Which Christmas tree is best, fake or real?

It's the time of year for tree wars. It's like the breastfeeding vs bottle wars but with more tinsel. (unless you are a really flamboyant breast feeder!)  So before everyone starts burning each others trees down in rage I thought I'd do a quick round up of real vs fake Christmas trees.

First The Real Tree:

• It smells of loveliness and the wild outdoors and Christmas
• You don't have to store it between Christmases (a big consideration if you like a largish tree and have little storage space, no loft, garage, shed etc)
• Trees are a renewable crop just like cabbages,(not exactly like cabbages, cabbages are difficult to decorate and trees are really hard to boil)  while they grow they do breathing and stuff that is good for the planet, and they are biodegradable.
• They are pricey though - this year the price of a tree (depending on where you live) varies from £4 a foot to an eye watering £20 a foot!
• They drop needles. Yep, even the non drop varieties, and even if you spray them with non droppy needle spray stuff. Those sharp little needles get everywhere, terrible if you have a crawling baby, merely annoying otherwise (unless you are having naked sex in the lounge under the tree then all bets are off).  Hoover daily, sometimes twice.
• Insects. You might bring them in with the tree or they might decide to live there later. Whatever, it's a party villa for creepy crawlies...but in your lounge.

And the Fake Tree:

• After the initial spend (which can be considerable but often comparable to a real tree, see above) they are reusable so will become cheaper per year with the passing of time. I have an 8 ft tree I bought in 2001 and it's still in use, it cost £50 ( so £50/15 years = £3.30 per year)
• You can get wild colours to match your decor. It's a bit 80s I admit, but you can get trees to match a chic white colour scheme, or a blue Elsa and Frozen themed one...or (probably) a pink Peppa pig themed tree. In the 80s Mr TM and I had a white tinsel tree with pink baubles ... we really are too classy :-/
• They don't drop needles (don't panic, I'm going to try not to just write two lists that contradict each other) They are less mess, you can skip the hoovering.
• You can put them up as early as you like because they will always look the same! They won't get browner or lose needles and look thinner as Christmas approaches, they are as bushy on January 6th as they were on December 1st
• You don't have to trek around to find the perfect tree, after the first year you are sorted, there is the perfect tree. In your loft! (so yeah, you need storage space)
• They need to be 'put together'. Most large trees are in pieces and need some erection, and fluffing (stop that!) to get them to their prime. (DD would like to point out this is great family bonding time...she does the fluffing)

Our 15 year old tree

So there we have it. Trees for Christmas can be real or fake, each have their merits and disadvantages and your personal situation and choice will come to bear on what you get. I honestly don't think there is a right or a wrong answer. We have a fake tree. What sort of tree do you have? I'd love to see it - tweet me a picture at Tattooed Mummy or share a photo on my Facebook page, or comment below. 

Top 10 things women find attractive in men

1. Beards – woman love manly bearded men, so masculine, proper man of the wild, able to protect and support a family, all that displayed in a face. Lovely. Also added benefit of tickles.
2. Smooth shaven men – women love a man with a shaved, smooth face. Demonstrating a commitment to regular grooming, clean and smart. A man that can think and make decisions, while in touch with his emotions. Added benefits, no stubble rash when kissing.
3. Muscular men – a man that has power, rippling muscles beneath the skin, at ease with himself because he can feel his own strength. A man to hold you in manly arms…Added benefit of winning cuddly toys at the test your strength machines at the fair.
4. Thin men – ah the joy of the geek, he is pale and looks like maybe he doesn’t get out much but he has a glint in his eye, a bright intelligence, a quick wit, honed form years reading or studying, or just being alone thinking. Added benefit of being able to talk about things, may cry at sad films..actually lots of men do that – don’t say I told you
5. Chubby men – something to snuggle into. A warm and cuddly bulk of a man, someone not afraid to order a starter and a dessert so you can do the same! No one likes to feel bad about what they eat. Give this man some cake. Added benefit of cake.
6. Tall men – someone to make you feel all feminine and girly, a man to tower over you, to reach high shelves, to lift you onto his shoulders at festivals. A useful man, see him tall in a crowd, looking over the heads of everyone, reporting back to tell you what’s going on. Added benefit of saving on step ladders.
7. Short men – no one likes neck ache, how fine to have a man your own height, or maybe even slightly shorter, rock those heels and make him feel like a millionaire with a hot babe on his arm. Mother him, or pretend he’s an Italian gangster (unless he is an Italian gangster, then just revel in being his ‘moll’) Added benefit of eye contact and romantic gazes.
8. Hairy men – manly to a fault, gorilla like chest hair, prefect to snuzzle on a cold evening, or to run your fingers through on a sunny day at the beach. Added benefit of warmth.
9. Smooth bodied men – naturally smooth or shaven, showing off the shape on the body beneath, no hair to get stuck in your teeth. A nice smooth skin under a white shirt, perfect to tan or to keep pale. Added benefit of lickability.
10. Being a man – women that find men attractive often find men attractive, due to them being men. Sometimes you can’t say what it is that made you look twice, or made you realise he was the one, sometimes you can’t say if it was his eye colour, his funny taste in shirts or his loud laugh. Maybe it was the way he held a tea cup or the way he flexed a bicep. Sometimes a man is just attractive and women don’t know why.

