Wordy Wednesday with Bill Kieffer

Today I'm pleased to introduce Bill, Writer of The Goat: Building the Perfect Victim from Red Ferret Press. Now Available via Amazon: Adult, Dark Urban Fantasy

From beginning to end. If you ever want a book to slap you in the face as hard as possible, this…this is for you. ~Thurston Howl, editor-in-chief of Thurston Howl Publications

Bill Kieffer was born in Jersey City, New Jersey, USA.  A brain injury at an early age left him with some mild issues and just enough aphasia to be amusing at parties. He tries to be very open about these. He doesn't drink, having the bare minimum of inhibitions to begin with. Bill is happily married. He is a member of the Furry Writers Guild and has recently published short stories in several Furry anthologies put out by Fur Planet. Past writing credits include comic books like "Billy Joe Van Helsing: Red Neck Vampire Hunter" and "Great Morons in History, the Dan Quayle Bio."

zombie brony bill
And so to the interview - grab a chair, get comfy...

When and why did you start writing? When I was very young, I had a speech defect and then a bit of brain damage that just made that worse. That caused a bit of anxiety that just snow balled everything. My family situation was sort of chaotic as I was growing up and the written word was something I could control. Almost always the only thing I really could control. Sometimes, I feel like not much has changed; but I am confident behind a keyboard, if no where else.

What 3 things would you like to facilitate a good days writing? Isolation, to a certain extent... Friends and family tend to make arbitrary decisions about how much time spent writing is appropriate. Tea or sparkling water. It used to be diet soda, but I began to buy into that "diet soda makes one fat" thing. As if sitting at a keyboard for hours at a time isn't the real problem. The Internet or an encyclopedia: I write a lot about animals in allegorical & fantasy terms. My readers are often furries with a lot of knowledge of zoology, so I best be correct (unless I need to be wrong on purpose). (wait is that 4 things? I'll allow it...)

Do you write to a schedule, or do you write as and when the mood strikes? I write mostly short stories, so there's almost always a submission deadline to goad me on. However, I'm in charge of the housework at home, so I try to limit myself to just an hour of tv a day and one chore (like laundry or changing the cat litter). It was a good plan until the current administration came along and every day is like a horror story in the press here in the USA.(we feel your pain here in the UK - our local version of the dollar store, Poundland, has Trump themed Halloween items...)

Who is 'your' favourite fictional character? The answer to this is almost always the main character in whatever the "Work In Progress" is that day. Brooklyn Blackie, however, is probably my most recent favourite. I've written a lot of backstory for him and he has a lot of the same baggage I do, so he's a bit of my Mary Sue. His command of language is so much greater than mine, however. I've never been able to learn another language and that eats at my soul. (Brooklyn Blackie is a bisexual private detective in a furry version of 1940s New York City and I love the sound of him!)

Is writing your main source of income, I read lots of articles saying writers make no money, and my readers asked this question a lot! Can you survive on book writing alone? if not, what else do you do? Oh, no, my niche is so small, I could never live on the income. I write to be heard. My ego wears spurs.(I love that!) Until very recently, I used to dispatch tradespeople for a facilities maintenance company with lots of clients. However, they relocated to the bread basket of America, Kansas. That's a... really long commute, so I chose to stay here on the East Coast.

What are your favourite biscuits (cookies)? Oh, my American tastes are going to show here. Nutter Butter cookies. (these sound amazing - I am determined to try some)

Where do you do most of your writing? I write in one of our guest rooms, the Mardi Gras room, because unlike most of the other rooms in the house, the three cats and the great dane are not allowed in here.

Where the writing happens...

What book are you reading at the moment? I just finished HOTBLOOD: A Centaur in the Old West by Toril Orlesky. I am in the middle of Transcendent from Lethe Press currently. It's been very thought provoking so far and it contains the story "Not Equally Yoked" by Alexis Hunter, which I thought was the best story I read in 2016.

Is truth really stranger than fiction? Truth doesn't obey the rules, so I find that very annoying. However, my fiction involves talking goats and sadistic mages, so I might not be the best person to ask.

If you could genetically cross and animal with a fruit or vegetable what would you choose and why? I'm currently keen on a cauliflower/caterpillar, a cauli-pillar, a bumpy white caterpillar affair that would be nice with cheese... Oh! My Vore readers will love this question, so let me put some thought into it. I think I would cross a cockroach with a watermelon seed, because, you know... when you see a roach, every one hopes for a split second that what they are really looking at is a misplaced watermelon seed. So, now, you can be right about that for a change. Plus, watermelon seeds are totally edible and can be dried and ground into flour. So, if we got them to breed like roaches, we'd be that much closer to ending world hunger. My Vore reader focus group reports that they'd like something that screams a little bit more than a roach might. But they are a fickle bunch. I once offered them a breed of goat that vomits up it's own curry sauce at the moment of slaughter, but they were no impressed.

If you could bring a dead person back from the dead for one day to have tea and a natter with them, who would you choose and why? Helen Thomas, a member of the White House Press Corps. Before her death in 2013, she was frequent guest on the Colbert Report (as well as appearances as herself in a handful of politically themed movies) and I'd love to talk to her about the current political situation here in the states.

Thank you Bill for your candid and fun replies, and for not shying away from the horror of the moment in real life as well as fiction!

You can find Bill all over the web

Blog: https://typinghorse.wordpress.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheGoatNovella Twitter: https://twitter.com/Greyflank Publisher: http://www.redferretpress.com/ Bookcrossing: http://www.bookcrossing.com/mybookshelf/Greyflank/ GoodReads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/14249456.Bill_Kieffer

and for no other reason than I can...here is a gratuitous photo of me and my favourite Furry, Cosmic Wuffy

deadpool meets a furry cosplayer at comiccon