The day I stole my daughters Ed Balls fame

So on Ed Balls Day in 2013 my daughter made a cake.

I guess Ed Balls day was still fairly new, no one got excited. We ate the cake. The world moved on.

This year on 28th April I tweeted

Cake for breakfast! After all...it's Ed Balls day! Have a good one! #EdBalls #EdBallsDay pic.twitter.com/K325rdkKWO

— Tattooed_Mummy (@tattooed_mummy) April 28, 2015

and thought not much more about it, it still tickled me that we had made an Ed Balls cake but otherwise...well that was it.

And then, someone rounding up witty Ed Balls themed tweets shared it on a list. Then The Guardian mentioned the tweet. Then Mashable shared the tweet, and Buzzfeed shared the tweet, then The Metro picked up on it. Finally it appeared on the BBC News website.

My daughter was livid. I had foolishly (because I hadn't been thinking) failed to mention her or mention that it was 'her cake'. I was 'famous' for five minutes, my daughter was not.

She is proud of her cake, and furious at me. Here, have some cake.

Swimming costume giveaway (£25 Voucher)

After yesterday's blog post reminder that we all have beach bodies, it seemed like fate that today I can offer you a swimming costume giveaway!

You may not be aware that I don't swim (*can't swim) but I live on the coast and so lounging about, looking awesome, while scantily clad, is very much in my remit.

DD on the other hand can swim and dive very well, in fact she once scammed me into paying out £200 in sponsorship for a swim in that I thought she'd manage about 10 lengths (she swam 100 at £2 a length! note to self - always add maximum amount to sponsorship form in future).

Swimming and lounging require various swimming costumes in my opinion and Swimshop have some fabulous sleek looking costumes, I imagine just looking at them would make you cut through the water faster.

They stock top brands, various sizes, and cater for men, women and children.

So if you or your family are up for a splash about then this is for you. I have £25 to be won to spend on the Swimshop site. And as they have gorgeous swim suits and bikinis from £14.99 and men's trunks, swimming accessories and children's pool toys too, you can treat yourself, or someone you like.

My favourite swimming costume is this one. (Because life is too short for shy and retiring!)

Maru Women's Sparkle Swimsuit - £27.99

This competition has ended.

Is your body beach ready?

Copyright: / 123RF Stock Photo

Ladies, is your body ready for a bikini? a swimming costume?

Men is your body all set for baggy trunks or tight speedos?

Of course it is!

The only things needed for a beach body are a beach and a body! (maybe a warm day)  Depending on the beach even the swimming costume is sometimes optional.

After a week in which a certain poster was decried, and larger than 'average' ladies (and as an aside, there will always be people larger and smaller than average, that's how averages work) were told they should not be able to shop in highstreet shops and should rather be 'ashamed' of their bodies, I thought I'd post.

Being outside of an average is of course normal. Being a size is just being a size. Some people are happy with their size and some are not, but pretty much every one dislikes being told negative stuff about their size, it is rarely motivating (I'm currently dieting to lose a few pounds, but I am getting fed up with being told I don't need to, or on one occasion last week that "you don't have any arse to speak of anyway" gee thanks) I suggest companies and famous people stop with negative stuff for a bit and embrace the varied populace with a bit of love and positivity.

Let's make clothes in sizes from very small to very large. I'd expect fewer items in the edges of the range but not none. Let's use various manikin sizes. Some styles suit larger figures better (IMO) and some suit smaller, but let's let buyers decide what they like.

Also I have an idea for companies wanting to sell diet products, and this idea is free, you can use it if you like.

Start with the headline Is Your Body Bikini Ready?

Follow up with Of Course it is and You Look Awesome!

then go with But if You Want Your Body to be a Different Shape We Can Help With That.

Then move on to All Bodies are Excellent, but if you need a change we can help.
Cue adverts re protein shakes, slimming bars and cake.

Cake

Simple.

Copyright: mik122 / 123RF Stock Photo

Top Ten Smoothie Making Tips

I use a Smoothie2Go smoothie maker that was a gift. I like it because it’s simple, cheap and easy to clean, so it hasn’t been used once and ignored! Summer is coming and I’m feeling fruity! I thought you might be too so here are my top ten smoothie making tips.

Copyright: / 123RF Stock Photo

• Use recipes. If you are new to smoothies don’t be scared to follow someone else’s plan. Once you get used to making them you’ll get more adventurous, but at the start, before you are sure which fruits complement each other, use some recipes.

• Use a cheaper juice as the liquid. Smoothie makers smooth and blend fruit into a liquid but they need some liquid to start with! Use common juices as a base, orange, pineapple, apple. Later when you try new things branch out into coconut, cranberry or guava.

• Don’t add ice. Some people will suggest you add ice when blending to cool the smoothie, don’t. Ice just dilutes the smoothie and might stop the fruits blending. If the fruit is very warm the ice will melt even faster and not make a noticeable difference. Try using a chilled ‘base juice’

• Use frozen berries and fruit. Perfect to make a frozen smoothie but without ice! Buy a bag of frozen berries in the supermarket and you’ll always have fruit on hand for a smoothie. Or freeze your own when it’s in season.

