Breastfeeding - my experience

Almost 18 years ago now I had a baby. As all mums will tell you, it feels like it was yesterday, they grow so fast. What is it they say? 'The days are long but the years are short' ? Yes that sums up parenthood. Tiring, exhausting, but ultimately amazing and it's all gone in a blink and they are adults themselves.

When I became pregnant I decided I wanted to do everything naturally, or as natural as possible, though I didn't want a home birth. I felt that if everything went well then hospital would be OK and they could do the clean up, and if things went badly, I'd have the support I needed.


I also decided that I wanted to breastfeed my baby. At the time the advice was exclusive for 4 months and then introduce solids but keep breastfeeding alongside for as long as possible. (current World Health Oganisation advice can be found here) That all sounded fine to me and so I didn't buy and bottles, no formula, no sterilising kits. Nothing. I had boobs and I didn't need anything more.


The birth (a water birth) was easy and fairly swift, less than 12 hours. And DD (darling daughter)  was born with a shock of dark hair, eyes to fall into, like deep pools and a gaze with the knowledge of centuries, as babies tend to have. I was instantly in love and started feeding withing minutes of birth. Text book stuff, I stayed in hospital overnight and the midwives checked on my (and her) latch positioning regularly, they asked how things were, checked I was feeding on demand and were just lovely. The midwife that helped deliver her showed me the 'rugby ball hold' as DD preferred to feed on one side and Dave (the midwife) worried I'd get lopsided!


After 48 hours or so I went home and everything was fine, DD slept and ate and was as cute as the cutest button. Life was dreamy.

On day 5 after the birth I woke to discover my milk had 'come in'. What a misleading phrase, it conjures flowing rivers of creamy goodness when in reality it means your tits, whilst looking like a porn stars are suddenly rock hard and tender, engorged and not in a good way! Baby DD found her latch was no longer easy, she looked at me accusingly, suddenly she couldn't feed, and so she wailed. I wailed too. Hearing her wail my body cheerfully created more milk! I hurt! I wailed more, DD wailed. My poor husband looked on helplessly. After 12 hours things had got worse, not better and I was terrified that DD would die of thirst (I had no idea how resilient babies are!) I was hysterical, she was purple in the face from screaming and my husband said he was going to buy bottles and formula right away.


I broke down, felt like a failure, torn between not wanting to give up and feeding my child! Luckily I'm really stubborn. So instead of letting him go for formula I said we should phone the labour ward, they had said we could phone for any reason, at any time (it was now 10pm) I rang, they said to come straight in. And so we did.


The loveliest nurses and midwives in the world took DD for a walk around the ward to calm her (and, looking back on it maybe to give her a sly drink!) while another midwife made me tea and calmed me down. Then they brought a now calmer DD back in and helped her get a grip, it felt like they just held her head against my boob until she had no choice but to suck! But maybe it was more subtle than that.

Whatever they did it worked, she glugged (you could hear her glugging!) and emptied both breasts. Poor hungry baby - she then slept for about 8 hours. We went home and after that we didn't look back. DD continued breastfeeding as and when until she was 4 months when she was keen to eat! She raced up the centiles chart (chubster!) and then gradually settled when she started eating food. She continued to breastfeed until she was 10 months old, when she self weaned having discovered cups and food easier that the work needed to breastfeed! Such a cute and lazy baby.



The things I loved about breastfeeding were; the lack of preparation, you want milk, it's there (and no extras to carry when you go out) ; the snuggles, tiny pudgy hands massaging you as baby drinks, like a little kitten; the cheapness, I didn't buy bottles, or sterilisers; the supposed health benefits were just a bonus if I'm honest


My experience of breastfeeding was fabulous. I want other mums to know it can be great, and support can be great too - never be afraid to ask. If I hadn't had help I might have given up on day 5! I felt like a failure but mum's shouldn't, there is no reason you should be good at it! It's a skill and both you and baby have to learn. Take your time, get help, enjoy.

And if you don't breastfeed? That time is gone in a blink anyway - enjoy every precious second with your child.

Teaching a teen to drive with minimal screaming

As the lovely DD has turned 17 her thoughts naturally turned to...nope not marriage, driving.

