STOP RIGHT THERE! YOU’RE IN SOMEONE ELSE’S UNDERWEAR!

Yup. You read right. This ain’t a musing from Tattooed Mummy, like you’ve come looking for and are expecting.

Nope, this is a musing from Mamacrow.

Now did you read Tattooed Mummy’s post on disliking guest bloggers?

If you didn’t, go read it now. I’ll wait right here for you.

Done?

Ok, well I read it to and you know what – I agreed TOTALLY – in fact, every point she made is exactly how I felt about it too.

‘What could possibly be a good reason for a guest blogger on a blog…………..?’

I just couldn’t have agreed with that statement more.

Until…

I got to thinking.

See, a while ago Tattooed Mummy started the Plastic Joy Award.

Oh dear. You think I wouldn’t have enough time on my hands, but lets just say I’ve worked my 5 out – for purely books AND for TV/Film!

BUT I have this little problem. You see, I started my blog to record our Home Schooling, and therefore, I’ve spread the URL around to people who might need or want to read about that. Like my mother-in-law. And the Local Education Authority Home Schooling lady.

Yeah.

Sooooooo….. I thought… Perfect reason for a guest blog!

TA DA! Mamacrow’s Plastic Joy Awards!


No particular order, and I’ve done the book characters first…


1. Noel Merton (Angela Thirkell Books)

I HAD to have a Thirkell character; I’m obsessed with these period satires. And Noel is just awesome – he totally stands out from most of the others which generally fall into ‘types’, he’s witty, urban, kind, attractive, and marries Lydia who is my ultimate FAVOURITE Barsetshire character EVER, the one I want to be.

2. Captain Arthur Hastings (several Agatha Christie books)

I similarly had to have a Christie character. I never really stop reading her books… The writing is sublime (although admittedly, some are definitely better than others), and I have such a soft spot for Hastings. The first person narration is used so cleverly, so often, and he’s just so lovable – he keeps soldiering on, despite being constantly outfoxed by Poirot so effortlessly. It’s really satisfying when he finally gets the girl (Murder on the Links); the expression of emotions about his dead wife and his children in Curtains gets me every time. I include a picture as I feel that Hugh Fraser is as close to perfect castings as we’re ever likely to get.

3. Pa Ingles (Little House books)

Alright, I admit this one is kinda CREEPY. It’s not that I want a one night stand with him or anything, more that Ma is the ULTIMATE mother role model – I’m never going to attain that perpetual calm and patience although I wish I could – and I wish I could be her when I grow up. Pa is clever, hard working, resourceful, musical, dependable. The Ingles come across as a loving, strong knit family unit… I’d definitely want to build something like that, and Pa would be an ideal candidate to do it. No, not Almazo or Cap Garland – far too flighty.

4. Shane (Jack Schaefer)

Not the film. In fact, I’ve only seen clips from the film. I’m talking about the original Jack Schaefer novel. I discovered it one rainy afternoon when I was about 14 one of our many family bookcases and it just BLEW me away. Just THE most ROMANTIC thing ever. All the more so because it’s all inference and atmosphere. He’s the mysterious stranger who rides in from no where, beats all the bad guys and then continues on his lonely way in the sunset *happy sigh*

5. The Highwayman (Alfred Noyes)

This was the second ever poem I memorised, and I chose it solely because it has a horse in it (albeit briefly). If you’re wondering what my first choice was, it was The Young Lochinvar for exactly the same reason! This is an AMAZING work – the pace, the use of language, it’s just beautiful. I know highwayman were vicious and brutal and sordid in reality, but in this – wow. SO romantic. Moonlight trysts and self sacrifice and his reaction when he hears – he dashes back in broad daylight trying to take on the whole army, just not caring that he’ll be instantly blown away – wow. Just wow.
‘When they shot him down in the highway, down like a dog in the highway, and he lay in his blood in the highway, with the bunch of lace at his throat’
It still gives me thrills and chills. And think, he probably wore thigh high boots….

And now for the ones from screen –


1. Boromir (Lord of the Rings)


Ok. I’m a very visual person. So all the characters on this list – the actor is always going to have a little bit to do with it, and – as in the case of this first entry – I do have a bit of a thing for Sean Bean. Having said that, I don’t particularly fancy him in Sharpe, Golden Eye or Equilibrium, but as Boromir – it’s just the PERFECT casting. Boromir is one of my favourite characters from the book – and yes, I read the trilogy before I saw the films – he is a strong man, a courageous warrior of great skills who struggles with his doubts and fears. He just wants to protect his city and his people, an urge which the ring exploits. He ultimately triumphs, and is reconciled to Aragorn as his king before dying in a glorious, blood spattered blaze of glory.

2. G’Kar (Babylon 5)

Hoo boy. Well, seeing as the actor (Andreas Katsulas) is pretty much unrecognisable under all that latex, this is totally about the character. G’Kar has such an AMAZING character journey in Babylon 5; I can’t even begin to do it justice in a few lines. (However, I am going to bash on and have a try anyway.) He starts of as a somewhat brash freedom fighter, has a spiritual epiphany, and even achieves peace, of a sort, within the complex relationship he has with his fellow ambassador and racial enemy Londo Molari. We get a few treats in later series where he’s wandering about in his quarters with his shirt off *swoon* and yes, the spots go all the way down. Also – his voice. I could listen to it ALL day. He could be reciting the phone book for all I care.



3. Jareth the Goblin King (Labyrinth)


Admittedly I’m NUTS about David Bowie, but you have to understand I saw this film before I ever really listened to his music – in fact, this film pretty much kick started my obsession with him, and it wasn’t just about the tight trousers! (note from Tattooed Mummy - 'fess up, you know it's all about the Bowie Cock!!) I could have been Sarah – I had all those books, posters, toys, played those games – and Jareth not only could have sprung right out of my adolescent fantasies, but in fact he went on to inspire quite a few of them! He’s a maverick, apparently a controlling tyrant, Sarah, as she eventually discovers, has the ultimate power – ooh, it’s a heady mix! And I love, love, LOVE the fright wig.


4. Kareem Said (Oz)


Oooooooh. Just watch it. Yes the actor (Eamonn Walker) is a total hunk, - and a totally amazing actor as it happens – but this one’s DEFINITELY about the character. Said is a man of great integrity but he is real, three dimensional, flawed. He struggles with those flaws. And his voice! Ooooooh man….


5. Lamia (Michelle Pfeiffer in Star Dust)


Oh come on, I had to get a girl in there somewhere. Female attractiveness for me is a very visual thing – If I’m reading about a woman I’m more likely to want to be her – and Ms Pfeiffer just gets better and better… But, again, it's not just the actress – the character is a fab one. I always did like to root for the bad guy, particularly if they were a wicked witch!


Well there you have it. I hope you enjoyed your short sojourn in my knickers, so to speak ;-D

And from this experience – three more cast iron reasons why you should NEVER have a guest poster for your blog –

1. They never meet the deadline.
2. They rabbit on for ages and ages
3. They hid from you on twitter ‘cos they STILL haven’t finished yet