• Add alcohol to a frozen smoothie. Make your own exotic cocktail (over 18s only) to drink on a sunny day or after work …mmmmm… almost healthy.

• Smoothies are best made and drunk fresh. Storing them is OK but they can separate or change colour as the fruit acids oxidise. Short term storage won’t hurt you but kids might be put off by the ‘weird’ look. So try and drink them fresh.

• Use milk and yogurt sometimes instead of (or with) fruit. Lots of recipes for more filling smoothies are out there. Ice cream is another fun dairy based addition, mix and match some flavours and make your own thick shakes. Honey is good as a sweetener for both milk and fruit based drinks.

• Warm smoothies are nice! You can make warm smoothies using milk bases and oats, apple, honey and cinnamon for example, tastes like apple pie! Delicious, and great for bedtime.

• Buy some smoothie straws. Ordinary straws are too narrow for smoothies. ‘Bits’ will get stuck in the straw and the power you need to suck a thick juice up a thin straw is surprising! Buy a box of wider smoothie straws, and maybe long spoons for those really thick frozen smoothies.

• Once you are used to the proportions of fruit/frozen fruit/juice or milk etc, take some risks and try your own recipes. Try some of your favourite fruits together. Experiment with tinned fruits too. Some fruits are more watery and bland than others, you need very few raspberries to add flavour but most strawberries are tasteless for example (in my opinion) Fruit that is getting past its best is great in a smoothie…bananas looking over ripe? Make a banana ice cream smoothie!

Good luck – Do you have a favourite recipe to share?

How to choose a new book or a new author

After reading a comment on facebook I was put into a thoughtful mood about how I (and maybe other people) choose a new author to read. I realise we are all different, so I’m really writing about me and what I find, I’d love you to comment if you agree or not though! I am happy to hear other ideas.

I don’t usually go for hyped books, big posters tend to make me shy away, grand advertising campaigns and movie tie ins usually (though not always) turn me off of a book. I don’t read any news papers so review pages there don’t even get a look in.

But I often buy books, I love to read real paper so while I do have a Kobo reader and have various reading apps on my iPad and Android devices, paper wins for me. I like to have signed books too – and you can’t sign a Kobo.

So with that in mind I prefer to browse a book store or a library than the digital world, and I often judge a book by its cover! I found the fabulous Elizabeth is Missing in just such a way, but the reason I was in the book shop at all was because a friend on twitter had suggested I read a specific book.

Finding books for me is based on a few things and while I love to browse a book shop I think I find more ideas via social media than anywhere else. I use Goodreads, a really useful site where people share their thoughts on books (although you do have to watch for spoilers – some people seem clueless in how to write a review without revealing vital plot points! I could write a whole other post on that subject I think) I also use Amazon reviews, where again spoilers can be an issue, coupled with people that use the review section to complain about their delivery driver.

The main issue with these sites is that while they do offer a few ideas they don’t really sell a book to you and so you just see book after book of the sort you already read. To find a really new book or author I prefer twitter. I love to find an author and follow them there, find insights into their daily life and the book writing process, to see a book gradually created and then finally the day of publication.

I will often buy books based on what can only be described as a ‘buy my book’ tweet. Not the awful automated Direct Messages that fakely welcome you for a follow and by the way BUY MY BOOK, but the more friendly and personal sort of tweet that says something like, “I’m so excited, I’m finally a published author I can’t wait for you to read ….” Or “If you like stories about ……. And …… then I think you’d love my book ….” Etc and of course the offer of free books or signed books is great too.

Because the thing about social media is that it’s …well, sociable. An author that chats to his or her fans and new followers alike can rapidly find a group of friendly people not only willing to read a new book, but to actively promote it on social media too, often for free. No one forces you to follow anyone on twitter so an author’s followers are people that are already keen, an almost captive market! And an author that can engage, be witty, be friendly, AND promote their book will have eager buyers and equally important will have people keen to retweet and share.

On twitter I follow several publishers and book sellers that offer regular competitions but also information on new authors. I use Facebook too, but am less active there as it seems more cluttered with games and adverts and weird videos.

So I think the way I really find new books is by suggestions and recommendations on social media (blog links to reviews are my favourite) and by authors who converse with their readers on social media, and by covers that grab my attention when I go down to the book shop to get the books that have been suggested!

Of course we all have favourite authors and buying their new book is a given, but how do you choose new books, new authors?

And authors, does it work? Do you find social media drives sales? Or is it just me?

Stuck for ideas on what to read next? My brother has just published a book...just saying

Written in the Stars by Ali Harris - Book Review

I had vowed to read more and tweet less this year, I'm not sure how that is going if I'm honest but I have managed a few books so far.

