Camp Bestival 2017 as a family holiday

When I tell people I'm off to Camp Bestival I get varying responses. Anything from "festivals? aren't they full of drugs and drunks?" to "how much?! I can't afford that for a few days in a field!" so I thought I'd look at some of the myths around festivals, and explain why Camp Bestival is actually the perfect holiday for you and the kids.

The popular stereotype of a festival is of muddy drunken revellers, peeing on tents and raving late into the night before falling over guy ropes, peeing on your tent and then crashing out on someone else's inflatable bed, only to awaken to a vomit stained sleeping bag, your car keys missing, and it's raining again for the 3rd day. The portable chemical toilets are overflowing and you lost your wallet so you can't buy a beer.

And while it's true I might (have) been to a festival or two that are similar to that (not the losing my wallet bit - I'm very security conscious at a festival) Camp Bestival is very far from this sad damp image. (A big plus point is that the festival site is on chalk, so never muddy!)

Camp Bestival is predominately a family festival. So most people have kids with them. They tend to be happy to have a drink, but take their mummy and daddy roles pretty seriously, so there is a lack of vomiting drunks, in fact, wailing toddlers are more common.

As the festival is aimed at families with kids, there is loads to do for children. So the wailing form the aforementioned toddlers is more likely to be because they can't fit all the fun into their day than because they are bored.

The price of any festival is going to be higher than camping alone, because they are providing a camp site, toilets, water points, as well as activities, musical acts and insurance. If you look at all the things a festival provides it's easier to see it's value for money.

Camp Bestival starts on Friday and finishes on Sunday night, but you can arrive from Thursday lunchtime and camp until Monday lunchtime so actual nights camped can be 4.

There are loads of free things to do. You can bring your own food and drink which can save some money.

Free things include all the musical acts of course, and this year we are looking forward to Madness, Mark Ronson, Louisa Johnson and Mr B The Gentleman Rhymer to name just a few. Surfing dudes will be thrilled to hear Brian Wilson is performing on Sunday. But music almost takes a back seat at Camp Bestival, which Rob da Bank (its founder) designed as part way between a festival and a holiday camp (hence the name), with the holiday camp feel in mind there are Blue Coats to entertain the children in all manner of silliness, an Insect Circus (with real insects), tree climbing and all sorts of woodland and outdoor fun, many different craft activities, comedy acts, Punch and Judy shows, clay modelling, silly science shows, musical theatre, early morning cinema, discos and more! all included in the admission price!

There are extras you can pay for, such as face painting, helter skelter rides, a big wheel or a bounce on the world's biggest bouncy castle too, but the strong minded parent can use distraction techniques to avoid spending too much extra if they are prepared!

For the grown ups there are all of the above (I love the cinema in a tent early in the day with a coffee and a croissant) and a Jam Jar cocktail bar, excellent food stalls, late night discos and stand up comedy.

Camp Bestival is one of the least stereotypical 'festivals' I've ever been to and I love it. We have been going for years now and DD still likes to go even at 17 because she likes the lack of unpleasantness you usually get a festivals, I don't think I've ever seen anyone drunk (Unless you count me tipsy - in which case, it happens every year) and I rarely get a whiff of weed. Security staff there are always polite but firm (ooh er!) and I've always felt safe as a single woman camping with my daughter.

And loos? well a festival loo is really what you make it and most mums and dads seem polite enough to leave a loo as clean as they can. After all - parents are made of wet wipes! The loos are cleaned and emptied regularly and over the years they have improved as festival staff have learned from the odd problem encountered. So yes they are portable chemical toilets, but they are generally well cared for.

So for your money you really are getting a good deal. Why not consider it as a family holiday? Maybe have the start of the week at an ordinary campsite and then finish the week on a high with a family festival that really is first class.

Find out about all of this years acts and grab tickets at Camp Bestival's Website

Disclosure : I'm an official blogger for Camp Bestival and so this year I'm attending as their guest

Summer at Camp Bestival

It's still raining. I find it hard to get excited about the summer when the long lighter evenings are so ... damp. The thought of pitching the tent and doing all the fun things that happen at festivals normally fills me with glee but I'm finding even that hard to summon up today. The only solution is to read cheerful blog posts about Camp Bestival. That glorious festivals and holiday camp by the sea in SUNNY Dorset.

