Wordy Wednesday with The Strange Seawolf

This week I welcome to the blog, a strange seawolf. Or is it The Strange Seawolf? Which ever it may be, strange seawolves are very welcome here. but let's find out more about our mysterious author and their book, Herald Petrel. 

So without further ado, a warm welcome to you Strange Seawolf, tell us a bit about you, what genre do you write? 

I think genres are a bit like gender: for a lot of people this form of categorization is a helpful concept and there is nothing bad about it. For me, though, it seems to needlessly narrow things down. I write stories about characters. All my writing develops from characters and what happens is defined by characters. They also define in which world I will have to build for them. For Herald Petrel I’d say it is Science Fiction although a reviewer recently categorized it as “Dystopian But Fun Space Opera”, and I am all for it!

So, that’s settled for this universe but who knows what the next characters will force me to write?

Do you have another job or are you a full time author?

Ha, yes, I do have another job. Writing is purely a hobby and an escape from reality for me. At daytime I am working for a database company. My job there is rather versatile, I train and help clients to use our software better, write the odd SQL here and there, and also do webinars and presentations. It is a database for a very niche field and I think I was born to work in that very niche field, so it fits and at the moment, I like it.

When did you start writing?

In elementary school. Okay, no, seriously, I always have written non-fiction. Writing fiction came late. 2019, after the death of my husband, I’d say. I wrote a lot of fanfic to escape, a concept that I hadn't known until I discovered Doctor Who at the same time.

As a side-note: I know it is popular to see fan-fiction as just a “training” to “real” writing, but I oppose that notion. For me it is an own genre with its own laws, challenges, and beauty. Sure, the main characters were created by someone else. But if you really want to write good fan-fiction you have to get the voice of those characters right. With your own characters it is you who defines what is “in character” or not. With fan-fiction, thousands of people have seen the same actors on screen and they will judge you by how convincingly you are able to make them see another believable story with them in their minds. So, while I also write original, I will never stop writing fan-fiction for characters that resonated with me or for series that were cancelled with threads dangling.

 

What 3 things are guaranteed to make you smile?

• Cats. Gosh, I am predictable like that but show me the image of a cute cat and it is an instant smile.

• Friends and colleagues. Especially colleagues who became friends. I am privileged to have gotten to know quite some goofballs in my life who never fail to put a big, silly grin on my face.

• Good food. Put some lovely food in front of me and it (and you) will be greeted with a resounding purr and happy smile.

 

 

 

Do you have any pets?

I always had cats. Right now, only a very old tomcat is left who is allowed to spend his remaining lives as a privileged and spoilt solo pasha.

Unlike my other cat who sometimes simply blocked the keyboard by slumping over it, he just silently judges me if I spent too much time writing.

Who is your favourite author? Do they influence your writing or are they a total break from the sort of thing you write?

I don’t have a favorite author, I don’t think my brain works that way.

I grew up with my father’s Science Fiction collection so I was exposed to and influenced by Stanislaw Lem, E.E.Smith and Douglas Adams. I am a huge fan of Terry Pratchett, especially his Discworld and even more specifically his character Death, and I am eternally grateful to QuokkaMocha (check her writing out as well, you’ll find her on AO3 and Mastodon) for finally convince me to start reading this series.

My close friend and soul twin Panda Fedorko and I constantly inspire each other both in our original and fanfic writing.

Lately I enjoy reading across the Indie authors Mastodon brought to my doorstep and I fear I forget someone if I try to name them all. It would end up in a long list of recommendations which isn’t the intend of this question. Instead, go to the hashtags #PennedPossibilities and #WordWeavers to get a jump-start into an awesome community of writers, published and unpublished.

One shout out, though: The Winds and Pillar series by Hannah Steenbook doesn’t get by far enough love (“South Breaks” starts off rather gruesome so I thought it wasn’t for me since I am a soft bean but I was hooked with the third chapter and right now I impatiently wait to devour every new book as soon as it is out).

I think whatever I am reading will influence my writing but I have phases in which I write and phases in which I read and since there is no overlap of those phases I am not too worried about the genre I read.

Which book(s) are you reading at the moment?

None because I am in a writing phase. I do still have the two latest books of the Pitkirtly Mysteries by Cecilia Peartree to read (so much fun, seriously, if you like Scotland, cozy murder mysteries, and absolutely bonkers characters, that’s the series for you). And next up I’ll either tackle Watermyth by Anita Harris Satkunananthan or The Calling by Branwen OShea.

Where do you do most of your writing?

At my desk. I am boring like that. Sometimes on the balcony but that is an ergonomic nightmare.

Tell us about the character that you've written that you like the most - no spoilers!

Oh, picking favs is unfair, especially when it comes to characters. But let’s take Rafaela Louise Sanchez Gomez, Raffi for short. She’s the assistant of the main character in Herald Petrel, Captain Galahad, and while I can see several characters capable to take over if Galahad drops out, there is simply no one who could replace Raffi. She is a proud asexual and aromantic. She has absolutely no filter. She says what she thinks without worrying too much about the consequences. She is curious and loves investigating places and things that are absolutely none of her business. She also has no problems whatsoever to tell her boss he’s wrong and one of my favorite sentences I ever wrote for her is: "What mess did you manage to maneuver your heteroromantic arse into?" She has basically adopted Galahad because she felt he needed a daughter and she sometimes plays the role of the wise guide for him. Their relationship puts all common father-daughter or mentor-mentee tropes upside-down. I always cheer if I get to write a scene with Raffi.

