Wife's work

This recent spell of UK hot weather reminded me of something that happened over 2 decades ago.

When I was 21 I started dating a guy 19 years older than me. It was supposed to be a bit of fun, but weeks turned to months, and then years, and years, and we were still together. My family had got over the shock and I was living in sin with my new man (who they referred to as their Sin-in-Law). He knew I wanted to get married, but I knew that he didn't, and part of that reason was that he felt our age gap was too great. "It's OK now" he'd say, "you are 26 and I'm 45, it doesn't seem so bad, but what about when you are 40, or 50?" I would reassure him, "it will be fine, why wouldn't it?" but convinced I was too young to really know, he didn't listen.

Sometimes we'd joke about it, he'd ask me to do some tedious household chore, or help with his tax returns and I would say "oh no, that's a wife's job, I'm just a mistress, I get to sit in the sun and drink champagne!"

Then one hot evening, after I finished work I was sitting in the hot garden, with my hot feet in a bucket of cold water. I was grumpy, and hot (did I mention it was hot?) and he wandered into the garden with an old jumper of his, "would you darn the elbow of this?" he asked. I looked up, grumpy, hot and annoyed. "No" I snapped "I wouldn't, that's a wife's job, I've told you, mistresses don't do sewing". He stood looking at me, how sexy I must have looked, sweaty, feet in a bucket.

"well then" he said "will you marry me? then you'll be my wife, and you can darn the jumper"

A long pause. Seriously? He looked shifty "yes seriously, I've been thinking about it, I think we should get married, I'd like to marry you"

What a romantic proposal. Well it cured my grump. I laughed and said yes. And the rest (as they say) is history. Twenty three years later, I'm still doing the repairs...I even have a sewing box, because you know, that's wife's work.

This post is a personal one. It's just a tiny piece of my history and I'm posting it for me, for my memories and for DD. If you read and enjoy it too, that's a bonus.


  1. A lovely post. Found myself rooting for you and your man. I glad the age gap didn't split you up. When it's right... it's just right

  2. Tattooed Mummy3/7/15

    thanks - you'll notice that I do still sit in the sun and drink cava an awful lot, I think it's a habit that's hard to break!

  3. Mark Robot Arm3/7/15

    See? I did read it. I was just being daft. (Did I mention the daft thing?) It's a lovely story. Must be if a curmudgeon like me (that's the other thing) thinks so.

  4. Tattooed Mummy3/7/15

    haha thanks

  5. I love reading these personal memories, thank you for sharing. I honestly had forgotten that your other half is 20 years older than you. Until right at the end, I thought you were going to say he walked out on you!

  6. Tattooed Mummy9/7/15

    That made me laugh! Glad you enjoyed the read. I think I forget sometimes why I blog and while I like to rant and advise about stuff, I like to use it to store memories too.

  7. coombemill11/7/15

    Oh wow how lovely and I love your mistress line! Not sure how I got out of all sewing but it was nothing so clever! Wedding dress? *ahem*


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