Top 10 things women find attractive in men

1. Beards – woman love manly bearded men, so masculine, proper man of the wild, able to protect and support a family, all that displayed in a face. Lovely. Also added benefit of tickles.
2. Smooth shaven men – women love a man with a shaved, smooth face. Demonstrating a commitment to regular grooming, clean and smart. A man that can think and make decisions, while in touch with his emotions. Added benefits, no stubble rash when kissing.
3. Muscular men – a man that has power, rippling muscles beneath the skin, at ease with himself because he can feel his own strength. A man to hold you in manly arms…Added benefit of winning cuddly toys at the test your strength machines at the fair.
4. Thin men – ah the joy of the geek, he is pale and looks like maybe he doesn’t get out much but he has a glint in his eye, a bright intelligence, a quick wit, honed form years reading or studying, or just being alone thinking. Added benefit of being able to talk about things, may cry at sad films..actually lots of men do that – don’t say I told you
5. Chubby men – something to snuggle into. A warm and cuddly bulk of a man, someone not afraid to order a starter and a dessert so you can do the same! No one likes to feel bad about what they eat. Give this man some cake. Added benefit of cake.
6. Tall men – someone to make you feel all feminine and girly, a man to tower over you, to reach high shelves, to lift you onto his shoulders at festivals. A useful man, see him tall in a crowd, looking over the heads of everyone, reporting back to tell you what’s going on. Added benefit of saving on step ladders.
7. Short men – no one likes neck ache, how fine to have a man your own height, or maybe even slightly shorter, rock those heels and make him feel like a millionaire with a hot babe on his arm. Mother him, or pretend he’s an Italian gangster (unless he is an Italian gangster, then just revel in being his ‘moll’) Added benefit of eye contact and romantic gazes.
8. Hairy men – manly to a fault, gorilla like chest hair, prefect to snuzzle on a cold evening, or to run your fingers through on a sunny day at the beach. Added benefit of warmth.
9. Smooth bodied men – naturally smooth or shaven, showing off the shape on the body beneath, no hair to get stuck in your teeth. A nice smooth skin under a white shirt, perfect to tan or to keep pale. Added benefit of lickability.
10. Being a man – women that find men attractive often find men attractive, due to them being men. Sometimes you can’t say what it is that made you look twice, or made you realise he was the one, sometimes you can’t say if it was his eye colour, his funny taste in shirts or his loud laugh. Maybe it was the way he held a tea cup or the way he flexed a bicep. Sometimes a man is just attractive and women don’t know why.

I think by now you ‘ve got the point…men (and people in general) are all different and amazingly we all like different things too, one person loves a joker, always laughing, pulling pranks; another likes a serious type, someone to be thoughtful in difficult circumstances. Where one person loves a redhead, another prefers the distinguished look of grey hair.

Shush Mr Tumble, that's a whole other post!

When I see lists on the internet of ‘Top 10 things men hate in a woman’ or ‘Top 10 things men love in a woman’ (and I’ve seen a few lately, hence this post) I want to scream!! I have rarely seen a ‘What women love in a man’ type post or even a ‘What men find attractive in men’ post but I’m sure they are out there. I’m putting this post up to remind us all that different is good and with all the amazing people in the world I’m pretty sure that if you want to find one who is perfect for you, you will.

And yes this is horribly hetero centric, because I’m straight , but it applies to all people really, I’m fairly sure straight, gay, undecided, bi, whatever, people like all sorts of other people…go forth, be single, or find a friend (or friends) have fun. Be most excellent to each other.

Gender Marketing is Lazy Marketing

Marketing has got lazy.

And we are to blame.

You've probably heard of 'PinkStinks' who believe that girls can be more than sparkly princesses, and you probably agree with that. The odd idea that women can't be scientists, educators, brain surgeons, explorers, astronauts, firefighters etc etc is surely long gone. Except it seems in toyland, where even if you can be a scientist you can probably only be a pink one..who makes bath bombs, if you are a girl.
 
But I'm noticing that while stores are bowing to pressure in the toy department, elsewhere the sexism (is it really that? or just lazy lazy marketing?) continues in uncontrolled tidal waves of consumerism.

It's us. We are consumers and we are lazy. Buying for Uncle Frank? Look for the signs..