What is your favourite biscuit?

Two: Maryland Choc Chip Cookies and McVitie’s Ginger Nuts. When I travel the UK, I try to pack as little as possible into my suitcase so I can restock my stash because it is rather expensive to get those in mainland Europe.

Tea or Coffee?

Depends. I can’t even function properly without having at least two big cups of Earl Grey in my system in the mornings. And usually, all my writing runs on tea. I do enjoy a coffee with colleagues, a big latte macchiato in a nice café, or a strong espresso after lunch, though.

In the film of your life who would play you? (why)

Gosh, I do have one actress I would love to see in that and it is Cush Jumbo! Okay, no, wait. She doesn’t look like me. So, who looks like me? Lassie? Hmm, probably too old. All of them. Same with the wolf that played with Whatshisname? Costner? I mean, perhaps Pixar could animate my life? That would make a lot more sense. And, hey, then Cush could voice me. You would get that badass energy Cush radiates with a cute animated seawolf doing... database work. Okay, I might have to pimp my life a bit before I got material for more than 5 minutes of biopic. BRB. Now, If I could remember where I put that flyer of the Mt. Everest guided tours for wimps…

If you could genetically cross an animal and a vegetable, what would you pick and why?

Given both species consented, I’d cross a cabbage and a hedgehog. You’d get a cabbage that eats the snails that are lured into its vicinity. Probably nothing you can harvest then, though. And they make a hell of a noise when they grow shoots. Ah, well, no experiment is perfect, right?

And now your appetite is well and truly whetted, why not explore some links...

Here’s the universal book link to get Herald Petrel from your preferred retailer: https://books2read.com/HeraldPetrel

And here on Goodreads and Bookwyrm people say nice stuff about it.

Herald Petrel also has its own website https://fly.herald-petrel.com/

If you want to follow Strange Seawolf you can do so on Mastodon @strangeseawolf@mindly.social and on Instagram strange.seawolf (Strange Seawolf says "fairness warning: I haven’t figured out what I am doing there, if you see me posting weird stuff: no you haven’t!")

As someone who has read Herald Petrel I can really recommend it - first of all because I loved the diverse mix of characters, and when I say that I include aliens that are not just Star Trek style aliens with humanoid features and sexes but just different coloured skin or the odd face bump! These aliens are alien! And also because the story is exciting, and the space feels real, along with the challenges living on a spaceship brings. 

 

Strange Seawolf image created by The Patrex

Wordy Wednesday - Pippa Harvey, The Watcher's Lullaby

Back in the olden days of this blog, when I was keen and less lazy I had a regular author slot once a week on a Wednesday. This slot might be a review of a book I read or an interview with an author, or maybe advice on reading, reviewing etc.

But as I said , I got older, lazier and booktok seems to be the place the young folks find out about books these days. However, not to be deterred and just in case some other old people (or you young'uns) like to still read a bit I decided to bring it back.

So today I am starting with a review. I was kindly sent an e-book by Pippa Harvey,  The Watcher's Lullaby.

It's been a while since I've read a creepy book and this book is very creepy. Lots of atmosphere and some genuinely scary 'goosebump' moments.

The story follows two women who live in the same house many many years apart, and one of them appears to have stayed around. Is it all it seems though? Is the watcher a malevolent spirit or a loss soul? 

Some of the themes around the behavior of the men in the tale are interesting, although they do stick to the 'man who assumes women are being irrational' which helps the story move on but is a little annoying.

 "Sweetheart, you can't let yourself be spooked by noises and creaks in this house. Older properties come with their imperfections."

 The female characters are stronger and support each other most of the time. The historical part of the story is very sad, with Maud being a very emotionally lost person with scarce support from those around her. 

 "Without a word, William walks into the rear parlour and adds some coal to the range. Taking a seat by the fire, he reaches for Henry Stephen's Book of the Farm. It's always beside his chair and, apart from the newspaper, the only reading he ever does, usually on a Sunday afternoon. Not only does it guide him on the animals and crops, but it means he can avoid conversation."

Bea copes better as a strong independent woman, although at times I worried her marriage would fail because of the stress of the new home.

The two women are linked by the house, and their lives share many similarities. But how far will the links take them, how close will their lives become?

No spoilers here, but this is a ghost story. Read it in a darkened room by candle light in a storm and you will be jumping at every breath of wind.

 You can get a copy here

 Trigger warnings for child loss.

The first Wordy Wednesday of 2019

I know I haven't blogged since hector was a pup, but fear not for I have a treat for you today.

No 2018 round up, no best bits of my year, no lists of funniest tweets or my most read blog posts, no; today for your enjoyment I have revisited a favourite person of mine, a friend and author...can you guess?

 Welcome back to the blog Ed! I had interviewed Edward Kendrick back in 2015 so it seemed like it was about time to have another chat and see what he's been up to.

