Wordy Wednesday with Bill Kieffer

Today I'm pleased to introduce Bill, Writer of The Goat: Building the Perfect Victim from Red Ferret Press. Now Available via Amazon: Adult, Dark Urban Fantasy

From beginning to end. If you ever want a book to slap you in the face as hard as possible, this…this is for you. ~Thurston Howl, editor-in-chief of Thurston Howl Publications

Bill Kieffer was born in Jersey City, New Jersey, USA.  A brain injury at an early age left him with some mild issues and just enough aphasia to be amusing at parties. He tries to be very open about these. He doesn't drink, having the bare minimum of inhibitions to begin with. Bill is happily married. He is a member of the Furry Writers Guild and has recently published short stories in several Furry anthologies put out by Fur Planet. Past writing credits include comic books like "Billy Joe Van Helsing: Red Neck Vampire Hunter" and "Great Morons in History, the Dan Quayle Bio."

And so to the interview - grab a chair, get comfy...

When and why did you start writing? When I was very young, I had a speech defect and then a bit of brain damage that just made that worse. That caused a bit of anxiety that just snow balled everything. My family situation was sort of chaotic as I was growing up and the written word was something I could control. Almost always the only thing I really could control. Sometimes, I feel like not much has changed; but I am confident behind a keyboard, if no where else.

What 3 things would you like to facilitate a good days writing? Isolation, to a certain extent... Friends and family tend to make arbitrary decisions about how much time spent writing is appropriate. Tea or sparkling water. It used to be diet soda, but I began to buy into that "diet soda makes one fat" thing. As if sitting at a keyboard for hours at a time isn't the real problem. The Internet or an encyclopedia: I write a lot about animals in allegorical & fantasy terms. My readers are often furries with a lot of knowledge of zoology, so I best be correct (unless I need to be wrong on purpose). (wait is that 4 things? I'll allow it...)

Do you write to a schedule, or do you write as and when the mood strikes? I write mostly short stories, so there's almost always a submission deadline to goad me on. However, I'm in charge of the housework at home, so I try to limit myself to just an hour of tv a day and one chore (like laundry or changing the cat litter). It was a good plan until the current administration came along and every day is like a horror story in the press here in the USA.(we feel your pain here in the UK - our local version of the dollar store, Poundland, has Trump themed Halloween items...)

Who is 'your' favourite fictional character? The answer to this is almost always the main character in whatever the "Work In Progress" is that day. Brooklyn Blackie, however, is probably my most recent favourite. I've written a lot of backstory for him and he has a lot of the same baggage I do, so he's a bit of my Mary Sue. His command of language is so much greater than mine, however. I've never been able to learn another language and that eats at my soul. (Brooklyn Blackie is a bisexual private detective in a furry version of 1940s New York City and I love the sound of him!)

Is writing your main source of income, I read lots of articles saying writers make no money, and my readers asked this question a lot! Can you survive on book writing alone? if not, what else do you do? Oh, no, my niche is so small, I could never live on the income. I write to be heard. My ego wears spurs.(I love that!) Until very recently, I used to dispatch tradespeople for a facilities maintenance company with lots of clients. However, they relocated to the bread basket of America, Kansas. That's a... really long commute, so I chose to stay here on the East Coast.

What are your favourite biscuits (cookies)? Oh, my American tastes are going to show here. Nutter Butter cookies. (these sound amazing - I am determined to try some)

Where do you do most of your writing? I write in one of our guest rooms, the Mardi Gras room, because unlike most of the other rooms in the house, the three cats and the great dane are not allowed in here.

Where the writing happens...

What book are you reading at the moment? I just finished HOTBLOOD: A Centaur in the Old West by Toril Orlesky. I am in the middle of Transcendent from Lethe Press currently. It's been very thought provoking so far and it contains the story "Not Equally Yoked" by Alexis Hunter, which I thought was the best story I read in 2016.

Is truth really stranger than fiction? Truth doesn't obey the rules, so I find that very annoying. However, my fiction involves talking goats and sadistic mages, so I might not be the best person to ask.

If you could genetically cross and animal with a fruit or vegetable what would you choose and why? I'm currently keen on a cauliflower/caterpillar, a cauli-pillar, a bumpy white caterpillar affair that would be nice with cheese... Oh! My Vore readers will love this question, so let me put some thought into it. I think I would cross a cockroach with a watermelon seed, because, you know... when you see a roach, every one hopes for a split second that what they are really looking at is a misplaced watermelon seed. So, now, you can be right about that for a change. Plus, watermelon seeds are totally edible and can be dried and ground into flour. So, if we got them to breed like roaches, we'd be that much closer to ending world hunger. My Vore reader focus group reports that they'd like something that screams a little bit more than a roach might. But they are a fickle bunch. I once offered them a breed of goat that vomits up it's own curry sauce at the moment of slaughter, but they were no impressed.

If you could bring a dead person back from the dead for one day to have tea and a natter with them, who would you choose and why? Helen Thomas, a member of the White House Press Corps. Before her death in 2013, she was frequent guest on the Colbert Report (as well as appearances as herself in a handful of politically themed movies) and I'd love to talk to her about the current political situation here in the states.

Thank you Bill for your candid and fun replies, and for not shying away from the horror of the moment in real life as well as fiction!