So I wandered the interwebs and grabbed the best posts to read, so you don't have to hunt about. Just sit back, sip our tea and click...

First off let's zoom on our festival bus over to You Baby Me Mummy for a glorious look at photos of 2015 that will be a great start, a reminder for us all and a teaser for anyone that hasn't been before! After a few jam jar cocktails we will stagger on ...

and would you believe it - 76 Sunflowers only has a fab set of photos too! Well now I really am getting more in the mood.

Seeing those gorgeous blue skies....

Now I have never taken a toddler to a festival - so struggle to think of the sorts of things that parents of young kids need to know - luckily I found a great blog with advice for you! Hooray! Grab the suncream, wet wipes and juice cartons, pack the trolley and trundle down to the main stage with your little ones. For some tips on taking babies and toddlers to a festival check out Enchanted Pixies hints.

And Louise over at My Gorgeous Boys took her little ones and wrote about her experiences. Some lovely photos there to inspire you too - look at the joy on those little faces!

I have been going to Camp Bestival both as a regular festival goer and as an official blogger every year since 2010. I love it every year, even more now that Rob Da Bank realised that the older kids needed something extra - and they now have the Den for teens, perfect for DD as she's now 16.

And Penny over at A Residence Blog has been going for a fair few years, checkout her video from 2012 here.

Over at The Parenting Trials excitement and planning is the order of the day! As a list of 5 things that are essential not to be missed is emerging...what would yours be? Have you seen the official Camp Bestival Line up? Amazing! I challenge you to only pick 5 'must sees'!

I'll leave you with a list of top tips of things to do see or take to Camp Bestival, have you forgotten anything? Got your glo-sticks?

OK I'm proper in the mood now - sod the rain, grab your wellies (just in case) and join us! Oh and before I go - here is a link to 2012 at Camp Bestival in which I dressed as a horse - I wonder what I should dress up as this year?

Let me know if you are going to be at Camp Bestival - I'm on twitter at @tattooed_mummy or like my facebook page.

Wordy Wednesday with Josh Sutton - The Guy Rope Gourmet!

This week's Wordy Wednesday has a foodie theme (and a camping one! well it is me who chooses the authors!!) So let me introduce the delicious (see what I did there?) Josh Sutton, author of The Guy Rope Gourmet - A Camping Cook Book.

Josh thinks (and who could argue) that being in a tent is no reason to only eat rubbish food, but he also realises that we are not all genius chefs, so he has set out to help us all eat well while camping. He is a member of The Guild of Food Writers, with a degree in Arabic with Middle Eastern  Islamic Studies and he also has a Masters in Professional Housing Studies.

Josh writes and illustrates a monthly column as the Guy Rope Gourmet in Camping magazine, as well as writing the odd feature every now and again. He likes to illustrate his work with drawings. 
He is currently writing his second book

And so I quizzed him. Starting at the beginning..

Why did you start writing?
I came to writing relatively late in life, having attended further education and then my first degree as a mature student I discovered that I thoroughly enjoy the process of research and writing. The food and travel writing that I do is just an extension of that really.

What 3 things (not including paper, computer, pens) would you like to facilitate a good days writing?
Coffee, a clear head and a looming deadline always seem to get the words flowing.

Do you write to a schedule, eg every day or three times a week, set times, etc or do you write as and when the mood strikes?
I have a study at the top of the house with an amazing view over the surrounding countryside. I usually park myself up there after the school run in the morning and after an hour or so of messing around on social media, I get down to the project at hand, unless of course I’m on a research trip. In which case I will find a local library to sit down in. ~~ I'm slightly disappointed to hear you don't pitch a tent in the garden and write there to be honest ;-)

What are your favourite biscuits?
I rather think I ate my fair share of biscuits in my, let's say, more hedonistic days. Boasters were a favourite back then, but nowadays I’ll settle for a Rich Tea. ~~ back to the simple life eh?


What book are you reading at the moment?
I’m reading ‘Common Ground’ by Rob Cowen. I caught him reading from it and talking about the book at The Good Life Experience this summer. I was captivated. It’s a wonderful read.

