What if you want to read e-Books but you don't want to be tied to Amazon.

Amazon Kindles let you read a variety of formats but most (especially any you buy from amazon) are protected from copying by digital rights management software (DRM). Now I understand the desire to stop people copying your hard work when you write a book, and selling it on, or even making copies for mates. BUT DRM means you can't even load the copy onto multiple devices that you own. And I've even heard of Amazon just no longer hosting a book you bought and own! So unless you downloaded it, it has just gone!

Kobo let you read even more formats. Though not Amazon because, as we said, it's DRM protected. So what to do.

You can use software to strip the DRM, then other software to convert the file to a nice one for Kobo (other e-readers are of course available but I have a Kobo so it's what I know) then use a USB cable to transfer the book file onto the Kobo.
Doing this enables you to read books bought via Kobo, Amazon books you previously purchased, and other books you find (legally) online, such as out of copyright books on the Gutenberg Project website (check it out all the classics are there for free).

How to download and convert Amazon ebooks.

I used DeDRM - www.dedrm.com

1. First you download the ebooks.Open your account and navigating to your digital content page (click account and lists, and choose Manage your contant and devices fromt he amazon home page).Select a book from the content list and click ' More actions, then select Download & transfer via USB '.

Then you need you Kindle serial number.Go to Manage Your Content and Device then select Device and check the kindle serial number.

Upload each book into DeDRM to strip the DRM protection.

2. To convert the now unprotected file use Calibre (apparently there is some way to do everything in Calibre but I didn't do that. You can use that method if you don't own an actual Kindle device. ) https://calibre-ebook.com/download

More info on all of this here https://www.cloudwards.net/remove-drm-from-kindle-books/

Download Calibre and convert the new unprotected AZW3 file to an epub or epub3 file and pop it onto the Kobo via USB. Sorted. There are lots of demos on site https://calibre-ebook.com/demo

 

 also check out Project Gutenberg for free ebooks

Wordy Wednesday - Palindrome by Rae Stoltenkamp

Today I begin with some exciting news. A new book from one of my previously interviewed authors is about to leap into life!

Very soon (maybe even as this blog post is published) you will be able to get your hands and eyes onto the new book by Rae Stoltenkamp 
The book is Palindrome and is a prequel to Six Dead Men.

In my last interview with Rae we chatted about her sci-fi series 'Rainbow Quest' and her favourite character in that world. But what of Detective Robert Deed and his story?

In Six Dead Men we met a detective among the stories and snapshots of the dead. Six lives extinguished in mysterious circumstances. In life they infected what they touched and in death they continued to wreak havoc. But even contemptible men deserve to have their deaths explained, and so in stepped Robert Deed.

We met Madie Bricot. Who just wanted to live the normal life of a twenty-six year old. The last thing she was expecting was to be the main suspect in Detective Inspector Robert Deed's investigation.
But Madie was about to learn some things about herself which terrified her into running. Meanwhile Detective Inspector Deed battles against his attraction for Madie...

In Palindrome we have travelled back into Robert Deed's past. Back to 1975. In Haddington, near Edinburgh, Robert Deed’s 13th birthday approaches. On the cusp of adulthood, this birthday brings more than a coming of age celebration for Robert. He’s about to see the glint of Death’s scythe in the corner of his eye, even touch the honed edge. Travelling the road towards his future, Robert must solve the murder of his first crush, battle his grief, and exonerate a dear friend. Is he willing and able? Can he truly trust in the so called inner wisdom of his instinct?

If you love a detective story, and love a detective with psychic powers, then grab a chair and a copy of Palindrome and settle in for a journey.

You can get copies of all of Rae's books over at Amazon, or check out her website.

Sign up to Rae's email news and get a free copy of Six Dead Men (no excuse not to read it now!)

You can even grab a free e-copy of Six Degrees 

In these Magic Realism vignettes several peripheral characters from Six Dead Men and its upcoming prequel, Palindrome, tell the reader what they think of the Deed family. Sometimes the Deeds get to say their piece too. There are also hints of things to come in Palindrome.

Follow Rae on Twitter too

Wordy Wednesday Reborn

I have let Wordy Wednesday slowly drift away. You'll have noticed a lack of bookish posts and this cannot be allowed to go on!

No the words must return.

You might recall that Wordy Wednesday started as a silly obverse to wordless Wednesday photos posted on many blogs each week.

For quite a while I interviewed authors such as Gregg Jenner, Joanne Harris, and Marion Grace Woolley and a few times I posted about book suggestions or my own reviews.

I have been using Goodreads to monitor my reading more and have been failing in the simple task of duplicating my reviews here - I really must try harder.

Luckily a few die hard bookish blog fans, and even a few authors (Thanks Edd) have nagged me enough that I shall plan at least one Wednesday of words a month, maybe more, from now on.

Today I shall fill you in on what I've been reading, and also what I've been listening to because words can come at you aurally as well as visually! Yes I've been using my Audible app lots of the drives to and from work, multitasking to get some extra books into my brain.

First I re listened to The Martian by Andy Weir, as it's one of my favourite audio books. Unabridged it's pretty long and the first time I listened I worried it would be bored by the amount of mathematical equations but amazingly it becomes gripping very quickly and the maths adds to the story and the tension rather than detract form  it. The narrator is also excellent, which really helps with audible books, I have had to return two books unread as the narrator was just awful.