Well Ed, what have you been up to since last we heard from you?

Good question (puts shiny apple on blogger’s table). Well, it’s been a funny old time really. In the three and a half years between interviews I’ve continued to write, do some self-publishing and generally tried to make things happen. I haven’t really chased agents in a long time and things have been difficult with work and deteriorating mental health problems, and that kind of thing tends to get in the way of word mining. Total bummer.

Still, I’ve somehow managed to release another four novels. A trilogy set in the soft toy afterlife about all kinds of serious things as well as fluff, stuffing and prat falls, and a near future sci fi sports biography type thing (you can see why agents are attacking my door with crowbars, desperate to get at my easy to sell goods). They are all pretty good, to be honest, but I would say that.

In addition to that I’ve written four more novels that are in various stages of development* Plus, I plan to self-publish two further novels in January 2019. The first is called ‘Self Portrait’ and is the third part in the Gita Askari sci-fi series and the second is a spoof spy/assassin novel titled ‘Diamond Double Black’. Art is all in place. Editing has been done, just the formatting and general mucking about to go.

*gathering dust in a draw/hard drive.

How Does family life affect your writing?

Well, it comes in different packages. It makes me want to write things that the kids would want to read as well as more mature readers and I hope it makes me care a bit about people in general, and so show some kindness through to the characters I want to write about. In reality I’m not sure how true that last bit is, but anyways…

In more practical, nuts and bolts terms, it makes writing very difficult. I have a physical job that can leave me physically and mentally drained. I get back and I want to spend time with the kids and my lovely wife. The writing takes a back stage. If I can get the computer on before 8 o clock then I have a chance of getting some words in that make sense, past that then the exercise starts to become futile as I can’t get passed the fatigue as I have no momentum to push through it.
I wouldn’t put the writing first, ever. My family are the important bit. This is a flight of fancy, promising invisible unicorns and whispered praise that could just be long delayed echo.

What books have you enjoyed reading in 2018?

Here is a tricky one. I’ve been very depressed this year and one of the things that does is remove my ability to concentrate for long periods of time. I’ve pushed my head up above water every now and then and managed to get a book in or a tv series I’ve enjoyed, but for the most part it’s been a fog.
Saying that, I read The Real Town Murders by Adam Roberts in January, which I really enjoyed and I’ve been reading A Christmas Carol out loud to my wife in bed. Obviously, we know the story off by heart already but still, it’s good to go back and read it. Still a bit weird that it doesn’t have the muppets in the book, but you can’t have everything.

What’s the best food to accompany writing?

This year? Fizzy strawberry laces. Hands down.

What’s one thing that stops you writing?

My mental health. If I’m not in a good place then I can still write, but not even I can type when at the bottom of the well.

If you could visit any country on Earth. Where would you go? (all expense paid)

I’ve never actually left the British Isles before, which I know is rare now, but it’s true. I’d love to go to lots of places on this wonderful globe but top shot would be Canada. I like the cold and the heat and I love the idea of all that space/northern lights/snow/north American continent stuff without visiting Trump’s America. Plus, I have one of my oldest buddies out there. In truth, I miss him far more than I’d ever tell him, and never contact him enough on Facebook. So, I would go there. (can I go for several weeks to a month, so I could do loads of stuff? Cheers!)

And what does a writer hope to get for Christmas?
That is a tough one. I normally have my eye on a film or two and some music, but really, that is something I’m pretty sure I’m going to get, so the mystery isn’t really there. To tell you the truth, I really like getting a gift that’s left of field. Every year my older friends gather together around Christmas and we hang for the day and have a laugh. This always involves gift giving. I normally give people handmade gifts. Weird calendars, odd posters, unconventional jigsaws, that kind of thing. They, in return, head to the internet to wow me with the very worst they can find.
I’ll just attach a picture, because a picture can say a thousand words….

Well, I think that's enough of that!

Thanks for popping back and I'll check out all the new reads.

You can follow Ed on twitter too where he squeezes out words almost every day.

This post contains affiliate links.

Wordy Wednesday Reborn

I have let Wordy Wednesday slowly drift away. You'll have noticed a lack of bookish posts and this cannot be allowed to go on!

No the words must return.

You might recall that Wordy Wednesday started as a silly obverse to wordless Wednesday photos posted on many blogs each week.

For quite a while I interviewed authors such as Gregg Jenner, Joanne Harris, and Marion Grace Woolley and a few times I posted about book suggestions or my own reviews.

I have been using Goodreads to monitor my reading more and have been failing in the simple task of duplicating my reviews here - I really must try harder.

Luckily a few die hard bookish blog fans, and even a few authors (Thanks Edd) have nagged me enough that I shall plan at least one Wednesday of words a month, maybe more, from now on.

Today I shall fill you in on what I've been reading, and also what I've been listening to because words can come at you aurally as well as visually! Yes I've been using my Audible app lots of the drives to and from work, multitasking to get some extra books into my brain.

First I re listened to The Martian by Andy Weir, as it's one of my favourite audio books. Unabridged it's pretty long and the first time I listened I worried it would be bored by the amount of mathematical equations but amazingly it becomes gripping very quickly and the maths adds to the story and the tension rather than detract form  it. The narrator is also excellent, which really helps with audible books, I have had to return two books unread as the narrator was just awful.

