Wordy Wednesday with Bill Kieffer

Today I'm pleased to introduce Bill, Writer of The Goat: Building the Perfect Victim from Red Ferret Press. Now Available via Amazon: Adult, Dark Urban Fantasy

From beginning to end. If you ever want a book to slap you in the face as hard as possible, this…this is for you. ~Thurston Howl, editor-in-chief of Thurston Howl Publications

Bill Kieffer was born in Jersey City, New Jersey, USA.  A brain injury at an early age left him with some mild issues and just enough aphasia to be amusing at parties. He tries to be very open about these. He doesn't drink, having the bare minimum of inhibitions to begin with. Bill is happily married. He is a member of the Furry Writers Guild and has recently published short stories in several Furry anthologies put out by Fur Planet. Past writing credits include comic books like "Billy Joe Van Helsing: Red Neck Vampire Hunter" and "Great Morons in History, the Dan Quayle Bio."

zombie brony bill
And so to the interview - grab a chair, get comfy...

When and why did you start writing? When I was very young, I had a speech defect and then a bit of brain damage that just made that worse. That caused a bit of anxiety that just snow balled everything. My family situation was sort of chaotic as I was growing up and the written word was something I could control. Almost always the only thing I really could control. Sometimes, I feel like not much has changed; but I am confident behind a keyboard, if no where else.

What 3 things would you like to facilitate a good days writing? Isolation, to a certain extent... Friends and family tend to make arbitrary decisions about how much time spent writing is appropriate. Tea or sparkling water. It used to be diet soda, but I began to buy into that "diet soda makes one fat" thing. As if sitting at a keyboard for hours at a time isn't the real problem. The Internet or an encyclopedia: I write a lot about animals in allegorical & fantasy terms. My readers are often furries with a lot of knowledge of zoology, so I best be correct (unless I need to be wrong on purpose). (wait is that 4 things? I'll allow it...)

Do you write to a schedule, or do you write as and when the mood strikes? I write mostly short stories, so there's almost always a submission deadline to goad me on. However, I'm in charge of the housework at home, so I try to limit myself to just an hour of tv a day and one chore (like laundry or changing the cat litter). It was a good plan until the current administration came along and every day is like a horror story in the press here in the USA.(we feel your pain here in the UK - our local version of the dollar store, Poundland, has Trump themed Halloween items...)

Who is 'your' favourite fictional character? The answer to this is almost always the main character in whatever the "Work In Progress" is that day. Brooklyn Blackie, however, is probably my most recent favourite. I've written a lot of backstory for him and he has a lot of the same baggage I do, so he's a bit of my Mary Sue. His command of language is so much greater than mine, however. I've never been able to learn another language and that eats at my soul. (Brooklyn Blackie is a bisexual private detective in a furry version of 1940s New York City and I love the sound of him!)

Is writing your main source of income, I read lots of articles saying writers make no money, and my readers asked this question a lot! Can you survive on book writing alone? if not, what else do you do? Oh, no, my niche is so small, I could never live on the income. I write to be heard. My ego wears spurs.(I love that!) Until very recently, I used to dispatch tradespeople for a facilities maintenance company with lots of clients. However, they relocated to the bread basket of America, Kansas. That's a... really long commute, so I chose to stay here on the East Coast.

What are your favourite biscuits (cookies)? Oh, my American tastes are going to show here. Nutter Butter cookies. (these sound amazing - I am determined to try some)

Where do you do most of your writing? I write in one of our guest rooms, the Mardi Gras room, because unlike most of the other rooms in the house, the three cats and the great dane are not allowed in here.

Where the writing happens...

What book are you reading at the moment? I just finished HOTBLOOD: A Centaur in the Old West by Toril Orlesky. I am in the middle of Transcendent from Lethe Press currently. It's been very thought provoking so far and it contains the story "Not Equally Yoked" by Alexis Hunter, which I thought was the best story I read in 2016.

Is truth really stranger than fiction? Truth doesn't obey the rules, so I find that very annoying. However, my fiction involves talking goats and sadistic mages, so I might not be the best person to ask.

If you could genetically cross and animal with a fruit or vegetable what would you choose and why? I'm currently keen on a cauliflower/caterpillar, a cauli-pillar, a bumpy white caterpillar affair that would be nice with cheese... Oh! My Vore readers will love this question, so let me put some thought into it. I think I would cross a cockroach with a watermelon seed, because, you know... when you see a roach, every one hopes for a split second that what they are really looking at is a misplaced watermelon seed. So, now, you can be right about that for a change. Plus, watermelon seeds are totally edible and can be dried and ground into flour. So, if we got them to breed like roaches, we'd be that much closer to ending world hunger. My Vore reader focus group reports that they'd like something that screams a little bit more than a roach might. But they are a fickle bunch. I once offered them a breed of goat that vomits up it's own curry sauce at the moment of slaughter, but they were no impressed.

If you could bring a dead person back from the dead for one day to have tea and a natter with them, who would you choose and why? Helen Thomas, a member of the White House Press Corps. Before her death in 2013, she was frequent guest on the Colbert Report (as well as appearances as herself in a handful of politically themed movies) and I'd love to talk to her about the current political situation here in the states.

Thank you Bill for your candid and fun replies, and for not shying away from the horror of the moment in real life as well as fiction!