I think by now you ‘ve got the point…men (and people in general) are all different and amazingly we all like different things too, one person loves a joker, always laughing, pulling pranks; another likes a serious type, someone to be thoughtful in difficult circumstances. Where one person loves a redhead, another prefers the distinguished look of grey hair.

Shush Mr Tumble, that's a whole other post!

When I see lists on the internet of ‘Top 10 things men hate in a woman’ or ‘Top 10 things men love in a woman’ (and I’ve seen a few lately, hence this post) I want to scream!! I have rarely seen a ‘What women love in a man’ type post or even a ‘What men find attractive in men’ post but I’m sure they are out there. I’m putting this post up to remind us all that different is good and with all the amazing people in the world I’m pretty sure that if you want to find one who is perfect for you, you will.

And yes this is horribly hetero centric, because I’m straight , but it applies to all people really, I’m fairly sure straight, gay, undecided, bi, whatever, people like all sorts of other people…go forth, be single, or find a friend (or friends) have fun. Be most excellent to each other.

School Dinner vs Pack lunches...there is only one way to decide .. FIGHT!

Gaze on that healthy physique!

I’m very very old and so I started school at the beginning of the 70s (stop sniggering and no, there were not still dinosaurs) anyway. Everyone had school dinners. There were a couple of kids that had packed lunches but I think that was because they were weird had food intolerances and in the 70s you weren’t allowed to have any unusual food requests. There were no vegetarians either, well there might have been but they just got the same as the rest of us, minus the meat with an extra potato if they were lucky. School dinner was meat (or fish) and potato (mashed or boiled) and two veg, usually mashed swede (I love that!) or boiled cabbage (love that too!) or peas (processed not frozen) maybe an exotic like sweetcorn on a good day. Pasta was confined to macaroni cheese, other forms of pasta were still very new and foreign. I don’t remember rice, ever. Pudding was a stodgy sponge thing, with fruit or jam maybe, and custard (eat your lumps they are good for you). (insert spotted dick joke). There were dinner ladies too and their job was to ensure you ate everything that was put on your plate. You couldn’t refuse things. I threw up over a dinner lady that made me eat liver. I still heave just thinking about liver.

So, school dinners, they just were. You ate them and were grateful. If you were a fleabag poor you got them free and the other kids looked down on you, but at least you didn’t starve.

Then the government in their wisdom changed things, they brought in canteen style choice, chips, pizza, burgers, salads etc, let kids pick and choose what they ate, it was all very American and glossy, the kids loved it and surprise surprise they started eating crap. So parents started sending kids in with packed lunches, they were at least as healthy, usually more so and cheaper. School dinner takeup dwindled, and some areas (such as the one I live in) closed all the school kitchens and stopped doing school dinners altogether.

Some schools in our area have brought school dinners back via private companies that bring the food in and reheat it on site. It looks ok and there are healthy options….but it’s not cheap, it is not all healthy and a huge amount of what is on the menu my own DD doesn’t like, as they can choose not to eat it, she would go hungry, or just buy cakes. She takes a healthy packed lunch. There is fruit, carbs, a drink, maybe a treat such as a homemade cake.

Now the government want to mess about again and ban packed lunches. Head teachers apparently (if you believe the news) agree with this bizarre plan. I suggest that first they ensure every school has the ability to actually provide a lunch. Also to ensure that there is NOTHING unhealthy on the menu if the children are allowed to choose. And also ensure that the dinners are only a few pence a day, because as any parent knows budgeting can ensure cheap packed lunches. A loaf, some ham, hummus, cheese or tuna. Some fresh veg cut up, maybe a brown rice salad with raisins, grated carrot and some chicken. When you buy things in bulk for the week (or longer if you have a freezer) you can make lunches for pennies(ideas link).



So what do you think? Back to the ‘good old days’ of meat and two veg and being forced to eat it? Only a school café where kids can choose? Or leave us the heck alone to feed our children? (I expect you can sense my feelings)





PS we sometimes had spam fritters in the 70s , when you pressed them with a fork, oil oozed out across the plate…yum 



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