I think parents should talk about sex and relationships at home, and I think boys and girls should be taught respect and caring are as important as 5 minutes of fumbling fun.

what do you think?

Festivals for the (mildly) disabled

I have Charcot-Marie-Tooth Disease, I am a mother and I work full time as an IT Manager.
CMT has probably shaped who I am the most as it’s been with me the longest, although it was not diagnosed until I was 36, I had been showing symptoms since my early teens and I had had some surgery on my feet in my twenties. My hands’ clawing was at first assumed (by me) to be related to my job and excessive computer use but a keen neurologist said that as soon as he saw me walk across the room he knew I had CMT! My main symptoms are weakness, tiredness and poor balance.
 
CMT certainly doesn’t define me though. I am a keen camper and  part time festival hippy. Every summer I can hardly wait for the weather to be good enough to tempt me out in my tent. I am a minimalist Glamper! No electricity hook up but plenty of bunting, solar powered fairy lights and flowery deckchairs. My husband doesn’t share my camping bug so I camp with my 13-year-old daughter.
 
To ensure I can get the tent up on my own I use a Dutch Pyramid style tent, one most would think of as ‘old fashioned’, but due to their reliance on one main centre pole they are simple to put up even when you are alone, have poor balance and weak hands. I actually own three tents (one painted for festival use) and only threats from my husband have prevented more purchases. Ebay is a terrible danger to the camping obsessive.
 

I usually start camping in March or April and go away as many weekends as I can until October, last year we camped for Halloween which was cold but fun. But the best use of the tent is to attend a music festival for a long weekend, letting my hair down, entwining it with flowers and being a hippy for a while.
 
This year I’ll be taking my daughter to Glastonbury, Wilderness and Camp Bestival again, a fantastic music festival in Lulworth in Dorset that is family friendly, very safe and enormous fun.

For anyone that hasn’t been to a festival I can recommend it as a way to relax; even the uneven ground can be overcome if you take your time, there is no hurry to do anything, lots of people are drinking, so my wobbly gait and odd stumbles go unnoticed.

For those that can’t face pitching a tent (although that is the best bit) many festivals have ready-pitched tents, yurts, gypsy caravans, and disabled areas close to the action to save the long walks. I'm not 'disabled enough' to qualify for a spot in the disabled camping section and don't use a wheelchair, I'd love to hear from campers or festival goers that cope using a wheelchair on site, I imagine that unless it's very wet a motorised wheelchair would cope ok, but spare batteries? 

Don’t be fooled into thinking that festivals aren’t out there for you! There are hundreds
of festivals every year from small beer festivals, to huge well-known music festivals. Local festivals or those of special interest are often more fun than the larger ones.

We like smaller festivals where there is dressing up, music, food and general silliness, on a smaller scale,  this year we are off to the Findon Faerie Festival in May

One thing I did invest in was a festival trolley. You can hire them but I use mine all through the festival as transport and instant seat! (I've got a well trained helper)

 

For information on these and other festivals
http://www.magicalfestivals.co.uk/
http://www.efestivals.co.uk/festivals/
http://www.campbestival.net/
http://www.wildernessfestival.com/

article originally published in CoMmeNT Magazine in 2011 (updated for this blog post)

Testing 1, 2, 3 (Ed Balls Day)

I've downloaded the Blogger app for android. So I thought that a quick blog post/review would be a good test of its powers and usability.
First impressions are that its simple to blog from. The only real danger I foresee is the peril of autocorrect!
I can easily start and type a new post, I can add a picture straight from my phone, (though I'm not sure where in the post the picture will appear) I can format things...
Looking at the previous posts screen however it seems that some of the times created (which is used as sort order) are not correct, and I can't seem to look back more than about 20 posts, but that aside, as a fast, on the go blogging app it looks pretty good. So you may get more blog posts from me (you knew there was a downside)
Oh one more test, adding a link ed balls
Things it still needs are, a link to a stats page or "number of views" in the Posts page, and a way to moderate comments direct from the app.
 

Saving money? Save a Pound? No Problem!

When I read Inside The Wendy House's Blog post on saving cash I knew I could add a few top tips myself! Then when I saw it could help me save a few pounds myself with MoneySuperMarket, well I was off and running!

So without further ado here are my ways to save some money, starting with my fabulous new thing....

