Last Friday she fell in the door drunk after being sent home early by mates because a club wouldn't let her in (she was too intoxicated apparently - which she strenuously and slurrily denied)
Her bedroom is still a teen land of danger, no one should venture in, clothes litter the floordrobe and various bottles of beauty products are scattered beneath the mirror shrine to instagram. Windows are never opened and curtains rarely drawn, it's a world of gloom, and complex disorder.
On the whole though, like many adults she is pretty responsible. She has a car (gifted! because she did well at her A levels) and she has a full time job. She is never late for work, works hard and is appreciated by those she works with.
At home, when requested, (though never spontaneously) she will do chores around the house, sweeping, hoovering, dusting, walking the dog etc etc. Though of course 'tidy your room' is not a chore that currently seems possible.
So I have a new adult in the house, I can send her out to buy beer, ask her to pick up things in the car (including me!) it's rather fantastic and strange.
As yet I haven't asked her for rent. It all seems a tad new and weird, this new adult in the house. For years she had pocket money from us, and now I'm looking at that money flowing the other way.
And I'm wondering how to proceed, there are few manuals about teens, there are no 'Mum and Teen' church groups to join, as there were toddler groups, I rarely chat to other mums of teens and it's hard to do that anyway because as parents we don't want to disrespect our offspring's privacy.
So here I am, embarking on a new chapter, a new adult in our house, living here, eating here, being messy here, how soon should she be contributing here too? Is it too late? Should I have started on day one of paid work?! Is it too soon, is it nice to allow your teen a bit of fun (assuming you can afford it) when they first start earning?
I'd love for other mums and dads of adults to let me know their opinion, or what they have done, and even what they wished had or hadn't done! I guess like much of parenting there are no hard and fast rules and what works for one may not work for another, we all just muddle along.