The first thing I discovered was that adding a new driver (even just a learner) to your insurance makes the price go up. I'm not talking a tiny bit either, my insurance company told me that they don't want to insure young drivers so my quote went from £300 a year to over £800 a year. Obviously I high tailed it to Compare the Meerkat to get another opinion! I am now with a different company, insured for £300 ish again. What a weird world. (oh and I get a free meerkat toy, so win win)

I have a Fiat Panda so it's a nice small car to practice in, has a great driving position with excellent visibility, and DD isn't scared of it, of course my fear factor when she takes the driving seat is on another level all together.


What I can't offer DD is a driving lesson. I'm not a qualified driving instructor and I passed my test (first time, *proud face*) way back when I was young (25 years ago) so I have no idea how much of what I was taught is still in the test, and of course there is a theory test now that I didn't have to worry about.
But I can offer DD some basic pointers and time to practice. And so after a few tense minutes talking about clutch control and braking we went out for a drive.

As the 'reponsible' driver in charge of a learner (I know!) I had to behave exactly as I would when driving. So no tweeting, no having a glass of cava to steady my nerves, in the eyes of the law, *I* am in charge of the car.

But so that you could enjoy the mayhem fun, we set my phone up on the satnav holder, out of the way, and set it to record before we set off. Note my calm and relaxed posture, the lack of screaming, the smiling...I think I did pretty well.

Of course we have invested in 'proper' lessons too. And after a hunt around for someone that
   a) had availability (many teachers are booked up months in advance) 
   b) we could afford (prices ranged from £15 - £30 an hour and some could only be purchased as a bulk booking of ten or more)
   c) DD got on with OK (a 'trial' lesson should be possible with most instructors as teaching styles should ideally be matched to the pupil's learning style)
we settled on a teacher. He is taking DD out once a week in a dual controlled car so that his blood pressure hopefully won't rival mine after an hour in the car with her.

Have you taught a teen to drive? Will you be allowing your child to drive your car? Share your horror stories below.

Camp Bestival is only days away and yet still new things are being announced!

Camp Bestival keep emailing me and each email is better than the last!

Now they are unveiling that not one, but two utterly awesome Giant Astronauts built by Shipshape Arts will be joining the space cadets and festival fans at Camp Bestival.

Resplendent in gleaming space suits, and stationed in the Magic Meadow, Camp Bestivals very own super star-sailors stand at an astronomical seven metres tall and will be bathed in their own special cosmic light under starry skies.

Sure to be an awe-inspiring sight, you won’t be able to miss these twin emblems of exploration and discovery.

But that’s not all, I've been told to be prepared to be dazzled by the elegant beauty of Celestial Dreaming. A stunning, interactive installation designed by glowing friends And Now: take your family on a voyage through the infinite possibilities of an enchanting solar system filled with glistening constellations, cosmic relics and storytelling star gazers.

As the sun sets Celestial Dreaming will radiate the burnished light of 450 points of fire arranged in incandescent orbits, celebrating the majestic brilliance of the universe. One of the most exquisitely breath-taking spectacles you’re likely to see at a festival, Celestial Dreaming is your chance to get lost in space.

I'm sure these two cosmic treats will spark some out of this world costume ideas for Saturday’s
fancy dress parade. As you know I'm all set with mine!

See you there?

SATs and why I (almost) like them

A blog post today as a follow on from something my daughter said on the morning of the SATs and the subsequent twitter chat on the subject.

SATs are compulsory national tests for primary school pupils. Children in England are required to take Standard Assessment Tests (SATs) at the age of 11 (school year 6). SATs were first introduced in 1991 for Key Stage 1 (KS1)
SATs are given at the end of year 2, year 6 and year 9. They are used to show your child's progress compared with other children born in the same month.

It won't have escaped your attention that some parents kept their children away from school for the day (risking fines) as a protest.

My daughter is 16 and currently revising for her GCSEs. She was surprised at the kerfuffle, and stated that while she didn't love tests or exams, starting them early, including 'big' tests' has helped to prepare her for the ones she now faces and she thinks that starting testing early is good as it starts to make tests common place and takes away the fear often associated with them.
She went on to say, that in her opinion, it is the adults making a fuss about the tests (and she included teachers, parents, and I suspect, the media, in this 'adult' group) that is the real problem, not the tests themselves, which she said she didn't really even notice when she had the first ones at age 6 and was OK with at age 11 as the teachers didn't make a big deal about it.