Do you use social media (facebook, twitter, instagram etc) to engage with your readers, do you think it helps sales and do you find it fun or a chore?
I spend a great deal of time on social media, twitter in particular and I do enjoy engaging with my readers. I has most certainly helped with gaining commissions and getting my name about. I was a long time in coming to Twitter, and I frequently wonder whether everyone has moved on to a new cooler social media site that I don’t yet know about. (Follow Josh on twitter at GuyRopeGourmet )

What was your last dream about?
I turned fifty very recently and organised a huge party for all my friends. I fed seventy six people over a weekend. Just a few days before the do, I dreamed that one of my pals organised a separate party in another location and no-one came to mine! ~~ooh the old anxiety dream, mine have become increasingly surreal as I approach 50 I have to confess!

If reading and writing were banned, what would you do instead?
Play guitar and tell stories ~~ round the camp fire?

If you could cross a fruit or a vegetable with an animal what would you pick and why? I am going with an ant/chestnut this week, annoying to find you pitched a tent on a nest but at least you could make nice soup with them.
I would cross a lemming with a hot potato, in the hope that it would kill and cook itself. ~~yummy


Where is your ideal holiday?
Camping in North Wales. It’s a magical place and I never get bored. Spain is also pretty close contender. I would love to spend two or three months driving around Spain with my family in the camper van. If only I could get someone to pay me for that gig. ~~ food in Spain is amazing, I'm just back from a holiday in Wales and having put on 2lbs in a week I can vouch for the fact the food there is pretty good too!

Do you prefer eating or cooking?
I prefer cooking. I love the idea of looking after guests and feeding them well. Guests will constantly approach me in the kitchen saying "can I do anything to help?” and my answer is always, “yes pour yourself another drink and see if anyone else needs one!"

Massive thanks for taking part Josh. And thank you reader (yes you) for reading. I hope you enjoyed it an if it's given you an appetite why not pop out and grab a copy of the book, you could try recipes like Smokey Bonfire Pasta - appropriate for this week!

You can buy Josh's Book from Amazon : Guy Rope Gourmet a Camping Cook Book

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Warm thoughts of summer

Brrrrr I hate winter. I dislike Autumn too if I'm honest and even spring can be a bit miserable. I'm a summer kind of girl. All of my muscles work better in the warm, I sort of slow down and get stiff (ooh er missus) in the winter, the perils of CMT.

So about now, even though Christmas is coming, and that's lovely I get a bit down. Grey days, early nights, cold, wet, windy.

So a cheery email to remind me of Summer Fun is just what I needed! Huzzah for Camp Bestival! Having had a super time there this year (one rainy morning not withstanding) I'm looking forward to August 2015 - fun in the sun! A Holiday Camp Festival for all the family, Curated by the simply brilliant Rob Da Bank and his wife (and kids no doubt)

And next year, spurred on by the awesome fun we had getting muddy in the woods, the theme will be Camp Bestival GOES WILD!

Yes we will be getting down and dirty, back to nature, pagan and free in the fields and woods of Lulworth, come rain or shine! So now I just need to start planning my fancy dress! I have even started a Pinterest board.





Just have a read of the Press Release - Feel the excitement! Can I tempt you to join us? The perfect festival for children of all ages!

CAMP BESTIVAL GOES WILD FOR 2015

PLUS

GET WILD THIS CHRISTMAS

ORDER YOUR FAMILY TICKETS NOW AND GET AN EXCLUSIVE CAMP BESTIVAL ARTWORK CHRISTMAS CARD & SOUVENIR TICKET

AND DON’T MISS

CAMP BESTIVAL’S ADVENT CALENDAR WONDER 

Inspired by our love of getting out into the open air and running free, Team CB are extremely excited to announce a brilliant new theme that’s very close to all of our hearts. That’s right, we’re putting Mother Nature front and centre for 2015, as Camp Bestival Goes Wild!

