4.1.10

My Parenting Style


is there such a thing?

I don't think I have a style, in some things I'm relaxed to the point of silliness and yet in others I'm strict in the extreme.

So what gives? well it's an odd idea but I use my brain.

My parenting style is based on me and my child, not you, not your child. You can do as you see fit (maiming and abusing your child obviously excepted!) and I will do what works for us.

I read lots of books on babies and children and on parenting. I read books on 'sleeping' and on 'feeding' and on 'talking' and on 'potty training'. I read lots of books, and websites, and magazines, and talked to friends. And you know what? they all disagreed!! No two sources could agree on anything!
So I should 'let my baby cry it out' and I should 'pick her up everytime she cried', I should 'feed every 4 hours' and 'feed on demand'. I should use 'disposable nappies as they are drier' and use 'cloth nappies to save the planet'.
I should feed 'real food at 4 months' or '6 months' or '8 months' or when I finish breastfeeding (which I may not want to do as bottle feeding makes it easier to see how much your baby is getting...
So I should 'let potty training just happen' I should 'use sweets' or 'star charts' I should 'let my child see me use the toilet' I should 'go cold turkey - straight to no nappies' or I should 'use pull-ups in case of accidents' etc etc you get the picture.

One thing I was 100% on, I wanted to breast feed. Which I did - despite a hiccup on day 5 when milk arriving by the tanker load caused my tiny boobs to become hard coconuts that a porn star would be proud of (and that a baby trying to latch onto just bounced off of!) a quick trip back to the hospital and the midwives helped me out, so that was all good. So breast feeding, check, cloth nappies, check.

Letting my baby cry sometimes, yep (so sue me). baby sleeping through the night at 6 weeks, check, potty trained when she seemed to be ready, check, out of nappies and dry at night at 1 year, check......

oh yes I'm the perfect mum.................zzzzzzzzzsscccrraaaaaaaaaattccchhhhhhhhh zzzzzzzzz

sorry what? where was I oh yes...... so my parenting style is a mishmash of things heard, things learned from other mums, my own ideas etc

I believe that children need rules and boundaries so my child has them. But I also believe she's a person with ideas and likes and dislikes that can be discussed. I believe that she should get her way some days but that the world is not hers alone, that mummy and daddy matter too, that our house has rules that we all need to follow to have a happy home. That chores are something no one wants to do but we all have to. That pocket money (like wages) must be earned. That sometimes you can have a treat for no reason, and that some days suck while some are fun. That actions have consequences, and they may be bad.

The one constant is LOVE, I adore my daughter to the point of pain, I'd gladly die to save her..........
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so I read that ramble back to myself and realise I DO have a parenting style, it's 'personal chaotic' and I think that there maybe no saving throws............

9 comments:

  1. Your parenting style sounds SO like mine :D

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  2. I have the same feeling. AND what works for one child doesn't work for another. So my parenting style is not even exactly the same for both children.

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  3. yes you are right, children need 'tailored' parenting, luckily I only have the one to worry about!!

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  4. You're not wrong there. The books are all well and good to get some ideas from but they can't tell YOU how to bring up YOUR child. they're all different, as are the mothers. Love the grumpy witch picture.

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  5. I think it's important to be well read and well informed so that you know the options, but from there it just comes down to what works for you as a family.

    Sounds great but it all falls down a bit when I forget to include what works for me in that equation. Doh !

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  6. chaos is the only way to go in this house so I know where you are coming from.

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  7. AHAHAHAHA "personal chaotic" - I love that you put parenting in D&D terms. Mine is probably neutral good with occasional swings towards chaotic actually, just like me :P

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  8. :-) Ruth, I think you were one of the few that got the reference. LOL

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  9. Back in the day, I didn't read any books and there was no internet. So, I just made it up as I went along. Pretty good results though!

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