Smooshed Creme Egg Bakes - Neither big nor clever

*trigger warning for huge amounts of creme egg cake recipes

On social media and in the world of blogging it seems you cannot blink this Easter without another picture of a cake covered in broken Cadbury Creme Eggs.

For anyone visiting from Uranus, a creme egg is a chocolate and fondant confection of teeth rotting sweetness. The centre wittily resembles that of a real egg.

In my youth I too liked a creme egg at Easter, and like many before and since, I poked my tongue into the moist middle with delight. But as I've grown up my sweet tooth has diminished and the diabetic inducing sweet no longer appeals. That would be fine, and I could ignore them and get on with my life that except that the world has gone berserk adding the eggs to anything and everything claiming that it makes something tastier and more Easter themed. I blame Pinterest.

Well, adding creme eggs doesn't improve things. It just adds extra sugar, and the horrible look of a house attacked by angry trick or treaters (ooh idea for Halloween cakes - no! stop, enough). A smashed creme egg looks like a smashed egg, that is not attractive. They taste only of sugar and American disappointment.

And if you don't believe how prevalent this horror is just look at a few of these examples! We have chocolate brownies and they are delicious, they do not need the addition of gloop, but despite that a recipe exists with just that.

Brownies made by The Minis and Me

And as for a creme egg 'blondie'...well, I really have no words, a blondie is something I already view with some suspicion, to add a creme egg into this dubious American mess can only end badly.

Blondies via MamaMummyMum

Cakes, whole cakes, already a treat, chocolate flavoured and covered in icing (frosting) I'm fairly sure crushed  creme eggs all over the top are an unneeded gilding of the cocoa lily!

Cake from Chilling with Lucas

Cheesecake, cheesecake!, is there no end to the abomination that is the creme egg takeover! A cheese cake needs no extra, it is cheese, soft and delicious, maybe with a tart fruit addition, but a smooshed creme egg? No no no. Just no.

Cheesecake from MotherGeek

And breakfast, the first meal of the day, where we need some protein and goodness, do we need creme eggs? No we do not, and yet it seems there are those among us that think a creme egg will improve a croissant. A croissant! That sophisticated and chic French pastry of delicate buttery loveliness, just no.

Croissant from Californian Mum in London

And last and most unnecessary of all, the Scotch Egg Brownie. I'm not sure I can fully express my horror and disgust, to hide the runny candy egg within and innocent brownie casing, to trap the unwary nibbler with a horrific gooey mine...

Scotch Egg Brownies form Nobody Said it Was Easy

I am ashamed of you all - I am especially ashamed of those blog readers that are, even now, writing down some of those recipes for later. You are sick! Sick I say! (or you will be later) Stick to proper recipes using chocolate mini eggs like normal people.

Recipes for Easter like mini white chocolate nests,  or regular chocolate nests, or even chocolate mini egg fudge, these are for normal, good and proper people.

Chocolate nests from The Messy Blog

Thank you to all the bloggers who agreed to be featured in this round up of loathing and disgust. All photos used with permission from the original posts.

Come and chat over on Twitter or my Facebook page I'd love to hear from you

Gooey, chocolatey, delicious, brownies

When I did the MorrisonsMum thing, with the vouchers and the blog post etc. you'll remember one of the things we did was make Meringues for the yummy Eton Mess. Meringues leave you with egg yolks and so I decided to use the egg yolks up in a recipe I found online for brownies.

I tweaked the recipe a bit, like you do, so here is my version. It uses 'cups' as measurements because I have a rather cute set of Russian Doll style measuring cups and I like to use them. You can buy them here if you really want some!

Time from starting, to eating (including clearing up the disaster zone that is the kitchen and cooling the brownies) 3 hours (yes really, don't trust anyone who tells you otherwise! we made them at night and had them for breakfast) it was worth it though.

Ingredients
1/3 cup fairtrade cocoa powder
1/2 cup and 2 tablespoons boiling water
2 ounces grated plain or cooking chocolate (grating chocolate is ridiculous - it gets static and leaps all over the place, makes the worst mess EVER!)
2oz butter (melted -I used the microwave)
1/2 cup and 2 tablespoons vegetable oil.
2 large eggs
2 egg yolks (remember them!)
2 and 1/2 cups caster sugar
1 and 3/4 cups self raising flour
6oz chocolate chunks or a few handfuls of M&Ms or nuts etc

 Mix cocoa and boiling water together in large bowl until smooth. Add grated chocolate and continue mixing until chocolate is melted. Mix in melted butter and oil. Add eggs, yolks, and vanilla keep stirring! Keep stirring until it's smooth...

  Add in the sugar and mix until fully incorporated. Add sifted flour and mix  until combined. Finally fold in bittersweet chocolate pieces.(or M&Ms etc)

Line a 9x13-inch baking tray with foil, leaving about a one-inch overhang on all sides, oil the foil to stop the brownies sticking, pour the mix into the tray.

bake for 40 to 45 minutes at gas 4 or 180c


Leave to cool for 1 and a half hours, then remove the brownie from the pan using the foil lip...let cool for another hour! (yeah right!)

Cut the brownies into squares. EAT ALL THE BROWNIES!!!!

Thanks to The Brown Eyed Baker for the recipe I 'borrowed' and Anglicised