The greatest gift we give a marketing department is laziness. Look at 'men's' birthday cards, fishing, football, beer, car maintenance. Look at 'women's' birthday cards, cup cakes, shoes, bags, wine, kittens. And then on to the gifts; in my local garden centre yesterday I noticed that toys were all ungendered, but Men's Gifts had a proud sign, and consisted of bottled beers, coasters, chocolate in the shape of spanners, while Women's Gifts were soaps, candles and wine glasses. (for the record I'm a beer and toolkit kind of girl, while hubby likes posh scented soaps)

I bought some gifts and the gifts I bought were all from the same section, they were for some men and some women I know, and I'll let you know in a week or two if they liked them or if they noticed that the gifts had a gender.

Stop gendering products! We need to keep saying it long and loud, not just about toys, about everything! We are people and we like stuff, we are programmed to buy stuff and yes it seems that hormones mean some women buy more than some men, but not all, not all women shop, not all men fish. Can the shops be more inventive? Can we, the consumer force them to see that we can decide for ourselves? Do you decide for yourself? or do you assume Aunt Mabel likes soap and Uncle Frank likes a mini tool kit?

Does a tool kit become a 'woman's tool kit' if it is pink? Are paisley garden trowels for ladies only? Is Spitfire Beer a man only product?

I think the gendering of products, like the gendering of toys, needs the same question asked..."is this product controlled with the genitals?" and if the answer is no, well then it's for a man or a woman.

Marketing based on gender makes fools of us all. What can we do to turn the tide?

Stop being happy about being typecast.

Hey! Keep the noise down!

Everyday women exist with the background noise of sexist behaviour.

My husband mentioned that when he used Youtube to look at music videos (classic stuff, piano, clarinet, violin) all the comments on women musicians were in regard to their looks. Along the lines of “Nice legs” “I wouldn't mind being that cello!” “I wonder if she'd blow me as hard as that trumpet” and he was both shocked and amazed. Vowing that if ever he uploaded a video of DD playing her clarinet he'd disable comments!

I told him that I wasn't surprised at all. While,like most men, he is respectful of the way he treats women he is also blissfully unaware that there are many men that treat woman as just an object for lust and their own gratification.

A recent Twitter hashtag #followed showed that daily, women are subject to abuse and fear. Men are quick tell us to lighten up, and claim that women lech after men too and it's true of course, we do,we have 'diet coke man' etc etc but women do not broadcast their lust for men as a background noise, an 'acceptable' base level, when women 'lust' it's both unusual and usually unthreatening, basic nature means we react to situations differently.

 Last night I watched Watchmen, in one scene a man walks in on a woman undressing, she is instantly afraid (rightly it transpires), and he uses his dominance to ensure she remains afraid, uncomfortable, while if a woman walked in on a man undressing reactions are usually different – the man is STILL dominant, he may make risqué comments toward his body and what she might like... (in the diet coke ad the man regains the dominant position by flexing his pecs for example)

Of course we are animals, of course we have natural and entirely useful desires for sex, but we are (I'd like to hope) one step up from the chimps, despite sharing all that DNA. When we see and hear a politician spouting rubbish we may well have a strong desire to fling shit, but being human we resort to reasoned debate or legitimate protest (usually). And the same with desire. Most men will see a woman at some point in their lives and think “I could give that one” but (and this is the vital bit) they just think it. They do not shout it across the street, they do not follow the woman to her car, they do not touch her. They might, if they are single and clever, find a way to talk to her, to ask her out for a meal or a movie. And if she says 'no' in a polite way they will not yell “I bet you're a lezza anyway”, they will smile and say 'oh well,if you change your mind, here's my number' and then walk away. No one wants to stop flirting, fun and polite chat, heaven forbid we put an end to compliments, woman just want some basic respect. There is, I hope you'll agree, a huge difference between “you look gorgeous in that dress” to a woman you know well and “nice tits love” to a woman you have never met.

A furore erupted online this week when someone noticed a T shirt being sold by a company via Amazon, with the 'witty' logo “Keep Calm and Rape On” and another saying “Keep Calm and Hit Her” the thing is these are not surprising, but they are a reflection on society and the way some men seem to think that sexism and violence against women is just 'banter'. It is not banter. It is a refection on your behaviour. You are not an animal, we (all of us) can control our actions if not our thoughts and desires.

