Birds, Bees and Pornography

Every so often the subject crops up, should schools discuss (and maybe even show!) porn to the children as part of their sex education and personal development and of course many people shouted "NO!"


NO !!!

what are you thinking!?


But I wonder if the schools may have a point. Porn is everywhere and whether paraents like it or not it's unlikely to go away. Children (and I'm talking of early teens but each day the age seems to reduce) have smartphones or access to smartphones via their peers. One argument was along the lines of "I'd prefer to talk to my children about that myself!" and for a second I agreed but then the opposing view was put forward, and that is pretty clear, not all parents DO talk to their kids about sex and not all want to, in fact the original commenter went on the say

"we've all, as parents, had that horrible, cringeworthy, talk with our kids, about the birds and the bees"

and I thought 'have we?' I know I haven't, I've had quick questions about sex, I've had HILARIOUS conversations about where babies come from, I've read some quite genius children's books on the subject with DD, I've been amazed at the breadth of her knowledge and the breadth of her investigational questioning! But horrible and cringeworthy? Nope.

Because I've always just answered what was asked, always have (we bought Mummy Laid and Egg when she was about 3) . Seems to me like the most simple thing in the world. And even now that DD is 13 she asks questions that surprise me or make me laugh, but nothing that makes me cringe. (Saturday morning comment a case in point "Hmm you two are very jolly this morning, was there fun and frolics last night?" cue my husband and I crying with laughter (and *ahem* not answering! LOL)

But lately she has been asking other questions, questions that start "I saw on TV ...." and it's obvious that some things she sees are confusing (not least the fact she pointed out no one on TV uses condoms, they just cuddle and have sex, so she quite reasonably wanted to know when you would stop to put it on) and while I'm happy to discuss all this there are many parents that are not.

So I think schools SHOULD talk to kids about porn, and about the dangers of sexting, and the risk or pictures online, of photos on phones, of facebook, about respect about the fact that prawn isn't very 'real' (as many wags on twitter have pointed out "Porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.") That people come (unintentional pun honest guv) in all shapes and sizes, that sex can be funny as well as passionate, that stuff can go wrong and you can still be friends with and love your partner, even if there are fanny farts and lost condoms ...I'm straying off the point (another pun, good grief it's turning into a carry on film, not a porn one!)

any way - to cut a long (oh for goodness sake!) story short, I think porn should be discussed in school, and I think parents should talk about sex and relationships at home, and I think boys and girls should be taught respect and caring are as important as 5 minutes of fumbling fun.

what do you think?

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