Smooshed Creme Egg Bakes - Neither big nor clever

*trigger warning for huge amounts of creme egg cake recipes

On social media and in the world of blogging it seems you cannot blink this Easter without another picture of a cake covered in broken Cadbury Creme Eggs.

For anyone visiting from Uranus, a creme egg is a chocolate and fondant confection of teeth rotting sweetness. The centre wittily resembles that of a real egg.

In my youth I too liked a creme egg at Easter, and like many before and since, I poked my tongue into the moist middle with delight. But as I've grown up my sweet tooth has diminished and the diabetic inducing sweet no longer appeals. That would be fine, and I could ignore them and get on with my life that except that the world has gone berserk adding the eggs to anything and everything claiming that it makes something tastier and more Easter themed. I blame Pinterest.

Well, adding creme eggs doesn't improve things. It just adds extra sugar, and the horrible look of a house attacked by angry trick or treaters (ooh idea for Halloween cakes - no! stop, enough). A smashed creme egg looks like a smashed egg, that is not attractive. They taste only of sugar and American disappointment.

And if you don't believe how prevalent this horror is just look at a few of these examples! We have chocolate brownies and they are delicious, they do not need the addition of gloop, but despite that a recipe exists with just that.

creme egg brownie
Brownies made by The Minis and Me
And as for a creme egg 'blondie'...well, I really have no words, a blondie is something I already view with some suspicion, to add a creme egg into this dubious American mess can only end badly.
creme egg blondie
Blondies via MamaMummyMum
Cakes, whole cakes, already a treat, chocolate flavoured and covered in icing (frosting) I'm fairly sure crushed  creme eggs all over the top are an unneeded gilding of the cocoa lily!
creme egg cake
Cake from Chilling with Lucas
Cheesecake, cheesecake!, is there no end to the abomination that is the creme egg takeover! A cheese cake needs no extra, it is cheese, soft and delicious, maybe with a tart fruit addition, but a smooshed creme egg? No no no. Just no.
creme egg cheesecake
Cheesecake from MotherGeek
And breakfast, the first meal of the day, where we need some protein and goodness, do we need creme eggs? No we do not, and yet it seems there are those among us that think a creme egg will improve a croissant. A croissant! That sophisticated and chic French pastry of delicate buttery loveliness, just no.
creme egg croissant
Croissant from Californian Mum in London
And last and most unnecessary of all, the Scotch Egg Brownie. I'm not sure I can fully express my horror and disgust, to hide the runny candy egg within and innocent brownie casing, to trap the unwary nibbler with a horrific gooey mine...
creme egg scotch egg brownie
Scotch Egg Brownies form Nobody Said it Was Easy

I am ashamed of you all - I am especially ashamed of those blog readers that are, even now, writing down some of those recipes for later. You are sick! Sick I say! (or you will be later) Stick to proper recipes using chocolate mini eggs like normal people.

Recipes for Easter like mini white chocolate nests,  or regular chocolate nests, or even chocolate mini egg fudge, these are for normal, good and proper people.

mini egg nests
Chocolate nests from The Messy Blog

Thank you to all the bloggers who agreed to be featured in this round up of loathing and disgust. All photos used with permission from the original posts.

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