I am also a fair way through Moby Dick, or The Whale, by Herman Melville, another book with a lot of factual asides and these do sometimes take you so far from the story you forget where you started, but there are some genuine laugh out loud parts, at least in the beginning, some homo-eroticism, and plenty of peril. I'm only 60% through the tale at the moment and Ahab remains relatively sane...but we all know where this is going...

If you fancy signing up for Audible - use my afilliate link and I get some pennies! Also you can get your first book free. After that it's £7.99 a month for a credit against any book, no contract, stop at any time, and they often have two for one deals.

Lastly I have started an actual paper book. The Three Body Problem by Liu Cixin, it's a science fiction story translated from the original Chinese, so far the history is being set for the reader and it's a dark time in the revolution. Our hero sees her father brutally killed and her mother driven insane, but where will this lead ....

Here's hoping I will be able to update you with more wordy news soon!

Comment below to let me know what you've been reading, or be my friend on GoodReads and stalk my book habits there.

Wordy Wednesday with Claire Colley

Today on Wordy Wednesday I am excited to introduce Claire Colley, who writes contemporary dark fiction, the 'read if you dare' sort. Her new book Season's End is due out soon, and the filming for the script she co-wrote has just finished filming and is now being edited.  

Season's End is a novel about demons, fear and family ties.  It is a disturbing and uncomfortable tale set in a traditional British fun fair, and will make you avoid roller coasters forever!

And so, feeling suitably creeped out, here are the questions I put to Claire, and her excellent answers:

When and why did you start writing? 
I have never lied, but I have always told stories.  As a kid, I would create elaborate stories to get me out of trouble for something I had done that perhaps I shouldn't.  I now just tell my husband that the fairies did it when I perhaps eat his chocolate, or drink the last of the coffee.

What 3 things (not including paper, computer, pens) would you like to facilitate a good days writing?
Without doubt, coffee.  I have an addiction.  I am besotted with my coffee percolator and often leave notes on the front door telling visitors to bugger off unless they are bringing me more coffee.  Strong, black and no sugar, thanks.  Also, my cats.  I talk to them as sounding boards, because they don't tell me what to do.  Finally, erm.... darkness.  Miserable days appeal to me. Black(?) cats, black coffee, black nights...I'm sensing a theme

Picture credit KGHH Design

Do you write to a schedule, eg every day or three times a week, set times, etc or do you write as and when the mood strikes?
I write for at least an hour a day.  I am an insomniac, so very often, I am awake in the early hours of the morning and find the dark and the peace perfect for writing.

Who is your favourite fictional character (that you've written) and why?
Ruth in Wake Up.  She is an arrogant bitch when you first meet her, but as you discover why, she grows on you and you start rooting for her.

Is writing your main source of income? Can you survive on book writing alone? if not, what else do you do?
I don't survive on book writing alone, but I do live on my writing!  I write for a range of companies, doing SEO blogs, CVs, employment documents and stuff like that.

What are your favourite biscuits?
Bourbons.  Dipped in coffee.  Nom nom nom.

Where do you do most of your writing?
I am so bad, I have a proper study/library and I go in there to chill rather than write.  Drives my husband insane, but I often work from the sofa with Christmas movies on in the background.

What book are you reading at the moment?
Sleeping Beauties by Stephen King and Owen King.  I only just started it yesterday, so can't tell you anything yet.

Is truth really stranger than fiction?
Oh hell yes.  Yes indeed.  I can tell you some crazy arsed stories that are completely true that sound so incredible that they feel like fiction.

If you could genetically cross and animal with a fruit or vegetable what would you choose and why? I'm currently keen on a melon hippo, green and water-loving, juicy and HUGE.
Hmmmmm......  A cat with a coffee plant.  I would love if my cats smelt of coffee.  Unfortunately, Tinker Stinks has a rancid bum and Zorro smells fishy.

If reading and writing were banned on pain of death, what would you do instead?
Die. (I think it's only fair to tell you other authors have started an underground writing resistance so I'm sure you could join, as long as the smell of coffee brewing didn't give you all away!)

If you could bring a dead person back from the dead for one day to have tea and a natter with them, who would you choose and why?
This is pretty much the easiest question of the lot.  My Mum.  She passed away in 2015 and I miss her so, so much.  She was the person I talked to about anything and everything.  I was her live in carer too, so I spent everyday with her.  Losing her was the hardest thing that ever happened.  However, I am very close to her 2 remaining sisters, and they are both awesome.  I am off for a weekend away with Auntie M at the end of November because she told me I needed a rest!! Aw! I hope you have a fabulous time.

Claire's website is www.clnorton.co.uk and she is on social media :

On Facebook
On Twitter
On Instagram

Wordy Wednesday with Daniel M Bensen

Welcome again to Wordy Wednesday, a (semi) regular blog interview series with authors from around the world and with variously themed books, writers for all age ranges and tastes can be found here. Today it's the turn of Daniel M Bensen, an American fantasy writer. Daniel was born in Chicago and has since lived in Maine, California, Montana, Japan, and Boston. He currently lives with his wife, daughters, and in-laws in Sofia Bulgaria, where he teaches English as a second language.