I am also a fair way through Moby Dick, or The Whale, by Herman Melville, another book with a lot of factual asides and these do sometimes take you so far from the story you forget where you started, but there are some genuine laugh out loud parts, at least in the beginning, some homo-eroticism, and plenty of peril. I'm only 60% through the tale at the moment and Ahab remains relatively sane...but we all know where this is going...

If you fancy signing up for Audible - use my afilliate link and I get some pennies! Also you can get your first book free. After that it's £7.99 a month for a credit against any book, no contract, stop at any time, and they often have two for one deals.

Lastly I have started an actual paper book. The Three Body Problem by Liu Cixin, it's a science fiction story translated from the original Chinese, so far the history is being set for the reader and it's a dark time in the revolution. Our hero sees her father brutally killed and her mother driven insane, but where will this lead ....

Here's hoping I will be able to update you with more wordy news soon!

Comment below to let me know what you've been reading, or be my friend on GoodReads and stalk my book habits there.

Wordy Wednesday with a scary twist

Hello Wordy Wednesday lovers, I hope you didn't think I had abandoned you or that I no longer loved you as I haven't posted a bookish blog post for a while. It is laziness on my part and not a lack of love at all, and as it's Valentine's day, here is a book suggestion with all the twists and turns of a romantic affair. Yes love is a roller coaster and so is the theme of this Wednesday's read.

Due to be released March 1st, here is a sneak preview and delicious taster of a book you are sure to be tempted by.

Let me introduce you to C. L . Norton, self described grumpy author, writer of Season's End.

Today's author lives on the South Coast with 2 rescue kitties and a long suffering husband who tolerates her eccentricities in the hopes that one day he can retire on her writing income and game all day and night.

C.L is ratty, moody, hates mornings, but never sleeps past 5am. She lives mainly off of coffee, and tutors English for fun.

Her dream is to open an indie bookshop.

But what of this book?

Let's get down to the grilling, grab a chair, a biscuit and a cup of something hot and let us begin;
C. L. is your new book a thriller a mystery or a horror? 
I think labels are overrated, but I would say it is a horror in the Gothic tradition.

"Season's End is set in a typical seaside town where the tourists triple the population every summer. Only this year, there's something sinister going on. Ave is a teenager with a wealth of secrets, Scott is a 40-something with no responsibilities except his beloved funfair. Can they work together and defeat the power that comes with blood ties? With twists and turns, this incredible novel will leave you wanting more."

Can you judge a book by its cover? 
Covers are hugely important to readers, I have done research!  Apparently, faces are frowned upon.  .. my cover was created by KGHH Design which is part of Gore Publishing.

What does a writer eat for breakfast?
This morning I had Turkish Delight simply because I overslept and am barely awake.  Generally though, I eat coco pops or honey loops.

How many drafts did you write before this was ready for publication?
Loads!  I think that the final version was about draft ten or eleven.

Why should people read this book?
Because it is full of twists and turns. It's more than just a gore fest.  It has a heart to it too.  In fact, there is very little gore, as I mainly write more Gothic horror and so there are a fair amount of atmospheric moments.

What's the best roller coaster you've been on?
I took my nephew Craig to Thorpe Park when he was 14. I don't remember the name of the coaster, but I do remember going on it over and over again until Craig said he couldn't take it any more!  He went for a sit down and I went on it a few more times.

Are men or women characters easier for you to write? Do you have a preference?
I am happy writing characters of any gender whatsoever, however, my next book has a mainly female cast.

'Summer read' is a label bandied about a lot, what is your idea of a summer read?
A classic.  Something like Frankenstein or Jekyll and Hyde.

Season's End brings to mind the end of a summer season but is this book a good read at any particular time of year?
I think it would work pretty much all year round.  The book is set in the autumn/winter, but it would be a good choice for any season. Probably particularly suited to a miserable day, and we get lots of those throughout the year!

I love to read books set in locations I have visited. Do you only write about places you've been to? Or do you travel in your books?
I make places up.  There are a few true locations mentioned in the book, but the main of the action takes place in a completely made up seaside town.  I travel a lot, I appear at book signings throughout the UK, and so I am always picking out bits of places I go to that will come in handy for a new book.

In your opinion, is social media affecting our attention spans and is it spoiling our ability to read a whole book?
I don't think so.  I do think our schools are affecting our ability though.  I work with kids who don't read because they have outgrown the books in the school library, but they don't know where to go next, so they stop reading.  I have found that if you go to these young adults with a good book that is 'aimed at adult readers', their love of stories comes back.  We need to enhance school libraries with a range of books, including those aimed at adults.

Do you write on paper or a digital medium, I assume authors all use computers but is paper still a writers friend?
I am always being told about various packages that supposedly make writing easier, but I just stick with good old Word.  However, when the first draft is complete, I print it out and complete the developmental edit on paper.  I then type up the changes and do the same again.  I do recycle though!

What's the first thing you do with a new book (that you've written) when you receive your copy from the publisher?
I take a photo of it and stick it on instagram!  I then work out who I need to give copies to and send them out.

Well you will have to wait until March 1st to have a read but add it to your Goodreads To Be Read shelf and pop it on your wishlist at Amazon. I have a sneak preview digital copy on my kindle, just waiting for me to finish my current read (So many books, so little time)

Happy Valentine's day one and all and always give your love to a book.

Wordy Wednesday with Rae Stoltenkamp

Welcome once again to Wordy Wednesday. I'm happy to introduce you to Rae Stoltenkamp, a long time twitter friend and author of The Rainbow Quest Series. Set in a domed world of the future, featuring young adult protagonists battling against injustice and environmental abuses.

