you know, the sex talk, the........., well basically just the sex talk!!
my 9 year old knows most of what there is to know to be fair, she had the book by Babette Cole bought for her (by me) when she was about 3 - seemed easier to treat the whole thing like it was just ordinary and normal from the start and that has worked well. She is calm and easy to talk to about sex. When she was about 7 we had the 'what does Gay mean?" conversation, all straightforward, because, let's face it, it is pretty straight forward and easy to get! (it's when a lady loves another lady, or a man loves another man just like your mummy and daddy love each other)
* off the point but she got the giggles in class after asking her teacher what it meant, and the teacher said "it's when two men of the same sex love each other" (think about it)
anyway back to the talk, so a few mornings ago she asked "can a man have a baby? because I saw one on YouTube, and on the news" so of course YES was the answer - "but how"
"well in this man's case he was born with a lady's body, he felt sad in the body he was in, he felt like a man but looked like a lady, imagine if you woke up one day and were a little boy not a little girl, wouldn't you feel odd?"
she was thinking and nodding
"so he was lucky, the Drs could give him medicine and do some surgery to make his body match what he felt he should be - but they left some bits so he could have a baby, some lady bits"
her face now a picture...."they made a WINKY?" me"yes they can do that"
"Oh OK"
end of discussion.
she's the best.
Oh and we know a few men that like to dress as ladies, either all the time, or sometimes, she thinks it's funny, but then she thinks it's funny I have boobies so go figure ;-)
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Well, not all trans people have SRS, but I guess if you're explaining to a child, there's that whole "lies to children" thing isn't there?
ReplyDeleteIt's good that she's asking questions and you're teaching her that not everyone is cis!
And I mean to say, of course, you know, I'm aware the phrase "trapped in the [opposite gender] body" is problematic to say the very least, and I'm speaking as a cis person who obviously has never experienced being trans, so ... dunno if there is or isn't a better way to say it to a nine year old tho, especially to explain something you've never personally experienced...
ReplyDeleteI mean, generally, too, how do you explain things to kids when you haven't been there yourself? I would imagine it's pretty hard, sometimes I think the whole "lies to children" thing is a good way to start... sometimes I'm not so sure.
So I guess I'm saying, I dunno! But you sure have a bright and inquisitive nine year old there. :)
thanks for the comments, talking about sex in general, apart form the basic "that goes there" is pretty difficult too! and I've 'experienced' that! LOL
ReplyDeleteso yes, it's pretty much impossible to explain the complexity of things to a child, but I'm quite proud that she is happy to ask, and that she is so excepting of the answers, and yes, it is nice that she knows people are different, and not every one is cis <-- my newly learned word, thanks to you!
seems I need to buy the book Fluff the Bunny
ReplyDeletehttp://home.comcast.net/~FluffBunny/fluff.html
You rock as a mom!
ReplyDelete