Daniel has written a book called The Kingdoms of Evil,  amongst other things. The Kingdoms of Evil is a fantasy satire with some horrific elements. It's about Freetrick Feend, a more or less normal college student in a more or less normal fantasy country, who learns that he is actually Feerborg, the lost heir to the Skull Throne of the Kingdoms of Evil (which is right over those mountains over there). As Ultimate Fiend of the Kingdoms of Evil, Freetrick inherits command over a population of twisted monsters, a family of scheming nobles, a murderous fiance, and the enmity of every one of his country's non-evil neighbours. The biggest problem, though, is that in a land where the sun never shines and the river run with lava, what are the monsters supposed to eat? 

And so I quizzed Daniel, from afar, and this is how it went:

When and why did you start writing?
I tried to write stories way back in 4th grade, but I didn't go about it seriously until after I graduated from college. The extremely un-serious Kingdoms of Evil was the result. I'm now in the middle of my seventh novel. You can find information about all of my books on my website, as well as links to the short stories and the novella that I've actually gotten published.

What 3 things (not including paper, computer, pens) would you like to facilitate a good days writing? Other than my kindle's note-taking function and my laptop, I need nothing but a cup of mocha, a chair, and access to the playlist I've made for the book I'm working on.

Do you write to a schedule, eg every day or three times a week, set times, etc or do you write as and when the mood strikes?
I write every weekday between classes (I teach English as a second language). I work best when it's on a schedule.

Who is your favourite fictional character (that you've written) and why?
The Kaimeera. It's a monster from the kingdoms of evil that assumes the personality of the last person it ate. Ha! Love this idea.

Is writing your main source of income? 
No, I make much more per hour teaching, so talking about writing as my main "job" would be ridiculous. There are novelists who do support themselves by writing novels - but that seems to become possible only after at least three successful releases. Maybe someday. In the mean time, I'm glad to be able to write as a hobby.

What are your favourite biscuits? 
Milanos

Where do you do most of your writing?
Either in my office, in a cafe near my office, or typing into my kindle in a park, bus, or subway car.

What book are you reading at the moment? 
A couple of good ones! What the Hell Did I Just Read by David Wong and The Book of Joy by Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama. Both are very helpful in the hospital. (I hope you have recovered from your op by the time this post is live!)

Is truth really stranger than fiction? 
Of course. Fiction is constrained by the limits of the human brain, which is far from the strangest thing out there.

If you could genetically cross and animal with a fruit or vegetable what would you choose and why?
I'm currently keen on a cauliflower/caterpillar, a cauli-pillar, a bumpy white caterpillar affair that would be nice with cheese...
That's a hard act to follow. I submit the land urchin. They walk very slowly along the forest floor and taste like cactus. nice

If reading and writing were banned on pain of death, what would you do instead? 
Flee to a different (and less doomed) country. Failing that, I suppose I'd have to join The Resistance.This has been a popular response, so I fully expect that a writers resistance would be a thing

If you could bring a dead person back from the dead for one day to have tea and a natter with them, who would you choose and why? 

I'm only allowed to have tea with them? Not start a new religion or revolutionize anthropology? Charles Darwin. He spoke English and we could have a fun conversation. I could catch him up on biology and show him this excellent video: 

Massive thanks, Daniel for taking part.  Thank you. It was a lot of fun.

By now you will be desperate to know more so why not follow Daniel 

On Twitter

On Deviant Art

On Goodreads

On Tumblr

And check out his website The Kingdoms of Evil

Gross books for gross kids

OK the title to this post is a tad misleading. While the books may be gross I don't think kids are, but they do all seem to go through phases of being fascinated with things that, as adults, we have been conditioned to see as 'not nice' or 'not to be talked about' so it's a jolly good thing that some books are around that cover these subjects to help us squeamish adults cope with life, and kids.

I have just been rereading Snuff: (Discworld Novel 39) (Discworld Novels)by Sir Terry Pratchett and Vimes's son Sam is fascinated with poo and dirt throughout the book, which made me think about children's books that we had loved..

So here are my suggestions for 'gross books' based on books that DD had a smaller person, and that we both really enjoyed, because you know what? Poo IS funny!

Dr Dog - Babette Cole
A book about a family dog that happens to also be a Dr. He struggles with his family as they are rather silly and at times quite disgusting, sharing hairbrushes, scratching their bums and farting far too loudly. Along the way Dr Dog teaches small children some hygiene tips and gives us all a laugh, he also gets rather exhausted...poor Dr Dog

Drop Dead - Babette Cole
Another book by the same author looking at the stark fact that however exciting and wonderful (or not) our lives may be, we will all suffer the same fate in the end and just Drop Dead. Tackled with love and humour this is a funny book for small children. It only tackles death due to old age, and does have a weird reincarnation hint at the end, but is simple and funny. As always with Babette's books the artwork is lovely.

The story of the little mole who knew it was none of his business -
This was bought for DD when she was small and soon became a firm favourite at bedtime. A mole finds himself in the unfortunate position of being pooed upon. Having poor eyesight he is not sure of the culprit so he sets off to find out, and to exact his revenge. On the way he explores many types of poo. Poo lovers will enjoy this book, and will find it invaluable on trips to farms to help identify poop.

