In which our hero rants (again) this time about about song lyrics...

I don't know about you but for a me a song is more about the lyrics than the tune. I'd say 70% lyrics to 30% music maybe. The lyrics need not be cheerful, or even 'nice' but I like them to make sense and be reasonable. I love the song by Eminem about a horrible subject, a song of domestic abuse of both parties caught in a hideous cycle of harm, of a man lying to himself, knowing he can't stop and woman caught up with confusion as to what is pain and what is love, the subject is horrible but the lyrics and the entire song are beautiful, so tragic. My favourite song of all time is 'If you go away' and I prefer the Marc Almond version, I love the song of loss and of love, a song that realises that sometimes people leave and if they do then you will be sad....

But a song of late, that is getting right up my nose, is the current UK number 1 (good grief!) by Bruno Mars. He just doesn't get it does he? He sounds like a stalker in this song! he sounds like a freak, a weirdo a truly scary person to know, and I don't care how catchy the tune is, the lyrics frankly scare me! Let's analyse them a bit.

Easy come, easy go
That's just how you live, oh > OK her choice I guess, a fairly laid back young lady.
Take, take, take it all,
But you never give
Should of known you was trouble from the first kiss, > OK so you knew she wasn't for you from the 1st but you gave it a bash anyway
Why were they open?
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked,> well you can ask to be loved but you know you can't force someone to love you, she obviously thought you were fun and that was all.
Cause what you don't understand is > and here we get weird
I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) >ignoring your blatant use of 'ya' when you mean 'you' (I'd dump you for that alone) you sound a tad odd, where would you see us, and in what situation that you'd need to catch a grenade? are you taking me to Afghanistan?
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) > self harming is not big or clever, what is the point of this weird offer?
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah) > inconvenience hundreds of commuters for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) . except take 'I don't want to go out with you any more' as a clear indication of my feelings it seems
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain, . that you are creating! no one else, just you you idiot!
Take a bullet straight through my brain, > in the light of what recently happened in the US this is just crass and bad taste
Yes, I would die for ya baby; > by this part of the song I'm actually wishing you would, maybe it would shut you up!
But you won't do the same > no because she's got some sense! She doesn't want to go out with you - move on!

No, no, no, no
Black, black, black and blue beat me till I'm numb > don't tempt me
Tell the devil I said “hey” when you get back to where you're from
Mad woman, bad woman,
That's just what you are, yeah,
You’ll smile in my face then rip the brakes out my car . give her some credit she is trying to rid herself of this obsessive stalker..
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash

(chorus - I won't make you suffer it again)

If my body was on fire, ooh
You’ d watch me burn down in flames > while dancing and singing and rejoicing that she no longer needs the restraining order
You said you loved me you're a liar . no she just realised what a freak you actually were
Cause you never, ever, ever did baby...
(whining til fade)

why we blog

Once upon a time blogging was a simple thing. Blogs were like online diaries, notes to self, there wasn't much call for fancy fonts, little use for photos and design choice was limited to black on white or white on blue. Blogs have evolved, they flash, dance and even sing on occasion, but do they say any more? do you still blog for the same reasons that you started blogging? What is your blog *for*? Why do you blog? i think i still blog mainly for me, but i'm aware that 'you' are out there too, maybe even reading.

Ranty Ranty Rant (in which our hero rants)

So NetMums has annoyed me. An article in the news says that they did a survey and mothers admitted to ‘lying’ about how much quality time they spend with their kids, what they cook and feed their children and how much TV they allow kids to watch. Etc etc

The reason for this lying is apparently to keep up with other parents, and the moral is that we can all relax as everyone is lying.

This makes me angry on 2 counts. Number 1 is pretty obvious to anyone that knows me and it’s because I don’t lie, and neither does my hubby, I include him because he’s the stay at home parent in our house, he’s the one that cooks DDs meals from scratch (I recently taught him Bolognese sauce! LOL) and he’s the one that sits with DD to do homework, the one that helps, encourages and listens while she practices her clarinet. I’m the one that drives her to horse riding, bakes muffins with her, takes her to her music lessons ( and yes, I admit it – we have middle class pursuits and you know what? I don’t care!) which leads me on to the second reason it annoys me. (to be fair, it annoys NetMums too and it’s part of what the are saying but not all, because they are happy to assume everyone lies, which as I’ve pointed out, they don’t!)