You can find Bill all over the web

Blog: https://typinghorse.wordpress.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheGoatNovella Twitter: https://twitter.com/Greyflank Publisher: http://www.redferretpress.com/ Bookcrossing: http://www.bookcrossing.com/mybookshelf/Greyflank/ GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/14249456.Bill_Kieffer

and for no other reason than I can...here is a gratuitous photo of me and my favourite Furry, Cosmic Wuffy

Halloween Fun, Fear and Fancy Dress

Halloween has become a proper mishmash of cultures and ideas since it all started. And who even knows when it all began? The celebration seems to have started around the ancient Gaelic festival of Samhain, a sort of harvest festival linked to the collecting of crops and the slaughter of animals for winter, the Celts also linked this time of year to a thinning of the walls between the worlds, where spirits may pass.

Later, half stolen by the church (as so many pagan festivals were) it became All Hallow's Eve, the eve of All Saint's Day (hallowed meaning holy) and All Saints day a day to honor the saints. Of course people liked to cling on to the superstitions and fears of the past too, so spirits and the departed were caught up in it all over again.

The idea of dressing up seems to stem from the Scottish tradition of guising, where children dress as the dead and perform entertainments in exchange for apples, cake and nuts. In Americia this has become trick or treat with vague threats for those households not giving treats to those dressed up!

The Day of the Dead in Mexico (Dia de Muertos)  also occurs around this time so it is of no wonder that it too is stirred into the melting pot of myth, magic, respect and fears of the dead in costume and decoration, though it's origins are slightly different.

Zombie Bride

In the US trick or treat costumes have totally moved away from those of the dead or of scariness, with people dressing as cowboys, cartoon characters and animals. But in the UK we still look to scare or at least cause a squeak of surprise with our costumes, drawing from around the world with vampires and werewolves from Eastern Europe, mummies from Egypt, voodoo and zombies from Haiti, ghouls, wraiths, goblins, ghosts and skeletons. (and even killer clowns!)

Spider Ghoul - guaranteed to give you nightmares

While I won't be attending a halloween party this year I do plan on greeting the trick or treaters that visit the house in costume!

Stop staring at my coccyx!

There is no excuse not to look fabulous while terrifying if you pop over to the Morphsuits website and check out the amazing costumes. This year I will be wearing the gorgeous Sugar Skull suit, with a mask of course. But there are many frightening suits to choose from. How about a clown costume? A monster? an alien?

What would you choose?

Pop over to Facebook and let me know - or let Morphsuits know! and visit me on twitter to see me in the suit on halloween.

You still have plenty of time to choose and buy a suit - prices start at  £9.99 and they have suits and fancy dress costumes for all shapes and sizes, adults and children.

I was sent a Sugar Skull Morphsuit in exchange for this post. And for reference, I'm a size 12/14 and the ladies large is slightly too big on me! So while there is extra room for pumpkin pie and sweets, you might be better buying a medium if you are a 12.

Dressing up for World Book Day

I love dressing up. Yeah I hear your filthy giggles and see your smirks, well I don't even care! I like dressing up, any excuse and I'll try and find a costume to suit. Sadly I'm old and when you are old the chances to dress us recede (unless you just go the whole 'crazy old lady' route and wear a ballgown and tiara to do the weekly shop) 

but when you are young... oh the opportunities are endless and schools even encourage it with the rather fabulous World Book Day - encouraging young readers to choose their favourite book and dress in character for a day - I don't mind admitting I wish I was at school and if I was I'd be dressed as Sir Samuel Vimes' good lady, Sybil  (and only then as I'd look silly as Sam Vimes himself) ..but alas, I am not.

But dear readers, I know many of you (like me) have adorably cute offspring that are probably already trying to convince you to get them the perfect costume for WBD. And that's where this handy blog post comes in, because, via the medium of Twitter I discovered a rather awesome online fancy dress shop called Simply Fancy Dress! 

They kindly sent me a costume for the lovely DD to review but I need to tell you all about the site anyway because it's ace! Go on CLICK this link and take a look, I'll wait, no actually I won't - click it in a minute, because if you go there now you'll be ages and ages as it's such fun to hunt and browse around! They have the usual daft hen and stag fancy dress of course (much of it pretty tasteless, but there's hen and stag dos for you) but they also have some rather super child costumes, they even handily divide them into sections to make the search simpler (hang on SIMPLY Fancy Dress - the clue was in the name all the time!)

Horrid Henry Costume

So you can look at the likes of Horrid Henry costumes to simple Red Riding Hood and anything else that takes your fancy and childrens book day costumes start from £3.95 with £3.99 delivery! Honestly I was impressed - I wish I'd known about them for Tudor day!

Musketeer Costume

Look at this Brave Musketeer for only £17.99 I can't help wishing I knew some boys to dress up as the Three Musketeers!

Or maybe you have a girl who simply adores "How to Train Your Dragon" , (Viking Girl £16.99)

or a fan of Harry Potter,  I was roaming the site for ages. They have all sorts of great accessories too so if your costume is 'almost perfect' they probably have that last little finishing touch you need, like a pair of glasses or make up (including some zombie and vampire stuff to turn your stomach!)

Of course you are all dying to see DD in her glorious costume - so here she is looking rather glam in this Teen outfit which we were impressed to find included the tights, mask, dress and wings for my little butterfly daughter. The outfit is really nicely made too and was all packaged nicely. I always think that costumes, especially for small kids (but also for those like me that just LOVE to dress up) are a great fun present too - opening a whole world of imaginative fun.

 

 

 And if you don't have kids but have a dog...actually if you don't have a dog, buy a dog, just so you can dress it in this!

Raptor Dog Costume(sadly now no longer available)

Disclosure: I was sent a free costume in return for my review but the post contains only my own thoughts on the Simply Fancy Dress website!

I leave the last word on the fun of fancy dress to DD