I started this one after a couple of reads that had left me rather tearful, they had both been about old age and life changes and sad dark pasts so it was with some excitement I started reading Written in the Stars by Ali Harris. It looked like just the thing, something light and fluffy, about young people, romance, futures.

As I like to do I immediately checked to see if Ali Harris was on twitter, I love the ability to see what your favourite authors are up to and to send them messages, getting a reply is just amazing. I am a self confessed 'author-groupie' so following authors on twitter is the best thing (after following bearded men...bearded authors.....mmmmmm ... sorry where were we..).

Right, yes, so I found that Ali did indeed have a twitter account and I told her I hoped her book would cheer me.

About to start Written in the Stars by @AliHarrisWriter I hope it's not a weepy book. I need some smiles
— Tattooed_Mummy (@tattooed_mummy) February 15, 2015

Well, the story is a 'sliding doors' style 'what if' sort of book and it started cheerily enough. Light and fluffy as I wanted but soon it became obvious that there was something darker in the history of the characters and the excellent writing began to tease and draw the reader (me) in.

 "as her wedding day approaches, her years of indecision are weighing heavily on her, and she can't help but wonder, 'What if, what if, what if….'
What if she hadn't upped sticks and moved to London? What if she hadn't grabbed the first job that came along and settled down with the first guy who showed an interest? But all of her questions are silenced when she slips while walking down the aisle and is knocked unconscious. In this split second her life splits into two: in one existence, Bea flees back down the aisle and out of the church. In the other she glides blissfully towards her intended."

The book initially spent a chapter on one side of the split life and one on the other, alternating so that each life mirrored the other, this made the story easy to follow but as the book continued the alternate chapter idea became less pronounced and sometimes 2 chapters followed one story. This initially threw me a bit but only because I'm a lazy reader, or maybe Ali hoped to trick us? Whichever it was I soon got back into the swing of things and found the story moving and gripping.

Is Bea's marriage happy? Is she happy single? Who can she live without and who can she love? Can her mum love her as she needs to be loved? and what of Bea's job, will she find the perfect job when single, or when married?

There were constant twists and turns as the two alternate 'what if' lives of our heroine gradually marched toward their inevitable conclusion.

It did make me cry. There were some deep and dark past memories for several key characters that were brought gasping to the surface. And the way that the characters could grasp the nettles of the past and move on to a new and calmer garden was beautiful. Friendship, love and family, as well as confidence, strength, growth and individuality seemed to be the themes of the book.

And my mixed water and plant metaphors in the paragraph above? Deliberate, water and gardening are big themes throughout the story.

I hope I've intrigued you without giving away any spoilers. A deceiving book, with more depth than its cover hints at. Well worth a read.

I am proud that my daughter can cook

I like cooking and I like baking. I don't tend to watch TV shows about it but I like to be in the kitchen and rustle up something tasty. I don't get all worried about expiry dates (see a post where I ranted about them here) and except for cakes, I am pretty relaxed about measurements and quantities. I'm the sort of cook that bungs things into a pan, slops in some water, uses measurements like 'a knob of butter' and 'some flour'.

I think I like that 'knob of butter' is so common in the uk it's on packets of things. It seems so official pic.twitter.com/pj7Kqomv8Q
— Tattooed_Mummy (@tattooed_mummy) March 22, 2015

I have been pleased to have DD help me cook since she was old enough to stand on a chair and see the counter top. It's great to start early, teach about hand washing, why we can't lick our fingers (!) while cooking and why we should tie our hair back when using the gas cooker. Knife safety, fire safety, all great learning topics while you bake too. We used to make cupcakes (buns?) together often when she was a toddler and we still make them now - she just does most of the work now that she is 15. (while I'm on clearing up duty) She has grown into someone that likes to cook too - and she is also a big fan of TV baking, somewhat in love with Mary Berry and inappropriately fond of Paul Hollywoods kneading technique!

She can cook pancakes using 'some flour, an egg or two and some milk and a splash of oil'.

Pancake making

She can poach an egg (almost as perfectly as I can), fry eggs, scramble them, make omelettes...lets just say she is good with eggs.

Fried Egg muffin

She can make pastry (much better than mine - she has cold hands) , cook pies, biscuits. She can make pasta bakes and whole meals from scratch. She knows how to mash potatoes and how to prepare vegetables.

Cake

Peach, parma ham, and mozzarella pizzas with rocket

And all this makes me proud, particularly when her friends come round and she cooks. I hear them saying to her that they are not allowed to cook or that they don't know how to. Dd has told me that several friends don't do any cooking at all at home - reminding me of my own friend who left school without the first clue how to cook - once ringing me to get advice on fish fingers and finally marrying a man who could cook, which was just as well!

Do your children cook? What age did you (or do you plan to) start cooking with your children?

Because you need to start them young, nothing nicer than finally realising you have a child that can cook you breakfast and bake you a birthday cake.

Here's some we made earlier (last weekend). Happy Easter!

Easter Biscuits

Easter cakes