Camp Bestival’s own wild man Rob da Bank says: “Calling all wild boys and wild girls…oh yes my wild friends and family, prepare to get down and dirty at Camp Bestival 2015 as we dump the technology and scramble into the woods for a back to nature escape from normality. We’ll have golden chances to bond with your kids in the mud kitchen, sleep under the stars with your mates and family, and take part in tons of wild activities. Release your inner wild thing and see you in July!” 

 We all love computers and game consoles but you can have too much of a good thing. As the amount of screen-time kids enjoy creeps ever upwards, the simple pleasures of the great outdoors, and the endless fun of running around under the sun is being left behind. So, we’re going all out at Camp Bestival, unleashing our burning passion for all things wild, and dedicating our four-day festi-holiday shenanigans to the happy and healthy joys of getting back to nature. From jumping about in your bare feet, creating wild art and making daisy chains, to wood carving, star gazing and way beyond, a wild imagination goes a long way in nature’s playground, and come 30th July to the 2nd August, Lulworth Castle is going to be the wildest place on earth!

Featuring a host of Camp Bestival’s favourite attractions including the legendary Bollywood, The Big Top, The Greatest Tent on Earth, Pig’s Big Ballroom, Art Town, Insect Circus, the Science Tent, Medieval Jousting, the Soul Park and more, there will be adventurous family fun across the board with music, theatre, shows, attractions, activities, poets, authors, talks and delicious, healthy food. The Camp Bestival crew have been scouring the globe looking for the wildest entertainment in existence, all for you. Reconnecting not just the kids, but all of us smart phone addicted adults too, with the good green earth and helping everyone discover the pure elation of untamed, outdoor fun is our mission. Weekend Camping, Camping Plus, Hospitality and Boutique tickets are on sale, so grab yours now and be there when Camp Bestival Goes Wild! 

Tickets for Camp Bestival 2015 (July 30th to Aug 2nd) are on sale now via: Ticketline / 0844 888 4410

WEEKLY PAYMENT PLAN:

You can use our 35 week payment plan to purchase your tickets meaning that an adult ticket can now be bought at a payment of just £5 per week over 34 consecutive weekly payments following an initial deposit payment. Book online via Ticketline only: select 'Camp Bestival 2015 - Weekend Payment Plan'.

Once you have signed up to the payment plan, which basically means giving your agreement by ticking the bank mandate form on Ticketline’s website, they will automatically debit your card on a weekly basis. More info here .

NB: Booking fees and a deposit (£25 per adult ticket) will be charged with your initial transaction.

CAMP BESTIVAL 2015 WEEKEND TICKET PRICES:

Adult Weekend Ticket (inc. camping from Thurs or Fri) - £195*

Student Weekend Ticket (inc. camping from Thurs or Fri) - £180*

Age 15 to 17 Weekend Ticket (inc. camping from Thurs or Fri) - £113*

Age 11 to 14 Weekend Ticket (inc. camping from Thurs or Fri) - £88*

Age 5 to 10 Weekend Ticket (inc. camping from Thurs or Fri) - £20*

Age 4 & Under Weekend Ticket (inc. camping from Thurs or Fri) – FREE (but ticket required)*

*NB: please refer to the Camp Bestival Ticket Terms & Conditions

Car Parking - £15 advance

Campervan Ticket - £72 per vehicle - please read Campervan T&Cs here before booking

Caravan / Trailer Tent Ticket – £83 (One car only per caravan/trailer tent – no exceptions) (available via Ticketline only) - please read Caravan / Trailer Tent T&Cs here before booking

All Tickets - will incur a booking fee.

CAMPING PLUS:

Camping Plus plots cost £125.00 (max of 2 adults and 4 children per plot) and are perfect, not only if you know you won’t be arriving as soon as the gates open, but also if you just want the comfort of knowing that you’ve got your camping space sorted. Book now.

HOSPITALITY CAMPING:

Hospitality Camping offers luxurious creature comforts in a beautifully designed, spacious campsite with fast access to the heart of the main Castle Stage arena. With premium toilets, hot showers, free yoga sessions, private parking and a meet and greet concierge service, Hospitality Camping is the place to stay for the ultimate high-end family festival experience. Head here for more info

Link to video 

Ooh Flat Lunch box - review

Remember when I saw a new style lunch box on the interwebs and I got quite excited? Excited enough to tell you all about it for free!?