1. Buy a SmartCafe cafetiere/mug - you can still have real coffee at work (or on the move if you are brave) without paying coffee shop prices.
2. Buy a multipack bag of crisps (or other snack of your choice!) I work and I'm a dreadful snacker - if I buy a bag a day singly it cost 60p a time, but a multibag takes the price down to less than 25p
3. Cancel expensive TV subscriptions. I know not many people will do this, but there is lots of free TV and you don't really NEED it do you? oh ok just check you are getting the best deal...
4. Ensure you are using the best mobile phone deal. Contracts might get you a new phone but they cost more in the long run. A Pay as you go sim (like Giffgaff see my sidebar link) is very cheap, from £5 a month!
5. Check that you really need that paper bill, loads of companies (phone, electricity, gas etc) will reduce your bill if you get only online invoices.
6. Really penny pinchers among you could cut open the end of the toothpaste tube to get the last un-squeezable bit out...
7. But even the less keen should rinse shampoo bottles, bubble bath, washing up liquid, liquid washing detergent etc with water to get the last bits out.
8. Use your washing line if you have one, not a tumble drier
9. Use the internet to compare prices and ensure you are getting the best deal
10. Repair things! In an age of disposable this and that I think we forget things can be repaired! Check out your local cobbler to keep shoes going longer! and invest in a glue gun, lots of toys can be 'saved' that way.
11. Do home baking and use the whole oven, plan ahead, make your own cakes and fill the oven up!
12. Buy cheap food that keeps when it's on special offer. Pasta, rice, lentils etc can bulk out a meal and last a long time in the larder
13. Only eat meat a few times a week. Meat is more pricey that vege food. Try and plan a few meat free days
14. Find out what you can freeze and utilise your freezer, keep sliced bread in it and only defrost what you need to safe mouldy bread. You can freeze milk, butter and cheese too
15. Buy local, avoid paying petrol to drive to a big store and buy fresh produce in small amounts more frequently.
16. Organise clothes swaps with friends of a similar size! (or with kids of similar ages) get 'new to you' clothes for free and clear your cupboards at the same time.
17. Use Caustic Soda to clean drains (not those fancy expensive drain cleaning products) follow the instructions, it's cheaper and more effective.
18. Blog! Enter online competitions and join in, it's fun and you might win things, anything will help from a free book to actual money!
19. Check your washing machine, can you turn the temp down or use an eco wash? that will save time and money.
20. Don't be too proud to use Lidl or other cut price Supermarkets
21. Use ebay to buy things. Lots of nearly new bargains and cheap deals.
22. Use ebay to sell things! Why give things away if they are nearly new? Someone may want it - try ebay or the local free paper
23. Always check online for discount vouchers/codes before you buy something online.
24. Sign up to voucher mailing lists. Pizza Express send me discount vouchers almost weekly!
25. Plan ahead, taking kids out for the day, take drinks, snacks and refillable water bottles.
26. Find free stuff to do with your children so a fun day is not an expensive one! baking, mini treasure hunts, walks in the coutry or local park can all be fun.
27. Use a Kindle or Kobo app on your phone or PC (assuming you don't have an ereader!) and you can download hundreds of free books to read. For all ages
28. Use the library! Not only for books but to read the paper, see magazines and even story times with the kids
29. Don't buy a news paper, so much news is available on the television and online you will save a small fortune (and not miss much to be honest!)
30. Wash your own car. Saving mone on hand washes and car washes, and get some exercise at the same time! (or get the kids to do it!)

 And if you want to enter your own money saving ideas for a chance to win £1000, visit www.moneysupermarket.com/30-ways-to-save-1-pound/ for full details, terms and conditions.

(Picture Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos )

Votes, Cleavage, Awards ...

It was with not a  little shock and amazement, that when perusing the the Brilliance in Blogging shortlist to see if any of the lovely people I know online had been mentioned, that I discovered I was listed!

Last time there was a Blogging Award going I was hosting it and there were no prizes just the joy of winning, and of course it was a fabulous way to find wonderful (and weird) new blogs.

But to be nominated by an actual real person (maybe even you! yes you, reading this right now!) for a BritMums Brilliance in Blogging Award was just .....well Brilliant!

Gratuitous Cleavage Picture to Amass more Votes

And that got me wondering, as I was nominated in the 'Laugh' Category (I don't think they have a 'Rant' category) what have I written that made you laugh?

I looked back over some old posts, some that made me laugh at the time or make me laugh now, and here they are ... are they what made you snigger? If they raise even the tiniest of a smile I'm not too proud to say I would simply Love you to vote for me. Thank you.