Book 1: WHERE RAINBOWS HIDE is an environmentally conscious SciFi adventure with a 19 year old heroine at the centre of the plot.

Book 2: WHEN RAINBOWS CRY is set some 30 years later and features a 14 year old heroine battling the stresses of teenhood along with her concerns for her failing world.

So let's get all comfortable and ask Rae some questions.

When and why did you start writing?
I started writing as a child around age 11/12 and was inspired by my maternal grandfather who wrote short stories for a South African newspaper. I however started with poetry - the typical teenage angsty stuff, before graduating on to short stories. Then I couldn't seem to stop and have been writing ever since.

What 3 things (not including paper, computer, pens) would you like to facilitate a good days writing?
I currently have everything I need to ensure I have a good day's writing. But if there was one thing which would probably improve my experience then it would be a back support chair from The Wave Seat Company. It's on my wish list.

Do you write to a schedule, eg every day or three times a week, set times, etc or do you write as and when the mood strikes?
I write 2 days a week as I have a teaching job at a local charity on the other 3 days. It means I have to get a lot in on those designated writing days so they're sacred to me.

Who is your favourite fictional character (that you've written) and why? (no spoilers please! though teasers are fine)
My absolute favourite character I've written is called Sprax. to know him is to love him. Here's an extract about him because it's easier to understand his nature through this and I've also attached a drawing of him my friend Sarah did for me. 

Sprax nudged his way from beneath the leather tooled cover till his head and shoulders were free.  He used the back of his hands to wipe the sleep from his eyes before adjusting the points of his ears.  Lanna should know better than to think she could keep him confined like that.  Huffing and puffing he pushed the rest of himself out, unfolding his spindly legs till they touched down on the surface of the desk.  Surveying the barely explored territory before him, he hunched down closer to the surface and sniffed at the honey aroma of the wood polish.  He stuck out his long tongue and tasted it. 

“Yeuch!  Nose lied.”  His face squidged up in disgust as his tree frog fingers tried to scrape the offending taste from his tongue.  Unhinging from his crouch he shrugged a purple toned shoulder and stepped forward to investigate.  His temple was jabbed by the edge of the hefty dictionary piled on top of art history texts. 

“Foolish Sprax - slowing down - rushing less - time is time is time.” 

His finger pads soothed the hurt as he side stepped jauntily and continued on his trail around the desk and its accoutrements till he reached the precipice.  All the while he talked in a steady babble of conversation to no-one but himself. 

And always, pulling at him, was The Essence of Faetaera.  But he ignored it, shrugged it off.  This was home now.  Because the Essence of Here was oh so fascinating.  And Lanna was here.

He's from a book called Sharp Dark Things I've been working on for a while now which I'm hoping to get back to next year once I've completed all my publishing commitments for this year.

Is writing your main source of income, I read lots of articles saying writers make no money, and my readers asked this question a lot! Can you survive on book writing alone? if not, what else do you do?
Sadly I can't survive on writing alone. I've only just started out in the self-publishing business. I'm learning the trade and sometimes it's pretty full on. To pay the bills I teach after school clubs for a creative writing company called Inkhead and also do private tutoring in the evenings on top of my 3 day stint at the charity.

What are your favourite biscuits?
Ginger butter biscuits from Lidl - there are chunks of ginger in the dough. So yummy with a cuppa.

Where do you do most of your writing?
My desk in the living room but a lot also goes on in my head when I'm shopping or driving the car. I usually make a note of ideas on my phone if this happens.

What book are you reading at the moment?
Am reading 3 books simultaneously: Jingo by Terry Pratchett, Hag-seed by Margaret Atwood & Blue Gold by David Barker.

Is truth really stranger than fiction?
In my personal experience it generally is. Most of my stories spring from experiences in life which I then simply translate into my writing.

If you could genetically cross an animal with a fruit or vegetable what would you choose and why? 
Can't think of a fruit/veg animal cross but would rather like a breed of pig which regularly sheds its skin and as it does this it automatically turns into crackling. I'd go for that. (I'll allow it - sounds tasty)

If reading and writing were banned on pain of death, what would you do instead?
If it doesn't exist already, set up an underground network to fight this dastardly evil, maintain a secret library and battle to the death to free humanity from this disastrous situation. (many other authors has said the same thing, I think it would be an interesting underground...)

If you could bring a dead person back from the dead for one day to have tea and a natter with them, who would you choose and why?
My mother - I miss her wisdom and spade is a spade attitude to life.

Thank you so much for sharing Rae, good luck with the new book (launch date - Dec 2nd 2017)

Follow Rae's blog here and check out her author page on Amazon here. Rae is on twitter and Facebook

You can even claim a FREE e-Book (Six Degrees) here.

This post is part of a blog tour, pop over and read more at Lisa M White's blog, Lindsay Bamfield's blog, and at Anna Caig's blog.

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott - Goodreads review

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Ok so, despite my snarky comments during the listen (I bought the audio book) I have given this book 4 stars.

Spoilers from here on

The reason I gave the book 4 stars is because the writing is charming (dear lord I have fallen into the March girls' way of speech!) The book itself is hideously moral in tone and terribly preachy at every turn, at one point Louise May Alcott actually suggests her reader may have fallen asleep during one of her little homilies, so even she is aware!

As an educational pamphlet for the young lady of the age I'm sure this book would have been wonderful. There are numerous top tips about gloves, ribbons, keeping skirts clean in the mud and bonnet adornment on the cheap.