Well guess what, I have been rewarded, rewarded in the form of a new flat lunch box for DD. So that she, and I, could test it out 'in the field' so to speak...well at school as it turns out.

 My first discovery was that initially the zips made it tricky to zip up from flat. However after 3 days of use I was versed in the technique and no longer found it tricky.

The lunch box (bag?) itself is roomy enough for plenty of lunch and being slightly flexible is good for odd shapes. It is made of neoprene so it's great for when you are diving after sharks keeping the food at an even temperature.

There are loads of great colours to choose from and no 'themed' characters so your child won't outgrow it like they will various pigs, trains and kitties. And that's just as well as it's pretty sturdy and I can imagine it will last a while!

As it opens totally flat it is just as I imagined, simple to clean! And it's machine washable too - so you can bung it in with the weekly wash. Perfect! No crumbs in corners, no cracked plastic. I love it.

Folded flat it's quite large so DD tends to only open 2 sides at school. Her friends have declared it 'interesting' and 'cool'.

Being available in smart simple colours would make it good for the office too, opened flat you could use it to protect your suit!

I also think it would be good when camping, as it's its own picnic blanket space! Keeping your snacks off of the grass.

You can but the Flat lunch box at The Nicest Stuff for £27.50 (yes I know it's pricey - but I looked at cheaper lunch boxes and we get through two a year at £8 so....)

What I did in my holidays - Camp Bestival

I shall rely mainly on the medium of slightly odd drunken photos to share my experiences of Camp Bestival this year.

As you know I was given the amazing privilege of attending on of the 'funnest' festivals of the summer as an Official Camp Bestival Blogger. Sadly this did not enable me to grope any famous beards.(I might have kissed a beard though....shhhh )

We arrived on the Thursday as I know from experience that the fields fill quickly and the best (flattest) spots in the camp site will be taken by Friday. As I was meeting up with my brother and his family it was vital i secured a large enough pitch. We had two young teens with us who shared their own tent. So we were a 3 tent group (though not such pitch hoggers as to bring a gazebo too!).

After setting up (in the Purple campsite) we were too lazy to really explore past the portable chemical toilets (the usual functional but grim toilets - which ran out of loo roll and hand gel on day 1, so glad we were prepared!) and the nearby food places, sadly no Grill this year, but a nice coffee stall and a smoothie place.

And then on Friday the fun began. My brother, at his first ever festival, enjoyed the kids field and perfected his circus skills

We chilled to Courtney Pine

Were thrilled by the Insect (and mollusc) Circus

Saturday was fancy dress day, and we dressed in our Circus best, with me as Ringmaster, trying hard to control the big cats (and the bearded lady and the fortune teller)

The jousting was great fun, so much so that we went twice

A little Chap-Hop with  Mr B the Gentleman Rhymer was spiffing!

And the food was so good that I kept forgetting to photograph it!!

The Dingly Dell was filled with excited children getting back to nature and down and dirty...

I fell in love with, and got a bit tipsy on, the jam jar cocktails, specifically the Bloody Mary

The weather was lovely (I managed to sunburn my breasts - don't ask)

The entertainment was second to none as always, a bright splash of colour across a gorgeous landscape

We Met up with Juggle Mum and her family for Sunday Roast with the Surplus Supper Club

Then after comedy, more food, more booze etc there was the fabulous firework display (DD was slightly sad there was no cartoon show this year on the castle, but my brother was extremely pleased that his favourite band Queen provided the soundscape for the incredible light show.)

All in all it was a fantastic weekend.

And then, on Monday, we went home...staggering up the hills to the car park

Very impressed with how clean people left the campsite!

Early bird tickets are already sold out!! But why not join us next year? You can pay in instalments and spread the cost. Check out TicketLine for details.

all these photos and more at Flickr

Snuggly (a review)

It's been one of the warmest days of the year so far so what better time to talk about....thermal underwear!


Once when DD and I went camping in the summer we didn't bother to put the tent inner (including the ground sheet) in the tent. It was so so hot, we had camp beds that would keep us off of the ground, and we imagined a lovely night of cool fresh breezes, but still ultimately warm.