• My Top Ten Celebrity Beards - I was a tad tipsy when I wrote it, it still makes me laugh

• The one with Mr Tumble - Funny and a little disturbing

• When 5 Year Olds Swear - because swearing is big and clever

• The one with Horse and Lasagne - say no more

• The one where I lose the plot - actually most posts are like that, this was on saving money

• The one where I am Nemo's Dad - no really, I am

And why not check out some of the other rather fun blogs listed too, after you've voted for me obviously, it wouldn't do to get distracted ....

Ladies, I hope you are perfect,

I blogged about advertising and children.

Then I watched some TV in real time, on a channel with adverts, this meant that I watched actual adverts for actual products on my tellybox for the first time in ages. I am both amazed and appalled. I had not realised how imperfect I am as a woman! I must buy so many things...

so a check list for you ladies, to ensure you are all up to speed on what we need and how we should look because I'm sure some of you, like me, may not have realised! (you were probably busy just being fun and gorgeous naturally - but take a look, )

• are your legs smooth enough that a piece of silk will slide down them if dropped
• are your underarms soft and sweetly scented (and hair free)
• are your eyebrows perfectly shaped
• are your nails long and shaped and glossy and painted
• are you slim, yet curvy
• is your bra giving you the correct amount of sexy cleavage
• are your eyelashes long and fluttery (yet clump free!)
• are your lips plump and kissable with colour that won't fade all day long
• are your feet soft and dry-skin free
• are your toe nails painted baby pink
• is your hair lustrous and long, shiny red and minus any split ends
• do you smell nice
• are your teeth whiter than white and free of pain when you bite an ice cube
• is your tummy flat
• do you look excellent in a bikini
• is your skin free of any blemish, no freckles or 'darker' bits on your skin
• are you free from all wrinkles
• are your eyes bright and clear (there are drops and yes I did think this sounded like something a show dog might need)
• do you have new clothes for 'this season'
• are you fashionable and stylish and in well fitted colourful outfits
• are you, worth it?

Just so you know, I am totally gorgeous, I'm a size 12 (going on 14) I stopped dying my hair and am embracing the grey, I don't shave my legs in the winter (I need the warmth!) What mum has time for nail polish to dry? Not me! Moisturise? maybe if my skin gets so dry I start to fall to bits. I bet you are gorgeous too.

Do what you like, but don't feel that you are less than perfect, you are a human, you are you.

Advertising, children, lies and the internet

When children are small they don't know how to lie. I remember seeing a fascinating program on the TV with Professor Winston explaining that learning that you can say an untruth and be believed is a step to knowing that you are a separate person from your parents (and everyone else) up until that point you don't lie because you assume that what you know every one else knows.

When children begin to lie the lies are often outrageous and hilarious. A face covered in chocolate will still respond "No mummy, I haven't had any chocolate" but this is practice, children are working out which lies work and which don't (all very 'tree in the garden of Eden' allegorical stuff)

When children are in their early teens and maybe before the lies become annoying, now they are 'real' lies, lies about where they are going, who they have seen, what they have done...

So as a parent you teach that lying is wrong, you explain that the truth is important (unless mum asks 'do I look fat in this?') and if you are wise you explain about advertising.

Lots is being talked about lately with regards to children and advertising and one of the reasons that advertising to kids annoys me is that children don't always understand the lies used in advertising (yea yea OK not lies, exaggerated claims?) remember in Toy Story? the ad on TV for Buzz Lightyear - THIS IS NOT A FLYING TOY but even Buzz himself believed what he saw, he believed the hype.





I have explained to Dd from early on about truth and lies, for a long time she believed in the magic finger that could spot a lie if touched to your forehead as you spoke (ironically this was of course a lie) but now she seems fairly OK with the truth, there is sneaking, but not much.

Oddly on the subject of caution online, I have now encouraged her to lie, or at least to avoid the truth! She rarely reveals her real name (I'm the same) we are a secretive sneaky couple. When she rings radio stations to ask for records she invents names and unusual home towns. She is practised in the untruth as well as the truth.

When on twitter she sees accounts promising "follow me and gain 10000 followers in 4 hours!" and I ask 'how many followers do they have?' she quickly sees that for a lie (they have 39 followers if they are lucky usually). Ads on TV now make her sneer like I do, 'remove all wrinkles? with a cream? yeah right' she comments.

