4.4.13

Woman have many faults, men have only two

You've all heard the rhyme? "Women have many faults, men have only two, everything they say and everything they do" Yes, haha, very witty, very pithy, very ... untrue!

You know when you are at a job interview and they ask you 'What is your greatest fault?" and (if you are cunning) you have planned some quick witted answer like "I'm a perfectionist, often working late to ensure my work has no errors!" or "I'm a workaholic, preferring to work than spend time at home!" or "I have a rather silly love of spreadsheets, people say I'm boring but I like to think of it as organised!" well this (and the silly rhyme) got me thinking about my faults. 

This is a blog, I can be honest right? No one will judge me? This is the friendly un-judgey interwebs (wry smile)



So..my faults. The more I thought about it the more I realised my biggest faults (IMO probably not my long suffering husband who would opt for 'untidy' and "forgetful" and maybe "disorganised") are related to my shyness. Stop laughing  at the back. Yes I realise I tweet all sorts, blog about all manner of things, send photos of my nipple to other websites for the world to see, but that's not the sort of shyness I mean. I 'll explain...

Fault Number One

I appear standoffish and snobby, brusque or overbearing. I can be very slow to warm to new people (DD is the same) this makes me quiet, I might lurk on the edge of groups, trying to join a conversation but not doing well. being either over familiar or too silent. People think I'm being a snob because I don't talk to them, or assume I'm unfriendly. I'm not and once I know you I'm the life and soul, totally fun and hilarious, massive ego, love myself! (wait that sounds like a fault too ...) moving on ...

Fault Number Two

I use humour a lot. I can seem flippant and uncaring. I'm far from that. I try to diffuse difficult or upsetting situations with humour, a reason people on twitter like my tweets i think, but if you don't know me, or don't know me well I can seem crass and insensitive. I'm really very caring, sad things affect me deeply and when I can, I'll help. DD has this trait too, too much empathy on many an occasion (let's not revisit the traumatic Finding Nemo incident - scarred for life!)

And these faults are because I'm shy. A deep desire to be liked, a fear you will not like me. A real urge to get to know you, to be your friend, a proper friend, but also a funny one.

I do talk to people and I do make an effort to be more outgoing (some early advice from Dame Edna, of all people, helped there, she suggests you 'act as if' - so if you are shy 'act as if you are outgoing' and soon you will be, and it does work...a bit,) but I'm still me.

I hope if and when I meet any of you at events this year you take this into account...my online TM persona may be a few metres away from the real me, but the real me is worth knowing, honestly.

(to confirm how shy I am - the Cheshire Cat above is a hat I wore to the Olympics in London)

What are your faults? Are you brave enough to tell? Are you shy? Is your online persona the real you? Would love you to comment.

18 comments:

  1. Oh my god. I could have written that post. In fact it's really frightening. I do both those things.

    However the older I get the less I see them as faults and more just who I am. It does mean that the people who stick around and get to know me without writing me off are good friends and good people who are not quick to judge.

    My biggest fault, I think, is my terror of appearing stupid, often when it doesn't matter if I did. I think my friends might say my biggest fault is wanting to fix things when I should just listen to the problem.

    Good post.

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    1. Thanks, you are right, the friends we keep are the ones worth keeping

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  2. I'm also a shy person, and that can come across the wrong way, like you say, snobby or standoffish. I also find myself putting my foot in it, when really I'm just trying to "fit" in with the cool gang. I have a dry sense of humour and that can also be taken the wrong way by some people. But that's me and in person I am really lovely...honest! xx

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    1. Maybe the internet lets us reveal our inner 'lovely' :-)

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  3. We all have a shyness somewhere that comes out in different ways, for what it's worth I don't think you have either of the faults you think you have from my following you on twitter. Fab post, you are funny so don't change!

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    1. but that's the online me - off line you'd find me hard to recognise, until i felt relaxed, then it would be back to mad me :-) thanks

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  4. Yes, this could totally be me too, although I tend to label it introversion rather than shyness. I think bizarrely it actually applies to a lot of bloggers, it's a lot easier to interact on our own terms online!

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    1. yes it does seem you are right! released by the web!

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  5. Ah so happy to host your nipple ;) I'm very impressed you only have two faults. I have many many more, and remind myself of them constantly. These include perfectionism, workaholism and the annoying habit of reminding myself constantly about my faults. Thank you for sharing yours so I feel marginally better about mine. I shall now return to acting on twitter as if I'm confident of being far more brave and interesting than I am, and see if I can pull it off as impressively as you do x

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    1. haha thank you for hosting such a great site - looking forward to the next thing, book cover? I'll try and play along!

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  6. It's the hat I found for theDDofTM in a charity shop xD

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  7. I was chatting to a friend the other day about whether mummy bloggers are the same when you meet them in "real life". I feel like I'm mostly myself (maybe a bit braver) on my blog, but so many are wild, outrageous characters that I wonder if they are really being themselves - or hiding a shyness and a need to be liked, just like the rest of us.
    I'm everything I hate in others - needy, socially awkward, insecure, and (to cover all of this up) loud and overbearing, always the joker in the group.
    Maybe I should have covered that up and created a new persona for myself. But by the time I realised this was possible, it was too late. I was being me.
    Nice to know someone I hold in high regard in the blogging world has her insecurities too.

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    1. "hold in high regard in the blogging world"? are you sure you are on the site you think you are??!

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  8. I'm quite a shy person too, but I seem to overcompensate by being too loud and too talkative. I make too much effort and because of that, people often think I'm weird.
    We're all shy in our own ways, I think once we meet the same like minds people, that all melts away.

    Ps; that hat is awesome!

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  9. I'm also very shy and so is one of my children and i have seen with him how it can come across as cold and rude. I also find it incredibly hard to make friends so therefore really don't have any. Online i feel i can be free of the side of me that thinks everyone is judging me, thinking in fat/ugly ect and just say what i think. I'm not quite brave enough to be posting nipple pics but im alot more open.

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  10. Great post, as I said in mine. For me it's the little voices, the negative ones that seem to be my fault. They interfere a lot. Oh and I'm REALLLY messy. Life is too short to be tidy if you aren't a naturally tidy person

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  11. Im one of lifes shy people too. I disguise this with my bright hair and tattoo's. I rely on the fact that people all too often look at the exterior and decide to keep their distance.
    Other faults would include untidiness.

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