I've always held by the belief that tests are a useful gauge of how teaching is going, and can pick up on children that are falling behind, or leaping ahead of their peers, it can help to stream classes and that can be a good thing. But I also don't think that testing children more and more will improve teaching.

Improving teaching is based on lots of things, mainly the teachers themselves, and the curriculum they are given. I think a wider curriculum is better as it is more likely to capture childrens' imaginations. (currently I think teachers feel compelled to teach to do well at exams)

So, I was interested that a child that has recently done the tests was in favour of them, though many adults are telling me they have changed since she took them. And that opens up a whole new can of worms about changing the ways schools, teaching and exams happen; I firmly believe that constant change is a bad thing. Changing in education has become a thing that politicians seem to do now for the sake of it. We really need to look at why we are schooling children. To make good workers? To improve their minds? To help them think? And then look at the best way to achieve that goal and stick to it (sorry I have rambled off of the point)

My own view is that testing is needed. It should start early with the emphasis being that it is the teaching being tested and the children should not even be told it's happening to begin with. (am I the only parent that remembers the 'school inspectors' of the 70s visiting the school and sitting in the back of class making notes, and on the day before the visit the teachers begging us to behave?) But constant testing won't improve teaching or learning, so let's let teachers get on with that too.

If you fancy telling me what YOU think, pop over to Facebook where I have a page that would love your thoughts, or tweet me.
Thanks for reading.


"Mummy is a Gadget Geek" also wrote on this subject here

and you can try your luck at a mini SATs here (I scored 6/10)

It’s not the winning it’s the taking part

It’s not the winning it’s the taking part. I hate that phrase. We’ve all heard it, might even have said it, but deep down do we believe it?

Taking part is part of the thing of course, but in any competitive event surely it is the winning we want? After all why compete if you don’t want to win? I don’t mean that you shouldn’t do things that you know you won’t win, but when you do something, you know that you want to, you want to win.  Saying 'It’s not the winning it’s the taking part' implies that the winning is not just not the most important bit, but that it’s hardly important at all – and while there are a few exceptions where runners lose a race helping an injured runner over a finish line etc – winning is important. Winning is the best bit.

Winning and competing are important. As is learning to be magnanimous in glory and stoic in defeat, and we can’t learn to be a good winner or a good loser if we don’t do it and we if don’t play to win.

I was terrible at sport as a child, I came last in every event I was ever forced to enter – winning seemed like a shining light at the end of a long dark tunnel of pain. I hated sport, I hated it because it wasn't the taking part it was the winning, and I never won. "It's not the winning it's the taking part" is a sop given to a loser. It's not true, and if anything it makes a loss sting harder, I would rather have been told "Oh well, better luck next time, you never know, keep trying"

Later when I grew up and was diagnosed with Charcot-Marie-Tooth I felt better about my lack of physical skills, after all, I often won at chess or cards, I was great at quizzes too. And that’s what hits home to me, that instead of telling people that it’s the taking part we should try and find things they are good at, fail at a few things but strive to find your winning event. Maybe there is something that you really love but you never win at? Well that's great, keep trying, enjoy trying, but don’t fool yourself with that ‘taking part’ talk, you know it, I know it – you want the feeling of winning.

Sometimes that win is beating your own personal time of course, not all events involve competing against another person, plenty of marathons are run by people who won’t come first but hope to conquer personal bests, or illness, or fear, that’s still winning.

If you get to the Olympics/Paralympics it's a big deal, but don't tell me those athletes don't want to win! Winning is the best feeling.

And if it's not the winning but the taking part that is important why is there an idea that you should always let children win at games played against adults? Lots of parents seem to do this. I’m obviously an horrific and cruel parent as I have never purposely let DD win at things. I might give her a headstart, more cards, etc because she is younger or smaller, but let her win? No way! If we played Top Trumps, I played to win, draughts? I’ll take a queen please and then all your pieces. Skittles? Give me that ball and let’s see who’s the best, you get the picture.

