I thought it was a simple concept. So did Jesus. Every one is worth the same. We are equal, we should treat everyone as we would treat ourselves. Equality. It’s a nice thing. 

So why is ‘gay marriage’ even an issue? I know it’s only a few years since ‘the homosexual act’ (I have NO idea what that is!? I hope some stuffy secretary to an MP somewhere has to write out a definition with diagrams) was illegal but I thought that once that was out of the way we were on the home straight (no pun intended) 

 I’m not gay. But I am married, I’m married for old fashioned reasons like sharing a name with my husband, having a child with our name and sharing her guardianship, being prepared to sign up to something legal as a declaration of our love and commitment in front of friends, family, the world. Being a team. We did not get married in a church, despite my dad being a Reverend.

So Equal Marriage (cos there’s no straight marriage, or black marriage, old people marriage, etc) should just be a thing. I didn’t want to blog about it – the subject is WAY too vast – I could probably write a book and tour the world giving seminars but I wanted to at least address a few of the more annoying and potentially ridiculous arguments against it I’d heard this week. If you are against gay people getting married (and I’m using gay to encompass anyone who is not heterosexual cos I’m too lazy to type a list) then just admit it’s because you think it’s nasty – because I really can’t see any other reason. 

 It says it in the Bible – hmm OK then, so first off I’m assuming marriage is only for Christians  since we are going with the Bible? No atheists can marry? No one of any other religion can marry in the UK? No, pretty sure you are wrong, fairly sure that any religion or none can legally marry in the UK. 

But IT SAYS IT IN THE BIBLE – all right all ready! But it says lots of other things too, even if we discount the entire old testament with it’s bizarre rules against eating prawns, against having tattoos, against touching menstruation women, but pro sacrificing goats for sins committed (most of which I bet you are not adhering to) even if we stick to the new testament, Jesus was fairly non committal on gay-ness, he hung around with men he loved, told people to ‘love God’ and ‘love thy neighbour as thyself’ and that was pretty much it (although he did get a tad angry with the money changers but who can blame him, and he was in favour of Starbucks paying their taxes*) So shush. 

Marriage is the perfect situation to bring up children, gay people can’t have children – leaving aside the obvious answer that they can adopt, or in the case of women, give birth to their own child via donor sperm, by this argument couples that cannot have children (or choose not to) shouldn’t be allowed to marry, nor should older people past the age of having children, which is patently ridiculous, there is no fertility test prior to marriage nor a law that states you must have children to remain married. Shush again. 

You can’t change what marriage is – this annoyed me when I heard it on Radio 4 this morning as the man that said it had just told the interviewer that marriage ‘was originally about the woman as property and a man could have more than one wife but current marriage was the better option” SO IT’S ALREADY CHANGED!! Things change. We learn, we grow…at least some of us do. It’s how we are made (if you believe in God – it’s how God made us!)

 I’m going to stop ranting unless I hear more stupid reasons today. 

Feel free to add a rant (for or against) below. Be polite. Prepare to debate. 

Can you tell I think marriage is a good thing? 

And if you are not married, whether gay or straight and do or don’t have kids, that’s fine too as long as that’s what you want. It’s why we have choices. I just think the choices should be open to all. 

*Matthew ch22 v15-22 

Image Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos


  1. Hear hear to everything you say. Here are my thoughts on the matter. I think we have the right to disagree with something. If the thought of gay people getting married upsets you, well, that's up to you. We can't control people's feelings or opinions. However. As a Christian, and a human being, I cannot see how ethically we have the right to tell ANYONE that they are forbidden to do something that the rest of the population is allowed to do, simply because of who they are. Weren't we doing that 50 years ago to black people? You cannot come on this bus because you are black. You cannot get married because you are gay. Same message. And that is what I struggle with. I honestly don't know where I stand theologically on the whole issue but I do know one thing - I want to love people as Jesus loved them. And excluding them from our church because of a "sin" doesn't seem Christlike to me..... and to be honest would mean than neither I nor any other member of my church could set foot in the place again.

    The gay parents thing. WHY ON EARTH does being gay make someone a bad parent? If a child needs "a mother and a father" where does that put single parents? If marriage is meant for the procreation of children, where does that leave the infertile?????


    I do have one flip side argument.... well not an argument actually, a genuine question. Forgive my ignorance but I thought gay people *could* get married. Is this just about being married in a church? Or is it just to be able to have the title of "married"? If being married is just about a title or bit of paper, doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of marriage? And if civil ceremonies in registry offices don't count as marriage... where does that leave all those couples who chose not get married in a church? Genuine question.

    Apologies for the essay. But thank you for the post xxxx

    1. They can currently have a 'civil partnership' which is slightly different to a marriage and carries different legal standing, it also specifically excludes any religious element. See more at http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/feb/17/gay-marriage-civil-partnerships

      Thanks for the rant :-)

  2. I think all the necessary ranting has already been done here. Very good. Carry on.

  3. Not a big fan of marriage, speaking as a bitter divorcee. ;) But EVERYONE should have the right to get engaged as a result of a very strong ecstasy tablet to someone utterly unsuitable and then have them persuade you into marrying them given you did get engaged that one time and you're living together, regardless of their sexuality.

    And thanks for putting "gay marriage" in quotation marks. Because bisexual people entering into same sex relationships may want to marry, but it doesn't suddenly make us gay ;) x

  4. Everyone deserves the right to bicker over napkin colours with their future mum-in-law!

  5. Anonymous5/2/13

    I'm not quite sure I'd wish marriage on anyone else right now! ;-)

    On a serious note, I agree with you.

  6. I blogged about this too http://mymillsbaby.co.uk/2013/02/gay-marriage-why-im-in-favour/ - the whole marriage being the 'gold standard' from which to raise children irks me. My son was born to two loving parents and we're not married.

    And what about those that have to undergo heartbreaking IVF because they can't have children. Does that make their marriage incomplete? No. Most definitely not. So if they can resort to adopting or using a donor, why can't same-sex couples?

  7. Thank you for being a sane individual! I don't understand why it's not a thing already either. Why are we even having this debate???

  8. Anonymous6/2/13

    I wrote this morning about why the vote for was such a good thing. You seem to have smashed the arguments of the 'against' lobby rather well here. Good post.

  9. Even though your Dad is a Reverend, he is very pro "gay marriage" and would have conducted one if he had been asked to and it had been legal before he retired.

  10. I'm still trying to figure out the issue.
    Gay people CAN (legally) be married - just not in church.
    The whole Christian church and gay marriage thing doesn't make sense to me - it's a bit like wanting to join the chess club to play bridge...
    I'm pretty sure that gay marriage isn't done in many other religions and I don't think petitioning mosques/synagogues/other places of religious worship to allow gay couples to marry in them is happening so why the targetting of the Christian church to insist that they allow gay marriage?
    Many straight couples marry outside of the church (but still legal marriage) so I'm failing to see why gay couples are having issues about being able to marry.


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