The girls do however seem convinced that they are 'poor' which seems to translate as 'lower middle class with only one servant'. Poor Hannah, despite being a perfect dear with the children, seems to have no time to have a family of her own.

Beth's death scene, promised since about chapter 4 and yet not actually happening until near the end of the book, was a blessed relief for us all. Much was made of her saintliness and goodness, but as she barely rose from the sofa after chapter 5 I'm not sure what naughtiness anyone expected from her. I was absolutely thrilled when she finally popped off.

Amy remained my favourite daughter, Meg was far too smug, Jo tried far too hard to be 'boyish' and Beth was in bed.

The only highlight for me was when Prof. Bhaer proposed to Jo in a touching scene in the rain. Maybe I was swayed by an older bearded man proposing to an unconventional girl in odd circumstances (wink) who can say but I did feel a drop of moisture rise into my eyes. Sadly this was instantly dashed by him asking her to wait a year due to some obscure reason that made no sense at all.

The book ended on a delightful note with everyone either dead, married or otherwise happy. And Jo able to be both suddenly feminine but also able to indulge in her odd obsession with young boys.

The writing and language was lovely, the plot could have been fun but was spoiled by the obsession with gloves and morals.


View all my reviews

Random Acts of Unkindness - Goodreads review

Random Acts of Unkindness by Jacqueline Ward

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


There were things that annoyed me in this book. The repetition of the main character "what if it was your child" to everyone she meets who has a child...maybe that's realistic but as a reader it just feels lazy, yes we get it, your child missing is horrendous, we are reading all about it, we don't need a regular prod to imagine it's us. The bit about the shoulder blade (see previous update comment) grates a bit with me and there were some other bits too 'baby left on a doorstep' vs 'baby left in a phone box' which was it? Don't jump between the two phrases, it's a crime story, facts need to be precise. And the ending was annoying and inconclusive. Maybe because this is the first in a series but even within a series I like my books to be able to stand alone. The actual (enormous) crime did seem strangely ignored when it was finally discovered. Not much seemed to be made of police officers being murdered, or of the main crime scene when in reality surely newspapers would have been all over it and doing plenty of probing of their own regardless of the police.

That said, the story was interesting, very emotional at times (witness my red rimmed eyes and public crying face) The links to real missing child stories and the interweaving of the fictional parents was good. In general the writing was clear and pacey, if you like crime thrillers you'd enjoy this and I hope that as she writes more Jacqueline will get into her stride. I look forward to reading more about our flawed heroine and the team.



View all my reviews

Wordy Wednesday - what I've been reading

Hello lovely readers, Wordy Wednesday has become a little sporadic of late, more to do with me than the authors that agree to be interviewed. This week I thought I'd do a quick look at what I've been reading (and listening to via Audible) over the last few weeks.

As you'll know I finally gave up my twitter addiction, and am now just checking messages once a week on Friday. So I've had lots more time to read. Maybe now my 'TBR' pile will start to shrink rather than just constantly growing!

First on the list is a book I listened to on Audible. Not Alone was the story of aliens, discovery and whether we are alone in the universe...well that's what it appears to be at first glance. But many people who reviewed it were disappointed (I wasn't) to discover that in reality the book is about the media, both traditional and social, and how they can make or break stories, how that can create news both fake and real, how people's minds can be changed, how vulnerable we all are. Big on conspiracy and slower on plot it was a long but interesting book. And despite the somewhat tedious nature of much of the 'behind the scenes' news stuff, the story managed a plot twist or two as well. If you are a fan of aliens, fake news or conspiracy theory - it's the book for you.
 

“Britain’s recent political past meant that conservative leaders were chosen largely on their ability to sell unpopular policies to working people who wouldn’t benefit from them, so Godfrey was an even stronger debater than his predecessors and rivals.”
― Craig A. Falconer, Not Alone

I also read (in paperback) the really lovely The Night Rainbow. An impulse buy because I liked the look of the cover and there was a quote from Joanne Harris on it (and I love her writing).  And what a good judgement that was. Two young girls try to amuse themselves after a father's death, while the mother struggles with her new pregnancy and the grief of having lost her husband. Plot twists are plentiful and the prose is almost poetry in places. Gorgeously scented scenes of France, with over ripe tomatoes and dusty donkeys bring this story to life. Very sad in places with a lot of remembered loss, but ultimately uplifting. A lovely summer read (a bit late for that now!) or to warm your heart as you sit in the cold by the fire, remembering long ago holidays and tree climbing in the sun.

 “She turns her back to us, starting up the stairs slowly, her legs shaking with every step.
I think she forgot to put her skeleton in, says Margot.”
― Claire King, The Night Rainbow

I also listened to A Company of Liars on Audible. A motley band of people are thrown together by circumstance and travel towards the north of England to try and outrun the pestilence (the black death) that has recently arrived on our shores from Europe. As the story progresses we gradually learn more of each character's past, but all have secrets, all are liars in one way or another and slowly, one by one, they die. But it is not the plague they have to fear, it's something much closer. A book that starts simply enough as a medieval tale, slowly moves into myth and tales of omens and portents, soon the reader begins to have the same superstitious fears the travellers have, and maybe we are right to. A creepy tale with terrifying twist.

“Miracles are like murders. After the first one, each becomes easier than the last for, with each success, the miracle-worker's certainty in himself becomes stronger.”
― Karen Maitland, Company of Liars

Twists in the plot seem to be a theme with my recent reads and the last book is Random Acts of Unkindness. I'm 80% through this paperback and so can't yet be sure of a twist, but I'm enjoying the dark interweaving of two women's heartbreaking struggle with the loss of their teen sons. One story the journal of a dead woman, and one story the modern story of a a police detective, the two stories are beginning to merge in frightening ways. *Trigger warning for gore and bloodshed, and references to the Moors Murders.