Women are given strategy to 'avoid rape' for example, when we shouldn't have to, men are not wild beasts to be avoided like tigers in a jungle. Men are human beings, and most men will not rape anyone ever, those that claim 'accidental rape' (!) are the ones that need teaching, not women. If a man finds a drunk woman he needs to be taught to help her home safely WITHOUT RAPING her. I fear I stray from my initial topic, but it just runs on and on, from a jokey comment aimed at me at work last week “I didn't recognise you with your clothes on” (would he say that to a male colleague?) to a twitter mate that was sent a message on a dating website “do you suck testicles?” , to being blamed for men's behaviour based on what we wear. Women live in a world where the background noise is sexist.

Image Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos

So men, how about trying to keep the noise down, just a bit.

Ranting about sex and children

This morning a news story made me have a quick twitter rant. (just look at the poster ad!)

The rant was only a few tweets long. 

Rant mode engaged 

Free contraception for 13 year old girls to prevent teen pregnancy! Really? Not free condoms? Not any sort if support? 

Because of course, GIRLS getting pregnant is obviously GIRLS fault. No boys involved. No young men. And if 13 year olds don't get pregnant.. 

We can then ignore the fact that children are having sex. Having sex might be fun, but it's not a game. Pregnancy is not the only risk 

But hey, we can vaccinate GIRLS against hpv, we can give GIRLS drugs so they don't get pregnant...GIRLS are not sex toys 

 End rant (thanks radio 4) 

And then the more I read in replies and saw on twitter the more rage I felt. And while 140 characters is too short to express my rage I think maybe an unlimited blog is too many. I will waffle and go off the point (see I’m doing it already) So I shall attempt to briefly explain my concerns. 

I am not anti contraception for people that are going to have sex and don’t want to get pregnant. 

I am keen that children are allowed to be children and that they are not growing up to see sex as something that is ‘normal’ to do at an age that is illegal and physically (in many cases) dangerous. 

I do not want to see young girls controlled by boys who use sex as a way of dominating while declaring ‘love’.

I want all children, young adults and adults to have access to safe and reliable contraception and sexual health advice and treatment. 

I want the world at large to stop implying that ‘getting pregnant’ is the ‘teen mum’s’ fault. That girls are the only ones that need ‘watching’ and ‘controlling’. 

I want young women and young female children made aware that hormonal contraception carries a risk and won’t protect against many of the other dangers of sex. 

I want children to learn that sex is ace, but that it is a responsibility as well as fun and that waiting for the right person (or people) is not silly – it’s nice. 

I want young women and men to know that penetration is not all it’s about. And that sex and love are not the same thing. 

I want roses round the door and blue birds to sing when you meet ‘the one’ and I’d like hearts to appear in your eyes when you are looking at the one you love. 

That’s not too much to ask surely? 

Uncomfortable Talks with Kids

you know, the sex talk, the........., well basically just the sex talk!!

my 9 year old knows most of what there is to know to be fair, she had the book by Babette Cole bought for her (by me) when she was about 3 - seemed easier to treat the whole thing like it was just ordinary and normal from the start and that has worked well. She is calm and easy to talk to about sex. When she was about 7 we had the 'what does Gay mean?" conversation, all straightforward, because, let's face it, it is pretty straight forward and easy to get! (it's when a lady loves another lady, or a man loves another man just like your mummy and daddy love each other)

* off the point but she got the giggles in class after asking her teacher what it meant, and the teacher said "it's when two men of the same sex love each other" (think about it)

anyway back to the talk, so a few mornings ago she asked "can a man have a baby? because I saw one on YouTube, and on the news" so of course YES was the answer - "but how"

"well in this man's case he was born with a lady's body, he felt sad in the body he was in, he felt like a man but looked like a lady, imagine if you woke up one day and were a little boy not a little girl, wouldn't you feel odd?"

she was thinking and nodding

"so he was lucky, the Drs could give him medicine and do some surgery to make his body match what he felt he should be - but they left some bits so he could have a baby, some lady bits"

her face now a picture...."they made a WINKY?" me"yes they can do that"

"Oh OK"

end of discussion.

she's the best.

Oh and we know a few men that like to dress as ladies, either all the time, or sometimes, she thinks it's funny, but then she thinks it's funny I have boobies so go figure ;-)