And yes sometimes DD cried and railed and complained “it’s not FAIR” and I would say “shall we play again but I’ll let you win?” and she would look daggers and say “No! that’s not fair either” And so she grew older, bigger, cleverer and eventually she started to beat me. Of course games of chance like snakes and ladders had always given her the odd taste of victory, but now she was winning based on her memory and cunning (Top Trumps) or her balance and steady hand skills (Jenga) or her speed (first one to the ice cream van gets free ice cream) And she flipping loved it. She loved to win because it was real.

She still loves to win now, and to be good at things. Yesterday she innocently asked me to help with a tricky question in her maths homework…it may as well have been written in Klingon when I looked at it! She sniggered, she already knew the answer. “It’s not FAIR!” I wailed.

Art and the internet

Recently I've been excited to see photos of Banksy's new installation 'Dismaland' and I've been dying to see it for myself, but it seems that tickets are hard to get hold of, the travel is a bit far for me and it's only open until the end of September. So it seems that I will have to make do with looking at the art online.

It made me realise how lucky we are to have so much art available at the touch of a button. I have visited (and loved) many famous art galleries, Tate Modern, The National Portrait Gallery, the Prado, Museo Nacional Centro de Arte Reina Sofía, and more but even if you cannot get to these famous galleries, with the wonder of the internet you can see so many paintings (and other art forms) instantly, even on your phone.

I know that seeing a picture in real life is different, but it is so much better to see something online than not at all. And while art books have been available for years, seeing them involves trips to the library or money to spend. The joy of the internet is so much free art to look at. And then if you like it you could either plan to go and see the real thing or even buy a life sized print of your favourites.

I'm a huge fan of Salvador Dali, Picasso and Goya, loving the dark nightmare-ish qualities of some of those paintings, look at the hideous dark beauty of Goya's work "Saturn devouring one of his sons" for example.

I've seen this one in real life, amazing artist

 There are lots of websites to look at art, Artsy.net is a great place to start, because it has information aboout the artists and the works as well as pictures. (and if you are feeling flush they sometimes have works for sale)

It's a great place for kids to browse too, no worries about them getting bored and playing up in a gallery - let them find what they like in the relative comfort of your own home, children can surprise you with what they like too! Given the chance to look at paintings by the old masters they can also be surprisingly perceptive.

Do you have a favourite piece of art? Do you have any original artworks in your house? Or a reproduction print that your children love? I'd love to know!

I am proud that my daughter can cook

I like cooking and I like baking. I don't tend to watch TV shows about it but I like to be in the kitchen and rustle up something tasty. I don't get all worried about expiry dates (see a post where I ranted about them here) and except for cakes, I am pretty relaxed about measurements and quantities. I'm the sort of cook that bungs things into a pan, slops in some water, uses measurements like 'a knob of butter' and 'some flour'.

I think I like that 'knob of butter' is so common in the uk it's on packets of things. It seems so official pic.twitter.com/pj7Kqomv8Q
— Tattooed_Mummy (@tattooed_mummy) March 22, 2015

I have been pleased to have DD help me cook since she was old enough to stand on a chair and see the counter top. It's great to start early, teach about hand washing, why we can't lick our fingers (!) while cooking and why we should tie our hair back when using the gas cooker. Knife safety, fire safety, all great learning topics while you bake too. We used to make cupcakes (buns?) together often when she was a toddler and we still make them now - she just does most of the work now that she is 15. (while I'm on clearing up duty) She has grown into someone that likes to cook too - and she is also a big fan of TV baking, somewhat in love with Mary Berry and inappropriately fond of Paul Hollywoods kneading technique!

She can cook pancakes using 'some flour, an egg or two and some milk and a splash of oil'.

Pancake making

She can poach an egg (almost as perfectly as I can), fry eggs, scramble them, make omelettes...lets just say she is good with eggs.

Fried Egg muffin

She can make pastry (much better than mine - she has cold hands) , cook pies, biscuits. She can make pasta bakes and whole meals from scratch. She knows how to mash potatoes and how to prepare vegetables.

Cake

Peach, parma ham, and mozzarella pizzas with rocket

And all this makes me proud, particularly when her friends come round and she cooks. I hear them saying to her that they are not allowed to cook or that they don't know how to. Dd has told me that several friends don't do any cooking at all at home - reminding me of my own friend who left school without the first clue how to cook - once ringing me to get advice on fish fingers and finally marrying a man who could cook, which was just as well!