Here Comes the Poo Bus - Andy Stanton
A Bus is coming to take the insects to the seaside! The bus is made of poo so who could resist? A totally gross story in rhyme of a trip to the seaside, some laugh out loud moments, some truly horrible illustrations and a rather dark ending make this a hilarious read for all!

There are many other poop themed books for small children, but I cannot say I have read them all!
Books about Poop

But what about wee I hear you ask! I'm glad you raised that point!

Why not have a read of :

Father Christmas needs a wee -Nicholas Allan
In which Father Christmas tries to deliver presents before he goes to the loo. Any child who has hopped about declaring they don't need the loo yet will be able to appreciate Santa's predicament...will he be in time? Read this rhyming book out load for tense chuckles and to find out the answer! But don't laugh too hard!

I want my Potty! (Little Princess)  -
Any parent who has run through the house with a potty will  be cringing along with the story in this book. The Princess needs her potty, but where is it? and where is she? Who is in charge and can they get the potty to her before it's too late?

Mummy Laid and Egg - Babette Cole
And last but by no means least - my favourite book ever about sex. A manual for everyone, from 3 years and up. Take care with the ways 'mummies and daddies fit together' some of the ways are not for the faint hearted...or those with poor balance. The perfect book to teach children where babies come from.

Have I missed any books that you love that are slightly (or even very) gross? Do let me know in the comments.

Meanwhile I'm off to read my book (yes I really have a copy, and yes it is full of glossy photos of poo)

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Wordy Wednesday with Sarah E Smith

Welcome back to Wordy Wednesday. This week I would like you to meet Sarah Smith, author of several mystery books. I asked her to introduce herself, so grab a cup of tea and settle down for a chat.

Hello, my name is Sarah. I'm nearly 50 on the outside and almost 18 on the inside! I love rugby, Doctor Who, and history.
I've had four books published so far. Three time travel, mystery books for YA (16-90ish) The Secret of Aldwych Strand; and my first crime fiction book set at the turn of the 20th century – A Cowardice of Crows, which introduces Symington Earl Byrd, Gentleman. Playboy. Detective. My books are as historically accurate as I can make them; and - I hope – a little witty, mixing as they do first and third person perspective.

The Secret of Aldwych Strand revolves around Canvey teenagers Mark and Lucy who go to Southend Pier in the October half term of 2013; travel in time, and never come home. Well why would you when you are trying to stop someone destroying the whole of time itself?
In a Cowardice of Crows Symington, Earl Byrd is called in to investigate the murder of a woman who's pushed from a train. A murder that draws the Prince of Wales' best friend in to a world so seductive he is in danger of losing his soul.

Do you have another job or are you a full time author? If you do something else (international spy?) what is it and do you like it?
Oh, I only wish I was a spy, or anything that exciting! I'm not. I don't even write full time. Though I can dream. That's got to wait for retirement. Or a VERY large lottery win. No, I'm a teacher of hormones in an 11-19 school in North Essex. I'm not sure if I'd say I like it, but I've been doing it for 28 years, so I can't really dislike it that much, can I?

Why did you start writing?
Because I couldn't draw and had to be creative some how. But it wasn't serious. Not until I ended up as a history teacher doing a maternity cover as a Head of English in the school I'm currently at, and suddenly there were these voices in my head screaming to have their story told, so I decided I'd better do what they wanted.

Which 3 things are guaranteed to make you smile?
The Goon Show
A dog running in the great out doors (I totally misread this as 'a dog running into a door, and thought it funny if a little cruel!)
A student finally 'getting' something that they've really struggled to understand

Do you have any pets?
I wouldn't say I have pets, I'd say they have staff.(haha Princess Fizz, my border terrier feels the same about us!)
Until last year there were 6 cats: the infamous Rover Blofeld of Twitter, Agent Z(orro); Bomma and Alistair, the Bombays, Callie and CleoKatra; and of course there was Clwyed-dog Dog, a scatty Labrador. Clwyed and Rover went over the rainbow bridge last year, forcing Zorro to step up to the role of chief cat. I'd love to get another dog, one with an expressive face. But that's a decision for a few years down the line. Dogs shouldn't be rushed.
The bombays are so self centred that they hinder the writing process. They have no understanding of computers. Or keyboards. Or that the delete key is not for dancing on! Everything is fuss me fuss me now, with pedigree cats.
The girls ignore me. They exist to sleep in sun-puddles. No, it's Zorro -a white and black bruiser - who's the real critic. He's the cleverest cat I've ever been owned by. An engineer in previous life, he sits and watches you write. Then when you read it back, he listens. If it's good he walks off. If it's not good he shakes his head and stares. So you delete and start again.

Who is your favourite author? Do they influence your writing or are they a total break from the sort of thing you write?
As a child, I wouldn't say I had a favourite author. I devoured books like a true book vampire. But looking back - although I love Agatha Christie and Dorothy L Sayers, and Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett - my favourite writer has to be Terrance Dicks. I have so many of his Doctor Who novelisations on my shelf at Mum and Dad's that I would be a fool to argue otherwise. He has such an easy reading style and a way of writing. Whether you're in the mood to devour or dip in and out. His style fits all moments. I suppose as my first three books were scifi he has to have had some influence on me, hasn't he?