How naive we were, how foolish. How COLD! By midnight we had realised what a dreadful mistake we had made, the cold from the ground had chilled everything, the air temperature had dropped rapidly once the sun had gone down and with only a single skin to the tent the warmth in that had gone too. How we shivered and griped. How we wished we had more on than a T shirt and pants!

So when the eCornerShop asked me to review some thermal underwear I was keen, despite the arrival of spring. When you are a camper thermals should be an all round item! The best thing about this thermal set (consisting of a long sleeve vest, and long pants) is that they are so soft and so sleek! You can wear them under other clothes with hardly a wrinkle, but also as they are black they don't look bad on their own. None of the look of the cowboy long johns! More a slinky black cat woman effect (that's how I''m seeing myself so you can all shut up)

I'm going to be pitching the tent in the garden this weekend, the first pitch of the season, to check for moth damage (yikes) mould (yikes again) and anything else that may have happened while it's been snuggling in its bag in the loft.


And I might need to sleep in it, as a proper test, and when I do, I shall be snuggly too!


The Ladies Thermal underwear set is available from the eCornerShop



They don't only sell ladies under wear, they have thermals for men too



Disclaimer - I was sent the thermals in exchange for this review but the opinions in this post are all mine (as is the embarrassing naive camping experience)

Camp Bestival, or 'turning it off and on again'

Today in the news there was talking of the arrogance of the west (no arguments there) about sleep (oh, as you were...sleep eh?) and how sleep is important

I can see the parents nodding at the back, or maybe nodding off at the back. Yes they mumble, sleep is important, and I'm not getting any (no nor any of that either - I'm too tired)

Well I'm here to tell you exciting news!

Camping resets your body clock! Yes yes it does - the BBC wrote about it here 

Gratuitous Picture of Eton Mess served at Camp Bestival

Camping can be a great way to reboot, to 'switch yourself off and on again' as it were. Getting up with the light, snoozing in the sun if you get sleepy in the daytime, eating when hungry, going to bed when tired... And if you are panicking that you can't because ... you have kids and camping with kids is too stressful (I wrote about that here) then more good news!

Camp Bestival still has tickets and it's a festival designed for families, for children, for parents, even for babies! yes loyal reader a festival for all! (they don't mind if you are single, or even alone either, more the merrier, pile on in)

Camp Bestival has security to keep you safe and return lost kids, it has bars for relaxing grown ups and all kinds of free activities to keep small ones entertained, from clay modelling to dance schools. It has a quiet chill out baby tent, for snoozing babes, and breastfeeding mums (and bottle feeding mums and dads too of course!)

It has bouncy castles, jousting (yes real actual jousting!) circuses, dressing up with a cat walk (unleash your inner 'silly'!) lots of shops selling fun things, clothes, bubbles, wigs, food, hats...

This year Rob and Josie have been working on a Teen Arena so that those annoying lovely teens don't feel left out and can have some fun of their own, I know DD isexcited about this as we did start to feel she was getting too old for some of the kids stuff while not quite old enough for the grown up stuff.

I'm going this year as a Camp Bestival Official Blogger and I'm taking my brother and his family along to their FIRST festival! I can't wait to show them the joy of Camp Bestival.

Good gracious I failed to mention the MUSIC! It's a festival so of course there is music, dancing, Mr Tumble for the little ones, Chas and Dave for those older...I've been told to listen out for The Wedding Present, ... look at the whole line up here.

So? Are you coming? Grab a tent, some bubbles and some glow sticks, I'll save you a pitching spot...

Camping in the New Forest.

I went camping with my brother and his daughters last week. We both leave our spouses at home as they don't see the same delight in tents as we do. We stayed at Hurst View in Lymington in the New Forest, we had perfect weather and the campsite was lovely. Big, and quite comercial but very friendly and lovely walks to the coast, nearby pubs, lots for the kids to do.

The well maintained showers and toilets were always clean. The fields were large but not regimented. Open fires were allowed and loud music was banned after 10pm (and patrols did come and tell people if they over stepped the mark)

The kids enjoyed crabbing the most!

All in all we had a great time.