Do your children cook? What age did you (or do you plan to) start cooking with your children?

Because you need to start them young, nothing nicer than finally realising you have a child that can cook you breakfast and bake you a birthday cake.

Here's some we made earlier (last weekend). Happy Easter!

Easter Biscuits

Easter cakes

Petition or Pitchfork?

Online is a funny old world. Social media can often be the fastest 'news' source around and most days I am guilty of checking it before the more standard news sources. We all know by now (I hope) that just because a story is in the paper, in print, it doesn't necessarily follow that it's true. And most of us are aware that fiction can be slewed to fact and vice versa, but oddly we seem happy to trust 'real people', those faceless strangers we meet online.

Twitter is a great place and I really enjoy talking to people there. I'm opinionated (no really!) and so are many people I follow. Opinions are great but some days it seems we forget that opinions are not fact. A huge group of people seem to find that with the advent of 'instant news' via social media, that their opinion, and the facts of a matter can be just as instantly determined.

Wait for all the facts? Don't be silly, I have seen what twitter said and so now I know! In fact there was an article in the Sun/Guardian/Times/Mirror and they agree so it must be true. And  now I am sure that xxxxx is guilty. And that xxxxx is innocent and so next I shall ask, nay demand! that everyone agree with me and grab pitchforks to attack the guilty and sign a petition to protect the innocent!

This was aptly shown his week with the Jeremy Clarkson 'fracas' affair. Currently the BBC, his employer, are looking into the facts. Yet over 300,000 are so sure of his innocence that they have signed a petition while equal numbers malign him and demand his sacking. 

I wasn't there, I know this may shock you, but I don't know the details of what happened. So I will wait and see.

Petitions and pitchforks are a simple analogy for this failure to stop and think. Both have proper useful functions but either, grabbed in haste, make you look foolish when all the facts are revealed. I'd like to think that even in an instant age of fast moving social media we can still use our brains, can still stop and think before we act.

Christopher Jefferies is a man who experienced pitchforks, fuelled by media and misinformation, let us not forget him, let us not be too hasty to be sure that we are right, let us gather facts and make decisions based on them.

Instant social media interaction is fantastic fun. But it should not replace courts and juries, nor a bit of thoughtful common sense. A tweet is just a tweet, it can be a fact or not, I'm not saying you should never act on a tweet, I'm saying you need to use some thought, check, check other sources, don't grab the proverbial pitchfork or sign anything until you are sure, and even then ask yourself is this the best course of action? Don't fall into the 'outrage trap' that can blur a true view of things in its red mist.

The one thing that social media can be great for is asking, asking the questions, keeping a story in the public eye. Never feel you need to keep silent about an important issue. Shouting at those in power, demanding answers can be a vital role of the general public, we have power in our numbers.  Do you have all the facts? If you don't have all the facts, demand them.

But put down your pitchfork, close that online petition page, think about why you have decided your course of action.

Art by DD and me ...she did the angel and devil

Rosetta Stone - Learning French at home

Back in March DD and I were lucky to be invited to review Rosetta Stone's language course for a few months. As DD is learning French for GCSE we opted for that but they have a vast language selection! (24 languages - I just checked)

I was impressed from the start. I had no idea what it would be like, and my own experience of learning another language was limited to French at school, and Spanish on holiday. I had found the informal setting of a holiday much more conducive to learning! (the beer probably helped, they don't allow beer at school)

Right from the beginning Rosetta teaches you in the language you are learning. There is no translation. The teaching follows the way a child learns; first we are shown pictures of 'things' and the word is clearly spoken, after a few repetitions and when you can quickly recognise and click the correct picture then verbs are added, so we see a cup, a dog, a house, then we see people drinking from a cup, after a while we see the people are not all the same, the sentence is building, a boy is drinking from a cup, a girl is drinking from a cup and so on. So you feel like you are playing a game, matching spoken phrases to pictures and the complexity is building but slowly ..well at your speed because of course Rosetta can measure your score, and time your reactions.

I enjoyed it and after a few moans and teen style grumbles so did DD. Amazing how quickly you find yourself reacting to the pictures, not really translating the words into English, just instinctively knowing what they mean.