Which book(s) are you reading at the moment?
This is a bit of a cheat of an answer. I'm back teaching English – due to a couple of maternity covers – so I'm currently reading:
Much Ado About Nothing with my year 10s
The Woman in Black with Year 9
And Great Expectations with Year 8
And I've been reading a lot of history coursework, but I don't suppose this really counts does it?
I've also had to re-read Cowardice because we've just moved and my context notes are in a box somewhere in storage. Rooky error!

Where do you do most of your writing?
We've just been camping for the first half of this half term, so I've been writing outside the tent, or inside when it was raining. But if I'm honest, I do my best writing in hotel lounges! My favourite hotels for writing are the Haycock in Wansted, Cambs; the Travelodge in Bishops Stortford (our current home whilst the boat is being built) and The Walpole Bay Hotel in Margate. They're all used to me sitting with a laptop, drafting and cursing away. At the Walpole the staff know me so well that sometime after 2pm a bottle of chilled prosecco arrives! One day, I'm going to wear pink and change my name to Barbara Cartland.

Tell us about the character that you've written that you like the most - no spoilers!
Toughy! I enjoyed Valentin from the Aldwych Strand Trilogy, he was complex and mercurial and I was drawn to him. But whilst Symington CC, Sampson and CC are all great, there's something about the Pawnbroker from A Cowardice of Crows that captured my imagination the moment he appeared. Mordecai Gold is a very black and white individual. Very moral in an immoral kind of way. He's ruthless and at times very violent, but he inspires such loyalty from those who work for him that you just have to love him. Even if he is soulless.

What is your favourite biscuit?
Until I found out I was wheat intolerant, I would have said Nice biscuits. They were my Nana's favourite and our little secret. She would sneak them to me when Mum wasn't looking. Mum didn't hold with me eating biscuits. Something to do with not eating my dinner. Now any biscuit that I shouldn't eat, is my favourite!

In the film of your life who would play you? (why)
Alec Guinness. Or possibly David Tennant. Obviously in drag. Why? As anyone who knows me will tell you, I'm eccentric, so why go for an obvious casting?

If you could genetically cross an animal and a vegetable, what would you pick and why? I like the idea of a potato and a sloth...could you get a lazier creature? (my soul mate)
I quite like the idea of crossing a dragon with an aubergine. You'd end up with a dragon's head, tail and legs sandwiched between a smooth slightly bulbous purple body. He'd have to be careful where he breathed. Otherwise you'd have a bit of a crispy dragon! But it would be fun to watch him take off! A bit like a flying dachshund me thinks!

Find her here Sarah E Smith Author page

Here on her Blog

and of course on Twitter here

Big thanks to Sarah for answering my silly questions - now dear reader, do pop off and check out her books and say hello to her on Twitter.

Wordy Wednesday with Lucy Brazier

Welcome to Wordy Wednesday this week with Lucy Brazier author of the Portergirl Novels.

Welcome to the comfy interview chair Lucy, tell us a little about yourself.
I am in my mid 30s and live in Cambridge. Although I have enjoyed writing since I was small, I only really started to take it seriously when I was inspired to start a blog based on my bizarre experiences as the first female Deputy Head Porter at an eminent Cambridge College. The blog has now become a book series; PorterGirl - First Lady Of The Keys was released in 2016 and the follow up, The Vanishing Lord, was just published on 10th June 2017.

"Set in the fictional Old College, the PorterGirl series is described as 'Brit-Lit' and is in the style of classic British farce and has been compared to Evelyn Waugh and Terry Pratchett. There features some of the politest murders ever committed and a decent cup of tea is never far away. But it is the eclectic and eccentric characters that populate this unusual and hitherto little-known world of the academic elite that really bring the action to life."

 "Porters are not the carriers of bags, they are the keepers of keys!’ As one of the most ancient and esteemed establishments of the academic elite, Old College is in for something of a shock when it appoints its very first female Deputy Head Porter."

Why did you start writing?
It has never occurred to me not to write!

List 3 things that are guaranteed to make you smile.
Food
Music
Nudity (I like your thinking)

Who is your favourite author? Do they influence your writing or are they a total break from the sort of thing you write?
It's always a tricky question, this - but it has to be Oscar Wilde. I always knew I wanted to be a writer, but when I read Wilde I knew I wanted to be a great writer. There's no way I can compare myself to dear Oscar, but I would like to think that his effortless use of purple prose has influenced my own work.

Which book(s) are you reading at the moment?
None - I never read when I am writing.

Which three cities would you most like to visit and why?
Rome and Athens - because of my great love of the Classics - and Venice, because I fancy a go in a gondola. They look like flash punts.

Tell us about the character that you've written that you like the most - no spoilers!
My favourite character is The Dean of College. He is highly unpredictable and can do or say pretty much anything, so is enormous fun to write.

What is your favourite biscuit?
Got to be a chocolate digestive.