I’m annoyed because of the reason parents supposedly feel compelled to lie. Once again it’s to feel good about themselves. Parents that lie are lying because they see their parenting as substandard, and they lie to sound closer to the ideal parent. Well here is a newsflash

THERE IS NO PERFECT PARENT

Really, we are all learning and all our kids are different , we, and they, are all individuals. Maybe your kid watches TV from when they get in until bedtime every day, maybe you are a vegetarian and they only eat organic, maybe you breastfed for 6 years or you formula fed from birth, maybe you work and your kid goes to breakfast club, maybe your 11yo has a TV in the bedroom or you have no TV in the house. IT DOESN’T MATTER!! We all love our kids, we all do the best we can for them and for us. As Janet street Porter said today on Radio 4 “There is your way and there is the wrong way” there is always someone ready to bash your choices, always a ‘study’ somewhere to show you are ‘parenting wrongly’ so get a grip, DON’T LIE be proud that you are a parent, a parent who may struggle, may yell, may use the TV as a babysitter so you can get time for a shower, a parent that may (shock) allow a toddler to share your bed because it means you all get to sleep. Whatever you do, if it works for you and your child be proud of it! Stop lying! 

Admit you are awesome. You are mainly awesome because you read to the end of this ranty piece of crap. Now like my Facebook page and you will explode with awesomeness

What is a birth plan and do you need one?

When you are pregnant you may find people suggest you write a ‘birth plan’. This will list all your wants, your desires and plans for your perfect birth. It may list ‘no drugs’ or ‘water birth’, it may specify ‘husband to be present through out’ or ‘don’t let my mother in!’. Your wishes and desires from the extremely medical ‘I do not with for an epidural’ or ‘I do not want an episiotomy’ to the weird and wonderful ‘I would prefer only blue towels if my baby is a boy’, will be written out and probably discussed with your midwife or healthcare provider. Your midwife will probably have input and suggestions too, mine pointed out things I’d added that were irrelevant as they were not done in the UK any way (I grabbed a birth plan template online and as we know, the ‘net is American!) and then finally the master plan is complete. You can rest easy knowing all is prepared…..

I was lucky, I followed my birth plan, nothing went wrong, nothing deviated from my plan, hubby was pleased as he found that when he was asked (as I was, but I was shouting just get the f*cking baby out!) whether a student could come and witness the birth of our daughter, he could confidently say ‘No, we did specify no students on the birth plan’ he was happy with what I wanted as was able to act on my behalf when all I could do was grunt or swear. ( I had a water birth if you are interested, with a tens machine to start with, before the water! And then gas and air as my only pain relief! Go me!! Haha)

But not all women are so lucky, maybe you asked for a ‘natural birth’ but when the pain kicked in you knew you wanted an epidural, maybe you’d longed for a vaginal birth in a dimly lit room to music, but ended up with a caesarean in a brightly lit theatre (operating theatre obviously – unless you’re a real show off) well don’t despair…

I like to compare the birth plan to a journey plan. If you take a trip you check the map, you look at the best routes, if the journey is long you may plan stops at service stations, or decide to take your own sandwiches. You may write down the major road and towns you will pass through, and then you set off! But oh no! traffic is terrible, you need to divert as the motorway is blocked! The dog weed on the sandwiches so you need an unscheduled stop at a Burger King, and then you realise you pass near a lovely castle and make a detour to see it. At the end of the journey you arrive.

The birth plan and the journey plan are the same, they are a plan, not a blueprint, a plan, a hope for what you would like to happen, it maybe the journey (or the birth ) is different to the plan, maybe worse due to long delays or better due to the detour to look at a view but the end of the journey is reached and you have a baby…..(did I get muddled some where there?)

Don’t feel bad that the M4 was closed at junction 12, or that the birthing pool was in use by another mum, it just happens, plans change. The important thing is you planned and then you got where you needed to go, by the most appropriate method available.

