Being Nemo's Dad...parenting and Risk Management

Long ago a cop show was on TV called NYPD Blue, hubby and I watched it a lot and really enjoyed it. In one episode a character called Sipowicz and his life was pretty traumatic, lots of those close to him were killed, leaving him sole carer of his young son. The tragedies that surrounded him left him over cautious and in one episode we saw his anguish at having to let his son climb and use a high slide at a playground, on his own. It was a defining moment where Andy Sipowicz learned that you have to let go, or people cannot fulfil their potential. And that all hazards can be risk assessed and managed (more of that later).

For hubby and I it was a mixture of the funny and desperately sad. And we vowed to never become so protective of our daughter that she wouldn't be able to have the fun that goes with the odd risk. So during her toddler years we used the phrase "Remember Sipowicz" whenever we felt that we may be in danger of over protection......but wow it is hard! hard to see the small person that you adore doing something 'risky', going on the 'big' swing with no straps for the first time! Riding a bike, climbing a tree, horse riding etc etc (getting sweaty palms here just imagining it...

Fast forward.....................

So then when she was 3 we went and saw Finding Nemo. Aside from the fact that the scene in which the mother and all the eggs bar one are killed and eaten by a barracuda, leaving Nemo's Dad alone with one deformed egg, affected my sensitive daughter so much that she screamed and begged to leave the cinema, and is now scarred for life; we enjoyed the film.

And I realised that Marlin (Nemo's father) was a modern day Sipowicz. He too was over protective due to the tragic events that had befallen those he loved. So why was I in danger of being him? I've had a great life where most people I love died of old age (one with a glass of martini in her hand! now THAT is the way to go!) and I have a lovely daughter who is pretty, and clever.....so maybe that's it! I fall into the 'I'm too lucky, it can't stay this good, I deserve something bad to happen!' How ridiculous! but it's true. So now when my 10 year old starts jumping at her riding lessons, I mutter under my breath "don't be Marlin" because she needs to experience hazards, and if I don't let her I run the risk, like Marlin did, of driving her to bigger hazards than I can control.

Which brings me to Risk assessment. :-) (I can hear you yawning, yes you! you at the back!) any way we had a safety talk at work. We defined the difference between a HAZARD and a RISK.

A Hazard is something that could cause harm, and a risk is how likely that is to happen.

For example a tiger is a hazard, in a room uncaged the risk to you is HUGE but the same tiger, caged is barely a risk at all, the hazard is the same, the risk is managed.

So now I'm a parent that tries to risk manage WITHOUT turning into Sipowicz or Marlin!

Horse riding? learn at a good stable and wear a hat and back protector.

Swimming? Learn at a good swim school, and learn the hazards associated with open and cold water.

Not sure I'm there yet but one day, maybe when she's 35 I'll let her cross the road alone.....

The Moon in a Shoebox

Are you a parent of a school age child? if so you will know the enormous amount of 'projects' that have to be completed at home, and will understand that depending on your child's age and how keen on the project they are the amount of help they need from you can vary from 0 - 100%

at the weekend my 10 year old and I finally finished a long planned 'moon' project. The brief was that it had to be 'something about the moon or space or the stars, with facts.' Previous entries had included papier mache moons, model space craft, plans of stars etc.

Well I can take credit for the idea and minimal assistance with the sticking. Daughter was in charge of planning, picture choice, cutting and placement. Also the facts were all researched, selected and printed etc by her.

The results are below. It is the first project where we both learned stuff, we both had fun, and we are both proud of the finished product!

The shoe box has a tracing paper panel in the lid to allow light in....should you wish to make your own! ;-)

Wendy's Law

not like megan's law this law is a law of awesomeness! brought to my attention, and subsequently named after Wendy a friend on Twitter

People are bullied, they are bullied as children and they are even bullied as adults. Much has been written on the subject of bullying(I don't feel the need to add to that here). I was bullied. many people were and are still bullied. This law is for YOU!

Wendy has pointed out the obvious - the bullies know that we are awesome! they pick only on the best person, they try to destroy us while we are young, because they know one day we will be so fabulous as to be INVINCIBLE!!!!!

So for all those being bullied - hang in there! Get some advice, and help from someplace great like Bullying.UK and realise that Wendy's Law applies to you - You are frickin' awesome!

In brief, Wendy's Law states - the more bullied you are, the more awesome you are!