In the film of your life who would play you?
It would be Rik Mayall, if he wasn't a man and dead. He could capture my slightly unhinged nature quite perfectly.

Would you go to Mars if it was a one way ticket? If not - who would you send instead!?
I don't fancy Mars, it looks rather hot. I suppose I would send someone who likes a warm climate and has shares in a suncream company!

If you could genetically cross an animal and a vegetable, what would you pick and why? I like the idea of asparagus and a giraffe...tender neck
Maybe a lamb and a carrot - I could just chuck it straight in the slow cooker and have a top notch meal with minimum effort.

Grab a copy of Lucy's book at Amazon UK -  PorterGirl: First Lady Of The Keys  or Amazon US

Read her blog at  - www.portergirl.com

Follow Lucy on Twitter - @portergirl100

And 'like' her page on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/lucybrazierauthor/ 

Wordy Wednesday with Fleur Hitchcock

Welcome to Wordy Wednesday - today in the hot seat I would like to introduce Fleur Hitchcock, author of Murder in Midwinter, Bus Stop Baby, and many others. The books are aimed at the younger reader, but I confess the story synopses sound like I might enjoy them too.

So Fleur, tell us about yourself,
I’ve  worked as a shop assistant, a dinner lady, a gardener, and a curator. I have two almost grown up children and live in the West Country and wrangle all the strands of my life. Since 2011 I’ve written books of all sorts for children aged 7 +

My most recent book is Murder in Midwinter which was published in October 2016  It’s about a very average South London girl called Maya. She’s on a bus in London when she spots a man and a woman arguing on the street. The man seems to be holding a gun and Maya takes a photograph with her phone. But he sees her do it. Soon after there’s a murder, and kidnap, and for her safety, Maya is sent far away from home, to the snow covered mountains of Wales, she can’t get out, but can someone else get in?  It’s a page turner thriller for children aged 9+

Do you have another job or are you a full time author? 
I also garden. It’s hard on my back and knees which aren’t getting any younger, but brilliant for my head and also allows me to listen to the radio which is something I really miss about writing.  Some people can write to music, but I have to have a pretty quiet house to function.

Why did you start writing?
I really don’t know – and I actually don’t think I remember beginning to write. I’ve always done it. It’s just I didn’t call myself a writer until I went back and did an MA in my mid forties.

List 3 things that are guaranteed to make you smile.
My neighbour the vicar jumping into his wheelie bin to compress the rubbish (even reading that made me smile, well done!)
Bumble bees.
Finding a table seat on the train.

Do you have any pets? 
We have some decrepit goldfish, but used to have hens. I loved them dearly, but so did the foxes. We’ll have hens again one day. But for now we have to make do with visiting pets.  Every summer, Nom Nom the tortoise comes to stay while his owner goes on holiday. He’s almost our pet, and I miss him terribly when he goes.

Who is your favourite author? Do they influence your writing or are they a total break from the sort of thing you write?
My favourite author is Rose Tremain.  Everything she writes is different, so much so that I couldn’t spot a Rose Tremain book except by the quality of the writing and the humanity of the characters. She doesn’t have a distinctive style as such but her work is  always character led, something I aim towards, and I think RESTORATION is a perfect book. If you haven’t read it, you really should.

Which book(s) are you reading at the moment? 
I’m reading a proof copy of “The Cost of Living” by Rachel Ward. It won’t be published until later on this year, so I’m terribly excited to get an advanced look at it. It’s a brilliant piece of “Cosy” detective fiction that begins in a supermarket with characters called Ant and Bea.  I’m racing through it but I know I have tottering TBR pile cramming in behind.

Where do you do most of your writing?
On any available flat surface in our house. Sometimes that’s my knees. In theory I have a desk in the spare room but it’s so cluttered I often can’t work. Right now it’s piled high with my accounts that will probably stay there, almost finished, until 30th of January.

Tell us about the character that you've written that you like the most - no spoilers!
That’s like asking which of my children I love the most!  I shouldn’t possibly choose, but I’m very fond of Amy in Bus Stop Baby.  She’s 12 and she’s angry and she can’t really express it.  The world only just makes sense to her and she finds adolescence difficult. She wants everything to be simple and logical and it won’t behave that way. During the book, Amy gets herself into trouble with everyone she loves because she jumps to conclusions. I suspect I love her because she’s a bit like I was at that age.

What is your favourite biscuit?
Choco Leibniz – they dunk well, no palm oil and they’re delicious. Excellent choice!

In the film of your life who would play you?
Oh dear – I really don’t know – but I suppose a young me would be a young Diana Rigg – kind of out of control and a little larger than life. Prone to wearing rather tight fitting clothing and creeping around solving crimes. The now me might be the late great Patsy Byrne – she played Nursie in Blackadder. I think Nursie was wiser than she looked. (I adored Nursie)

If you could genetically cross an animal and a vegetable, what would you pick and why? I like the idea of a potato and a sloth...could you get a lazier creature? (my soul mate) 
A badger and a beetroot – just imagine all that purple seeping into the white. BEAUTIFUL!

You can follow Fleur on Twitter @fleurhitchcock
And check out her blog page at www.fleurhitchcock.com
And buy her books via Amazon