Did you have a birth plan? Did you stick to it? Would you have one again? (I know I would)

NHS Choices have a Birthplan template - Click here to see it, and answer the questions. It creates a printable form. It's long, but there are lots of things to consider!

Maternity network have a nice natural birthplan here.

Camping in the Spring or Summer

We had a chat on twitter (which rapidly got out of control as these things do!) about a few of us getting together for a camping trip. Maybe in the spring or the summer holidays for a weekend or even longer. As my daughter is at school it needs to be holiday time. I suggested The Camping and Caravanning Club site at Norman's Bay, Pevensey and this idea met with approval from the people I hoped it would. While the idea of a 'twentup' took off across twitter I held firm to my ideals of a few of us having a wee get together with kids, beer and wine, and maybe a sausage or two.

If you need more info contact me via my contact page. (Contactify Link here)  Would be nice to actually make this happen.

And if you can't come to this event but see folk near you on the '#twentup' tag - let them know you are keen and organise more camping trips, you can't have too many tenting trips!

 

National Camping & Caravanning Week (#NCCW)

May 30 to June 5 this year The Big Pitch!!

Meet up at Norman's Bay - anytime during this Big Pitch Week!!

In which our hero just rambles a bit

last time I blogged it was about secret Santa. we had ours. I didn't get a gift. yeah yeah i know maybe I was just 'too naughty' so Santa left me giftless, but in reality how hard is it? you opt in, you have 4 weeks warning to get the gift, there is a box to put it in. I'm not bitter and twisted* (*I am bitter and twisted) but it's mean. I was not the only person to miss out on a gift there were three of us. So out of approximately 20 people that played 3 people just couldn't be bothered. I wondered if when I returned after the new year the missing gifts would secretly arrive, but no. so there we go. Note to anyone organising a Secret Santa, either take a note of who each person has got to buy for so you can name and shame and maybe brand them or tar and feather them if they fail in their mission, or buy a few extra gifts for any 'no shows'.

I've been tweeting lots as usual and lately a few topics have surfaced. It seems lots of people are happy that Zane Lowe has taken over the Radio 1 Breakfast show but i find him way too over enthusiastic and energetic for the morning slot! playing new music is also fine, but 7am is not the time for big clubbing tunes in my opinion, and yes I am old (thanks to my follower on twitter for pointing that out!) but i like the right show at the right time and breakfast is a time to groan and grumble, to moan and mumble, to make crap jokes and play a few tunes (not too many) so I am longing for Monday and the return of Chris Moyles, my favourite Radio 1 DJ.

The last couple of days on twitter seem to have been all about some odd person enthusing over women that are the size of prepubescent girls, telling all women they are too fat and that anorexia is fun and the way to go for all 'females' (nice he doesn't even state our species he rates us so far below him) Luckily reading through all his tweets it seems he is a bit of a sociopath and has delusions of grandeur so i guess the men in white coats will be along to take him away soon, we can only hope. In the meantime, lest you worried, I'm a (UK) size 14, quite happy with that and am eating at least one cake each time he tweets - I say 'at least' as after I tweeted that idea he tweeted less and I still wanted cake.

Also I was excited on twitter to get a tweet from Rob daBank about Camp Bestival, I already have tickets and am wildly excited to see what acts he is lining up for this year. I have new wellies all ready to go! Last year was fabulous and this year I hope to plan better, catch more music acts and not miss so many comedy and literary events. I'm hoping to lure some of my favourite comedians and children's authors.

My little dog , the one with the brain tumour, is still soldiering on, showing signs of imbalance but no pain or distress so all is good there (all hail the wonder drug prednisolone)

The Archers had a special 60th anniversary 'shock' when Nigel (my favourite charater by far) fell of a roof and rather than end up paralysed in a wheelchair (a great story line that all on twitter seemed keen on) he was killed. This even took away the cosy happy feel to the archers so I'm no longer listening, it was the one 'soap' I still clung to, but seems it has joined the rest with it's depressing and unbelivable story lines.

In other news - today is 12th night and I'm not taking my decorations down until the weekend. This will end in tragedy.