"John's touching the white sheet. I can see the outline of a face, nose sticking out. Further down , shoulder blades before the sheet becomes thicker and turns into a thick shroud. I realise thatJohn is staring at me and I nod"         ----Jacqueline Ward, Random Acts of Unkindness

So there we are, my reading pile is getting more manageable. What have you been reading? If you've blogged about books don't forget to link up with Chantelle and her Read with Me Linky. It's a great place to meet new books! And of course, follow me on Goodreads.

*Links in this post may be affiliate links, find out more here.

Gross books for gross kids

OK the title to this post is a tad misleading. While the books may be gross I don't think kids are, but they do all seem to go through phases of being fascinated with things that, as adults, we have been conditioned to see as 'not nice' or 'not to be talked about' so it's a jolly good thing that some books are around that cover these subjects to help us squeamish adults cope with life, and kids.

I have just been rereading Snuff: (Discworld Novel 39) (Discworld Novels)by Sir Terry Pratchett and Vimes's son Sam is fascinated with poo and dirt throughout the book, which made me think about children's books that we had loved..

So here are my suggestions for 'gross books' based on books that DD had a smaller person, and that we both really enjoyed, because you know what? Poo IS funny!

Dr Dog - Babette Cole
A book about a family dog that happens to also be a Dr. He struggles with his family as they are rather silly and at times quite disgusting, sharing hairbrushes, scratching their bums and farting far too loudly. Along the way Dr Dog teaches small children some hygiene tips and gives us all a laugh, he also gets rather exhausted...poor Dr Dog

Drop Dead - Babette Cole
Another book by the same author looking at the stark fact that however exciting and wonderful (or not) our lives may be, we will all suffer the same fate in the end and just Drop Dead. Tackled with love and humour this is a funny book for small children. It only tackles death due to old age, and does have a weird reincarnation hint at the end, but is simple and funny. As always with Babette's books the artwork is lovely.

The story of the little mole who knew it was none of his business -
This was bought for DD when she was small and soon became a firm favourite at bedtime. A mole finds himself in the unfortunate position of being pooed upon. Having poor eyesight he is not sure of the culprit so he sets off to find out, and to exact his revenge. On the way he explores many types of poo. Poo lovers will enjoy this book, and will find it invaluable on trips to farms to help identify poop.

Here Comes the Poo Bus - Andy Stanton
A Bus is coming to take the insects to the seaside! The bus is made of poo so who could resist? A totally gross story in rhyme of a trip to the seaside, some laugh out loud moments, some truly horrible illustrations and a rather dark ending make this a hilarious read for all!

There are many other poop themed books for small children, but I cannot say I have read them all!
Books about Poop

But what about wee I hear you ask! I'm glad you raised that point!

Why not have a read of :

Father Christmas needs a wee -Nicholas Allan
In which Father Christmas tries to deliver presents before he goes to the loo. Any child who has hopped about declaring they don't need the loo yet will be able to appreciate Santa's predicament...will he be in time? Read this rhyming book out load for tense chuckles and to find out the answer! But don't laugh too hard!

I want my Potty! (Little Princess)  -
Any parent who has run through the house with a potty will  be cringing along with the story in this book. The Princess needs her potty, but where is it? and where is she? Who is in charge and can they get the potty to her before it's too late?

Mummy Laid and Egg - Babette Cole
And last but by no means least - my favourite book ever about sex. A manual for everyone, from 3 years and up. Take care with the ways 'mummies and daddies fit together' some of the ways are not for the faint hearted...or those with poor balance. The perfect book to teach children where babies come from.

Have I missed any books that you love that are slightly (or even very) gross? Do let me know in the comments.

Meanwhile I'm off to read my book (yes I really have a copy, and yes it is full of glossy photos of poo)

Post contains Amazon affiliate links - if you buy a book via these links I get a small percentage, and it costs you nothing.

Wordy Wednesday with Sarah E Smith

Welcome back to Wordy Wednesday. This week I would like you to meet Sarah Smith, author of several mystery books. I asked her to introduce herself, so grab a cup of tea and settle down for a chat.

Hello, my name is Sarah. I'm nearly 50 on the outside and almost 18 on the inside! I love rugby, Doctor Who, and history.
I've had four books published so far. Three time travel, mystery books for YA (16-90ish) The Secret of Aldwych Strand; and my first crime fiction book set at the turn of the 20th century – A Cowardice of Crows, which introduces Symington Earl Byrd, Gentleman. Playboy. Detective. My books are as historically accurate as I can make them; and - I hope – a little witty, mixing as they do first and third person perspective.

The Secret of Aldwych Strand revolves around Canvey teenagers Mark and Lucy who go to Southend Pier in the October half term of 2013; travel in time, and never come home. Well why would you when you are trying to stop someone destroying the whole of time itself?
In a Cowardice of Crows Symington, Earl Byrd is called in to investigate the murder of a woman who's pushed from a train. A murder that draws the Prince of Wales' best friend in to a world so seductive he is in danger of losing his soul.