And then there is the speaking aspect. You can speak into the microphone and the software listens and corrects your pronunciation. This was ideal for us! We are both way too shy to speak to a real person! (which is a shame as the online version has the option to speak to native speakers of your language! Proper French people to chat to if only we were brave enough) So DD could listen, learn, repeat and then start to actually say what she saw.

The learning isn't super fast but what you learn does seem to stay put, because you are really learning not just remembering or translating in your head.

I'm so impressed I think we will be buying the CD version for the family.

Because there are two options to buy Rosetta Stone depending on what you need. See here for details, but one is online for a year and includes the opportunity to speak to people and other extras like apps and games, the CD is a set price, but you miss some of the extras.

The full online version also includes apps for the ipad, which are slick and easy to use and of course as it's online it collates all the scores etc, so you can switch back and forth and keep your place. And fun games, though the actual learning is such fun it's all like a game. I think it would be suitable for the whole family!

At the moment there is a special offer on - buy the CD for £199 (saving £100 on the usual price) maybe a family treat for the summer holidays? Or a father's day gift? It is certainly worth the investment in my opinion. And you can add up to 5 people, so most families could share a course (you need separate accounts as the course tracks your progress and you set the voice recognition for specific people). Much more tailored to you than a group lesson and with the option to speak to people if you wish or just learn on your own until you are more confident. And it's actually fun!

You can try a demo on the site to see what I mean.

I'll leave the last word to DD, who says  "I like it because it's just easy to learn and use."

Disclaimer - I was able to use Rosetta Stone for 3 months for free for the purpose of reviewing it. The thoughts in the blog post (especially the bit about beer) are my own

Life, the final frontier

DD and I just sat down and went through her 'options' booklet from school. She is 14, and suddenly her life is moving from fun and papier mache animals for homework,into the realms of serious study, exams...work.

It's exciting, a leap into the world; but it's scary too, what if she makes the wrong choice or hates what she chose?

And even if she gets all the results she needs...what next? Things have changed a lot since I left school, and the careers advice I received was terrible anyway.

Which is why I was excited to hear about vInspired.

Vinspired is a charity dedicated to helping young people from all walks of life reach their potential. In the past 5 years vInspired have created over 1 million opportunities for young people to volunteer, laying the foundation for future enterprise and employment. A way to get that vital experience that many employers look for.

Over one in five young people aged 16-24 is out of work. So it’s no longer good enough just to have good grades to get into further education or get a job – young people need to get experience in the workplace. vInspired can help; but that's not all, they have put together a Job Jumpstarter Pack.

The vInspired Job Jumpstarter Pack gives simple but effective tips from how to make an application, to practice interview questions, all based on insight from businesses across the UK and what they are looking for from prospective applicants.

The FREE pack contains:

• CV templates and tips to make a great first impression.
• An interview checklist, test questions and answers to come across as confident and competent.
• Application form advice to get noticed for the right reasons.
• Advice on building a LinkedIn profile to build networks
• How to get voluntary experience through vInspired, giving you the experience to get your dream job
• Plus inspiring real life stories from people who’ve been in your shoes, plus online awareness advice and more

Simply Visit http://jumpstarter.vinspired.org/  to get a copy. (and I'll be honest - lots of adults will find this really useful too! )

While DD doesn't quite need to worry about a job yet, I can see it's going to happen very very soon, so it's great to find stuff like this is out there,especially free!

Have you had to face this with your kids yet? Do you have a plan? If you have any other suggestions or links to useful information, do add them in a comment. Thanks

The Moon in a Shoebox

Are you a parent of a school age child? if so you will know the enormous amount of 'projects' that have to be completed at home, and will understand that depending on your child's age and how keen on the project they are the amount of help they need from you can vary from 0 - 100%

at the weekend my 10 year old and I finally finished a long planned 'moon' project. The brief was that it had to be 'something about the moon or space or the stars, with facts.' Previous entries had included papier mache moons, model space craft, plans of stars etc.

Well I can take credit for the idea and minimal assistance with the sticking. Daughter was in charge of planning, picture choice, cutting and placement. Also the facts were all researched, selected and printed etc by her.

The results are below. It is the first project where we both learned stuff, we both had fun, and we are both proud of the finished product!

The shoe box has a tracing paper panel in the lid to allow light in....should you wish to make your own! ;-)