9.7.10

IMPORTANT MESSAGE:

IMPORTANT MESSAGE:

You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys
removed by black-market organ thieves? Well, this kind of cruel theft
is happening with other body parts as well!

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago.

I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs.
It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal.
Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?
I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs.
Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans.
And then the thieves struck again.

My arse was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains
to match my new rear end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier.
But my new arse was attached at least three inches lower than my
original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was
fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arms
swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting
scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could
they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey
neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell
the coffee! Those "plastic" surgeons are using REAL replacement body
parts -stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has
something "lifted", look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night.
WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was lying in
bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved
to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept.
Now Ikeep them hidden in my waistband.

(sent to me in an email - too good not to share - take care out there)

5 comments:

  1. Hilarious!!! Love it, the same has happened to me. Nearly all of the young me has gone, just waiting for the rest of my brown hair to be replaced now...

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  2. LOL! I vowed to never get plastic surgery but sometimes I look down at my chest and wish I couldn't see my feet...I wish I saw BREAST! Ugh, but then I had read where when you get breast work it looks nice at first but after you get up in age the implants actually take over breast tissue and you're left with nothing but 2 little plastic implants!

    Lovely blog though, it gave me a delightful chuckle (=

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  3. Thanks for the comments JC, glad you enjoy my ramblings :-)

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  4. Anonymous14/7/10

    Your blog made me laugh....
    My mum recently said that she knew I loved her and she felt flattered that I was copying her.... what on earth do you mean MUM? Well you dye your hair the same colour as mine, and you have the same wobbly tummy... Oh Yes, THANKS MUM!

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