In which I invent an unusual way to review books

So here's the thing. I love reading and I love books. I love paper books best even though I read on a Kobo (and have the Kindle app on my tablet - though the app is currently broken...don't get me started) I prefer to read paper.

Paper doesn't need electricity, it doesn't need to be charged up before a holiday, no worries that I might lose a paperback (it's usually only a few pounds to replace) . You can easily see where you are in a book. A book can be signed by the author (though then you DO worry about losing it!) Books can fill a room with their bright spines on show, their words a secret mutter on the shelves. A paperback can become bent and dog-eared and loved..

E-readers have their place of course, self publishing can be quick and easy (sometimes too quick and easy...you may want to proof read that....) you can carry a library on an e-reader in case you get bored. An e-reader is lighter that some huge paperbacks (more of this soon). You can thus carry all the boks you could ever need around with you..

I like it when peple ask me to review a book. I don't mind if it's in digital or paper format - a free book is a free book, but paper is the best - we all know that really, deep down. And paper is the best for a very special reason.

You can't light a Kelly Kettle with an e-book.

Now I hear you all shriek in horror. Burning books! What is she thinking! But I love to camp and when you camp you can get into a tight spot sometimes. Alone in a field with a tea bag and no kindling....what's a girl to do? And to be honest here, which of us hasn't read a book and thought 'goodness that was dreadful, poorly written, no plot, shallow chararcters (etc etc) That's 4 hours of my life I'll never see again'....and why, when we think that, did we donate the book to a charity shop to inflict those woes on another unsuspecting soul. No gentle reader, this poor specimen of literature can yet bring light (and heat) into a life. It can die gloriously in the production of a cup of tea.

And discovering this has led me to invent the 'Kelly Kettle' review system. From now on when I review a book I shall give it not only stars (up to 5 for it's readability and enjoyment factor) but also a 'Kelly Kettle Number' which will indicate the number of 1.3L Kelly Kettles can be boiled from burning the book alone.

And don't think I'm making all this up. A very thick book I purchased last week from a charity shop (and I shall spare the author's blushes by not mentioning the book) scored a simply fantastic 6 KKs (Kelly Kettles) when were short of kindling. As a read it scored a disappointing 2 stars.

I admit there are many books that truely are too wonderful to burn and these I will guess at a KK number based on past books size, page number and paper quality. (this will be the assumed Kelly Kettle Number or aKK)

So if you have a book you need reviewing, and if you NEED a KK score for the blurb on the back, send me a paper copy. I'll get reading (and, possibly, burning)

I may start here

Wilderness Festival 2013 - a review in poetry

Come with me to the wild wild wood

 And see where pixies roam

 Where sprites and fairies late have stood

 Their bare feet on the loam

Come and look in the wild wild wood

Where any attire ‘goes’

Flowers, feathers, golden masks

And even spandex hose!

 

Come and write in the wild wild wood

 And tell tall tales of tails

Smile and tell your fairy myths

Of gardens, spas and snails

 

Come and eat in the wild wild wood

 More soup, or cake, or chips

But now it seems it’s pizza time

Tomorrow veg and dips

 

Come and drink in the wild wild wood

Vodka, by the glass

And cider, beer and cocktails too

Until you sleep at last

 

Come and skate in the wild wild wood

Whooshing through the trees

Slipping, sliding down the slopes

Landing on your knees

 

Come and shop in the wild wild wood

Vintage, bags and hats

Bubbles, jewellery and drums

The tails and ears of cats!

 

Come and play in the wild wild wood

Nude cricket or ping pong

Drink, and practice circus skills

Maybe sing a song

 

Come and swim in the wild wild wood

Or lay and watch the fun

Splashing lazy like a dream

Under the warming sun

 

Come and rest in the wild wild wood

Sleeping by the lake

Or lay on the grass all soft and cool

And in sun, gently bake

 

Come with me to the wild wild wood

The best festival to roam

Experience the sights and sounds

And wish it was your home…. 

 

You might have guessed I adored this festival. It really was gorgeous, filled with beautiful people in beautiful costumes, doing beautiful things while eating beautiful food and listening to beautiful music in a beautiful place.  

My 'must do' festival for next year. (even a kids field so no excuses for parents not to go)

11/10 on my fabulous festival scale