You can find Bill all over the web

Blog: https://typinghorse.wordpress.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheGoatNovella Twitter: https://twitter.com/Greyflank Publisher: http://www.redferretpress.com/ Bookcrossing: http://www.bookcrossing.com/mybookshelf/Greyflank/ GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/14249456.Bill_Kieffer

and for no other reason than I can...here is a gratuitous photo of me and my favourite Furry, Cosmic Wuffy

deadpool meets a furry cosplayer at comiccon


Halloween Fun with the family

I have a love hate relationship with Halloween. I know a lot about the traditions and like reading about them. As a child I enjoyed the simple things, like apple bobbing and silly scare games at halloween parties. But the way it has become a huge deal (old traditions enlarged and migrated back to us from America I guess) especially with the pumpkin obsession (RIP my Instagram feed at this time of year - if you don't like pumpkins avoid Instagram) and the 'trick or treating' which, while cute with little kids, with teenagers is just scary, and not in a good way.

And then this year of course the world feels like more of a horrific place than in years gone by. Threats of nuclear war (common in my childhood but I had thought long gone), terrorist attacks, increased knife crime, all of these things make 'celebrating' horror feel just wrong.

Looking around the shops for halloween party and costume ideas I couldn't giggle at fake blood, artificial slashed throats, comedy knives, hachets, and even, in Poundland, Donald Trump costumes and themed decorations!

And so I decided to ask some friends what they did at halloween that could be enjoyed by all the family without the usual horror or the dreaded pumpkins!

and here are some of the ideas.

Becky, clearly my soulmate, just hides!
"I mainly hide! I don't mind the little ones coming to the door, but beyond 7 o'clock I won't answer and pretend we're not in. I hate the gangs of teenagers who don't even dress up. "
Lizzie, given up on the niceties on halloween, just gets drunk!
"Many years ago as a joke I back combed my hair put on a black sack and handed out rubber cables. As I've gotten older I've become much more aware of how embarrassing this is but it's become somewhat of a tradition. So I have to be very drunk every Halloween. It's something I hope my children will do for me once they're of age"
Laura focuses on doing some halloween crafts with her family, and while she does go trick or treating, only to houses she has previously checked with.
"Mine are just 3 and 5 so it's more Halloween related crafts, movies and snacks than anything. We do go trick or treating though as the kids love it, but only go to obviously door knocking friendly houses, friends and neighbours that we know won't mind. This year there's a local disco for little ones so we may do that instead"
Sarah celebrates her birthday with the family, with a meal out.
"We love Halloween in our house, it is also my birthday. We do costumes with a different theme every year and then do family photos and often go out for dinner dressed up."
Louise has a doorstep party! Which sounds really fun.
"I was never allowed to go trick or treating as a child as my parents hated the idea. Now I love Halloween but the idea of not trick or treating has stayed with me and so instead, we hang out with snacks, music and wine and have a 'doorstep party' with our friends & neighbours as they call in!"
Jada likes a halloween movie, but in costume!
"A Halloween night in, a “spooky” movie - age suitable of course, popcorn, a treat and we do sometimes have a Halloween buffet style tea - it’s easier than cooking as the door constantly knocks by trick or treaters. We also do dress up too so we’re not missing out on the costume side of things! "
Following Jada's lead I think that on the 31st I will be wearing my Deadpool morphsuit (just in case anyone calls) while watching a comedy halloween movie and munching on autumn snacks like apple cake and popcorn. Although we are squeezing in a halloween party on the 27th - a party at Fizz's dog groomers! So there will be some silliness and fancy dress and no doubt tricks and treats at Pooched Paws Halloween Party.
What will you be up to? And which (not too scary) halloween movies would you recommend?

For some safety tips pop over to Carolin's blog - and also think about using pumpkin lights instead of candles

Pup image copyright: adogslifephoto / 123RF Stock Photo


London Baby Show Ticket Giveaway

On October 20th Olympia will once again host the fun shopping event, The Baby Show. DD and I went in a previous year and despite neither of us having, or expecting a baby, we had a great day.

The Baby Show with MadeForMums takes place from Friday 20th to Sunday 22nd October, at Olympia, London, and it really is a fantastic shopping experience. You can find everything needed for bump, baby and parents - with amazing offers all in one place, for three days only!

The show is a great way to get hands on and try before buying. Brand and product experts are available to tell you everything you need to know, so it’s a great opportunity to compare products and find the right fit for you. Over 200 exhibitors will be showcasing their latest and best products with the likes of Mothercare, iCandy, Tommee Tippee, Peg Perego, VTech, Chicco, Stokke and Britax! There will also be independent brands that you won’t find on the high street. And once you’ve shopped until you’ve dropped, don’t worry about all the carrying as you can take advantage of the free Emma’s Diary Collect-By-Car service where you can drop off all your purchases and continue until you’ve got a carful.

As usual, this year there will be an amazing line up of speakers on The Baby Show Stage with MadeForMums including renowned experts from the world of birth, breastfeeding, sleep and nutrition!

It really is a must-attend show for mums and dads-to-be, parents, friends and family members.

I’ve team up with The Baby Show to give away a pair of tickets worth £20 each!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The Baby Show at Olympia, London is open from Friday 20th – Sunday 22nd October from 10am until 5.30pm each day. Standard on the door tickets are £20 and children under 14 go free! For more information please visit www.thebabyshow.co.uk.

Ticket Competition Terms & Conditions
No purchase necessary. Entrants must be aged 18 years or over. Competition is open to UK residents only. As the tickets are specific to time the winner must reply to accept the prize within 24 hours of the draw - 14th October - or another winner will be chosen.