Do you have another job or are you a full time author? If you do something else (international spy?) what is it and do you like it?
Oh, I only wish I was a spy, or anything that exciting! I'm not. I don't even write full time. Though I can dream. That's got to wait for retirement. Or a VERY large lottery win. No, I'm a teacher of hormones in an 11-19 school in North Essex. I'm not sure if I'd say I like it, but I've been doing it for 28 years, so I can't really dislike it that much, can I?

Why did you start writing?
Because I couldn't draw and had to be creative some how. But it wasn't serious. Not until I ended up as a history teacher doing a maternity cover as a Head of English in the school I'm currently at, and suddenly there were these voices in my head screaming to have their story told, so I decided I'd better do what they wanted.

Which 3 things are guaranteed to make you smile?
The Goon Show
A dog running in the great out doors (I totally misread this as 'a dog running into a door, and thought it funny if a little cruel!)
A student finally 'getting' something that they've really struggled to understand

Do you have any pets?
I wouldn't say I have pets, I'd say they have staff.(haha Princess Fizz, my border terrier feels the same about us!)
Until last year there were 6 cats: the infamous Rover Blofeld of Twitter, Agent Z(orro); Bomma and Alistair, the Bombays, Callie and CleoKatra; and of course there was Clwyed-dog Dog, a scatty Labrador. Clwyed and Rover went over the rainbow bridge last year, forcing Zorro to step up to the role of chief cat. I'd love to get another dog, one with an expressive face. But that's a decision for a few years down the line. Dogs shouldn't be rushed.
The bombays are so self centred that they hinder the writing process. They have no understanding of computers. Or keyboards. Or that the delete key is not for dancing on! Everything is fuss me fuss me now, with pedigree cats.
The girls ignore me. They exist to sleep in sun-puddles. No, it's Zorro -a white and black bruiser - who's the real critic. He's the cleverest cat I've ever been owned by. An engineer in previous life, he sits and watches you write. Then when you read it back, he listens. If it's good he walks off. If it's not good he shakes his head and stares. So you delete and start again.

Who is your favourite author? Do they influence your writing or are they a total break from the sort of thing you write?
As a child, I wouldn't say I had a favourite author. I devoured books like a true book vampire. But looking back - although I love Agatha Christie and Dorothy L Sayers, and Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett - my favourite writer has to be Terrance Dicks. I have so many of his Doctor Who novelisations on my shelf at Mum and Dad's that I would be a fool to argue otherwise. He has such an easy reading style and a way of writing. Whether you're in the mood to devour or dip in and out. His style fits all moments. I suppose as my first three books were scifi he has to have had some influence on me, hasn't he?

Which book(s) are you reading at the moment?
This is a bit of a cheat of an answer. I'm back teaching English – due to a couple of maternity covers – so I'm currently reading:
Much Ado About Nothing with my year 10s
The Woman in Black with Year 9
And Great Expectations with Year 8
And I've been reading a lot of history coursework, but I don't suppose this really counts does it?
I've also had to re-read Cowardice because we've just moved and my context notes are in a box somewhere in storage. Rooky error!

Where do you do most of your writing?
We've just been camping for the first half of this half term, so I've been writing outside the tent, or inside when it was raining. But if I'm honest, I do my best writing in hotel lounges! My favourite hotels for writing are the Haycock in Wansted, Cambs; the Travelodge in Bishops Stortford (our current home whilst the boat is being built) and The Walpole Bay Hotel in Margate. They're all used to me sitting with a laptop, drafting and cursing away. At the Walpole the staff know me so well that sometime after 2pm a bottle of chilled prosecco arrives! One day, I'm going to wear pink and change my name to Barbara Cartland.

Tell us about the character that you've written that you like the most - no spoilers!
Toughy! I enjoyed Valentin from the Aldwych Strand Trilogy, he was complex and mercurial and I was drawn to him. But whilst Symington CC, Sampson and CC are all great, there's something about the Pawnbroker from A Cowardice of Crows that captured my imagination the moment he appeared. Mordecai Gold is a very black and white individual. Very moral in an immoral kind of way. He's ruthless and at times very violent, but he inspires such loyalty from those who work for him that you just have to love him. Even if he is soulless.

What is your favourite biscuit?
Until I found out I was wheat intolerant, I would have said Nice biscuits. They were my Nana's favourite and our little secret. She would sneak them to me when Mum wasn't looking. Mum didn't hold with me eating biscuits. Something to do with not eating my dinner. Now any biscuit that I shouldn't eat, is my favourite!

In the film of your life who would play you? (why)
Alec Guinness. Or possibly David Tennant. Obviously in drag. Why? As anyone who knows me will tell you, I'm eccentric, so why go for an obvious casting?

If you could genetically cross an animal and a vegetable, what would you pick and why? I like the idea of a potato and a sloth...could you get a lazier creature? (my soul mate)
I quite like the idea of crossing a dragon with an aubergine. You'd end up with a dragon's head, tail and legs sandwiched between a smooth slightly bulbous purple body. He'd have to be careful where he breathed. Otherwise you'd have a bit of a crispy dragon! But it would be fun to watch him take off! A bit like a flying dachshund me thinks!

Find her here Sarah E Smith Author page

Here on her Blog

and of course on Twitter here

Big thanks to Sarah for answering my silly questions - now dear reader, do pop off and check out her books and say hello to her on Twitter.

Wordy Wednesday with Lucy Brazier

Welcome to Wordy Wednesday this week with Lucy Brazier author of the Portergirl Novels.

