Smooshed Creme Egg Bakes - Neither big nor clever

*trigger warning for huge amounts of creme egg cake recipes

On social media and in the world of blogging it seems you cannot blink this Easter without another picture of a cake covered in broken Cadbury Creme Eggs.

For anyone visiting from Uranus, a creme egg is a chocolate and fondant confection of teeth rotting sweetness. The centre wittily resembles that of a real egg.

In my youth I too liked a creme egg at Easter, and like many before and since, I poked my tongue into the moist middle with delight. But as I've grown up my sweet tooth has diminished and the diabetic inducing sweet no longer appeals. That would be fine, and I could ignore them and get on with my life that except that the world has gone berserk adding the eggs to anything and everything claiming that it makes something tastier and more Easter themed. I blame Pinterest.

Well, adding creme eggs doesn't improve things. It just adds extra sugar, and the horrible look of a house attacked by angry trick or treaters (ooh idea for Halloween cakes - no! stop, enough). A smashed creme egg looks like a smashed egg, that is not attractive. They taste only of sugar and American disappointment.

And if you don't believe how prevalent this horror is just look at a few of these examples! We have chocolate brownies and they are delicious, they do not need the addition of gloop, but despite that a recipe exists with just that.

Brownies made by The Minis and Me

And as for a creme egg 'blondie'...well, I really have no words, a blondie is something I already view with some suspicion, to add a creme egg into this dubious American mess can only end badly.

Blondies via MamaMummyMum

Cakes, whole cakes, already a treat, chocolate flavoured and covered in icing (frosting) I'm fairly sure crushed  creme eggs all over the top are an unneeded gilding of the cocoa lily!

Cake from Chilling with Lucas

Cheesecake, cheesecake!, is there no end to the abomination that is the creme egg takeover! A cheese cake needs no extra, it is cheese, soft and delicious, maybe with a tart fruit addition, but a smooshed creme egg? No no no. Just no.

Cheesecake from MotherGeek

And breakfast, the first meal of the day, where we need some protein and goodness, do we need creme eggs? No we do not, and yet it seems there are those among us that think a creme egg will improve a croissant. A croissant! That sophisticated and chic French pastry of delicate buttery loveliness, just no.

Croissant from Californian Mum in London

And last and most unnecessary of all, the Scotch Egg Brownie. I'm not sure I can fully express my horror and disgust, to hide the runny candy egg within and innocent brownie casing, to trap the unwary nibbler with a horrific gooey mine...

Scotch Egg Brownies form Nobody Said it Was Easy

I am ashamed of you all - I am especially ashamed of those blog readers that are, even now, writing down some of those recipes for later. You are sick! Sick I say! (or you will be later) Stick to proper recipes using chocolate mini eggs like normal people.

Recipes for Easter like mini white chocolate nests,  or regular chocolate nests, or even chocolate mini egg fudge, these are for normal, good and proper people.

Chocolate nests from The Messy Blog

Thank you to all the bloggers who agreed to be featured in this round up of loathing and disgust. All photos used with permission from the original posts.

Come and chat over on Twitter or my Facebook page I'd love to hear from you

I am proud that my daughter can cook

I like cooking and I like baking. I don't tend to watch TV shows about it but I like to be in the kitchen and rustle up something tasty. I don't get all worried about expiry dates (see a post where I ranted about them here) and except for cakes, I am pretty relaxed about measurements and quantities. I'm the sort of cook that bungs things into a pan, slops in some water, uses measurements like 'a knob of butter' and 'some flour'.

I think I like that 'knob of butter' is so common in the uk it's on packets of things. It seems so official pic.twitter.com/pj7Kqomv8Q
— Tattooed_Mummy (@tattooed_mummy) March 22, 2015

I have been pleased to have DD help me cook since she was old enough to stand on a chair and see the counter top. It's great to start early, teach about hand washing, why we can't lick our fingers (!) while cooking and why we should tie our hair back when using the gas cooker. Knife safety, fire safety, all great learning topics while you bake too. We used to make cupcakes (buns?) together often when she was a toddler and we still make them now - she just does most of the work now that she is 15. (while I'm on clearing up duty) She has grown into someone that likes to cook too - and she is also a big fan of TV baking, somewhat in love with Mary Berry and inappropriately fond of Paul Hollywoods kneading technique!

She can cook pancakes using 'some flour, an egg or two and some milk and a splash of oil'.

Pancake making

She can poach an egg (almost as perfectly as I can), fry eggs, scramble them, make omelettes...lets just say she is good with eggs.

Fried Egg muffin

She can make pastry (much better than mine - she has cold hands) , cook pies, biscuits. She can make pasta bakes and whole meals from scratch. She knows how to mash potatoes and how to prepare vegetables.

Cake

Peach, parma ham, and mozzarella pizzas with rocket

And all this makes me proud, particularly when her friends come round and she cooks. I hear them saying to her that they are not allowed to cook or that they don't know how to. Dd has told me that several friends don't do any cooking at all at home - reminding me of my own friend who left school without the first clue how to cook - once ringing me to get advice on fish fingers and finally marrying a man who could cook, which was just as well!

Do your children cook? What age did you (or do you plan to) start cooking with your children?

Because you need to start them young, nothing nicer than finally realising you have a child that can cook you breakfast and bake you a birthday cake.

Here's some we made earlier (last weekend). Happy Easter!

Easter Biscuits

Easter cakes

Cookies

Bloggers seem to talk about cookies a lot and yet on Blogger I have no real control over the cookies that Blogger collects. (I do have control of the hobnobs though, do have one, would you like tea?) With this in mind I was pleased to read This Blog and see their summary

 
and also the frankly brilliant info graphic. Shared here with permission.

Found: a fab recipe for no spread cookies

Amongst all the laughter at terrible recipes that can be found on line (see this post) , I stumbled across a rather fabulous recipe for sugar cookies at bakeat350.co.uk I was after a "no spread" cookie recipe as often when I try to make cookies (UK translation - biscuits) they lose their shapes and spread all over the place!

DD and I tried this recipe this afternoon, we divided the mixture and made some plain and some with chocolate chips, some plain chocolate and some colour chocolate beans! W experimented with thickness of the cookies too, making some thinner and crispy and some fatter and softer. Both types were nice!

DD was keen to try the new cookie cutter that Father Christmas had given her and the cookies turned out really well! It's a recipe I will be printing out and sticking in my recipe book.

Nice Apron there DD

Some plain

some choc chip

some coloured chocolate beans!

UK Recipe Translation
375g unbleached, plain flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
200g sugar
225g butter, cold & cut into chunks
1 egg
Optional
3/4 tsp pure vanilla extract
1/2 tsp pure almond extract

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 180c, gas mark 4

Mix the flour and baking powder. Cream the sugar and butter. Add the egg and vanilla and almond extracts (if required) mix. Gradually add the flour mixture and beat until combined.

The dough is crumbly, knead it together with your hands until it's in one lump for rolling.

Roll on a floured surface to about 1/4" to 3/8" thick, and use you cutters to cut it into shapes, knead left over bits back into a ball and re-roll until it's all used up, places the biscuit shapes on baking trays (use parchment to prevent sticking) and bake for 10-12 minutes. Let sit a few minutes on the sheet, then transfer to a cooling rack. Decorate as required.