Life is so complicated, what is real, what is true, how can children cope in this complicated mixed up world where lies are both encouraged and discouraged. TV shows are fact interspersed with amazing advertising claims. Twitter is a mix of real people and fake. How can we know who can we trust?

I think this blog post is a long and rambling one so kudos to you if you are still reading.Now tell me, do your kids know that adverts might not be 'true'? Do you teach on line safety and lies? Are your kids honest?

Is honesty always the best policy?

Mooncup

It's going to get all TMI for many of you from this point in....you have been warned

Manners Maketh Man

On Saturday I went to the Post Office to post a parcel. I queued with everyone else while only one window was open for service. All very British (and polite) we waited with hardly a murmur. Twenty minutes passed and a second window was opened. The lady in front of me went to be told her passport application was filled in incorrectly and would be rejected

• an aside here, how is this possible? How can you fill in a passport application wrongly? I've filled in many, from the age of about 19, I'm not a genius. I've filled in forms for adult and child passports. They come with clear instructions, and a whole sheet about photos and signatures. How hard is it to understand 'do not write outside the box' or 'use a clear X in black pen only' sheesh people you don't deserve a passport.

anyway *removes judges wig* she was given a long explanation of the million and one things she had failed at and still we all waited. Finally a window was free, it was my turn! There was no trendy announcement system in this little post office so i headed to the window to be told, tersely "I haven't actually called anyone yet, you will have to wait" 
Now I don't know why I didn't ask if he was always that rude or if today was a special day, but what's wrong with "I'll be with you in a minute" and a smile.
I was told off! Told off for being a customer, who had waited (politely remember) for nearly half an hour to post a parcel!

I waited, finally he asked what I wanted.

"I would like to send this parcel, first class please"
 "Do you want it guaranteed to arrive Monday?"
 "Oh I don't know, how much is that? "
"£6.99"
".....and how much is first class?"
" ...£3"
"erm, no then first class is fine, thank you" he grumbled something, took parcel and money and I left.

Later I offered some things on Freecycle, One item was brand new, still in box, worth about £15. I thought I'd have a few replies and I was right, but I was unprepared for the tone.

Actual Replies

• can you deliver to (with address)
• have you still got
• can pick up now (about 3 of these)
• yes please (more than 5 like this)
• when can i collect

Now the thing is this was the ENTIRE message, no corrections, notice there is no 'hello' no sign off with name etc amazing! And RUDE!

When did this being rude become a thing? I know I sound like Victor Meldrew but politeness is the oil that helps society keep going without grinding to an aggressive halt. It seems to be the norm today for parents to not 'force' a child to say 'sorry' or 'please' or 'thank you' under the grounds that there is no point if it doesn't mean anything. But I think it does have a purpose, it keeps people calm, politeness helps in a society that is overcrowded, like dogs lowering their tails in a pack, we need to be polite. It is important.

 Image credit: icetray / 123RF Stock Photo

I finished my day angry (and ranty hence this blog) no doubt with blood pressure raised. Of course you could argue that's my problem, but shouldn't we all be looking out for each other? Shouldn't society want to remain peaceful? If saying 'sorry' or 'thank you' can diffuse a situation why not say it? It doesn't cost anything. But not saying it might be costing society as a whole.

What do you think? Is politeness important? Do you teach it to your children?

Woman have many faults, men have only two

You've all heard the rhyme? "Women have many faults, men have only two, everything they say and everything they do" Yes, haha, very witty, very pithy, very ... untrue!

You know when you are at a job interview and they ask you 'What is your greatest fault?" and (if you are cunning) you have planned some quick witted answer like "I'm a perfectionist, often working late to ensure my work has no errors!" or "I'm a workaholic, preferring to work than spend time at home!" or "I have a rather silly love of spreadsheets, people say I'm boring but I like to think of it as organised!" well this (and the silly rhyme) got me thinking about my faults. 

This is a blog, I can be honest right? No one will judge me? This is the friendly un-judgey interwebs (wry smile)

So..my faults. The more I thought about it the more I realised my biggest faults (IMO probably not my long suffering husband who would opt for 'untidy' and "forgetful" and maybe "disorganised") are related to my shyness. Stop laughing  at the back. Yes I realise I tweet all sorts, blog about all manner of things, send photos of my nipple to other websites for the world to see, but that's not the sort of shyness I mean. I 'll explain...