Welcome to the comfy interview chair Lucy, tell us a little about yourself.
I am in my mid 30s and live in Cambridge. Although I have enjoyed writing since I was small, I only really started to take it seriously when I was inspired to start a blog based on my bizarre experiences as the first female Deputy Head Porter at an eminent Cambridge College. The blog has now become a book series; PorterGirl - First Lady Of The Keys was released in 2016 and the follow up, The Vanishing Lord, was just published on 10th June 2017.

"Set in the fictional Old College, the PorterGirl series is described as 'Brit-Lit' and is in the style of classic British farce and has been compared to Evelyn Waugh and Terry Pratchett. There features some of the politest murders ever committed and a decent cup of tea is never far away. But it is the eclectic and eccentric characters that populate this unusual and hitherto little-known world of the academic elite that really bring the action to life."

 "Porters are not the carriers of bags, they are the keepers of keys!’ As one of the most ancient and esteemed establishments of the academic elite, Old College is in for something of a shock when it appoints its very first female Deputy Head Porter."

Why did you start writing?
It has never occurred to me not to write!

List 3 things that are guaranteed to make you smile.
Food
Music
Nudity (I like your thinking)

Who is your favourite author? Do they influence your writing or are they a total break from the sort of thing you write?
It's always a tricky question, this - but it has to be Oscar Wilde. I always knew I wanted to be a writer, but when I read Wilde I knew I wanted to be a great writer. There's no way I can compare myself to dear Oscar, but I would like to think that his effortless use of purple prose has influenced my own work.

Which book(s) are you reading at the moment?
None - I never read when I am writing.

Which three cities would you most like to visit and why?
Rome and Athens - because of my great love of the Classics - and Venice, because I fancy a go in a gondola. They look like flash punts.

Tell us about the character that you've written that you like the most - no spoilers!
My favourite character is The Dean of College. He is highly unpredictable and can do or say pretty much anything, so is enormous fun to write.

What is your favourite biscuit?
Got to be a chocolate digestive.

In the film of your life who would play you?
It would be Rik Mayall, if he wasn't a man and dead. He could capture my slightly unhinged nature quite perfectly.

Would you go to Mars if it was a one way ticket? If not - who would you send instead!?
I don't fancy Mars, it looks rather hot. I suppose I would send someone who likes a warm climate and has shares in a suncream company!

If you could genetically cross an animal and a vegetable, what would you pick and why? I like the idea of asparagus and a giraffe...tender neck
Maybe a lamb and a carrot - I could just chuck it straight in the slow cooker and have a top notch meal with minimum effort.

Grab a copy of Lucy's book at Amazon UK -  PorterGirl: First Lady Of The Keys  or Amazon US

Read her blog at  - www.portergirl.com

Follow Lucy on Twitter - @portergirl100

And 'like' her page on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/lucybrazierauthor/ 

Wordy Wednesday with Fleur Hitchcock

Welcome to Wordy Wednesday - today in the hot seat I would like to introduce Fleur Hitchcock, author of Murder in Midwinter, Bus Stop Baby, and many others. The books are aimed at the younger reader, but I confess the story synopses sound like I might enjoy them too.

So Fleur, tell us about yourself,
I’ve  worked as a shop assistant, a dinner lady, a gardener, and a curator. I have two almost grown up children and live in the West Country and wrangle all the strands of my life. Since 2011 I’ve written books of all sorts for children aged 7 +

My most recent book is Murder in Midwinter which was published in October 2016  It’s about a very average South London girl called Maya. She’s on a bus in London when she spots a man and a woman arguing on the street. The man seems to be holding a gun and Maya takes a photograph with her phone. But he sees her do it. Soon after there’s a murder, and kidnap, and for her safety, Maya is sent far away from home, to the snow covered mountains of Wales, she can’t get out, but can someone else get in?  It’s a page turner thriller for children aged 9+

Do you have another job or are you a full time author? 
I also garden. It’s hard on my back and knees which aren’t getting any younger, but brilliant for my head and also allows me to listen to the radio which is something I really miss about writing.  Some people can write to music, but I have to have a pretty quiet house to function.

Why did you start writing?
I really don’t know – and I actually don’t think I remember beginning to write. I’ve always done it. It’s just I didn’t call myself a writer until I went back and did an MA in my mid forties.

List 3 things that are guaranteed to make you smile.
My neighbour the vicar jumping into his wheelie bin to compress the rubbish (even reading that made me smile, well done!)
Bumble bees.
Finding a table seat on the train.

Do you have any pets? 
We have some decrepit goldfish, but used to have hens. I loved them dearly, but so did the foxes. We’ll have hens again one day. But for now we have to make do with visiting pets.  Every summer, Nom Nom the tortoise comes to stay while his owner goes on holiday. He’s almost our pet, and I miss him terribly when he goes.

Who is your favourite author? Do they influence your writing or are they a total break from the sort of thing you write?
My favourite author is Rose Tremain.  Everything she writes is different, so much so that I couldn’t spot a Rose Tremain book except by the quality of the writing and the humanity of the characters. She doesn’t have a distinctive style as such but her work is  always character led, something I aim towards, and I think RESTORATION is a perfect book. If you haven’t read it, you really should.

Which book(s) are you reading at the moment? 
I’m reading a proof copy of “The Cost of Living” by Rachel Ward. It won’t be published until later on this year, so I’m terribly excited to get an advanced look at it. It’s a brilliant piece of “Cosy” detective fiction that begins in a supermarket with characters called Ant and Bea.  I’m racing through it but I know I have tottering TBR pile cramming in behind.

