|Copyright: pretoperola / 123RF Stock Photo
On Valentine's Day, a man in a relationship with a lady has several choices.
He can ignore the entire thing, dismiss it as comercialised and claim he doesn't need a day to tell her he loves her. She will assume he is an uncaring heel or that he forgot and this is a feeble way of weaseling out of the whole thing.
He can buy a card, something cute or funny and that's that. She will think he is cheap, assume he grabbed it without thinking in the supermarket or petrol station and she will tell all her friends how uncaring he is.
He can buy an elaborate gift such as a huge bunch of red roses or a massive box of chocolates, and she will tell him what a waste of money flowers are, especially on Valentine's day, she will also exclaim she is dieting and the chocolates are cruel. She will tell her friends he is predictable and boring.
So what do women actually want? Well I asked a few women that were in relationships what their perfect Valentine's Day gift would be. Instantly and top of the list was time by themselves! I can understand the desire to escape the busy everyday life but I was hoping for something a teensy bit more romantic (chaps, save this information for a birthday gift!). Next most popular was sleep, yes I know, still not terribly romantic, though combined with a man that takes charge of the kids when they wake, gives them breakfast, settles them in front of a 3 hour movie and then takes his snoozing wife breakfast in bed might count...
But the suggestions that seemed most useful were:
- Unmarried ladies in relationships (such as Emma) seem to hope for diamonds, if you like it, she correctly assumes, you should have put a ring on it.
- Another popular choice is a spa day, for true romance I guess you'd have to go too, his and hers towels by the pool, joint massages and a cosy canoodle in the hot tub. Several ladies liked that idea.
- Chocolates were not totally out of favour, but they needed to be quality over quantity, the day of the large padded heart shape box are over it seems.
- Many ladies feel that having everything done for them is the way to go, baby sitter sorted, table booked and then whisked off in a taxi so you can both have a tipple at a restaurant where the night is spent eating and gazing into each others eyes....just as you did before your life was full of toddlers and snot.
- Another lovely idea was being told to treat yourself to a new pair of shoes or a new handbag, so many ladies would like this so much more than flowers or chocolates! Even a new dress, why not pluck up the courage to go shopping with her, telling her how sexy she looks in the things she chooses (not looking at your watch and telling her you are missing the rugby)
- On the 'time alone together' theme, it wasn't only restaurants and spas that were mentioned, afternoon tea, or even a wander around a town or a walk in the country were suggested. Even a whole night in a hotel - oh to have the freedom for loud sex without the kids hearing.....
- The idea of a surprise was high on the list too - unusual gifts but ones that might be appreciated, cheese, a new purse, earrings, perfume....but not 'sexy underwear' (the crime of buying what you, the chap, deem sexy, but what is, in reality, cheap, tacky and uncomfortable and really for you anyway...just no) Going with her to buy some Agent Provocateur does not come into the 'no' category obviously...
- And one odd request was mooted. "I'd really like if he hired a backing group and made up a barbershop style song about me and then performed it on the doorstep. The kind of thing that takes a bit of effort!" ... I'll just leave that there....no one said us women were low maintenance...
|Copyright: ventura69 / 123RF Stock Photo
The top result, in all it's varieties, (if we exclude time alone!) was time with you, the man in her life. For you to organise it all so she can be swept off her feet, away from her normal life to an afternoon, evening, or weekend of romantic together time....chaps...you heard it here first..now go get her.Your time, it's what she wants and it's almost (assuming no baby sitting fees) free. No excuse, have fun together.
Huge thanks to the following bloggers for their candid input. Why not check out their blogs on Valentine's Day to see if all their dreams come true.