Fault Number One

I appear standoffish and snobby, brusque or overbearing. I can be very slow to warm to new people (DD is the same) this makes me quiet, I might lurk on the edge of groups, trying to join a conversation but not doing well. being either over familiar or too silent. People think I'm being a snob because I don't talk to them, or assume I'm unfriendly. I'm not and once I know you I'm the life and soul, totally fun and hilarious, massive ego, love myself! (wait that sounds like a fault too ...) moving on ...

Fault Number Two

I use humour a lot. I can seem flippant and uncaring. I'm far from that. I try to diffuse difficult or upsetting situations with humour, a reason people on twitter like my tweets i think, but if you don't know me, or don't know me well I can seem crass and insensitive. I'm really very caring, sad things affect me deeply and when I can, I'll help. DD has this trait too, too much empathy on many an occasion (let's not revisit the traumatic Finding Nemo incident - scarred for life!)

And these faults are because I'm shy. A deep desire to be liked, a fear you will not like me. A real urge to get to know you, to be your friend, a proper friend, but also a funny one.

I do talk to people and I do make an effort to be more outgoing (some early advice from Dame Edna, of all people, helped there, she suggests you 'act as if' - so if you are shy 'act as if you are outgoing' and soon you will be, and it does work...a bit,) but I'm still me.

I hope if and when I meet any of you at events this year you take this into account...my online TM persona may be a few metres away from the real me, but the real me is worth knowing, honestly.

(to confirm how shy I am - the Cheshire Cat above is a hat I wore to the Olympics in London)

What are your faults? Are you brave enough to tell? Are you shy? Is your online persona the real you? Would love you to comment.

The Joy of Bedsits

The joy of bedsits.

Ah bedsit land, so fabulous that Soft Cell wrote a song about you...

Who am I kidding. The only joy in my teen bedsit was that I was free(ish) to do what I liked (within the confines of the landlords rules). 

So I could 

• play music (quietly,and before 10pm only). 
• Watch what I liked on TV (on a tiny black and white portable and only quietly and before 10pm as with the music). 
• Invite friends round (no parties, all guests to leave by 10pm - ABSOLUTELY NO SLEEPOVERS). 
• Bathe when I liked (not at all true as I had to share a bathroom and while in the bath had to steel myself for the creepy guy from down the hall and his doorknob rattling antics, maybe he hoped that one day I'd forget to lock the door?) 
• Go to bed when I liked (usually 10pm as it was so silent and felt like lights out time in a dormitory) 
• Cook whatever I liked (actually whatever I could afford since the rent ate up most of my money) - bedsit recipes are a *whole* other post!

And there's the rub. I was spending all my cash on rent and my best mate had somehow wangled a mortgage and bought a small flat! She had more that one room! In fact she had an amazing 4 rooms and a hall! She didn't share a bathroom with a mixture of oddballs, she didn't have neighbours that would rat her out to a landlord if she listened to a movie after 10pm. She used to delight in ironing naked (something I never dared to do as my landlord often appeared at weird times to 'check the electricity meter'...) She had a whole kitchen! a lounge and a bedroom too and more importantly she could choose her own wall colour and curtains. I cannot begin to tell you how envious I was and her mortgage was about the same as my rent but she was actually getting to keep something for the deal. And of course she was 'on the property ladder' a weird phrase but accurate as most people climb ever upwards.

Now I'm a grown up and we have our own house, my husband and I. I no longer have curfews, or worries that the electric meter will snarl up on a bent 50p (I think in this modern time they no longer take cash?), I can relax in the bath (not even locking the door!) and choose my own carpet. Of course I have to buy it too but that's a small price to pay compared to the freedom.

I know there are lots of times renting is best, but for me, feeling that the money I'm spending is actually buying something, something as substantial as a house, is a great feeling. Having done both I'd rather pay a mortgage than a rent.  I guess it's the old 'an Englishman's home is his castle' or some such :-)

 We have a teen (just!) daughter and I wonder what the future holds for her. I would love her to travel, to find her place in the world but I would like her to be grounded too. I know that she wants a family and she will probably be keen to settle down, but who knows. I just hope  I will be there to support her in her decisions, a wise head? or a supporting arm, or just someone with a cup of tea to compare notes about being a teen and saving for that first time you can step through a door and think 'this will be mine'. So I need to be prepared. I need to read up on mortgages. I need to be ready to stand guarantor if necessary (that makes me feel terribly grown up) but more importantly I need to browse 'home' magazines, because when you own your own home the world is your oyster.



All Pictures in this post Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos

This blog post is sponsored but the words and opinions are mine.