Where do you do most of your writing?
On any available flat surface in our house. Sometimes that’s my knees. In theory I have a desk in the spare room but it’s so cluttered I often can’t work. Right now it’s piled high with my accounts that will probably stay there, almost finished, until 30th of January.

Tell us about the character that you've written that you like the most - no spoilers!
That’s like asking which of my children I love the most!  I shouldn’t possibly choose, but I’m very fond of Amy in Bus Stop Baby.  She’s 12 and she’s angry and she can’t really express it.  The world only just makes sense to her and she finds adolescence difficult. She wants everything to be simple and logical and it won’t behave that way. During the book, Amy gets herself into trouble with everyone she loves because she jumps to conclusions. I suspect I love her because she’s a bit like I was at that age.

What is your favourite biscuit?
Choco Leibniz – they dunk well, no palm oil and they’re delicious. Excellent choice!

In the film of your life who would play you?
Oh dear – I really don’t know – but I suppose a young me would be a young Diana Rigg – kind of out of control and a little larger than life. Prone to wearing rather tight fitting clothing and creeping around solving crimes. The now me might be the late great Patsy Byrne – she played Nursie in Blackadder. I think Nursie was wiser than she looked. (I adored Nursie)

If you could genetically cross an animal and a vegetable, what would you pick and why? I like the idea of a potato and a sloth...could you get a lazier creature? (my soul mate) 
A badger and a beetroot – just imagine all that purple seeping into the white. BEAUTIFUL!

You can follow Fleur on Twitter @fleurhitchcock
And check out her blog page at www.fleurhitchcock.com
And buy her books via Amazon

Wordy Wednesday with Jack Strange

Welcome to Wordy Wednesday - today featuring Jack Strange!

Jack Strange has had a very varied career. He’s worked in a morgue, dug holes for a living, shifted heavy things on and off trucks, sold advertising space, and was, for a while, a Lawyer. 
Jack has always read voraciously and has wanted to be a novelist since the age of ten. He wrote his first novel aged fourteen. Jack enjoys parties and keeps himself fit. He is married with two adult daughters.

And so as usual I sat Jack down with a (virtual) beverage of his choosing, and we talked...

Do you have another job or are you a full time author? If you do something else (international spy?) what is it and do you like it?
Regrettably, I have another job. Two other jobs, in fact, so I'm on my way to rivalling George Osborne - but I don't get paid nearly as much as him. I'm a lawyer and a handyman, as well as being a writer. It's an odd combination, I know, but hey - we writers are supposed to be different, aren't we?

Why did you start writing?
To change the world, earn fame and fortune, and finally retire to a desert island with a good bar and a rocking city close to my beach house.

List 3 things that are guaranteed to make you smile.
My bank balance (that's an ironic smile by the way);
Tory party promises (so is that);
and any episode of 'Fleabag' (Google it, if you haven't heard of it).

Do you have any pets? 
No, I used to have a cat called 'Udi' and when she died I couldn't cope with the emotional loss so I never got another pet. They definitely would hinder the writing process. Udi used to demand attention when I needed time to myself to study law; she'd do the same if she was around when I was trying to write.

Who is your favourite author? Do they influence your writing or are they a total break from the sort of thing you write?
That's such a tough question as I could name twenty or thirty or more favourite authors who all have an equal claim to my affections. If I had to narrow it down to one, it might be Russell H Greenan, largely for his novel 'It happened in Boston'. We have things in common - we're both lineal descendants of Edgar Allan Poe, and accordingly, cats feature in my writing and in his. His books are hard to categorise, and maybe mine are too - but we both sit comfortably in the horror genre. And we both like to use dark humour in our books. I wouldn't want to claim I've written anything as good as 'It Happened in Boston' - but there's still time!

Which book(s) are you reading at the moment?
'Junky' by William Burroughs and 'Salvage' by Duncan Ralston. The opening of Junky is textbook, in that it's the perfect opening to draw you into a story; and the author's use of detail is outstanding. Would-be writers could do a lot worse than to read this book and draw a few lessons from it.

Which three cities would you most like to visit and why?
(1) Timbuktu - it's always seemed to me to be exotic, mysterious and remote. Plus it has some amazing libraries. I like libraries.
(2) La Paz - it's the current highest capital city in the world, I believe. The views from my hotel room would be tremendous, and I'm sure I'd enjoy a rocking night life there. I have a feeling the drinks are cheap, too.
(3) Novosibirsk - the largest city in Siberia. I'd love to snuggle up in front of a warm fire in a Siberian bar, with a vodka in my hand and the winter winds raging outside.

Tell us about the character that you've written that you like the most - no spoilers!
Henderson the cat. It's not just me - everyone who's read my books says he's their favourite character.
Here's a link to a recent review of a book of mine - note the comment about Henderson. Many readers have said similar things.

What is your favourite biscuit? 
Jack Strange never eats biscuits. He wouldn't be able to rock the pullup bar if he did.

In the film of your life who would play you? 
The young me would be played by the young Jude law (if we could go back in time!) - because we both had charm, insouciance and good looks in abundance in our youth. The old me would be played by Vladimir Putin if he ever turned his hand to acting - for obvious reasons.

If you could genetically cross an animal and a vegetable, what would you pick and why? I like the idea of asparagus and a giraffe...tender neck
A tory politician with a...wait a minute...they're a cross of animal and vegetable already. Mainly vegetable.

Amazon links to Jack's books:
Celebrity Chef Zombie Apocalypse
Amazon USA
Amazon UK

Zomcats!
Amazon UK
Amazon USA

Confessions of an English Psychopath
Amazon UK
Amazon USA